I'm so jaded it isn't funny.

reply to post by Scotscorps84

Dont give me that nonsense....it doesnt hold when the one speaking says "Hey, Im a drunk so what?"

Great way to get your point across.

mysterioustranger
reply to post by Scotscorps84

 

Dont give me that nonsense....it doesnt hold when the one speaking says "Hey, Im a drunk so what?"

Great way to get your point across.

I don't think I ever said I was a drunk? I've turned to alcohol more than a few times in 11 years during hard times and felt real crappy but I do agree that is the wrong way to consume and enjoy alcohol. I've enjoyed alcohol with friends and family in moderation and with responsibility far more often than Ive used it as an escape. I drink very rarley but when i do, i do in the right way. My point is that alcohol can be enjoyed, just stay away from it if you are down already cause it's not going to help

i was still bumping into things when i was 24 and even later..
it's probably going to be the same for you, OP

what's the big secret about talking to women? ..take the final step out of the equation (the conquest)
just enjoy the company as you might with your "friends"

the person who pleasantly presents himself to 30 job interviews will usually get at least 2 or 3 decent job offers..

I have to be very careful how I word this, but this whole "depression" debate often leaves me scratching my head at how many people just don't seem to realise that everyone reacts differently to every situation. Some people might be suffering from 'depression', yet then just accept their situation and get on with life with the most positive attitude possible. Others, in the same situation, might let that 'depression' get to them more than it should, therefore making the situation seem worse than it actually is.

I am no expert on depression, but I am absolutely convinced that depression is a state of mind that each person chooses to enter. Some people are more dramatic than others, and in many cases what they may deem as depression, may actually be a state of mind.

Yes, I am aware that many cases of depression are genuine, but I'm sure we all know that person that claims to have depression, yet it is just a result of being over dramatic to a non dramatic issue. I know of quite a few younger people that act in a depressed state just because their internet or phone signal isn't working properly for half a day.

Not being able to find, or approach a girl can be depressing, but is it depression ? If you just give up and complain about your situation, then you are contributing to your 'depression'. Your state of mind has allowed depression to exist, whereas with a stronger will and a more positive attitude, does that depression exist ?

When I was your age I found it very hard to approach women. I had 2 options from that moment. The first option was to complain about my situation and then let it get me down to the point of depression, OR, I can cop it on the chin and use it as a learning curve, and then improve myself in my approach to women. Now that I look back, I can admit that I was approaching it all wrong. That was my fault, not the females I was pursuing. After some self reflection I knew it was my approach that had to change. Once I changed my approached, and myself, I now have no issue if a woman rejects me and just take it as a sign that it wasn't meant to be and I move on.

The cure to depression is a strong mind and a strong will. The key to a strong mind and a strong will is learning from your mistakes and changing yourself for the better. If you aren't prepared to make the changes required, then you give depression every chance of existing. Yet if you make those changes with the right approach and attitude, then how can depression exist in your life ?

Baawaaha! 24?
Just wait till you're 42

Fun times

reply to post by 1ofthe9


I'm sorry, but you really may be the problem.

Yeah, the world stinks.

Do somethig about it.

You want a kinder and less dissolute world.

Be the change you want to see.

A good start is to stop the social anesthetic (alcohol). It clouds your judgement and makes you selfish.

Don't get drunk then you don't have to worry about saying really dumb things. I am 40 and have never been drunk and I am glad of that because it means I have gotten to watch a lot of drunks act like idiots. Not saying you are acting like an idiot.

The world is a rough place. Your life is most likely no worse or better than what anyone else has gone through and that is called growing up. You are 24 and when i was 24 I pretty much felt the same way. Keep going forward, figure out what healthy (not alcohol) thing helps you get better.

I am 40 and have never been drunk

lies....

freedomSlave
Seem that you are insecure beyond belief , maybe stop placing women on a pedestal and try talking to them as you would a friend or as a human being . Girls are not scary . Stop worrying about what everyone is thinking and just be yourself.

Its less about women honestly, and more with people in general. To make a long story really short, my trust in other people is pretty shattered. Emotional abuse seems to be a recurring theme in my life. Its pretty messed up.

DarksideOz
I have to be very careful how I word this, but this whole "depression" debate often leaves me scratching my head at how many people just don't seem to realise that everyone reacts differently to every situation. Some people might be suffering from 'depression', yet then just accept their situation and get on with life with the most positive attitude possible. Others, in the same situation, might let that 'depression' get to them more than it should, therefore making the situation seem worse than it actually is.

I am no expert on depression, but I am absolutely convinced that depression is a state of mind that each person chooses to enter. Some people are more dramatic than others, and in many cases what they may deem as depression, may actually be a state of mind.

Yes, I am aware that many cases of depression are genuine, but I'm sure we all know that person that claims to have depression, yet it is just a result of being over dramatic to a non dramatic issue. I know of quite a few younger people that act in a depressed state just because their internet or phone signal isn't working properly for half a day.

Not being able to find, or approach a girl can be depressing, but is it depression ? If you just give up and complain about your situation, then you are contributing to your 'depression'. Your state of mind has allowed depression to exist, whereas with a stronger will and a more positive attitude, does that depression exist ?

When I was your age I found it very hard to approach women. I had 2 options from that moment. The first option was to complain about my situation and then let it get me down to the point of depression, OR, I can cop it on the chin and use it as a learning curve, and then improve myself in my approach to women. Now that I look back, I can admit that I was approaching it all wrong. That was my fault, not the females I was pursuing. After some self reflection I knew it was my approach that had to change. Once I changed my approached, and myself, I now have no issue if a woman rejects me and just take it as a sign that it wasn't meant to be and I move on.

The cure to depression is a strong mind and a strong will. The key to a strong mind and a strong will is learning from your mistakes and changing yourself for the better. If you aren't prepared to make the changes required, then you give depression every chance of existing. Yet if you make those changes with the right approach and attitude, then how can depression exist in your life ?

I think you missed the point entirely.

DarksideOz
I have to be very careful how I word this, but this whole "depression" debate often leaves me scratching my head at how many people just don't seem to realise that everyone reacts differently to every situation. Some people might be suffering from 'depression', yet then just accept their situation and get on with life with the most positive attitude possible. Others, in the same situation, might let that 'depression' get to them more than it should, therefore making the situation seem worse than it actually is.

I am no expert on depression, but I am absolutely convinced that depression is a state of mind that each person chooses to enter. Some people are more dramatic than others, and in many cases what they may deem as depression, may actually be a state of mind.

Yes, I am aware that many cases of depression are genuine, but I'm sure we all know that person that claims to have depression, yet it is just a result of being over dramatic to a non dramatic issue. I know of quite a few younger people that act in a depressed state just because their internet or phone signal isn't working properly for half a day.

Not being able to find, or approach a girl can be depressing, but is it depression ? If you just give up and complain about your situation, then you are contributing to your 'depression'. Your state of mind has allowed depression to exist, whereas with a stronger will and a more positive attitude, does that depression exist ?

When I was your age I found it very hard to approach women. I had 2 options from that moment. The first option was to complain about my situation and then let it get me down to the point of depression, OR, I can cop it on the chin and use it as a learning curve, and then improve myself in my approach to women. Now that I look back, I can admit that I was approaching it all wrong. That was my fault, not the females I was pursuing. After some self reflection I knew it was my approach that had to change. Once I changed my approached, and myself, I now have no issue if a woman rejects me and just take it as a sign that it wasn't meant to be and I move on.

The cure to depression is a strong mind and a strong will. The key to a strong mind and a strong will is learning from your mistakes and changing yourself for the better. If you aren't prepared to make the changes required, then you give depression every chance of existing. Yet if you make those changes with the right approach and attitude, then how can depression exist in your life ?

I think you missed the point entirely.

reply to post by 1ofthe9


Well considering I was responding to a drunken rant, can you tell any of us what your point actually was ? At first it seemed like you were asking for advice, but then when offered perfectly logical advice, you say I miss the point.........what point are you making ?

Perhaps in future you should leave your drunken rants for Facebook where they belong ? This is a conspiracy site champ !

DarksideOz
reply to post by 1ofthe9

 

Well considering I was responding to a drunken rant, can you tell any of us what your point actually was ? At first it seemed like you were asking for advice, but then when offered perfectly logical advice, you say I miss the point.........what point are you making ?

Perhaps in future you should leave your drunken rants for Facebook where they belong ? This is a conspiracy site champ !

Edit: To hell with it. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.

To those who have been less than kind, please kind in mind that we are dealing with someone in extreme emotional pain that is reaching out. He deserves a little more respect than some have shown.

OP, hang in there.

reply to post by DarksideOz


There's the kind of depression where something goes wrong and after a short time you are able to get over it and get on with your life, and there is the kind of lasting depression that could be a chemical imbalance or because someone has been through too much for too long. As individuals we don't all react to things in the same way. I know for myself I used to always bounce back and be my vibrant happy go lucky self. After many, many years of things happening beyond my control and things getting worse instead of any better...I struggle.

Unless you go through this yourself where you have reached this point, I doubt you could truly understand.

calstorm
To those who have been less than kind, please kind in mind that we are dealing with someone in extreme emotional pain that is reaching out. He deserves a little more respect than some have shown.

OP, hang in there.

I whole heartedly agree! If you lack understanding or compassion, it is best not say anything at all, rather than make someone feel worse.

reply to post by 1ofthe9


What have your doctors said so far? Keep us posted on any results.

Night Star
reply to post by DarksideOz

 

There's the kind of depression where something goes wrong and after a short time you are able to get over it and get on with your life, and there is the kind of lasting depression that could be a chemical imbalance or because someone has been through too much for too long. As individuals we don't all react to things in the same way. I know for myself I used to always bounce back and be my vibrant happy go lucky self. After many, many years of things happening beyond my control and things getting worse instead of any better...I struggle.

Unless you go through this yourself where you have reached this point, I doubt you could truly understand.

I am aware that every situation and person is different. I even acknowledged that in my post, so I don't see why you are pointing this out to me ?

The OP was on about his troubles approaching a woman. He then hinted at suffering depression from this. If THAT is a reason for depression, then god help society in general. This is NOT a reason for depression no matter how different people may be. I offered some friendly advice which gets completely taken out of context [which is now a standard practice on ATS]. I then say if you don't want some friendly advice, then go have a sook somewhere else. If people are going to put up a sob story, and then reject friendly advice, then why have the sob story on a conspiracy site to begin with.

But the OP was just drunk, and typing before thinking. And somehow, that has now ended up coming back at me. Ahh ATS, you never cease to amaze me.

There are serious cases which lead to depression, which I acknowledged. But some of the reasons, or should I say excuses I have heard from people to justify their "depression" is pathetic at best. That is not depression, that is just a weak mind choosing to enter the state of depression.

But for you to suggest that I wouldn't know about depression, I ask you, who are you and WHAT do you REALLY know about me ?
Last year in the space of 3 months I lost my job for no reason, and lost my only brother very unexpectedly, and discovered his body. I didn't sit around sulking about my situation, I just accepted his death and looked for a new job. Yet despite losing a job in a town with little to no new job prospects, and lost my only brother and sibling, I did not ask for sympathy, nor did I seek it. But considering you asked , I thought I would just show you how little you know about me and how baseless your comment was !

For God sake, I coached a soccer team last year and had to deal with 17-18 year olds saying they were depressed because of the stress and pressures of the HSC [High School Certificate]. These kids have made the decision to allow the pressure to get to them, and then allowed the "depression" to control them. I had one 10 minute conversation with one of my players and after that chat it was like a new person had evolved in front of me. Not once after that discussion did he show any signs of pressure or depression. He just needed to be told that there are a LOT more serious issues in life to worry about, and you will eventually come across those problems. I said if you let the pressure of a school exam get to you, then how are you going to cope with a genuine serious issue. Basically all I told this kid was to harden up. He took the advice the right way and what do you know, no more depression. Yet what caused the depression to go away...............his decision to dismiss the need for depression. He made a choice, and that choice got rid of his depression. Just as he made the choice to enter into a state of depression to begin.
I don't think it was my advice or words that did it, he just needed someone to point out how trivial his cause for depression was, and then he did it all himself. This is the advice his parents should of been giving, not his soccer coach. Yet I guarantee you here and now it is those same parents that put most of the pressure on him to perform well in the exam.

ANd look at the the response from the guy who started theis thread. I asked him to explain what it was that he was actually getting at, as he seemed a bit confused by it himself. His response was basically 'don't worry about, I'm sick of this'. Well that's a great start to getting to the root of his problem. This guy wrote a drunken rant because he couldn't pick up that night, and then offers no support to those offering support. If this is a valid cause for depression, then someone shoot me now because the world has gone SOFT !

reply to post by DarksideOz


I apologize for offending you. I guess when you said, "I am no expert on depression, but I am absolutely convinced that depression is a state of mind that each person chooses to enter. Some people are more dramatic than others, and in many cases what they may deem as depression, may actually be a state of mind." I know that for myself and many others, we did not choose to enter into depression, are not being dramatic, and do not mistake our depression for anything else but what it is.

Though I myself haven't turned to drinking, nor do I recommend it to solve problems, I know some people seek it as a means of escape and hope they soon realize that it solves nothing. I just felt bad for the OP when some people seemed to lack compassion or felt he chose it for himself. I really am sorry that I offended you.
I am sorry too that you lost your brother and had to seek employment elsewhere.

DarksideOz
ANd look at the the response from the guy who started theis thread. I asked him to explain what it was that he was actually getting at, as he seemed a bit confused by it himself. His response was basically 'don't worry about, I'm sick of this'. Well that's a great start to getting to the root of his problem. This guy wrote a drunken rant because he couldn't pick up that night, and then offers no support to those offering support. If this is a valid cause for depression, then someone shoot me now because the world has gone SOFT !

I'm a hell of a lot harder than you think.

I've had to deal with this Kafkaesque maze of false accusations, *repeated* emotional abuse from women, and to top it all off as I found out this weekend: apparently I'm a mediocre looking white boy and sexually inferior to people of color ('muh white privilege) according to someone I formerly placed a great deal of trust in. Of course, they can't say this # to my face. Never mind the absolute bat# insanity I was lucky enough to witness at my university - you older folks really don't appreciate just how bat# insane liberal arts types have gotten on campus. I'm tired of dealing with these emotional parasites, and I'm so hyper-sensitive to 'red flags' I really can't connect with anyone anymore. I feel dead inside for gods sake, I've lost a lot of my ability to be empathic towards other people. I'm far, far, far colder than I was before. This insanity has changed me, and not for the better.

Seriously, if you've had to spend a year and more of your life dealing with this insanity, I think you'd be a little more prone to angrily venting while drinking as well.