How do you tell your loved ones you are dying?

a reply to: DeathSlayer

I am so sorry to hear that!

Stay strong. Is there some chance they got it wrong? They thought my dad had pancreatic once and it turned out they were just cysts.

Still if it is what it is, I think you need to prepare them, but I'm the kind of person who prefers to know these things. They are going to suffer the loss no matter what you do, and they are going to grieve. The question is whether or not you want to be there to help them begin the process or not.

But you're the only person who can answer that. You know them best.

a reply to: tikbalang

We tried a lot of things, incl changing her diet to more healthy ones, herbs of various kinds, lots of fruit and vegetables.

Unfortunately there was no effect.

But people should not hold back experimenting, it might work for some and not for others, cancer and treatments are very random.

originally posted by: DeathSlayer
a reply to: chr0naut

God bless you!

I pray for your son and beg God to hear me, to heal your son, to speed up his recovery and that his pain be gone this very day before the sunsets, in Jesus name,

AMEN

I have prayed for your healing too!

I don't know if it is better, but get a church to lay hands on you and the elders to annoint you with some fragrant oil. It says we are to do this in the New Testament to heal the sick (although God can do it even without our assistance).

May God bless you beyond all expectation!

Tell your people as soon as posible so they can enjoy the time you got left in good shape.

Godspeed on the dificult jorney ahead.

originally posted by: Mianeye
a reply to: tikbalang

We tried a lot of things, incl changing her diet to more healthy ones, herbs of various kinds, lots of fruit and vegetables.

Unfortunately there was no effect.

But people should not hold back experimenting, it might work for some and not for others, cancer and treatments are very random.

Cancer itself is a vast range of diseases. Some types respond to some treatments better than others. An Oncologist should be able to identify the treatments likely to work best in each case (based upon their experience and the experience of their colleagues).

a reply to: Mianeye

Hemp oil or cannabis oil? There is a difference. I think most people use the terms interchangeably, but I can walk into Whole Foods and buy hemp oil, and then I can go to prison for using/ making cannabis oil.


Op, this is hard news. I wish you the best. Good on you for trying alternative therapies. And I agree that chemo is a nasty thing. Although, personally, I don't think I'd rule out any one treatment if I were faced with a terminal illness. Though that's just me.

Good luck man!

a reply to: chelsdh

True, one get you high the other one doesn't, but they are almost the same thing, worth noting if any one should wish to try.

Perhaps the first thing to do is for you to understand what is happing to you, get to understand what it means, what treatment there is and how it will affect you. Understand there is surport and your not alone. When you feel strong enough then you can tell your faimaly with out you falling apart and this will reduce the impact the news will have. Its a s#it deal but if you want to lessen the impact you have to get yourself to a point when you are strong enough to handel other people falling apart.Its a sad fact that the sick person often has to carry the healthy, but sometime we are lucky and have a friend who carrys us when we are weak. May your God be with you and hold your hand

a reply to: DeathSlayer
DS, it saddens me to hear this. My sincere condolences. I have lost several people due to cancer. I can only tell you that I was glad most of them let it be known to those they were close to before, and not after. Let the ones closest to you know, so you can all support one another during this time. I believe Romans 15:13 is in order.

originally posted by: DeathSlayer
a reply to: chr0naut

Thank God your child pulled through and made it!

I have decided not to take chemotherapy. Now saying this will piss a few of you off, maybe a few tell me go f**k myself BUT I am against chemotherapy for numerous reasons and would prefer not to discuss them because many know me as that cranky old bastard and his constant debates concerning religion and my faith........ which has NOTHING to do with why I refuse chemotherapy....

I will only say....chemotherapy will extend someone's life but their is a cost for this ...depending on type and stage cancer paitent is in because if not done with 100% accuracy, the side effects from chemo are torture and can be with you throughout the remaining part of your life.

I guess it's your choice and depends on your situation. I'd try everything if I thought it would let me beat it.

My aunt went through cancer in her soft palate. She was lucky and they caught it early, but she opted for both chemo and radiation for it. Where we are at, they have a good program and integrates all kinds of different therapies on top of the traditional, but it's been a long road for her to get back and her tastes are still not where they were.

I know God will be with through it all whatever happens, and you will have a good end whatever the outcome is - either more time here with your loved ones or rest with the Father.

a reply to: Mianeye

I wouldn't say they are almost the same. They may be sister plants, but the effects are vastly different. I've had great success with cannabis oil to treat an illness I have (where nothing else, natural or pharmaceutical has helped). I also tried hemp oil, and it did little other than grease me up. Cannabis has so many chemicals, and while a lot of the components (CBD, THC....) can be isolated to treat illnesses, research is showing that the whole plant works synergistically. I kinda wish that weren't the case, because I could do without THC and the effects (doesn't react well with my anxiety).

Praying for a miracle healing for you...

In terms of when to tell your loved ones, that is very personal and hard to give advice on. Pray about it. My personal feeling would be that once you get a reasonably good handle on what is happening to you (which it sounds like you already have your head wrapped around it as well as can be expected) that you go ahead and share the news. You don't want death to catch you off guard before you give people a chance to say what they may want to say to you. It would allow them more closure, in my opinion, if you can tell them as soon as possible. But there is no right or wrong answer here. Pray about it. See how the Father leads you.

God bless you and your family.

a reply to: DeathSlayer

You must tell them.

Depending on your family dynamic, I do not suggest a "Town Hall" expose to the entire Clan. Take aside the family influencers and those you can trust to help you get the message to the rest of them.

They deserve to know, especially because you are so close. YOU deserve to let them know.

The sooner the better. The more time you and they have a chance to absorb the information and process it, the better for you all. There will be some that handle the news better than others. But do not rob yourself or them of the opportunity to be there for each other.

No two experiences are the same and I would never presume to tell you what you already know. However, I have spent the better part of 2016 in Hospices for a parent and a long-time dear friend. Not only have I observed my own family come to terms with the unavoidable reality, I have seen other families and how each situation is different.

Not only will those closest to you be there for YOU, they will be there for each other. Some will handle things better than others, but the sooner you all start the journey together, the better for all of you.

Be as strong as you can, but let those around you that want to help you, help you.

As bizarre as this may sound this is not just happening to you, it is happening to them as well.

I wish you all the best.

Damn it. We need to catch a train. But we are coming from a conference that is providential for you, I hope.

Please see my silly name and look for me later.

We used to eat cancer for breakfast. My husband is a vet but his specialized training was in the human field and we have seen and done marvelous things. You are fortunate to be in Europe. Germany? We will see if we can find someone to refer you to for two modalities that are relatively new, but amazing. We would combine these, but don't think any one else is, so there may be a challenge there.

The second set of choices would be Dr. Rau in Switzerland, or Dr. Dowes in Germany but we don't think they utilize these other techniques we want to tell you about. We'll get those links to you also.

We'll be sending two other main links ASAP, but cross country travel is momentarily limiting. In the meantime, please, keep things simple. No sugar. Cancer thrives on it. And eat live organic cells, and immediately throw out anything with hydrogenated fats.

There is a technique we did that involves super low dose, I repeat LOW dose chemo, that I ask you to not have a knee jerk reaction to until you understand what it is and how it works. We successfully treated cancers for years without this, via another we will get to later, but IPT became our holy grail of treatment, with very small side effects, if any. You can start reading here and I'll try to work on putting this into a simpler to understand wording from the train:

Findaniptldphysician.bjolspot.com and iptldmd.com.

a reply to: DeathSlayer

Jesus...

Well, first of all, you have to be a little selfish. No one gets out of this world alive, but if you are going to have any chance of dealing with this situation with your mind intact at the end of it all, then you have to be real with your people. It is no kind of love to keep them in the dark until the rot sets in, with them all wondering what the hell is going on, and it will eat at your mind faster than anything else eats the rest of you.

You are going to need the love and support of your family, you need to let them lift you up when your wings are all broken to crap, let them be there for you through whatever comes next. Be honest and open with them about it. I can understand your concerns about your daughter, but she will not thank you for it if she sees you get worse and worse and not a word said about it.

Now, I'm firmly in the camp of "fight it till you loose". Every single day you are alive, that you have ever lived, you have fought entropy. Your fight will get harder than you are used to, but that's only a reason to get good and pissed off, and fight back harder. Statistics can only tell you so much about what is to come next. Try like hell to buck the trend.

And for what it's worth, I am rooting for you.

When I told my sister that my little brother had died.

She dropped dead. She had already had a stroke (weakened state).

So sorry my brother. I hate Cancer. I hate death.

Hope you don't mind if I post this then pray for you.

I am praying for a miracle...

Hey death, I know it's going to be impossibly hard, but you really should sit them all down together and let them know. Let them know that you love them, even if they already know, and let them know that you plan on going to Amsterdam so they can come if they want to as well. If it is truly going to be your last weeks/months on this planet then go out with a bang! Make it the best weeks/months you and your family have ever had. That way when you do pass on they will have so many wonderful memories to remember you by, especially your last days. Also, like everyone seems to be telling you, Don't give up the fight. Once you mentally put up the white flag of surrender your body will surely follow in suite.

originally posted by: whyamIhere
When I told my sister that my little brother had died.

She dropped dead. She had already had a stroke (weakened state).

So sorry my brother. I hate Cancer. I hate death.

Hope you don't mind if I post this then pray for you.

I am praying for a miracle...

To hate death is to live in fear becouse death is coming to all of us, now pain is some thing I fear, but I wont live in fear of it.

I have to agree with Leonidas's approach.

I'd suggest at least telling your wife in advance of everyone else so that she has a chance to be collected and calm when you tell the others, your daughter in particular.

After that, dealing with the practicalities will have a twofold benefit. All your affairs will be in order, which will take a huge burden off your family, plus it will give you something to do.

Sometimes dealing with the mundane or focussing on something other than the major source of anxiety can be hugely therapeutic.

Also, give your family some credit. They may be stronger and more resourceful than you give them credit for. Don't project too much onto them.

Wishing you well.

Live up to that name buddy.