Hetero Admiration of the Same Gender

a reply to: DBCowboy

Did I look cool?

Nope, not cool.
Was the same exact avy.

How did my fanny look?

No idea.



SIGH: Here's the thread that prompted this one.

I admire traits of others, even animals. "My lord, that dog had gorgeous eyes/markings". Admiring beauty is human, and we should do it as it shows that we have some very human traits.

But i don't size people up. I think that type of thing stems from an insecurity, and i've worked really hard to stamp those out. The one area I still have insecurities in is intellect. I often times feel intellectually inadequate, especially around some of the people I work with. But then they tell me that they feel the same way with me, and I deal with it.

FWIW, and I know this'll piss people here off....i see body image issues as a critical weakness. Its a weakness because its a hindrance that is completely derived from internal conflict, and its critical because it encompasses every aspect of life.

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

But i don't size people up. I think that type of thing stems from an insecurity, and i've worked really hard to stamp those out. The one area I still have insecurities in is intellect. I often times feel intellectually inadequate, especially around some of the people I work with. But then they tell me that they feel the same way with me, and I deal with it.

I understand exactly what you mean.
When I'm with a group of people who are all bright (like here on ATS), it makes me think harder.

Does this post make my thighs look big?

originally posted by: BuzzyWigs
a reply to: reldra

I really like Angelina Jolie's hairstyles (the one in 'Girl Interrupted' mainly) and just picked out one of Jennifer Anniston's I want. Taylor Swift always looks pretty.
I love movies with Julianne Moore and Sandra Bullock.
It's true, I have 'evaluated' other females or thought they were pretty. Definitely not a lesbian.

It's possible, that I have evaluated other women in 'not matching up to me' negatively. I try to avoid it though.

For females I know personally, I don't think I evaluate, though. Maybe when I was a teen in regard to competition.

Wait. Girl Interrupted is one of my favorites, and yes, she is awesome in that. I'm kinda pissed at her about taking Brad, but - well, he's a douche. Jen is the sweetest most beautiful thing....
and Sandra Bullock is a total sweetie,

Julianne Moore, too - also Julianna Marguillies
I think Ashlee Judd is adorable.

It's kind of nice, you know, to be old enough that you don't have to feel weird about admiring young women - being able to say, "She's very pretty!" regarding other women (for example, The Duchess of Cambridge) is very liberating.

No more "competition" thing.

yes, absoluely Julianna Marguillies and Ashlee Judd too. Followed Julianna Matguillies since ER. Ashlee judd has been in 1 or 2 thrillers I liked.

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

I agree with you. And we all - all, to a one - have "body image" issues.
I know it's all PC or whatever to not talk about it, but the fact is that it's a human trait. We observe others. We compare what we observe with other things.

We make judgment calls about what seems okay, and what falls outside the parameters of okay....

a reply to: DBCowboy

Does this post make my thighs look big?

Uh, no. Just your mouth.

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

hahahahahahahahaha

Awesome come back!

a reply to: DBCowboy

I KNOW, right? Just like 3rd grade!!!!

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahahahahahhaaa!!!!

No, dahling ... It makes your @ss look fat.

originally posted by: ketsuko
No, dahling ... It makes your @ss look fat.

I knew it.

I hate myself now.

More Pilates, always the solution!

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

I think you are roughly accurate in your assertions.

However, I doubt most men would admit to themselves that they thought another guy was ATTRACTIVE physically in any clear sense. That would be "tooooo gay" for most of them.

How far would their 'admiration' go, consciously? Good question.

Obviously, there must be a continuum from say 0 to 100. I guess we could label 0 = a guy who was totally blah about the male physical appearance of other guys to someone who was flaming gay and wanted to jump the guy's bones who was at all physically up to snuff.

Where would the range be in your OP question area? Hmmmm . . . pondering. Maybe 5 to 70?

I think the upper limit of what I think you are talking about would be where the male at all begins to either get aroused physically or fantasize about a physical hook-up. Probably the average heterosexual man would be alarmed to get within 20 points on the scale of that point.

I read a few articles a few months ago of what I understand is a phenomenon in the UK where sports team mates greatly enjoy sleeping in the same bed, spooning, etc. and WITHOUT being gay; without having gay ideations or gay acting out. They just enjoy the brotherhood feeling of the physical closeness without being sexually turned on.

The hypothesis was in an article or two that given that homosexuality is now SUCH A NON ISSUE in that culture, that heterosexual men now feel liberated to be more seriously affectionate toward one another without fear of being or being seen as gay.

That reminds me of China, where, during my first time there, the men were very comfortable being affectionate--holding hands walking down the street; walking down the street arms around shoulders; sitting in a theater arms around shoulders etc. WITHOUT BEING gay and without being seen as gay--generally.

I'm skeptical we'll see the same thing in the USA as seems to be going on in the UK and other parts of Europe on such scores. Particularly not in the mountain states or the Southern states. Who knows what the Left Coast will do! LOL.

I do strongly believe that men have been shut off in our culture and in our era from their own feelings of warmth, tenderness-with-strength; non-sexual affection etc. etc. etc. And I think it is LONG overdue for that problem to be adjusted, corrected.

How many men consciously admire another guy's body without being the least bit gay--I don't know. Certainly, I'd say, far more than would admit it.

Maybe we'll get a lot of feedback on the issues involved in this thread. I hope so.

a reply to: DBCowboy hahahah, guys check me out all the time too, they are so jealous, its funny too because I drive an exotic sportscar so that really gets em lol.

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

i have a mild body dysmorphia where I feel unhuman, walking in a world of humans.

But inadequacies? Not really. Im not typical, and I readily admit that. Typical people don't tend to end up on CT sites, though. LOL.

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

Yeah, I think there is probably more checking out for other guys being

--fit
--muscled
--without a bear belly
--abs

etc.

I don't know how much of that transfers CONSCIOUSLY to . . . 'He's got a great bod.' or 'What a great looking guy.'

Men secure in their sexuality would likely be comfortable going there.

Others, not so much.

a reply to: MEDIKATED

I'm looking at your butt right now, sorry.

Tight little package!

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: MEDIKATED

I'm looking at your butt right now, sorry.

Tight little package!

But, does your butt

do a decent duck wiggle?

True confession . . . I can't remember the last time I did one of those. Used to do them for the wife.

Her buns were . . . unusual . . . in that in her nursing program, she'd jump up and down for her classmates . . . so demonstrate their capacity to make a clapping sound. LOL.

We were such a talented couple. Sigh.
Not.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: MEDIKATED

I'm looking at your butt right now, sorry.

Tight little package!

No, no ...

May I direct you to Michigan's tight end?

Now there's a Butt!

Both men and women comfotable enough with their sexuality should feel fine about admiring the same gender. It bugs me when people jump to conclusions that you're sexually attracted to the same gender just because you notice how beautiful or handsome they are. Do you want to bed them? No, and if you do that is completely okay as well.