Is it me who is old fashioned as a parent or just responsible?

Kids are going to emulate what the see other people do, that includes TV and Video games. You can beat it out of them if you want, but I'd say that not exposing a child to adult themes in the first place would be a little more effective.

What about the sexual themes in Grand Theft Auto? Is that appropriate for a 9 year old to experience?

It's hard to say, I watched "Revenge of the Nerds" pretty frequently when I was a kid and that had quite a bit of nudity in it, but my parents sure as hell didn't LET me watch it.

a reply to: anxiouswens
Don't doubt yourself! You sound like a great mom. A lot of times, the mothers who let their kid's get away with stuff is because the mother's feel bad about something in the mother-child relationship. Another rule applies-You give them an inch and they will want to take a mile.
And raising him with manners and respect-could turn out great for him. it's a sign of a high socio-economic background. And girl's love a gentleman.

a reply to: Slanter

He is only allowed to play it when both myself and my husband are home,because he calls his dad to come and conduct the planning of the missions,which often gets done in the strip club.He knows the strip clubs and That type of contents is off limits.And usually one of us sit with him while he plays anyway,he is seldom alone when playing games.

I actually cannot recall When i last had to give my son a spanking,because he is one really good kid,and does nothing to deserve spankings. We brought him up well. So well,that we can trust him,in fact is has been proved to us by his attitude,personality,behavior and conduct that he is not adversely influenced by the game GTA.

We don't watch tv,it's been disconnected from the service,it's used for games. At least in GTA his dad can do the mission-planning in the strip club for him.

Have you seen how saturated tv is with sex,nudity,sexual references,etc?

Now That is something i would rather not have my child exposed to. Besides the fact that most of tv content is the most inane drivel you can imagine. You can barely get through 5 minutes before a almost-naked bimbo is parading around on the screen! And all the time,the indoctrination to consume,consume,consume,buy,buy,buy,all that is important is physical appearance,how much Stuff you can accumulate,and if you cannot afford it,well there;s the indoctrination from an early age to run to the almighty Credit Card..Tv is Far worse poison than any game,imo.

Well this is our family's experience of this subject,of course i realise it's not the same for everyone else.

a reply to: GreenGunther

The Terms and Conditions of this site stipulates that replies have to be in the English language. You are very welcome to send me a private message,and in Afrikaans,BUT please no cryptic poetry,say what you want to say straight-up and make no bones about it.

a reply to: Raxoxane

I did. And singling out a specific language is discrimination. I appreciate your calm attitude about this, but none of that is cryptic, it's a simple message, with a simple meaning. One can express oneself differently in various languages, to single out a specific language is to limit me on how I can express myself. That is to limit me as a human in so many ways. I'm sorry if I come off very defensive, I'm not protecting Afrikaans, I don't like the language, the people or the history. I'm just trying to justify my expression. Apologies if I offended in any way.

a reply to: GreenGunther

No need to apologise,i'm not easily offended anyway. The reason for that rule in the T+C's of this site is because the membership of ATS is comprised of people from literally all corners of the world,from America to Argentina to Outer Mongolia to Japan,whichever place happens to have internet available. So if some folks wish to reply to someone in a language that they know that person will understand,say,Portuguese/Afrikaans or French,that means that most other members will completely miss the message. Many of us are pressed for time,and don't have time to go to Google translate. Which is not all that reliable anyway.So it's not discriminating against against a particular language,just English IS the generally most widely understood language on the planet,so therefore it is the most practical.

If you put your message across in English,everyone on this site will understand it,vs just a handful of people.

About the Afrikaans language,i'm not crazy about it myself,but it can be useful.It can be extremely expressive. If you have ever listened to Valiant Swart's song "Hawelose Lewe" you will know that there has never been a song that so well sums up a brutal life,for instance. About Afrikaner people,well there,imo,it is the same with every single group/ethnicity on this planet. You get the really mostly genuinely good people,and their polar opposite ,the really mostly genuine assholes - and then you get the "middle ground" regular folks who has in them about an equal amount of both positive and negative characteristics or personality traits.About the history..well it is what it is-none of us can change the past. Although we white South Africans will have to forevermore pay for the mistakes of our forefathers. Nothing we can do about that but soldier on and forge ahead to the best of our abilities in this violent country.
I myself,though fluent in Afrikaans,have since earliest childhood been raised language-wise more English,but with the Afrikaans-type of parenting. I think in English,i dream in English,etc.A bi-lingual household with the focus on learning to read,and write in English first,then Afrikaans,so by the time i got to grade 1 i was fluent in both.

I'm afraid i still cannot make out what you mean with your (very nice,but to me, cryptic) poem. I'm not one for subtleties,i'm a very straightforward-minded person,so when speaking to me,it's best to just say what it is you mean in normal language.

Perhaps you are trying to tell me i'm a lousy parent who smothers my child/is overbearing,etc - my apologies but this goes over my head.

I would not be offended at that either,as i Know i'm not and my children's love for and devotion to me,plus their decency,is testament to the fact that my husband and myself are not lousy parents.So if you want to say something,it's not your fault that poetry goes over my head, so to tell me straight-up in plain words what you mean,would be best.

Just in case you never heard this:

a reply to: Raxoxane

I fear thread drift has occurred, I sent you a U2U, but we don't need to continue this as I fear things are becoming a bit negative. Apologies to all who have been confused by the last couple of posts.

originally posted by: DAVID64
a reply to: NobodiesNormal

the manners and decorum you are teaching your kid may have little place left in our social structure

I'd have to disagree. My youngest 2 have very good manners compared to their peers and those kids sort of "straighten up" when my kids are around. They stop all the constant cursing and lewd language, because my kids will call them on it. I've heard my daughter ask a friend "Do you really need to say fu*k every other word?" Their teachers and principle have commented they are mature beyond their years and are actually a pleasure to teach. They are in no way considered "straight laced" or nerds or ostracized because of their manners, they are actually well respected. Other parents comment on their manners when they are at friend's house and are always welcome any time they want to go.
Have you ever seen a group of kids being jerks and then when one kid joins them, they stop, because they don't want to look immature compared to that kid?
That one is mine.

you actually are only confirming my statement with this post by pointing out how those manners and decorum have made them out of place in the social structure of their peers, you literally say that when your kids enter the scene the entire social structure HAS to change to accommodate them, and if it doesn't they will protest it. this is exactly my point, their manners dont have a place in our social structure and such a place must be made for them whenever they appear.

im not saying that its bad or anything, by all means keep teaching them to be polite, maybe if enough people do that we can bring this back into the norm for our society because right now as your post exemplifies, it isnt normal anymore...

I too had to deal with my son wanting to 'catch up' to what videos his friends were allowed to play, so I bought the video games for him because he made such a big deal about it. Then, I observed the violence and demeaning depiction of women, but throughout his life, I have always been very verbal with him and his male friends, and continued to correct them whenever I encountered what I considered to be bad behaviour or demeaning women. They are grown now and each have long-term female partners and good relationships, from what I observe.