Gaslighting - What does bedroom activity have to do with work?

originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: DBCowboy

originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: CoyoteAngels
a reply to: Annee

Id appreciate it if you would not use value judgements in regards to my 'focus', i.e. ,'wrong'.

You or anyone who sees a gay person and immediate focus goes to bedroom is CHOOSING that focus.

The gay person is not choosing it. You are.

People have families, careers, degrees, talents, hobbies.

And why do we need to know about bedroom stuff?

And who’s putting the focus there?

The gay people who always want everyone to know they're gay.

The rest of us could care less.

I don't post about secksie time with the wife daily, that would be gross and inappropriate.

But the gay folks have to put everything out there and be considered and judged BASED on what they do.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: Halfswede

This is exactly why we can’t erase history.

At one time that bedroom activity was enough that you couldn’t join the military, totally disqualified.
They it was don’t ask, don’t tell.

Let me tell you, even though they said that, you can’t beat it into the military for decades that it wasn’t ok then one day flip.

Unfortunately for many gay/lesbian people they have been discriminated in the workplace. Perhaps, they didn’t get promoted just because their boss found out they had a same sexed husband/wife.

Maybe we are getting closer to point where it doesn’t matter, and that is great.

Aaaaaaand this is why women should have just stayed in the kitchen.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Aaaaaaand this is why women should have just stayed in the kitchen.

Because that way the truth wouldn’t be told and remembered?

originally posted by: Annee

You or anyone who sees a gay person and immediate focus goes to bedroom is CHOOSING that focus.

The gay person is not choosing it. You are.

People have families, careers, degrees, talents, hobbies.

So what is the issue then? I was in Sidney for 2 weeks of the Gay Pride month and it was 99.9% about sexuality. Every business better had had the rainbow flag or they would have been canx. Even ones that made zero sense had it out front like days of old with the red background with a black swastika on a white disc flag. The sexuality was almost stifling as 100,000s felt the need to flaunt it every second of the day like they just came out 10 minutes ago back in San Fran of the 80s.

You need to accept that the main pushback has had zero to do with equality for LGBTQIA+ since we have been there a good while now, look at the military to prove my point, and more about a never-ending push to suggest LGBTQIA+ and hypersexuality is actually the majority and the new dominate social norms, and not just a big pile of Fetishes and Kinks mostly.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: DBCowboy

Aaaaaaand this is why women should have just stayed in the kitchen.

Because that way the truth wouldn’t be told and remembered?

Blah blah blah.

History is full of bad decisions and cultural norms of the times.

Case in point, my remark about women.

Should we start paying reparations for the gals because some ancestor didn't let her vote?

originally posted by: Xtrozero

originally posted by: Annee

You or anyone who sees a gay person and immediate focus goes to bedroom is CHOOSING that focus.

The gay person is not choosing it. You are.

People have families, careers, degrees, talents, hobbies.

So what is the issue then? I was in Sidney for 2 weeks of the Gay Pride month and it was 99.9% about sexuality. Every business better had had the rainbow flag or they would have been canx. Even ones that made zero sense had it out front like days of old with the red background with a black swastika on a white disc flag. The sexuality was almost stifling as 100,000s felt the need to flaunt it every second of the day like they just came out 10 minutes ago back in San Fran of the 80s.

You need to accept that the main pushback has had zero to do with equality for LGBTQIA+ since we have been there a good while now, look at the military to prove my point, and more about a never-ending push to suggest LGBTQIA+ and hypersexuality is actually the majority and the new dominate social norms, and not just a big pile of Fetishes and Kinks mostly.

Look at their pics of their mardi gras and tell me how it differs from the other mardi gras?

www.mardigras.org.au...

www.outtraveler.com...

What about women going topless for a neckless or topless women wrestling. No sex here.

originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: CoyoteAngels
a reply to: Annee

Being that the only difference is what a person does in the bedroom, why is there any discrimination about it at all?

People don't need to know about what goes on in anyone else's.

Its called privacy. Keep your business in your bedroom and nobody has a problem! Viola

Your focus is wrong. A focus you are choosing.

That’s really not the issue.

Do you think those that are of the LGGTQ discriminated minority’s main focus is the bedroom?

Do you think those that are of the heterosexual orientation’s main focus is the bedroom?

In an ideal world, a company should not even know what your real name or age is, or even if you are a man or a woman.

The company should just receive a randomly created ID# with your credentials and job experience.

I bet if we did just that, and only that, we'd be happily surprised at the team we've assembled.

originally posted by: DBCowboy

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: DBCowboy

Aaaaaaand this is why women should have just stayed in the kitchen.

Because that way the truth wouldn’t be told and remembered?

Blah blah blah.

History is full of bad decisions and cultural norms of the times.

Case in point, my remark about women.

Should we start paying reparations for the gals because some ancestor didn't let her vote?

I pointed out some history that maybe people on here don’t remember or are too young.
There was a time when people were discriminated and outright denied jobs just because of their bedroom behavior.
Maybe some of the people in these jobs were those people. Yes at some point we move past and let it go.
What is that time frame? 10 years, 20, 50?
Maybe you are ready, maybe they aren’t.

Yes history is full of mistakes, let’s not repeat them.

As to the OP, if he doesn’t like it, he can get another job, or created his own company that doesn’t “celebrate” things like that.
He might be job hopping for a while.

a reply to: Annee

I see nothing wrong with someone saying they have a preference. If they become a respected employee, others might do so out of respectful courtesy.

This is the reason. You don't see anything wrong, while most do. It is work, not private. People go there to earn money, they do not go there to listen to your sexual preferences. Hell I don't even have a functioning filter for things like this but I am aware about it and manage to get by being bisexual without rubbing it under everyone elses nose or choosing colors or clothes that signal this. And actually the only time I tell this is here on ATS threads like this, to undo the damage people like you did and still do.

The second reason is that you expect the normal (yes, you and me, we are not the norm! We are not special because we are out of norm either) people to be informed about the bubble you life in. If they are not, they somehow must be bigot. If you try to explain and they don't want to hear (see reason 1), then it's discrimination.

Change doesn’t happen overnight.

Indeed. Someone can gradually slip into their world and loose reference about the rest of the world. Wake up! You and others with your mindset doing active harm. Everything people like I have built up in reputation, silently gaining respect and leading by example, people like you come around and trample it into the ground with your eager demands.

Think about it for a second, what works better? Leading by example or forcing it down the throats of others?

originally posted by: JAGStorm


As to the OP, if he doesn’t like it, he can get another job, or created his own company that doesn’t “celebrate” things like that.
He might be job hopping for a while.

Yeah, you're right. All businesses can and should celebrate what people do in their bedrooms because that's an important job qualification, . . . . . . . . . for prostitutes, people making porn, sex traffickers, etc.

originally posted by: quintessentone

originally posted by: dandandat2

originally posted by: Annee
I’d say it’s far more about equal rights and acceptance in a workplace and society.

What “polite society “ forced to the fringes, and legally denied rights of livelihood just for being who they are needed to be corrected and recognized.

Same with the disabled, skin color, etc.

It’s not about the bedroom. That’s a cop out.

As a disabled person; the last thing I want to be "recognized" for at work is my disability. I want to be "recognized" for my hard work, talent and dedication.... not my disability.

I know I have a disability; it hinders my ability to preform my work, talent and dedication; I don't need to be reminded of it at corporate events. And I don't want to be boiled down to that guy who "does a good job even though he is disabled".

It's great that corporations and the "majority" folk are being more inclusive... but sometimes I think you all are going about it wrong. As if its more about you and your willingness to be inclusive than it is about the people you are finally accepting.

The way I see it if your disability or identity, which can include anything and everything with anybody, is within an inclusive environment then there is the expectation that that environment will also be accommodating to you so you can actually flourish to do your best work in that environment.

Unfortunately that is not always the case.

It's much easier to pay diversity lip service than actually accommodating people. Far to often corporations and businesses do the bare minimum of work to appear that they are inclusive than actually being inclusive.

originally posted by: dandandat2

originally posted by: quintessentone

originally posted by: dandandat2

originally posted by: Annee
I’d say it’s far more about equal rights and acceptance in a workplace and society.

What “polite society “ forced to the fringes, and legally denied rights of livelihood just for being who they are needed to be corrected and recognized.

Same with the disabled, skin color, etc.

It’s not about the bedroom. That’s a cop out.

As a disabled person; the last thing I want to be "recognized" for at work is my disability. I want to be "recognized" for my hard work, talent and dedication.... not my disability.

I know I have a disability; it hinders my ability to preform my work, talent and dedication; I don't need to be reminded of it at corporate events. And I don't want to be boiled down to that guy who "does a good job even though he is disabled".

It's great that corporations and the "majority" folk are being more inclusive... but sometimes I think you all are going about it wrong. As if its more about you and your willingness to be inclusive than it is about the people you are finally accepting.

The way I see it if your disability or identity, which can include anything and everything with anybody, is within an inclusive environment then there is the expectation that that environment will also be accommodating to you so you can actually flourish to do your best work in that environment.

Unfortunately that is not always the case.

It's much easier to pay diversity lip service than actually accommodating people. Far to often corporations and businesses do the bare minimum of work to appear that they are inclusive than actually being inclusive.

True, but from my working experience in many many different environments most do try to accommodate people and from I am seeing lately it is within H.R. hiring and work practices.

As for the OPs claim that LGBTQ people blurt out their bedroom sexual preferences during a job interview or all the time, that's just malarky. Now, let's go to that particular bigoted job interviewers' mind and try to figure out what's going on in there for a change.

originally posted by: DBCowboy

originally posted by: JAGStorm


As to the OP, if he doesn’t like it, he can get another job, or created his own company that doesn’t “celebrate” things like that.
He might be job hopping for a while.

Yeah, you're right. All businesses can and should celebrate what people do in their bedrooms because that's an important job qualification, . . . . . . . . . for prostitutes, people making porn, sex traffickers, etc.

YOUR focus is in their bedroom.

Their focus is on equal/legal rights, free to be, career, family, etc.

a reply to: Annee

I guess it went over your head that I cannot tell on sight anything at all about a persons sexual orientation UNLESS they make it obvious.

So how can it possibly be MY focus?

I don;t care. Keep it private. Like my story, nothing wrong with the lesbian saying 'my wife'.... the offensive part was her lewd gesture and sexual innuendo.

a reply to: Annee

If they are ALREADY being afforded equal rights, i.e. a JOB working with others, you know, inclusion, then why are equal rights on the job their focus?

originally posted by: EmmanuelGoldstein

originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: CoyoteAngels
a reply to: Annee

Being that the only difference is what a person does in the bedroom, why is there any discrimination about it at all?

People don't need to know about what goes on in anyone else's.

Its called privacy. Keep your business in your bedroom and nobody has a problem! Viola

Your focus is wrong. A focus you are choosing.

That’s really not the issue.

Do you think those that are of the LGGTQ discriminated minority’s main focus is the bedroom?

Do you think those that are of the heterosexual orientation’s main focus is the bedroom?

In an ideal world, a company should not even know what your real name or age is, or even if you are a man or a woman.

The company should just receive a randomly created ID# with your credentials and job experience.

I bet if we did just that, and only that, we'd be happily surprised at the team we've assembled.

Sounds good for a robot.

Not sure how that would work with diverse humans.

Incompatibility in a work environment is a real thing.

originally posted by: CoyoteAngels
a reply to: Annee

If they are ALREADY being afforded equal rights, i.e. a JOB working with others, you know, inclusion, then why are equal rights on the job their focus?

What’s on paper doesn’t always translate to the real world.

Human factor.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I dont remember a time in the past where people made their bedroom behavior everyone else's business.

That is what has changed.

originally posted by: CoyoteAngels
a reply to: Annee

I don;t care. Keep it private. Like my story, nothing wrong with the lesbian saying 'my wife'.... the offensive part was her lewd gesture and sexual innuendo.

OMG — like heteros don’t do stuff like that.

As a woman of the 60s — sexual references/innuendos were like swatting flies.

I suppose your response would be the same if some guy was talking about a woman.

originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: CoyoteAngels
a reply to: Annee

I don;t care. Keep it private. Like my story, nothing wrong with the lesbian saying 'my wife'.... the offensive part was her lewd gesture and sexual innuendo.

OMG — like heteros don’t do stuff like that.

As a woman of the 60s — sexual references/innuendos were like swatting flies.

I suppose your response would be the same if some guy was talking about a woman.

Heteros do and in one of my previous jobs a hetero female co-worker felt it her duty to perform a 'jacking off' motion and pointing to another woman and the boss, what was going on between them. I don't want to know. I don't care. I considered it offensive and lewd behaviour. Not to mention what the hetero men did.