Best first date ideas...

a reply to: Quantum12

My dates usually cancel at the last minute

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
I'm sure it will work out for you!

I'm the type of girl that finds it irresistible when a guy puts more effort into the date than cash. Pack a surprise picnic or set up a tv set outside for popcorn and a movie. Then tell her some really corny line like "how beautiful she looks under the stars." Ok. I know it's a risk coming across as a cheap date....but any woman who thinks that after the guy has put forth some effort in creating a "memory" is NOT the type of girl you should be wasting your time on.

One of my first date(s) fell onto the night that a really big football game was playing on tv. The guy was going to take me to the movies and I knew he'd die to see that game. Although, I knew pretty much how the game was played, I offered for us to watch the game together if he would explain to me what was going on with the game. We ransacked my house for sandwich fixings. Oh ya, I had a beer on hand for him....(Imagine that!) He was one happy guy! And, I got about 6 hours of "quality time" (and more dates) instead of 2hrs at the movies.

a reply to: smcneil01

Your story is very nice. Did you buy the beer for him? You seem like a very cool person!

a reply to: smcneil01
I think putting effort into the date is more important than money into the date, but then I'm not sure what girls these days like. Great story!

originally posted by: Quantum12
dp

I don't know about todays standards, but for me double penetrarion makes a terrible first date idea.

a reply to: dr1234

...no sexual contact. Maybe hand holding or a hug. Why oh why. Please let there be innocent girls and not that..

originally posted by: ksiezyc
a reply to: dr1234

...no sexual contact. Maybe hand holding or a hug. Why oh why. Please let there be innocent girls and not that..

Me and the girl I am dating now, have been for over 2 years, didn't even kiss on the first date. The second date, well that was a different story. we had been "talking" for awhile beforehand though, so it was a natural progression. I agree, first dates are about getting to know someone. I was making a joke about him saying "dp," although he almost certainly meant "double post".

a reply to: dr1234
I think even waiting a month to kiss is fine. Why rush things. I'm really hoping there are innocent girls out there...Even the second date is quick for a kiss. In my opinion Maybe older relationships go faster.

originally posted by: ksiezyc
a reply to: dr1234
I think even waiting a month to kiss is fine. Why rush things. I'm really hoping there are innocent girls out there...Even the second date is quick for a kiss. In my opinion

Maybe older relationships go faster.

Ya, I mean the second date was ok in this case because we had been talking, and clearly had a thing for each other, for a few months before we actually went on our first date. Taking it slow isn't bad, but a month to kiss? A girl needs to feel passion and desirable, I wouldn't recommend going *that* slow. Just my two cents anyway.

a reply to: dr1234
What do you think of asking a girl out who you have no contact with essentially. Specifically. A friend's sister. I'm trying to figure out how to make it more like a date. Assuming she says yes. Depends on the girl with the speed.

originally posted by: ksiezyc
a reply to: dr1234
What do you think of asking a girl out who you have no contact with essentially. Specifically. A friend's sister. I'm trying to figure out how to make it more like a date. Assuming she says yes. Depends on the girl with the speed.

Nothing wrong with asking out someone you don't have a pre established relationship with at all. But first, I would see if that's ok with your friend. If not you might lose a friend, and she would be worried about her brother being uncomfortable. Other than that, take her out to dinner and a walk, or bowling, or shooting pool, or maybe something as small as grabbing a coffee. With coffee you can bail if it's going downhill but do something after if it is going well (a fave of mine).

a reply to: dr1234
Her brother/my friend and I are close friends. He already knows and even supports it. It's more of her liking me. But all he knows from her is she wants a nice guy to take her on a nice date. Not much intel. I'm thinking of going to Central Park, baking something small(muffin/cupcake type things with banana bits) and sitting there and walking around. And yeah, maybe dinner.

a reply to: Quantum12

Odd but take them to a bookstore. See where they wander to and you get an idea of what interests them.

a reply to: VforVendettea

That is a good idea. Where I live we have book readings too. Take a first date to a bookstore or a book reading.

Thank you. That is #1.

a reply to: Quantum12

Wow...

How did I miss this thread?

There is, however, something that really troubles me about dating. Seems to me that many folk date to see if some spark exists between a pair of people, either that or to facilitate mindless rutting, either way.

I, personally, would not consider dating someone unless I was already head over heels in love. Why would I waste my time? None of us have very much of it, and some of us only have slim reserves of sanity left to spend on maybes and possibilities. I have to know what I want, if I am ever going to have a hope of being able to service anyone else's needs, or at least, that is how I think of it.

Thus, I never date. I may, after a while, declare that I have feelings, the sort of feelings that a man gets for a woman when he is damned sure that he has been waiting for her since both he and she were just sparks of an idea in the mind of God. I have wasted time dating before, with disasterous consequences, huge losses and wastes of time, enormous anguish, near bottomless singularities of despair and torment....

It simply is not worth it. Now, meeting a woman in the normal flow of life, becoming close through circumstance, actually developing a relationship naturally...that seems much healthier... Of course, I am old fashioned that way, and no one else my age is. That also has some disasterous implications, but damnit, if I cannot do this love thing how it is supposed to be done, I will settle for never having any again. It is, despite being an extremely desolate and harsh way to live, somewhat less terrible than the alternative.

originally posted by: TrueBrit
a reply to: Quantum12

Wow...

How did I miss this thread?

There is, however, something that really troubles me about dating. Seems to me that many folk date to see if some spark exists between a pair of people, either that or to facilitate mindless rutting, either way.

I, personally, would not consider dating someone unless I was already head over heels in love. Why would I waste my time? None of us have very much of it, and some of us only have slim reserves of sanity left to spend on maybes and possibilities. I have to know what I want, if I am ever going to have a hope of being able to service anyone else's needs, or at least, that is how I think of it.

Thus, I never date. I may, after a while, declare that I have feelings, the sort of feelings that a man gets for a woman when he is damned sure that he has been waiting for her since both he and she were just sparks of an idea in the mind of God. I have wasted time dating before, with disasterous consequences, huge losses and wastes of time, enormous anguish, near bottomless singularities of despair and torment....

It simply is not worth it. Now, meeting a woman in the normal flow of life, becoming close through circumstance, actually developing a relationship naturally...that seems much healthier... Of course, I am old fashioned that way, and no one else my age is. That also has some disasterous implications, but damnit, if I cannot do this love thing how it is supposed to be done, I will settle for never having any again. It is, despite being an extremely desolate and harsh way to live, somewhat less terrible than the alternative.

I can relate to a lot of what you say but relying on fate to put you into proximity of somebody, on the off-chance of being romantically compatible with them... is just too maddening for me.

Instead, I compromise. Since opportunity rarely presents itself in today's busy world, I "date". If I go on a date with somebody, it doesn't mean I'm sold on the idea of being their significant other; it just means I want to get to know them better. Often, I lose interest or stumble across a deal-breaker so I just stop "dating" them before things go very far. However, if there's something more sparkly there after the first date, I'll start shifting into "dating mode".

Maybe you can just meet women and create that situation where the two of you can form some sort of consistent interaction. Just don't call it "dating" if that annoys you. I know you may cringe at this, but online dating can and totally does work if you use a service that fits you.

a reply to: Abysha

If I have to resort to the Internet to find someone, then I might as well forget it.

If things are really that damned broken in the world that the only place a person can go to potentially be connected with someone on a romantic level, is the World Wide Web, then I want nothing more to to with this planet, or anything or anyone that goes on, on its surface.

It's not cringe worthy, its just soul crushingly depressing. If its not going to happen the natural way, then it will just have to not happen and I will have to lump it. There's enough keeping people locked into their wifi connections and their communications apps. It's enough already, without romance being stolen by the cold, unnatural claws of technology as well.

Don't get me wrong, it's great stuff, this tech... But there have to be things you never do with it, things you never let it take away or change, things which remain outside its control, which remain constantly and exclusively matters of chance, down to the tick of the universe. We have sucked the magic and the joy out of so much in life as a species already. I am not prepared to go that route, and I have a deep loathing for the existence of the option to be honest.

a reply to: TrueBrit

Think about it this way: this new world of a chaos-tech hybrid makes meeting people you are compatible with quite a challenge. People back in the day had more time but they pretty much married the best fit in their small world, which is reflected in the high divorce rates.

These days, you have the ability to find and meet people who are incredible matches for you without relying on chance.

People be busy, yo.

So when I say "internet dating", that's probably a misnomer (at least in the way that I use it). To me, I think of it as a tool to put me in touch with men and women who I wouldn't have ever had the chance to meet before. It's not like the actual dates are online; it just puts you in touch.

a reply to: Abysha

For what it's worth, I agree with you.
I can't help but think of what a wonderful tool the internet can be for folks who are homebound for whatever reasons and may not have the ability or desire to go out in public often or in big crowds but still long for the connection of the romantic type. I work with some folks who find it very intimidating and challenging to go out into the public and have formed quite a few of their friendships by online means. Some evolved into a romantic tryst and some not.

Maybe some folks aren't good face to face immediately and the internet offers them the opportunity to get to know someone's mind first.

Of course physical attraction may be the initial spark between most folks but if there's nothing else then well there's nothing else.

My 2 cents.