I hate my life

Originally posted by OnTheFelt
reply to post by mossme89

 

I also wanted to add, that I think you are heads and tails above your peers. While they're out there paying attention to the Kardashians, jersey shore and latest tweet, you seem to see past the superficial. That in itself is half the battle!

edit on 2-12-2010 by OnTheFelt because: (no reason given)

One more thing- I highly agree with this guy.

reply to post by mossme89


"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
- Jiddu Krishnamurti

Take care.

Originally posted by Yissachar1
No

You GET to go to school
You GET to feel angst about that.

I have ZERO tollerance for people like you!

Let me tell you straight sunshine;

YOU ARE GOING TO DIE ANYWAY.

YOU.

YES YOU!

And if you wan't to whine your pathetic existence away until you die then do us all a favour and piss off!

Because there are people out there with less than you who do not GET to go to school and have the time to listen to emo music and even have some angst about it.

You are pathetic and weak. Make excuses for your weaknesses, and am not willing to grow..

Lets call it natural selection.

You learn't about THAT right?

Prove us wrong.

edit on 2-12-2010 by Yissachar1 because: (no reason given)

You're a tosser, f'sure.

Just remember you can get the same education as a college degree for free. Everything you learn in college you can lean for free with a library card. Some of the most intelligent people I have met never went to college at all..

Originally posted by SpaceJ
reply to post by Stormdancer777

 

found a job that allows me too to work at home. I also have panic attacks (and I'm autistic which is a whole nother can of worms) but the panic and sensory issues really prevent me from being able to function in your standard 9-5 job type deal.

Working from home, best. thing. ever.

It's interesting that a bunch of people in this thread have OCD, depression , or panic attacks/anxiety. I for one had severe panic attacks in college and was forced to drop out. They were induced by drugs and diet pills but they were debilitating for a year and a half. I could barely leave my room. Anyways things are much much better for me now, I still get daily anxiety but it's manageable.


If you don't mind me asking Space, what do you do at home? I'm still unemployed thinking about starting a business with my brother fixing phones, computers and game consoles. I seem to have a fixer type personality. (even when it comes to people which can be frustrating haha). I would def like to work at home and set my own schedule. I hate working for other people- there's just no motivation in helping someone else improve their business. I'm not motivated by money, except to pay the bills and my student loans i guess.

Originally posted by mossme89

Originally posted by rai76
reply to post by mossme89

 

I think you should see someone professional. If I read this I get afraid that you either do something to yourself or one day do some crazy act to hurt other people like take a gun to school or something like that. If at this ago you already feel worn out and look at the world like this, you should seek help immediately! Sorry this is my opinion.

Trust me, that's definitely NOT on my to-do list. I'm serious about that. Not gonna happen.

People who have never had to struggle with depression or anxiety, or OCD often label people who have it as crazy. As if they would go on a killing spree. That's ignorance at its best.

reply to post by mossme89


Ahh dont worry buddy, were in the same shoes
Im still in highschool too, and the realisation of all this stuff is quite daunting and i felt exactly like you at one point.
You need to look at things as if you are above the system, like you are looking down on it. Its absolutely great that you realise these things so take it to your advantage (play the system)
I know its soo bad that our job makes our status, we need to learn bio for whatever reason and a peice of paper determines our place in the community, but unfourtunetly thats the way its going to work for a while.
But take it to your advantage, at school study things that will enable you to take on humanitarian careers, so although you are a part of the system you are still putting it to good use and are able to do something good for everyone because im sure thats how you probably feel anyway.
And besides, sometimes its good to forget about it sometimes and just go out and have fun, otherwise it becomes a bit of a headfk.
Be happy that you can see things the way they are, they probably wont be like this for much longer anyway

reply to post by Whine Flu




I prefer wanker.

But I guess it takes one to know one huh?

Originally posted by mossme89
I'm so sick of going to school and learning about things that other people deem important, being indoctrinated. I only do it because i feel like i have to in order to do anything in society. Nowadays, you can't get a good job without a college degree. I'm still in HS btw. Plus, being in school gets me around people, which is really one of my only pleasures, socializing. But secretly, i resent the bureaucrats and elite who make me do this. Why should i have to learn Spanish to graduate? I feel helpless and powerless against this machine we call the system.

I think every day of why i'm this way. Why i'm able to see how messed up society is, and why i just can't seem to buy into a 9-5 job and schooling. Why i resent authority. Why I'm OCD and have a temper. Why I'm a bit of a loner, introvert yet am happiest around people (a bit of a paradox).

I'm rooting for the whole 2012 thing because frankly i can't stand it anymore. But the rational part of me tells me that nothing will really change. I don't know what will happen.

I keep trying to envision a society that i would like to be in, but think of a logical way to get from here to there (open, free society, abundant resources, free energy, live and let live approach, etc.) The world I'm in and the world i want to be in are 2 different worlds. Perhaps being 17 has something to do with it. i'm at that age where the identity crisis is at it's peak and i can see that. But i just get so down when i start to think about my future. With things the way things are now, i can't do anything without money. What i want is to be able to be free to do as i please (without harming anyone). To be able to travel and meet people. To be able to relax at the beach if i feel like it. To just have fun. Yet i can't do that in our current world without money.

I try to have fun with the little things in life, yet it's so hard when the world is so messed up. If I try to forget about what's going on in the world, and have a good time, i feel like i'm turning a blind eye to the world and feel guilty. If i mess up, i beat myself up and feel guilt for a while. With OCD, i get random thoughts sometimes, like unwanted, crude and disgusting thoughts. It's a dark side. I feel like such a bad person because i have these thoughts.

I'm not going to kill myself or anything, but i'm just so tired and worn out of everything. I'm posting this here because I'm hoping you guys can give me some advice. I don't think I'm mentally unstable, I'm just really depressed over how our world is. The nature of my depression is that of a more complex and philosophical nature, which is why i thought ATS would be a good place to post this.

edit on 2-12-2010 by mossme89 because: (no reason given)

edit on 2-12-2010 by mossme89 because: (no reason given)

Consider yourself lucky! All of our lives suck. We all have to deal with this. BUT...........at least your eyes are open. You see whats truly going on. Most don't. As for the OCD......stop looking at so many bad things. Think happy thoughts, watch a movie you like ....do someting for you and dont feel guilty about a world you cant cange.

Originally posted by CitizenOfEarth
After reading this original post and the following comments I feel two things. I empathize with you .....then I feel like I have been played. The emotions expressed by the Op are not those of a teenager. Then I looked at the registration of the Op on this site and I feel it is just an unhappy man posting his lamenting of a past lost. I applaud the intent of the post, but I feel that whomever posted this is a troll....Just my opinion....sorry to offend the beleivers.

This made me laugh. But seriously? This is kind of funny actually How can i prove it to you that i'm 17? Post a YouTube video, add you on facebook? You name it, and as long as it isn't absurd, i'll do it.

Originally posted by seedofchucky
reply to post by mossme89

 

"I'm not going to kill myself or anything, but i'm just so tired and worn out of everything. I'm posting this here because I'm hoping you guys can give me some advice. I don't think I'm mentally unstable, I'm just really depressed over how our world is. The nature of my depression is that of a more complex and philosophical nature, which is why i thought ATS would be a good place to post this."


Your missing passion . Thats the problem here . You havnt found your one thing that almost gives you a reason to live and thrive for etc. Everyone has differnt passions. and no its not just the help the world one lol. There are many differnt ones in differnt forms from the smalles weirds to the most complex things ever imagined. To many to list.

I don't think that's the problem. I feel exactly the same as the OP, but I've got a passion. In fact, I've got two. Music and art. It's quite off putting though. In the music world you basically need to be a 'sell-out' these days to get anywhere. With art, you need to be dead before you start making any decent money. Unless, again, you are a sell-out, and go for the BS that passes for "modern art".

Back to OP. I don't think you feel this way because of your age. I'm 26 and I feel the same as you. I think your age is on your side - most people your age are still sheeple and just go along with how they're told to live.

Just hang in there though - as I am doing. It can't stay like this for much longer. TPTB are backing themselves into a corner - making more and more enemies by the day. More and more people are "waking up" by the second. And while there might be a hell of lot more people who are still hypnotised by this materialistic world, the tipping point is coming. Once that happens, this new way of thinking will go viral.

Remember, this is the most important and exciting time in the history of mankind to be living in. To be able to witness the transition from one world into the next is a privilege.

The world needs a new operating system
www.youtube.com...

Regards, D

Originally posted by xkiax
Believe me I know how you feel cause I felt the same way. The older you get the better life gets. I don't get depressed about my problems. I wake up every day and think how lucky I am to have a roof over my head, indoor plumbing, nice clothes and hot meals. Society is messed up but you can't save the whole world. You have obstacles in your life that prevent you from doing what you really want. Focus on getting around them. As soon as you turn 18, don't head straight for college. Take a year off to decide what you want out of life. Get a job. Move out and rent. Go on a road trip and meet new people. Get a new perspective on life. Change your routine.

When I was your age, feeling really down, someone a lot older said to me, "17-25 is that age where you feel like you're having a crisis. Your friends are going somewhere in life while you feel as if you're going nowhere. And to make things worse you feel completely lonely. I hated that time of my life."

I totally agree with that quote. Yeah, i'm actually starting my first 2 years in community college before transferring. So a sort of in between.

Originally posted by Molan27
Just remember you can get the same education as a college degree for free. Everything you learn in college you can lean for free with a library card. Some of the most intelligent people I have met never went to college at all..

Sure that may be true, but what about a job? Most places won't accept people without a college degree. Like one other poster said, it's socially unacceptable to not go to college. I have an uncle who does not have a degree and works a blue collar job. He makes very little. He's furloughed 2 or so days a week. They're close to foreclosure and have a monumental amount of debt. I don't want to end up like him.

And to clarify, with education it's not so much learning it that bothers me, it's that i have grades that 'judge' me, at the teacher's discretion. I don't like how i'm judged to be as good, worse, or better as anyone else because of a silly grade that the teacher makes (often times with bias).

reply to post by mossme89


I used to feel like you when I was 17. You'll get over it eventually, but you'll probably be a cynical bastard like me. The only reason i'm going to university is because I enjoy learning, and I get opportunities there. People look at me strangely when I tell them I don't have a car, bike, phone, or any crap that people are brainwashed to buy. I've worn the same clothes for the past three years every single day. I used to have facebook when I was more "social", now I deleted it. It gets to a point where you can just see peoples bull #, they want to use you and bla bla bla.

My advice to you, is don't do what I did, don't screw your highschool education, try and get a good grade, then # off and do a gap year of sorts, but try to acquire more "life" experience through your own eyes of the world. Perhaps go travel alone, get a job (a means to an end) save up money and travel. Continue philosophising and you will find your own answers for your own problems, do not let other people force their beliefs on you. The world is a # hole, but it becomes even worse when you watch or read then news as it is always negative, I know, but really it gets to a point where you stop caring.

I'm not saying you should be a completely cold bastard, but you must try and force yourself to learn to becoming a bit more detached from the goings on of the world. I know it sounds hypocritical as i'm providing advice for what you should do, but i'm merely forming a base for your own philosophical exploration. The reason I tell you this, is although you will see people suffering and crying on the news, those same people have done bad things in their life, they do not deserve complete and total pity and empathy. We all do horrible things in our lives either indirectly or directly, and in the end it doesn't really matter, we are all the same in some manners. Everyone is selfish.

I know this sounds like a rant, but I'm just telling you a general idea of how I went through it. I was like you as I said, but I was originally more quiet, very empathetic, world matters depressed me, although quiet and cynical about communication I still enjoyed it. To this day I only retain one friend total (although making more friends is bloody easy, I choose not to) I mingled with both the violent crowd, the party crowd, the shy crowd, the geek crowd, and the nerd crowd. After the end of that period I mingled with the military crowd, the loner "crowd", and the lover "crowd". I believe you should experience things from the point of view of other people, to help you develop your philosophies so you do not feel as tired of your life as you are now. You might never be happy for longer than an hour, but you can be curious, and curiousity is what drives me.

(very long I know, bear with it)

I also have OCD, it used to be distressing, it used to cause me depression, but when I stopped "caring" about the consequences of not feeding my compulsions, they went away(i still retain two door-check compulsions, but that's it). Also an observation: Have you notice how the compulsions only develop when an action perform has been performed repeatedly before? For example, if you move into a new house, you will notice your OCD compulsions are far less than before, because it is a new environment and the actions you do are not exactly as the ones of where you lived before. Just my observations.

What you wrote here is a reflection of my life, and yes you can dream of a better place. In this world find that little niche, play the game somewhat and do away with the guilt, for we can only do what we can do. I like you am going through this, but I have been doing it since 1939 lol. I taught school for 32 years and at no time did I fit the role, I was and still am an outsider. Put your feelings out there, you will still be an introvert/loner but can help others. My biggest reward after these many years is having a man or woman come up to me, shake my hand and thank me for standing by them. These many misfits, my students, many grandparents now, good people were my charge, to convince them they were really ok, whatever they were. Some come to me as mechanics, junk yard workers and more, but all good people. Use your wisdom, you can make a difference.

Originally posted by mossme89
Sure that may be true, but what about a job? Most places won't accept people without a college degree. Like one other poster said, it's socially unacceptable to not go to college. I have an uncle who does not have a degree and works a blue collar job. He makes very little. He's furloughed 2 or so days a week. They're close to foreclosure and have a monumental amount of debt. I don't want to end up like him.

that's not necessarily so, a trade skill job is blue-collar also, like carpentry, auto mechanics, hvac techs, electricians ect... all of which make well of enough living. I thought I read you were 27 so I must state to you the one thing you will not want to do without and that is a trade skill, you do not want to bank on working from home least your parents already have enough money to pave your way thru the life of the norm. When I look back I know the one thing I could have not done without is my skill which has turned into an investment. You have the best type of independence with a trade because you can go anywhere you want really, still make a $1000 greenbacks a week, never even having to bring a resume or wait with the herds of suits for a job. Being a trades person you are your own boss too even if you are working for someone else... you have the skill and can change jobs like underwear.

at 17 you need a skill period...

Originally posted by mossme89
I keep trying to envision a society that i would like to be in, but think of a logical way to get from here to there (open, free society, abundant resources, free energy, live and let live approach, etc.)

Ah yes, Utopia. wouldn't that be nice. Here is how it works in this world. You have to make it fit for you. Yea, you have to go to school. And right now you will laugh at me, but 20 years from now you will think about how this was the best time in your life. NO responsibility, NO real worries. Life can be wonderful, or it can suck. It's all up to YOU. You are the bus driver. Do things that make you happy. Don't wake up with regrets about yesterday. If you do, you can only blame you. One day, when you are looking down at your first child on the day of their birth, it will all make sense. But chose to enjoy it.

Originally posted by Stormdancer777
reply to post by PeasantRebellion

 

the American Dream is a fairytale

Well I never achieved the American dream, whatever that is, I am sixty years old now, we still live paycheck to paycheck, we been homeless, unemployed, without heat or electric, yada yada, but there is more to life then food and creature comforts, yes, I get down and depressed, but, you gain appreciation for the little things in life like a roof over your head and food on the table. Everything else like the internet is a luxury.

Struggle is nothing new to me, many people are now struggling that maybe have never before, get tough, get going.

What is this, the new Attention Seeking Missile prototype? Good for you. Get your own thread to toot your horn in.

Man Stay in School! Believe it or not school is going to be the easiest job you will ever have. Put you whole mind to it and find a subject you love. Study it better, and harder than anyone else. Also, find a job ...like a hobby say woodworking. If you really get into it and have fun doing it, it will not appear to your mind as fun-work and you will never have to work another day in your life. Myself, I turn wood into bowls, platters, vases, urns and whatever the wood will let me do to it. It is not work to me because I enjoy it so much, I can't wait to start another project. Keep your chin up and don't do anything stupid because it will all work out. Pun intended

Originally posted by Yissachar1
reply to post by Whine Flu

 

I prefer wanker.

But I guess it takes one to know one huh?

Nurrrrrrrgh

Hate is a strong word my friend plz dont use it. Stay away from negativity and you will no longer dislike your life. You have a mind that has already surpassed the programming you were born to receive and accept. Your soul refuses to assimilate into the hive. You are a soldier of an upcoming war on your liberty. Violence is not the answer but some form of action must be taken.

Educate yourself and learn of the world around you. Prepare yourself for what is to come and you can see it all around you happening; just look. Its ok to feel that way, you are not alone; by a long shot. But do not become an outcast. Blend in and " do as others but think as you do". peace

Originally posted by mossme89
I'm so sick of going to school and learning about things that other people deem important, being indoctrinated. I only do it because i feel like i have to in order to do anything in society. Nowadays, you can't get a good job without a college degree. I'm still in HS btw. Plus, being in school gets me around people, which is really one of my only pleasures, socializing. But secretly, i resent the bureaucrats and elite who make me do this. Why should i have to learn Spanish to graduate? I feel helpless and powerless against this machine we call the system.

I think every day of why i'm this way. Why i'm able to see how messed up society is, and why i just can't seem to buy into a 9-5 job and schooling. Why i resent authority. Why I'm OCD and have a temper. Why I'm a bit of a loner, introvert yet am happiest around people (a bit of a paradox).

I'm rooting for the whole 2012 thing because frankly i can't stand it anymore. But the rational part of me tells me that nothing will really change. I don't know what will happen.

I keep trying to envision a society that i would like to be in, but think of a logical way to get from here to there (open, free society, abundant resources, free energy, live and let live approach, etc.) The world I'm in and the world i want to be in are 2 different worlds. Perhaps being 17 has something to do with it. i'm at that age where the identity crisis is at it's peak and i can see that. But i just get so down when i start to think about my future. With things the way things are now, i can't do anything without money. What i want is to be able to be free to do as i please (without harming anyone). To be able to travel and meet people. To be able to relax at the beach if i feel like it. To just have fun. Yet i can't do that in our current world without money.

I try to have fun with the little things in life, yet it's so hard when the world is so messed up. If I try to forget about what's going on in the world, and have a good time, i feel like i'm turning a blind eye to the world and feel guilty. If i mess up, i beat myself up and feel guilt for a while. With OCD, i get random thoughts sometimes, like unwanted, crude and disgusting thoughts. It's a dark side. I feel like such a bad person because i have these thoughts.

I'm not going to kill myself or anything, but i'm just so tired and worn out of everything. I'm posting this here because I'm hoping you guys can give me some advice. I don't think I'm mentally unstable, I'm just really depressed over how our world is. The nature of my depression is that of a more complex and philosophical nature, which is why i thought ATS would be a good place to post this.

edit on 2-12-2010 by mossme89 because: (no reason given)

edit on 2-12-2010 by mossme89 because: (no reason given)