Am I wrong out of town gf partying for work?

Am I wrong? My girlfriend is at a trade show out of town and has been closing the bars down and getting drunk every night with clients and co workers. I've asked her to text me after being out so I know she made it back to hotel safe. After 4 nights and zero texts because she has passed out I am the bad guy because I think she is out of line. She says it's all part of the job. She works in the medical field and she doesn't do sales. I don't see this as part of the job. She claims this will help her get ahead in the company. Tonight is the last night and I asked her to stay in and talk things out with me. I threatened to leave her and now she is laying a guilt trip
On me because all of her company is supposedly at the same bar and she says that staying will help her get ahead. I am currently packing.

Medical field. Closing bars. Trade shows. Wot

Sounds like a dead relationship.

I don't think you are in the wrong at all. It sounds a bit off.

a reply to: leemachino

The relationship is over move on.

a reply to: leemachino

Wine and Dinning your clients is all part of the sales pitch.

Depending on your clients, younger clients you take to the bar, and out partying..

Older clients you take to a restaurant, and buy them a fine meal.

Company reps grease the wheels for the sales people.

/shrug. How you take it, is your own thing. Some can live with it, other's can't.

If you think she's out banging her clients, that's something you need to discuss with her. If she's been a faithful gal for a while, than I think your over-reacting. However, if she and you have had issues, and trust is thin.. than it's still something for you to decide.

Just remember, keep a level head. Jealousy, is an evil little monster that makes us doing bad things, and pride keeps us from apologizing.

I work in the medical field...

If she was in sales, that's one thing. You're expected to wine them and dine them, the clients I mean.

Other than that, sounds like she has a a wild hair up her hind end. Maybe she is bored on the relationship and that's why she is out having a good time?

Works both ways my friend...

Good luck.

Getting ahead? How???

Yeah. I'm saying that's not a good way to deal with anyone if you're in a committed relationship... I don't care what kind of business you're in.

a reply to: leemachino

First off. Never threaten to leave or give ultimatums unless you mean it.
And by mean it, I mean it should involve some sort of mental, physical or child abuse. This is quite tame.

You are over reacting a bit, but I can see where you are coming from.
It does sound strange that she is in medical, and is boozing it up everynight with sales to get ahead, doesn't really make sense.

Honestly, I think you just need to let this one cool down for now. If you really want this relationship to work you need to swallow your pride, tuck away your man ego and trust her. Let her make mistakes on her own. I am not saying she is being unfaithful, but you freaking out like this doesn't help one bit, it'll only push her away further. She is a person to you know.

But, from what I see damage has already been done and it's gonna be a tough road to recovery. Choose you words wisely if you want this to work, and give it time.

It's one thing to wine and dine with clients, but to get so drunk you pass out and can't make a phone call to let you know she is ok is not a good thing!

a reply to: leemachino

Time to move on buddy, I've learned a valuable lesson in life to never get too attached to anyone, everyone is self serving

Not a huge deal if everything else is cool.

a reply to: leemachino

Simple really...

IF this is a relationship that actually matters to her... She would have no problem taking a few minutes to send a text to a concerned boyfriend. Most people spend half their day on the phone... and i'd put money on the fact that shes texting her friends...

No texts for 4 days when you specifically requested it?

keep packin bud...

a reply to: leemachino

I have thought about your relationship for about 3.4 seconds and my advice is . Run , run really fast and hide .

a reply to: leemachino

When the town i am from criminalized nudity in strip clubs there was alot of talk about us losing convention business. So now they wear bikinis. You're over reacting. I used to work as a stagehand, the whole reason they go to a town for a convention is to have party business expenses, it's called per diem pay, congress even gets paid in per diem I've been told. You're the problem not her. These people have no clue. They go to a convention, make sure the booth is assembled, go to meetings, work a booth, give away free stuff (swag) and brochures, give demos, then they go to a bar, strip club, see a show and they go back to their nice hotel and crash because it's been a long long day. You're messing up a good thing.Part of the money they give you for per diem is supposed to be spent on entertainment, some for lodging and some for food, even some truck drivers get per diem pay, it's nearly tax free and you don't even have to keep receipts. Some truck drivers choose per diem pay simply because it can't be reduced for child support payments.

a reply to: leemachino

She's not being honest. I don't know her or you - but based on what you have said I have to say it''s time to move on. If she were really committed she would be making time for you.

Even if going out drinking, dinner, etc were necessary (she may be jumping the boat thinking it will advance her when she's not even in the sales role yet) you don't need to go to that extreme. You can still have one drink, stay for a while and then leave after a decent hour or two. You don't go wild and ignore your other half at home to this degree.

I dont trust her - I am so sorry, that's just my take.

Look after yourself and move on. I think you know the answer and just needed someone to hear you and know that you are not imagining things and needed to hear that you deserve to be teated with respect and decency. Take care.

originally posted by: hutch622
a reply to: leemachino

I have thought about your relationship for about 3.4 seconds and my advice is . Run , run really fast and hide .

Yup, because running away before having all the facts has been the best thing to do since like.. ever..

/facepalm

I'd suggest the opposite. Get the facts, and such before you make any decisions.

Running away is the easy thing to do.

Staying to get the facts, and calming talking about it, without arguing, is the adult thing to do..

Nothing was ever learned or figured out by loosing ones head, and running away.

You are her boyfriend not her husband. She is a free woman. Free to party... Free to drink... Free to see other men on those medical trips. If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.

a reply to: leemachino

No dude, you aren't wrong. If I had to go out of town for business, I would definitely be texting my husband. As he would me. And here is the thing, even if you were wrong about expecting a text when she gets in from her totally unnecessary partying (which you aren't) she is STILL WRONG for not respecting your need for a text when she gets into her room at night, since you specifically asked for it. She is wrong no matter what, and doesn't respect you. Go.

a reply to: leemachino

After 4 nights and zero texts because she has passed out I am the bad guy because I think she is out of line. She says it's all part of the job.

I'm confused. If you received zero texts back then how do you know she didn't reply because she passed out? If you received zero texts back then when did she tell you "it's all part of the job"? Just curious.

a reply to: WP4YT

You are her boyfriend not her husband. She is a free woman. Free to party... Free to drink... Free to see other men on those medical trips. If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.

Believe it or not some couples practice monogamy before marriage, and some remain monogamous and never marry.

If you're dating then I say date as many as you want until you find "the one". But if you're in a relationship, and both people agreed it was a monogamous thing, then what you're condoning for them to do is to cheat on each other.