I have accepted I will be single the rest of my days

originally posted by: ancientlight

originally posted by: Elvicious1
You'll never find Mr./Ms. Right until you stop looking. It's life's way of making sure the right one comes along.

How do you know this even, just something you're parroting? Honestly, I've heard this soooo many times , I think it's something someone in 'a relationships' says to singles to make themselves feel better.

Sour grapes? No. I didn't grow up with my mother and father so I was always striving for attention. Having a relationship made me feel wanted and I thought that was filling the void and something that made me normal. Having the 2 mother's of my children (never married, we weren't in a hurry both times) cheat on me brought me to a point where I downright hated women. Having a mother abandon you and be only 200 miles a way will do that to you and having the 2 (what you thought) major family relationships with the exes fail will cement the thought process. Especially when you grow up on the street. I can read a person's life story 10 seconds after I see their face. There really aren't that many nice people in the world. Everybody wants something from someone else. Love and Compassion and Selflessness are rare commodities....So. I went without for a couple of years and then who should come bouncing down the line when I was perfectly happy being alone? Ms. Right. I was in no way wanting, needing or looking forward to another relationship and I actually fought it as long as I could. Alas, to no avail I realized we were perfect for each other and what a shame we hadn't met before I had my first child because the woman I am with is perfect. Don't get me wrong, we all have our faults, but she is the other half of me. Literally. I am yang, she is yin. We don't even have that much in common, either, other than she didn't know her parents either, which I didn't find out until well after I met her. So yeah. I speak from vast, deep experience. We knew each other for 10 years. We lived with each other for 9 of those years and have been married for another 10. Total, 20 yeats. I feel it's safe to say I know what I'm talking about and not a "parrot". But whatever. Think what you like. I'm in Heaven.maybe you can be current and not carry that ancient light.

Hey, I felt the same way for a long time. All I ever got was off and on again relationships with a couple women who treated me like #. I finally gave up and tried too accept being single never really took, but when i stopped looking so hard, an amazing woman came into my life. She's the best and she builds me up instead of tearing me down. I truly believe the right person is out there for everyone, sometimes you just have too stop looking and they'll come to you.

a reply to: ancientlight

Thank you

The only advice I can offer is "get out there and have fun"

You said you have social anxiety?
When I read that it reminded me of a post I saw on a local facebook group recently. A woman posted that she had social anxiety and was wondering if there were other woman with the same issue who wanted to hang out, make new friends that understood each other and be social together.
The amount of response she got was amazing!

you are not alone

I know you said you didn't want to hear "love yourself before others can." It takes more than self love, any psychopath can do that. "You have to love to be loved." If you see someone in distress, help them in any way you can (flat tire, dollar short, ect.). You will not only build a connection with that person but also build a connection within their immediate circle and every person they ever tell. A secondary benefit; it adds to the story of your life as an act of selflessness, kindness, and ultimately love. Then when you speak in a way that expresses your love for life it is a lot easier for someone to let their gaurd down and love you because the chances of reciprocation are increased.

"Alone" and "Lonely" is a state of mind. Many people are alone, even when surrounded by people. And in many cases "alone" when surrounded by people that love them.

Buy the ticket, take the ride...

a reply to: ancientlight

I felt this way once, then I met someone and remembered why I prefer being single. Now I'm content being single again.

originally posted by: KindraLabelle2
The only advice I can offer is "get out there and have fun"

You said you have social anxiety?
When I read that it reminded me of a post I saw on a local facebook group recently. A woman posted that she had social anxiety and was wondering if there were other woman with the same issue who wanted to hang out, make new friends that understood each other and be social together.
The amount of response she got was amazing!

you are not alone

Thanks, I found some other meet groups (other than meetup.com) and will look for social anxiety groups.
The problem is too that I don't have enough female friends as I moved here from Europe ,most are in Europe.
I have met some women here over the years, most I just talk to once in a while, and one friend (she is Dutch as well, but is married with three kids so no time ).

originally posted by: jidnum
a reply to: ancientlight

I felt this way once, then I met someone and remembered why I prefer being single. Now I'm content being single again.

Honestly, I don't think relationships are all that. I never want to live with someone , or god forbid get married, but just something more than friends is nice. Definitely need my own space and lots of alone time.
The problem is there is nothing in between it seems, I guess FWB comes close , but that's not for me.

originally posted by: visitedbythem
a reply to: ancientlight

End of next week. Ill see you soon Hon. I will have lots of time to play then. I threw pics up of me just for you. I just thought it would help. I saw you were in despair. We will have some fun. Im depending on you to teach me in there Hon. Im old school and will take some time to get my footing. Ill call my grandson to get some instructions, He is 8. He is a pretty smart kid, especially with computers. Cya soon!

Umm okay

originally posted by: yuppa

originally posted by: ancientlight

originally posted by: yuppa
a reply to: ancientlight

well are you average looking for a female? You should try for older people because they are more open because they been there done that and got the t shirt. I been single 43 yrs so far. I have someone Im interested in but shes married,and i wont screw up her happiness,not after i saved her arse from suicide.

I myself look average. im 5'5-to 5'7,and cannot walk long distances without something to hold onto.wear glasses too.

I would say yes , average. But off course most days I feel I just must look like a troll or something as I feel so invisible.
Probably doesn't help that I'm getting older ( I will be 50) , though everyone I have talked to in my life gives me more than a decade younger

How come your height varies ?!

well my height is a guesstimate lol. I cant remember what it actually is. And well since you look younger than what yo are,why not try and get soem younger guys to fool around with since they love cougars these days. They usually are not looking for serious relationships at that age. If ya ever down in SC message me and we can see if we can hang out whiles ya down.

Oke because you had more than 2 inch difference, that's not a guesstimate, that's off
I don't do FWB

a reply to: rickymouse

Sometime in the near future I'll ask you to share the diet. I remember you saying something about it fitting only your genetic anomaly but anyway.

originally posted by: ancientlight

Thanks, I found some other meet groups (other than meetup.com) and will look for social anxiety groups.
The problem is too that I don't have enough female friends as I moved here from Europe ,most are in Europe.
I have met some women here over the years, most I just talk to once in a while, and one friend (she is Dutch as well, but is married with three kids so no time ).

Yeah, that's what having kids does.... I don't have real female friends besides family member. Lost them after I got my kids and didn't have much free time anymore.

Just get out there, go to places you like and do things you enjoy... je weet maar nooit wat er in een namiddag kan gebeuren! I guess you know that we Dutch people come across as very straight forward.

How long ago did you leave Europe?

originally posted by: KindraLabelle2

originally posted by: ancientlight

Thanks, I found some other meet groups (other than meetup.com) and will look for social anxiety groups.
The problem is too that I don't have enough female friends as I moved here from Europe ,most are in Europe.
I have met some women here over the years, most I just talk to once in a while, and one friend (she is Dutch as well, but is married with three kids so no time ).

Yeah, that's what having kids does.... I don't have real female friends besides family member. Lost them after I got my kids and didn't have much free time anymore.

Just get out there, go to places you like and do things you enjoy... je weet maar nooit wat er in een namiddag kan gebeuren!

I guess you know that we Dutch people come across as very straight forward.

How long ago did you leave Europe?

Ohhh wat leuk , je bent Nederlands! Ja nou zie ik lokatie in Europa
I am friends still with my Dutch friend here (who has three kids), and I'm open to doing fun things with her, but leave it up to her mostly. It's sad that you lost friends because of it . I have been living in Florida 20 years now

originally posted by: GRIZZ1044
Hey, I felt the same way for a long time. All I ever got was off and on again relationships with a couple women who treated me like #. I finally gave up and tried too accept being single never really took, but when i stopped looking so hard, an amazing woman came into my life. She's the best and she builds me up instead of tearing me down. I truly believe the right person is out there for everyone, sometimes you just have too stop looking and they'll come to you.

Congratulations. There is no other feeling like what you and I have experienced. Wishing you a long and fulfilling relationship.

originally posted by: Elvicious1

originally posted by: GRIZZ1044
Hey, I felt the same way for a long time. All I ever got was off and on again relationships with a couple women who treated me like #. I finally gave up and tried too accept being single never really took, but when i stopped looking so hard, an amazing woman came into my life. She's the best and she builds me up instead of tearing me down. I truly believe the right person is out there for everyone, sometimes you just have too stop looking and they'll come to you.

Congratulations. There is no other feeling like what you and I have experienced. Wishing you a long and fulfilling relationship.

Hollymolly, have you even read the title to my thread? I have accepted being single the rest of my days, that's why this thread. It's not 100% ideal, but I am there too now, but was feeling in the mood for a hug because I'm not a statue.
Now I'm actively working on accepting I'll never get that type of hug again. No biggie , I'm used to not be touched , so this shouldn't be hard

originally posted by: ancientlight

originally posted by: visitedbythem
a reply to: ancientlight

End of next week. Ill see you soon Hon. I will have lots of time to play then. I threw pics up of me just for you. I just thought it would help. I saw you were in despair. We will have some fun. Im depending on you to teach me in there Hon. Im old school and will take some time to get my footing. Ill call my grandson to get some instructions, He is 8. He is a pretty smart kid, especially with computers. Cya soon!

Umm okay

Actually, we should just play Roblox some time , why not
You seem kind , and it's just a silly game.

a reply to: Elvicious1
Thank you, you as well. It's quite the culture shock though I must say. lol

originally posted by: ancientlight

originally posted by: Elvicious1

originally posted by: GRIZZ1044
Hey, I felt the same way for a long time. All I ever got was off and on again relationships with a couple women who treated me like #. I finally gave up and tried too accept being single never really took, but when i stopped looking so hard, an amazing woman came into my life. She's the best and she builds me up instead of tearing me down. I truly believe the right person is out there for everyone, sometimes you just have too stop looking and they'll come to you.

Congratulations. There is no other feeling like what you and I have experienced. Wishing you a long and fulfilling relationship.

Hollymolly, have you even read the title to my thread? I have accepted being single the rest of my days, that's why this thread. It's not 100% ideal, but I am there too now, but was feeling in the mood for a hug because I'm not a statue.

Now I'm actively working on accepting I'll never get that type of hug again. No biggie , I'm used to not be touched , so this shouldn't be hard

I addressed your query about my being a parrot and finding the right person when you're not looking above. Please look further up through the thread. You chose not to respond, yet you respond to a post not directed towards you.

The post I was responding to here is directed towards (GRIZZ1044), someone who shared a similar experience. I was congratulating them on finding a relationship suited to them.

Congratulations to you on wanting to be alone. Run with it, if that's what floats your boat. I will repost my original response to you in the post below "so this shouldn't be hard"...in your own words, for you to see the difference.

originally posted by: Elvicious1

originally posted by: ancientlight

originally posted by: Elvicious1
You'll never find Mr./Ms. Right until you stop looking. It's life's way of making sure the right one comes along.

How do you know this even, just something you're parroting? Honestly, I've heard this soooo many times , I think it's something someone in 'a relationships' says to singles to make themselves feel better.

Sour grapes? No. I didn't grow up with my mother and father so I was always striving for attention. Having a relationship made me feel wanted and I thought that was filling the void and something that made me normal. Having the 2 mother's of my children (never married, we weren't in a hurry both times) cheat on me brought me to a point where I downright hated women. Having a mother abandon you and be only 200 miles a way will do that to you and having the 2 (what you thought) major family relationships with the exes fail will cement the thought process. Especially when you grow up on the street. I can read a person's life story 10 seconds after I see their face. There really aren't that many nice people in the world. Everybody wants something from someone else. Love and Compassion and Selflessness are rare commodities....So. I went without for a couple of years and then who should come bouncing down the line when I was perfectly happy being alone? Ms. Right. I was in no way wanting, needing or looking forward to another relationship and I actually fought it as long as I could. Alas, to no avail I realized we were perfect for each other and what a shame we hadn't met before I had my first child because the woman I am with is perfect. Don't get me wrong, we all have our faults, but she is the other half of me. Literally. I am yang, she is yin. We don't even have that much in common, either, other than she didn't know her parents either, which I didn't find out until well after I met her. So yeah. I speak from vast, deep experience. We knew each other for 10 years. We lived with each other for 9 of those years and have been married for another 10. Total, 20 yeats. I feel it's safe to say I know what I'm talking about and not a "parrot". But whatever. Think what you like. I'm in Heaven.maybe you can be current and not carry that ancient light.

This was directed towards you.