Hetero Admiration of the Same Gender

Okay, I've been thinking about posting this thread for a couple of days .

(thanks, Gus ). I want to discuss the fact that people of both genders and all sexual orientations "look at " and sometimes "admire" persons of the same gender. And doing so does not mean the person is gay. I post it here to get an idea of what ATS members think about the concept.

It is a very human thing: we look at the opposite gender, we look at our own, and we also look at ourselves. (Mirrors have been around for many thousands of years.)

If a woman looks at another woman, she will (typically) "evaluate" them - everything about their entire physical presence - and attach adjectives:

[she is] attractive, or pretty, or adorable, or beautiful, or fat, or ugly, or frumpy, or skinny ---------

That is what women do. And it does not mean that she is a lesbian.
It's pretty common knowledge that women put on makeup not for men, but for other women. That does not make them "lesbians" either.
To pretend that women don't look at other women and then compare and contrast themselves to that other woman is naive.

I posit that men do the same thing. Men look at, "size up", evaluate, and make judgments regarding other men. Whether it's the stature, shape, style of talking, or walking or dressing or whatever, vehicle driven, etc....

I suggest that men look at other men and gauge themselves against those other men.

For both genders, this is true. We all look to [at] others of our gender in order to manage and nurture our self-esteem, individuality, validity, and acceptability.

It's a very odd thing about humans. But - there are non-human animals that preen and fuss and keep a sharp eye on the 'competition' too -

what do you guys think (about this well-known phenomenon)???

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

Yep and I wish people would stop feeling like they're doing something wrong and then acting out about it.

a reply to: Kali74

Yep and I wish people would stop feeling like they're doing something wrong and then acting out about it.

I'm not sure what you mean, Kali.

I starred your post and thought about it for a couple of minutes - but - what do you mean? Did I do something to offend you?
????

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

I really like Angelina Jolie's hairstyles (the one in 'Girl Interrupted' mainly) and just picked out one of Jennifer Anniston's I want. Taylor Swift always looks pretty.
I love movies with Julianne Moore and Sandra Bullock.
It's true, I have 'evaluated' other females or thought they were pretty. Definitely not a lesbian.

It's possible, that I have evaluated other women in 'not matching up to me' negatively. I try to avoid it though.

For females I know personally, I don't think I evaluate, though. Maybe when I was a teen in regard to competition.

Almost forgot Susan Sarandon. I admire her greatly. Love ehr movies. But she will mainly always be 'Janet' to me. LOL

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

I look at other men all the time and wonder why my butt isn't as cute as theirs.

Then I get angry and do stair master for a few weeks until Voodoo donuts gets me again.



So your entire premise is that people are people?

And I know people looks at my fanny.

I can tell.

a reply to: reldra

I really like Angelina Jolie's hairstyles (the one in 'Girl Interrupted' mainly) and just picked out one of Jennifer Anniston's I want. Taylor Swift always looks pretty.
I love movies with Julianne Moore and Sandra Bullock.
It's true, I have 'evaluated' other females or thought they were pretty. Definitely not a lesbian.

It's possible, that I have evaluated other women in 'not matching up to me' negatively. I try to avoid it though.

For females I know personally, I don't think I evaluate, though. Maybe when I was a teen in regard to competition.

Wait. Girl Interrupted is one of my favorites, and yes, she is awesome in that. I'm kinda pissed at her about taking Brad, but - well, he's a douche. Jen is the sweetest most beautiful thing....
and Sandra Bullock is a total sweetie,

Julianne Moore, too - also Julianna Marguillies
I think Ashlee Judd is adorable.

It's kind of nice, you know, to be old enough that you don't have to feel weird about admiring young women - being able to say, "She's very pretty!" regarding other women (for example, The Duchess of Cambridge) is very liberating.

No more "competition" thing.

You just now figured that out? Really?

Not being mean ... it just never occurred to me that our ability to judge attractiveness in others was supposed to be either hetero or homo.

That would mean the ability to appreciate a lot of the world's finest art just got cut in half. I am missing out on Botticelli for example and Degas.

a reply to: DBCowboy

My entire premise is that just because a guy "sizes up" another guy doesn't mean he's gay. Guys have "body image" sh!t just like girls do.

And yes, girls look at other girls and gauge themselves in comparison: "am I shorter/taller, slimmer/fatter, whiter/browner, cuter/uglier than that girl over there??"

It's real. It happens. It's part of our society. And just because girls look at other girls does not mean they are 'lesbians' and just because guys look at other guys (and they do! just admit it!) doesn't mean they are 'gay.'

It's just a conversation starter, DB.

(Oh - and I saw you on the CarTalk forum a few weeks ago. Just fyi.)

a reply to: ketsuko

No, I'm not "just now knowing this." There was a thread about the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and their adorable babies - and a member took my admiration of Kate to be a lesbian attraction.

This thread is an offshoot of that.

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

No my friend sorry if I confused you or anyone else lol!

I meant homophobic people that act out against gay people, I feel like that it may be because they feel shame for the perfectly human act of checking out the competition.

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

Not me on car talk, I don't even know how to pump gas

I can't imagine that anyone thought or even cared if someone was gay for scoping out the same sex.

One disclosure point. You can believe it or not.

I used to model in college and even paid my way for 2 years, modeling. JC Penneys if you want to look up decades old stuff.

Gays, straight, bi . . who really give a sh#t?

FFS, people. I made a thread in chit-chat....because someone suggested that if I thought another woman (Kate, Duchess of Cambridge) was attractive that made me a lesbian.
This is halfway a joke. Goddammit.


Someone go get AugustusMasonicus, please. This is all his fault.

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

Since Augustus isn't here, I'll answer for him.

Spoken like a true dyke.



Now pics, in jello.

Please.

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

Oh, if that's all ...

Geez, Buzzy, you lesbian.

Feel better?

If not, have some whiskey; then you will.

Am I allowed to say "nipples"?

I suddenly want to say the word "nipples".

hehehehehe

a reply to: DBCowboy

Not me on car talk, I don't even know how to pump gas

Pretty sure it was.

On their forum.

db[something] with your same avy. It was several years old. Just an archived thread post.....not a big deal. Oh well. Doesn't matter.

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

You have a scarlet L (for liberal, leftist not lesbian LOL) pinned on you, they pass those things out like candy around here.

a reply to: Kali74

It's rather painful!!
Sheesh.

originally posted by: BuzzyWigs
a reply to: DBCowboy

Not me on car talk, I don't even know how to pump gas

Pretty sure it was.

On their forum.

db[something] with your same avy. Oh well. Doesn't matter.

Did I look cool?

How did my fanny look?

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

Indeed.