Being alone is better than being vulnerable.

I am positive that I have come to the conclusion that being alone is better than letting anyone in to the point where you feel vulnerable, and subsequently get hurt.

The hurt you feel is never worth the happiness that person might bring you.

I have walls up for a serious reason, and every single time I have let them down the person either #s you over or leaves.

people might say 'oh you havent met the right person'
no everyone is the same.

Im getting 12 cats and dying alone.

originally posted by: IvyNeptune
I am positive that I have come to the conclusion that being alone is better than letting anyone in to the point where you feel vulnerable, and subsequently get hurt.

The hurt you feel is never worth the happiness that person might bring you.

I have walls up for a serious reason, and every single time I have let them down the person either #s you over or leaves.

people might say 'oh you havent met the right person'
no everyone is the same.

Im getting 12 cats and dying alone.

You look like almost a twin to my daughter. It is so odd.

Being alone for awhile can be good. Learn to love yourself. But forever, no. You will meet someone. You are too young to come to this conclusion. Unless you are 85 and just picked a random avatar.

Lol so many lurkers giving out flags and stars on this thread

I hate to say it, or maybe cause im drunk, but after being in 2 toxic relationships one after another it felt awfully damn good to finally break those chains and become a free bird.

But... time does take it's toll.

originally posted by: Konduit
Lol so many lurkers giving out flags and stars on this thread

I hate to say it, or maybe cause im drunk, but after being in 2 toxic relationships one after another it felt awfully damn good to finally break those chains and become a free bird.

But... time does take it's toll.

I flagged and starred it. Get a grip. And I am sorry about your past relationships.

I didn;t flag and star it because I agree she should get 12 cats, I flagged and starred it because she came here to talk.

a reply to: IvyNeptune

I would rather be alone. Which I do. Than to be with someone and feel alone. I know the hurt is aweful.

Just me. But when I've gone through a breakup. I get depressed to the point that I can't eat.
As I stated in another thread earlier. I've been single for 15 1/2 years. No dating at all. Except one quick and very bad APP attempt that ended not so good. But nothing nefarious, sent me running after 2 hours.
I'm very happy with me and my situation.

I got 3 wonderful dogs. Weimaraner's are funny.... Sorry I'm allergic to cats. 😊

I wish you happiness no matter what fellow ATS member😃🍕

a reply to: reldra

I know relax, the point is that more people then we think have this type of hurt weighing down on them. But not everyone wants to admit it.

originally posted by: Konduit
a reply to: reldra

I know relax, the point is that more people then we think have this type of hurt weighing down on them. But not everyone wants to admit it.

You are right. It is not right to tell people who are probably 20 that they should be alone.

a reply to: IvyNeptune

You WILL find someone. Maybe you aren't looking in the right places. My mom always told me, about relationships "If you aren't at the bus stop, you will not catch the bus." Meaning, go to places you enjoy, do hobbies you enjoy and you will find someone.

a reply to: IvyNeptune

If that is you in your avatar, you are young and gorgeous and have plenty of years ahead of you. You may choose to keep your walls up, but someday someone may find you and take that wall down brick by brick if they have to and you will peek over the edge and wonder...maybe, just maybe this time it could be different. If not, cats are awesome companions. You'll always have that.

a reply to: reldra

I always felt that when you're looking. You either find trouble or nothing at all.
But the best always happen when you least expect it.
Perhaps you are right about going to places of good hobbies. Be yourself and have fun. Makes you happy. And when you least expect it. Someone noticed some smiles.

👍

a reply to: reldra

I'm so cynical when it comes to relationships. It's great at first, but... it always turns into a roller coaster of drama. Up down up down ugh. Maybe it's just the type of women ive been with. I agree never give up though, and trust me I know it's impossible to give up even if you try.

At least I have more time to troll ATS now... see you on the politics forums bae

a reply to: IvyNeptune

This conclusion ain't easy to live by. I share your story, the times that I got closer in recent years only made me hurt more than happy, and I have been happy and free by myself all along.

Sometimes you miss just laying down next to someone on bed, but I keep on hearing the horror stories my friends are telling me about their relationships lol, and it always brings me back to the point of appreciating that I don't have to live these dramas, these moments where you feel your life is falling apart because of the partner's moods or conditioning.

May you be free and happy!

originally posted by: Konduit
a reply to: reldra

I'm so cynical when it comes to relationships. It's great at first, but... it always turns into a roller coaster of drama. Up down up down ugh. Maybe it's just the type of women ive been with. I agree never give up though, and trust me I know it's impossible to give up even if you try.

At least I have more time to troll ATS now... see you on the politics forums bae

LOL, even marriage is like that. If it isn't, you get bored. Believe me, I know.

a reply to: reldra

Hmm touche. Rough patches do keep you on your toes, but when the whole environment starts becoming toxic it feels better to cut out for a while and catch your breath.

a reply to: IvyNeptune

I never feared being alone until I spent time with a partner. Now it seems like being alone is one of the most agonizing ways to spend an existence.

I will never stop believing in love.

originally posted by: reldra

originally posted by: IvyNeptune
I am positive that I have come to the conclusion that being alone is better than letting anyone in to the point where you feel vulnerable, and subsequently get hurt.

The hurt you feel is never worth the happiness that person might bring you.

I have walls up for a serious reason, and every single time I have let them down the person either #s you over or leaves.

people might say 'oh you havent met the right person'
no everyone is the same.

Im getting 12 cats and dying alone.

You look like almost a twin to my daughter. It is so odd.

Being alone for awhile can be good. Learn to love yourself. But forever, no. You will meet someone. You are too young to come to this conclusion. Unless you are 85 and just picked a random avatar.

when I said 'almost a twin', I was not kidding.

a reply to: reldra

no the avatar is me.

I honestly feel it though. I probably am too young to think this and I kind of knew I might get that reaction. But the hurt lasts so much longer than the happy feelings.

Im not sure why we have evolved this way? Is it so that we stop doing the things that make us hurt?

a reply to: reldra

Omg... are you sure your not being trolled by your daughter right now? Lol, jk. The resemblance is pretty striking though.

I can imagine she takes after her mother, now I might have to be extra nice.

a reply to: IvyNeptune

Being alone is a vulnerability. To me, it is like nails on a chalkboard in my soul sometimes. Waking up alone every morning, going to bed at night the same way, eating alone at lunchtime, the cafeteria of life passing me by, just as it did when I was a lad. I am the third wheel at the movies, either that or sitting at the back with an empty seat between me and the nearest human being.

Three years of solitude has taught me that being alone is no better than being in a bad relationship, just different to it. It certainly is not a good enough time, to discount the possibility of one day being something other than crushingly lonely.

originally posted by: IvyNeptune
a reply to: reldra

no the avatar is me.

I honestly feel it though. I probably am too young to think this and I kind of knew I might get that reaction. But the hurt lasts so much longer than the happy feelings.

Im not sure why we have evolved this way? Is it so that we stop doing the things that make us hurt?

The hurt can last years. The hurt from your first love can be felt when you are in love with someone else 20 years later. But then, it is a happy/sad memory that you want to keep. Relationships get so much better over time, you learn to state what you want and require and will not stand for any less. The trash gets put aside so much faster on your way to a fantastic person.