I'm so jaded it isn't funny.

ItCameFromOuterSpace


There's really nothing to worry about. Women really don't care what you say.. only that you're super hot and act disinterested. It's the vague promise of future abuse that attracts most of them. It's all deeply subconscious (pssst, they're looking for their dad). Nice guys don't finish at all. But it doesn't hurt to have lots of money. Money solves all women troubles no matter what you look like.

^^^ Come on, we are not all like that, just because you have met shallow women it doesn't mean we are all the same.
It's like when I hear women say all men are dogs, not true, they've just met the wrong ones.


1of9, a lifestyle change can help you stop the depression, I've seen it: stop the alcohol, start eating healthy, if you eat lots of sugar cut it down (not completely) and start exercising.....don't have to do too much, just brisk walking is enough. This will naturally increase your levels of serotonin and gradually make you feel better......I've seen this work, trust me.

And let me tell you something: the older you get, the less you will care what other people think......I don't care anymore, I am me, you either like me or dislike me and that's your problem, not mine...........remember that there are people out there that are just a perfect match for you, you just need to get out, change your scenery and make your life change happen!

Depression..its a killer
Of a social life, of a personal life, of a desire for life, and sometimes of a literal life.

But you seem like someone whom won't be taking the final option...so, might as well change it.
I am gonna assume you got a head doc to talk to for meds and general depression, and that's good.
End of the day, they make the bucks because its a real and needed thing..oh, and don't be to overwhelmed
by life, life may feel a mess at the moment, but it actually does change. trudge through university, put on mental armor
and get it done, then you will just naturally feel a bit more in control of your life (like control of anything, its up
to you where you want to drive it). Either way, you will shake it off in time...just do some goofy stuff for awhile that makes you happy though in the meantime. attend a science fiction convention..join a pool league..do something that sort of forces you to join some community just for yourself would be my advice.

reply to post by SaturnFX

Either way, you will shake it off in time...just do some goofy stuff for awhile that makes you happy though in the meantime. attend a science fiction convention..join a pool league..do something that sort of forces you to join some community just for yourself would be my advice.

I agree Legion, there are some pleasant distractions out there, but that's all they are...distractions.

When it comes to the crunch even the most compassionate bunch can be cruel. Try going to a LAN party and mention consoles...you may as well sit in a corner and adorn a dunce hat, social exclusion only adds to the depression.

That's where people who suffer from depression need positive reinforcement and need to draw confidence from their abilities, because society sure as hell won't give them that.

reply to post by Agartha


Take up a musical instrument. I can have a really crappy day, but when I get home and pick up my guitar I'm taken away.
Playing a musical instrument opens up a transcendent side of you... a side that's far beyond the 'human' experience.

reply to post by 1ofthe9


When you wake up, take the weekend to sober up, listen to some quiet music, clean yourself up and make sure you have some good clothes for Monday. On Monday, if you work, do what you have to do and then go somewhere that will let you volunteer your time for children. Talk to a child. Volunteer for the Big Brothers organization. Do something that involves the next generation of people, which are children.

Forget about women for the time being, you need to work on your disposition so your personality can more easily attract them. Talk to a child. If a man has to "work" to talk to a woman then his disposition is out of whack. I can think of no better way to "right the ship" than to see the world through the eyes of a child periodically.

When that works for you, and it probably will, then take TrueBrits advice and go full tilt with it. Once you commit yourself to the type of organization I pointed out though, keep with it. Be someone that a child looks forward to seeing and being with. There are too many of them out there who need a positive and mature presence in their life. You may not be able to talk to women, but who among us cannot talk to a child?

reply to post by 1ofthe9


Ok I'll pm you we can talk a little about this if you want.

crucified
lol pity party

lol grandiloquent megalomaniac

All of the above. At best I'm still just a shadow of what I know I could be.I just had to get off Remeron because it turned me into a paranoid mess. Now I can't keep a regular sleep cycle and its affecting my university stuff.

I too am a shadow of who I used to be and don't have regular sleep cycles, but I'm in my fifties. The thing with any meds is that you have to find the right prescription at the right dose. There is much trial and error. I have something for anxiety which helps but could use something for the depression. Those meds tend to make me too sleepy and out of it, especially when combined with other meds that are necessary like the ones for my high blood pressure, constant pain and nerve damage pain. I try to take just the high blood pressure and anxiety one, but often the pain is too much and I end up taking that one too.

I am glad that you are in the hands of professionals. For now, take one day at a time, try to find diversions from your depression. Maybe read a good book or watch some good movies. That helps.

RomeByFire

crucified
lol pity party

lol grandiloquent megalomaniac

Those replies do nothing to help this person. If you have no compassion, perhaps a different thread would be more to your satisfaction.

Agartha

ItCameFromOuterSpace


There's really nothing to worry about. Women really don't care what you say.. only that you're super hot and act disinterested. It's the vague promise of future abuse that attracts most of them. It's all deeply subconscious (pssst, they're looking for their dad). Nice guys don't finish at all. But it doesn't hurt to have lots of money. Money solves all women troubles no matter what you look like.

Come on, we are not all like that, just because you have met shallow women it doesn't mean we are all the same.
It's like when I hear women say all men are dogs, not true, they've just met the wrong ones.


1of9, a lifestyle change can help you stop the depression, I've seen it: stop the alcohol, start eating healthy, if you eat lots of sugar cut it down (not completely) and start exercising.....don't have to do too much, just brisk walking is enough. This will naturally increase your levels of serotonin and gradually make you feel better......I've seen this work, trust me.

I've suffered from depression, paranoia and anxiety in the past to the point where i thought i had bipolar and was cracking up. During all this I went through a really rubbish time with my ex and my son. I'm in a better place now but I can relate you what you are saying however people on here are right, YOU hold the key to your own happiness. I tend to recluse myself and go through a bad few months more so after new years until spring starts then im out walking with the dog etc and feel great!

I've stopped smoking, cut down caffeine, sugar, and alcohol, tried to approach people and situations a little better and Its working.

Still have bad days where i feel so ugly i cant leave my house, but overall it's a change in routine and mindset that has helped me. its different for everyone and i am by no means the happiest man alive but i found once i took ownership of my problems i started to dig myself out without meds and without councilling and ive been the way i was since about 11 im now 29

TrueBrit
reply to post by 1ofthe9

 

Maybe you have seen some crap. Maybe life's been a brass plated female dog, with rabies. The sort that hands out Ebola handshakes, and slobbers bubonic plague on your knee. The worlds full of spiteful, hateful morons, making life hard for good people in every quarter. Whether it's the gun toting local warlord, harassing innocent villagers, or the massive military machine that crushes all of them under drone launched missiles, or the douche that deals drugs to kids on the corner of a street in your nearest big city, or the crooked cop that kills the punk, jacks his stash, and continues to deal death to the innocent and foolish.

It's everywhere and it stinks. So sack up and change it, by taking power over the only thing in your life you have any control over what so ever. You. Pull yourself together, face existence, and HEADBUTT the sucker into compliance. Make it your day to turn at bay and confront these things with vigour, gusto. Enthusiastically sift the guts of this life for some glimmer of hope and grasp it. If you have access to the internet, are not dying, and are not in danger of tripping over a land mine while about the business of your day, do you REALLY have too much to complain about?

Just some food for thought. Chin up, eh what?

Indeed.
A subsequent reality based chin up outside of this, would pale the attempt. Nice then.

ColeYounger


Take up a musical instrument. I can have a really crappy day, but when I get home and pick up my guitar I'm taken away.
Playing a musical instrument opens up a transcendent side of you... a side that's far beyond the 'human' experience.

I agree, music is magic and can help change your mood.......you are lucky you can play an instrument, I wish I could.....but still, I play music all the time, all sorts and sing along and it does lift your spirits.

Scotscorps84


I've suffered from depression, paranoia and anxiety in the past to the point where i thought i had bipolar and was cracking up. During all this I went through a really rubbish time with my ex and my son. I'm in a better place now but I can relate you what you are saying however people on here are right, YOU hold the key to your own happiness. I tend to recluse myself and go through a bad few months more so after new years until spring starts then im out walking with the dog etc and feel great!

I've stopped smoking, cut down caffeine, sugar, and alcohol, tried to approach people and situations a little better and Its working.

Still have bad days where i feel so ugly i cant leave my house, but overall it's a change in routine and mindset that has helped me. its different for everyone and i am by no means the happiest man alive but i found once i took ownership of my problems i started to dig myself out without meds and without councilling and ive been the way i was since about 11 im now 29

Well done, Scots, you have come to realize that you are the only one who could make the change, the only one that could help yourself......and walking is great, I love walking and just by being able to walk by the beach or in a forest I feel blessed.....and happy.

Seem that you are insecure beyond belief , maybe stop placing women on a pedestal and try talking to them as you would a friend or as a human being . Girls are not scary . Stop worrying about what everyone is thinking and just be yourself.

reply to post by Agartha


Thanks but it's true and im ashamed that it took me a very long time to realise that i was causing more problems than I was solving. You make a good point about music though. I was always into really gritty hiphop and liked a lot of underground artists I used to listen alot and the moods of the tracks where either aggressive and violent or deep and depressing (it didnt help that i used to binge drink and chain smoke while listening) but i think that kind of music kept me down in the dumps and reinforced my negative feelings. Now i listen to alot of jazz or 80s music and I find myself happily cleaning.

There is a definite connection between music and moods

Scotscorps84
reply to post by Agartha

 

Thanks but it's true and im ashamed that it took me a very long time to realise that i was causing more problems than I was solving. You make a good point about music though. I was always into really gritty hiphop and liked a lot of underground artists I used to listen alot and the moods of the tracks where either aggressive and violent or deep and depressing (it didnt help that i used to binge drink and chain smoke while listening) but i think that kind of music kept me down in the dumps and reinforced my negative feelings. Now i listen to alot of jazz or 80s music and I find myself happily cleaning.

There is a definite connection between music and moods

You shouldn't feel ashamed, you should feel proud that you have made it....and that you can give some advice to others now based on your personal experiences. I agree with the music, the type of music you listen to is crucial.....funny how Bob Marley always cheers me up when I feel a little bit blue! lol

I think people need to realize that the little things in life make us happy.....it's not about the best car, the biggest house, that is all vain.....at the end of the day we die without our material possessions, but the memories we leave, live forever.

And feel proud, Scot cause you have achieved something amazing!!

Stop drinking. Go for a walk. Get some sleep.

Seek others who have found success in sobriety. Admit your problems, then solve them.

Life's too short.

reply to post by 1ofthe9

Youre not jaded...youre drunk. 1 step would be to sober up....and stay that way. Otherwise, nothing will change for you.

mysterioustranger
reply to post by 1ofthe9

 

Youre not jaded...youre drunk. 1 step would be to sober up....and stay that way. Otherwise, nothing will change for you.

I would argue that in moderation alcohol can be an enjoyable part of life. Ive never been an alcoholic in my opinion anyway. However I do know I have spent alot of dark times abusing alcohol and drinking too much and not being responsible. I stopped that but still enjoy trying craft beers or a cold lager after work, or a whisky and a pint at the pub in the winter among friends.

What do the other 8 have to say about it?

I would say that you have a lot of work to do fixing yourself before you worry about talking to girls. Until you feel good enough that your life feels like a worthwhile place to be, a girl is just going to add more anxiety to a place that just seems to be hard enough on you right now.

I'd say to sober up and maybe re-examine your world view a little bit. Try to find things that are good and expand on them. Find things to do that relate to those good things and make your life worthwhile, and no, alcohol cannot be one of those things - as someone said, it's a depressant.

You need to find a way to make a habit of finding the good in things before you start injecting your life into someone else's life.