I'm watching my Mum die.

I've been reading a site called Heavenletters.org run by Gloria Wendroff. It has a mass of uplifting and wise communications, from God/Source/Life/Infinite Intelligence, call what you like, which ring true and sounds like common sense..at least to me. Give it a look.

Here's a Letter#5671 dated June 6th which may be pertinent to you:heavenletters.org...

All the best

I went thru this back in 2011..watched her languish and die a death only modern medicine can provide. If you would have asked me the day before she died to list out all the things I did in my life to cause her greif or worry her. I would have been hard pressed to list out a paragraph.....The day after she passed....I could have written a novel. I miss my mom, I miss our talks. Last words to me from her were" I'm confused enough Stephen, now shut up and let Carol talk" Carol is my wife. I feel for you man.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My Mom passed from cancer Feb. 12, 1988. I seldom go a day without something catching my attention and the immediate thought of "Mom would love that..." or "Mom would laugh her ass off over that...", or something like that.

It's not a bad thing. Those are good memories, that far out weigh the bad ones. You'll have those, too, after a while. Just remember she loved you, and love like that never leaves us.

I wish you peace, my friend, and to all your family.

So sorry for your loss, but glad to know you were all there and she was not in pain.
We are all here should you need anything, and take all the time to grieve you need.

originally posted by: and14263
My mum has been ill with cancer.

This weekend it all went tits up. Horrendously.

She's in a hospice. I've been with her for two days, she's on morphine and obviously not feeling pain. But we're feeding her water from a sponge, she's terribly thin, pale, half conscious and doesn't look like my mum.

I knew this was going to happen. I was prepared.

But Fk me it's intense.

I don't want stars and flags. I want to write down here what's happening and see what you guys can say.

She'll be dead by tomorrow. I've come home.

I know death comes to us all. I'm being strong for my family. There's a load of us so we can support each other.

But ATS, I think I need some positive vibes.

Many of you have gone through much worse. I feel for my stepfather, he's there on his own, but we'd do the same for our wife wouldn't we.

I dunno ATS, I kind of hope she goes tonight. I kissed her goodbye and she knew I was there.

This sort of stuff makes us stronger and is natural.

Jesus ATS, I'm strong and weak.

Sorry for hitting heavy here tonight but usually you guys really help.

I think I'll be ok, it's been a long day.

I'm sorry for you. I went through this and I would not wish it on anyone.
It has been 13 years since my mum died in similar way.
I promised her I'd be great but I feel like I've not done it yet.

Please don't destroy yourself looking for answers. There are answers but more questions.
I went through hell looking for an answer to know if a potential cure for cancer existed
backed by robust solid science outside what could have been offered. I found my answer.
It was her choice not to take it. She believed in the docs and I did not. I found an important truth.

I hope you have a good strong family and friends to see you through it.
You will probably be in shock when it happens and numb. At least I was.
It is a weight taken off your shoulders when it happens. I know that sounds terrible but it is true.

A huge big hug to you and anyone else affected by this terrible disease.
It sounds like you really love your mum and she loves you too. That makes you a champion in my eyes.
Take care,
Limbo
EDIT when I read the rest of the thread I see your mum has passed away
A friend told me "Keep your chin up" so keep your chin up.

Just checking in to say I am thinking of you.

a reply to: and14263

Sorry to hear that. It is a brutal experience and I suspect Cancer would be worse to watch a parent die from. I took my mom to her first dialysis treatment and she died of a heart attack right there on the spot. That was brutal enough.

I feel for you, hang in there.

originally posted by: Night Star
Just checking in to say I am thinking of you.

Thanks again and thanks for your message. I did reply but it may be lost in the ether.

a reply to: and14263

I went through this a year ago. My mom was in hospice also. She had MDS, had it for about five years, and finally it went full blown into Leukemia. She lived about 4 days on morphine, and then she was gone. The level of anguish was the most intense I have ever experienced, and when you think about it, it should be. Its probably the most difficult thing you will ever go through in your life, but I am glad I was there for her, and it made the grieving process a little easier to come to terms with, because you have the reality of death right in front of you, and in some strange way it makes it easier to accept it on some small level. It has changed my life. Problems and things that used to bother me suddenly dont seem like such a big deal to me. All the problems I encounter seem less significant. Once you lose your mom, there is no crisis or ordeal in this life that will seem worse than that experience. All our troubles, dont mean squat.In my moms case, I am glad hospice was there for her, she went very peacefully and didnt suffer.Thats the one blessing you can take comfort in, the suffering will finally end and she will be in peace. Good luck to you and peace to you.

a reply to: openminded2011
I know what you mean. I wish I could say more but at the moment I can't. Things are certainly being put into perspective.

Just popping in to ask how things are going.