I'm so jaded it isn't funny.

I'm 24 and I have an incredibly hard time willing myself to speak with women. I'm drunk, and well...yeah.

I have seen so much # in my life its rediculous. I used to be a far-left, Social Justice type...and I just can't do it any more.

Seriously. I'm watching myself be called ugly on tumblr by people I don't even speak to anymore and just...goddamn. I can't do this bull# anymore I just can't.

Why can't you talk to women?

That's why your so self righteous you haven't seen sh*t my friend.

reply to post by 1ofthe9


I used to refer to myself as The Jaded One. I was as jaded as they come and kept myself nice and safe in my little bubble with spikes on the outside. The one day someone came along on screwed all that up. Don't make my mistake and let that happen, stay strong and stay jaded. Realizing there are good and decent people out there kinda sucks. Totally ruins the whole bitter and jaded persona.

Seriously though, there are a lot of people who are idiots. Most people aren't worth your time, but there are some out there who are. Seek them out and forget the rest.

reply to post by 1ofthe9


Listen just don't overthink anything when you're talking to women, don't count or anything like that just do it. It's not like they're going to strangle you if you mess up in a conversation, if you fail to connect with the person just move on, no one likes to be rejected but it's always going to happen.

If you want real advice just listen to you're conscience, and act if you're willing to give it a shot with someone you meet.

reply to post by 1ofthe9


Maybe you have seen some crap. Maybe life's been a brass plated female dog, with rabies. The sort that hands out Ebola handshakes, and slobbers bubonic plague on your knee. The worlds full of spiteful, hateful morons, making life hard for good people in every quarter. Whether it's the gun toting local warlord, harassing innocent villagers, or the massive military machine that crushes all of them under drone launched missiles, or the douche that deals drugs to kids on the corner of a street in your nearest big city, or the crooked cop that kills the punk, jacks his stash, and continues to deal death to the innocent and foolish.

It's everywhere and it stinks. So sack up and change it, by taking power over the only thing in your life you have any control over what so ever. You. Pull yourself together, face existence, and HEADBUTT the sucker into compliance. Make it your day to turn at bay and confront these things with vigour, gusto. Enthusiastically sift the guts of this life for some glimmer of hope and grasp it. If you have access to the internet, are not dying, and are not in danger of tripping over a land mine while about the business of your day, do you REALLY have too much to complain about?

Just some food for thought. Chin up, eh what?

It's really hard not to be jaded these days for sure. I used to be an every cloud has a silver lining gal, but lately it is getting harder to find that lining. It's almost like the entire planet is in chaos, which in turn makes all of us and our families more chaotic.

I remember being around your age and that was when my world view started changing the most. It's usually an age where people really start understanding empathy, facing hardships on their own, plan on starting a family, and really truly leaving a lot of our childhood behind for good. You see the world in a more mature way, and that can take some getting used to. It's not the same world we looked at through a child's eyes IMO.

It does plane out if that is the case with you. Things stabalize somewhat and we trudge through until it becomes our "new" normal.

As far as talking to girls... just do it. Most women like a man to come up to them without that practiced, plastic, big man on campus confidence (at least I did at any rate). Being suave usually translates to "player" for a lot of women. It is genuiness that most appreciate.

And forget those folks on tumblr. People who talk like that about others are ugly themselves. Only their ugly on the inside usually makes them really ugly on the outside once folks get to know them. Somebody will always try to drag you down. Always. People usually act that way when they are jealous themselves. Maybe you are where they want to be. Maybe you make them ashamed of themselves by being a better person so they lash out and try to take you down to their level.

I hope things get better for you though. Some folks let the jaded side of themselves take over and they just wind up being terribly unpleasant to be around. Don't be that person.

*** I am not a licensed psychiatrist, or psychotherapist. Take any advice given as pure opinion and life experience talking. If your throat starts to swell shut or you have bouts of explosive diarrhea... consult a real life physician immediately.

edit on 3/29/2014 by Kangaruex4Ewe because: (no reason given)

lol pity party

Trust me at your age you have NOT seen everything yet .. best advice given to you in this thread is from TrueBrit he hits it on the spot as usual .
As to being able to talk to women relax and be confident .. strike up a conversation at worst you get turned down meh life goes on .

What are you passionate about? Hobbies? Interests?
Find some local meetup groups pertaining to these interests and join them. You will eventually meet some cool people and maybe a cool lady-friend too, that you have no problem talking too.

A close friend of mine moved several hours away to pursue a job/career.
He was unhappy for a number of years, settling into his new town. Hard to meet people.. He is an anti-social type. blah blah blah..
About 6 months ago, he decided to go to a local meetup pertaining to one of his interests. He now has several new close friends in the town that he's in.
I have had the pleasure of getting to know them when visiting him and now, they are my friends too! One of them ended up becoming his girlfriend.

reply to post by 1ofthe9


There's really nothing to worry about. Women really don't care what you say.. only that you're super hot and act disinterested. It's the vague promise of future abuse that attracts most of them. It's all deeply subconscious (pssst, they're looking for their dad). Nice guys don't finish at all. But it doesn't hurt to have lots of money. Money solves all women troubles no matter what you look like.

crucified
lol pity party

im drunk and I've honestly been seriously depressed for the last year and there is no sign of it relenting.

like its actually slowly eating me. Nothing I do or try changes that, and I'm even talking with active medical help. I'm quietly terrified that I'm actually cracking up.life is nothing but endless quiet terror anymore. I can't take pleasure in anything anymore, its just all numbness now.

DenyFlatulence
What are you passionate about? Hobbies? Interests?
Find some local meetup groups pertaining to these interests and join them. You will eventually meet some cool people and maybe a cool lady-friend too, that you have no problem talking too.

I can't leave my house anymore.

reply to post by 1ofthe9

I can't leave my house anymore.

House arrest or Agoraphobia?

Anyways, stop drinking! It's a depressant!!!

A man approaching a woman comes down to 2 things in my opinion.

1. Honesty. [Your true intentions for approaching her.]

2. Confidence. [In yourself, but knowing the difference between confidence and arrogance.]


I don't mean this in a rude way at all, but a woman knows within 2 minutes of meeting a guy as to whether or not she is interested in any relationship or romance. If you do anything wrong in that first 2 minutes, your chances are severally hindered. That's where confidence comes into it. Poor body language when approaching could rule you out before you even start. No conviction in your opening words could also hurt your chances.
But if it's any consolation, I'm 37 now and didn't realise what I'm telling you until I was about 29-30 years old. So you have a 5 year head start on me if you use my advice wisely Lol.
Don't stress too much about it, as the more you think about it, the more of a sub-conscious issue it will become. If it feels right, then approach her. If alcohol is involved then look twice, and then approach ?

Good luck.

reply to post by 1ofthe9


I sent you a u2u., I am off to be bed but if you need someone to talk to I am hear to listen. I can get back to you in the morning. Depression sucks. I know. I have dealt with situational depression before. It seems like it will never get better but it does.

1ofthe9

crucified
lol pity party

im drunk and I've honestly been seriously depressed for the last year and there is no sign of it relenting.

like its actually slowly eating me. Nothing I do or try changes that, and I'm even talking with active medical help. I'm quietly terrified that I'm actually cracking up.life is nothing but endless quiet terror anymore. I can't take pleasure in anything anymore, its just all numbness now.

Is the medical help from your primary care physician, psychologist or psychiatrist? At least you are seeking help and hopefully something will work out for you soon. I know people try to avoid meds, but for some people it makes a difference and they can carry on normally.

Night Star

1ofthe9

crucified
lol pity party

im drunk and I've honestly been seriously depressed for the last year and there is no sign of it relenting.

like its actually slowly eating me. Nothing I do or try changes that, and I'm even talking with active medical help. I'm quietly terrified that I'm actually cracking up.life is nothing but endless quiet terror anymore. I can't take pleasure in anything anymore, its just all numbness now.

Is the medical help from your primary care physician, psychologist or psychiatrist? At least you are seeking help and hopefully something will work out for you soon. I know people try to avoid meds, but for some people it makes a difference and they can carry on normally.

All of the above. At best I'm still just a shadow of what I know I could be.I just had to get off Remeron because it turned me into a paranoid mess. Now I can't keep a regular sleep cycle and its affecting my university stuff.

reply to post by 1ofthe9


Consider yourself lucky my friend, there are far worse consequences.

I can't talk to women and I went five years without a relationship or any form of intimacy, I have always always the weird, nerdy outcast that lingered in the background because I'm socially inadequate.

And don't be depressed that you've been called ugly, in this day in age it's common for men to feel ugly because of the ridiculous standards of attractiveness set by the media, I'm not exactly an Adonis but at least I can say that my physique was achieved through exercise, and not through Photoshop and excessive make up that these 'hunks' need to look pretty. Imagine how women feel about the subject.

And honestly you are too young to be jaded. I'm months away from my 30th and I'm already going grey from my experiences, being jaded and comfortably numb only contributes to ones dismay.

Thecakeisalie
reply to post by 1ofthe9

 

Consider yourself lucky my friend, there are far worse consequences.

I can't talk to women and I went five years without a relationship or any form of intimacy, I have always always the weird, nerdy outcast that lingered in the background because I'm socially inadequate.

And don't be depressed that you've been called ugly, in this day in age it's common for men to feel ugly because of the ridiculous standards of attractiveness set by the media, I'm not exactly an Adonis but at least I can say that my physique was achieved through exercise, and not through Photoshop and excessive make up that these 'hunks' need to look pretty. Imagine how women feel about the subject.

And honestly you are too young to be jaded. I'm months away from my 30th and I'm already going grey from my experiences, being jaded and comfortably numb only contributes to ones dismay.

Oh I know believe me. I had my family doctor wanting to give me ECT and put me into a care home. Instead I've been trying to.make something of myself as far away from my home province as I could go.

I've been called a lot worse then ugly. I just have a very low tolerance for people to talk # behind my back. Espically when they paint themselves as some kind of social justice crusader.