I have accepted I will be single the rest of my days

a reply to: ancientlight

Might i suggest grabbing a VR device... Quest 2

You'd be surprised how much social interaction is available in the world of Virtual reality...

a reply to: ancientlight

I have been out of the game a long time.

Back in 1999, dating online was a breeze. I would think it would be even easier now with those personality match sites like eharmony & elite singles. Now you also have the themed dating like Christian mingle, Conservativesonly, Republicanpeoplemeet, Republicansmeet, farmers Only, etc.

That was always my sin, I hated being alone and was with a whole lot of the "wrong women".

I will be right back to it if I find myself single

Try dating. Go out and do something you been wanting to do. Youll have something to talk about then.

There's alot of men and women who are lonely too. Date local or even long distance.

a reply to: ancientlight

I have read none of the replies in this thread. I just wanted to say that I was pretty much at that same point for several years. I wasn't looking and I was content with having no one, but recently things changed. It just happened. Someone I knew long ago. A friend when I was a kid, but hadn't seen or talked to since then. Now something's happening. I'm glad it's happening, but I didn't expect it to. Maybe something similar will happen for you.(when you least expect it)

originally posted by: ancientlight

originally posted by: Hushabye
I never thought I would be, but since I won't take this mutagenic transfection disguised as an innoculation, and don't want to have close relations with someone that has....well, I guess I'm fine with it.

Are you talking about the 'vaccine'? Yes, I can't interact with 'vaccinated' either, they're practically alien to me (and not in a good way).
Not talking about those who were forced because they'd be out of work and homeless (that's criminal blackmail)

I don't even know who is vaccinated and who isn't. I don't ask people because it's none of my business, just as I expect others to not ask me.

I'm not vaccinated, because I thought it was nonsense. I only have a problem with anyone who would try to force others to get it, but not with someone who decided to get it themselves, even though I think they didn't need it.

Sending you a platonic virtual hug. Wish it could be face to face, i would live to meet so many of the people on ATS but its unlikely to happen. Do virtual hugs all round for everyone including thosr who i have had disagreements and harsh words from.
Kia ora whānau.
a reply to: ancientlight

I am alone in a crowd, even more alone with my life partner. Most of my close family is dispersed or dead and I have not one I can complain too and share my problems with. So what, who the hell am I that I should be happy with my life? Just pay the bills and fix stuff until I can't anymore and someone else takes care of the corpse. I've contemplated how I might make a grave that can bury me when I gasp my last breath, still haven't figured that out quite yet. Big deal, I died years ago anyway. Life, far too over rated in my opinion. I've done my time, time to let it go.

a reply to: MichiganSwampBuck

OK, once I got to the end of your comment, it felt a bit morbid. I think you love the woods too much to feel that way, but anyways, the first phrase of your comment reminded me of this song, so I wanted to share it.

I like lots of music, but I've been a Suicidal Tendencies fan since Junior High (that's been a very long time), and honestly, I think I still, and have always had them.... Suicidal Tendencies - 'Alone'



I scream at the sky, it's easier than crying
I'm shyest when I'm shouting out loud
I feel so alone in a room full of people
I'm loneliest when I'm out in a crowd
I'm alone, and nobody hears me
Can't nobody heal me, won't somebody help me

I'm alone (I just need)
Someone to take my hand and pick me up when I'm feeling down
Someone to take my heart and give it a home
Someone to help me through the times when I'm down and lonely
Someone to be with me when I'm alone, (I'm alone, all alone)

Alone is the way I live, it's not the way I want it but you know
You can't give in, alone is the way I feel, it's so hard to understand
Why I've got to be alone

Chorus:
If you took a look at my heart you'd see it
I'm trying to be something better
If you look at my heart you'd feel it
I've got to keep moving on
If you look in my heart you'd know it
I'm just trying to make my world better
If you look in my heart you'd see it
I got to do it alone

I've been down, I've been down
I've been down, down, down so low
I've been lost, so lost with no place left to go
I've had emotions, emotions that you better hope you never know
Sometimes it feels like I just can't take no more

Chorus

Seems like things just keep getting further out of hand
Why can't for once things just go as I plan
How dare you, how dare you tell me that you understand?
Let me tell you straight out, there ain't nobody here that can
I'm all alone, I'm so alone, to be alone, just leave me alone

If you look in my heart, you'll see it
If you look in my heart, you'd feel it
If you look in my heart you'd know it
I'm not trying to make no one bitter
I'm just alone, leave me alone, alone, alone, now leave me

I've lived in places that you wouldn't never ever want to be
Places where for a minute you couldn't ever stand to be
I've seen things, I've seen things you'd never want to see
So what gives, what gives you the right to be the judge of me
I'm all alone, I'm so alone, to be alone, just leave me alone

A room full of people, can't nobody hear me, can't nobody help me, I'm alone
I just need someone to take my hand
And pick me up when I'm feeling down (when I'm down)

Someone to take my heart and give it a home (when I'm down)
Someone to be with me and help me through the times
I'm down and lonely (when I'm down)
Someone to be with me (when I'm alone)
I'm alone, all alone
Alone is the way I live, it's not the way I want it
But I know I can't give in
Alone is the way I feel, there ain't nothing quite as sad as
A person that's alone




eta: FYI, If you like this song even a little bit, you should listen to How Will I Laugh Tomorrow... When I Can't Even Smile Today' and Nobody Hears''

Also, those lyrics aren't 100% accurate, but they're pretty close..... Close enough anyways.-


If you've made it this far through my comment and still reading, The Heavy Emotional Version is also really good. How Will I Laugh Tomorrow... When I can't Even Smile Today (Heavy Emotion version)'

I work in a "people job", so spend my working life talking to my fellow man. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's tedious. Mostly, I want to escape.

Outside of work, I live an isolated life, with my wife and my dogs. The only contact is with close family and superficial nattering with the odd neighbour. Close friends I meet occasionally, but increasingly less often.

Being alone is something I embrace. I walk the hills alone, and would hate company.

I was once told that the measure of one's success in life is the number of people who turn up at your funeral. I think that's bollocks. The measure of success in life is finding personal balance and harmony, and if that means no one turns up, then so-be-it.

In the words of the poet Walter Savage Landor, in his poem "Dying Speech of an Old Philosopher"

I strove with none, for none was worth my strife.
Nature I loved and, next to Nature, Art:
I warm'd both hands before the fire of life;
It sinks, and I am ready to depart.

originally posted by: paraphi

I was once told that the measure of one's success in life is the number of people who turn up at your funeral. I think that's bollocks. The measure of success in life is finding personal balance and harmony, and if that means no one turns up, then so-be-it.

There was a time when my personal goal was to die without anyone even noticing. I figured that way, my death would make no one sad. Seemed like a good goal at the time, even though I knew it would be difficult to accomplish.

a reply to: ancientlight

I need to warn you guys, all of you, not to let your OWNliness be played politically. Some extremists like INCEL will use your situation to their ideological advantage. Keep remembering Hitler built that house on the sand and used disaffection and scapegoats as its very foundation.

Don't let them get you hating women's freedom blaming women and LGBT+. Do not get bitter. It is the worst thing you can do. We need to fully analyse why Western men are having to lead lonely lives, to investigate and am sure we will because it is obviously becoming a life destroying issue for men.

Admit it if you need to that it can be life destroying. There is no magic cure or mantra. I don't go along with those who say company comes when you least expect it. They do not understand that this does not apply for some people and no matter what they try to do in terms of engaging with society nada seems to keep happening for them.

If a person were truly lonely they would seek out any company they could. Here all you guys are on ATS with absolutely loads in common interests and politics wise yet you are not interested in each other? How much does it cost to take a trip across the states in a plane or even a Greyhound bus? Sometimes I think we could replace the word lonely with PICKY.

An older friend of mine killed himself by jumping off a cliff. He was an incredibly fearless man. Only the fearless would do anythinbg as ironically brave as that. He had a wonderful personality and lived in a beautiful Cornish cottage in one of the most mysterious and beautiful valleys. He was not amazing looking, but had a very individual personalty and eccentricity. He was very well educated, but had a few nervous problems (another expression meaning low esteem, a negative perception of one's self and a lack of social confidence). He was only interested in young pretty things and there was no way they would ever have been interested in him that way. I told him if it was that endangering to him he should look for a woman his own age or go on a sex tourism holiday. He jumped off the cliff in the middle of the night in the finish. I was struggling for a home at the time and he had a spare house. We were like family friends. He could be so selfish too. We often are the last to appreciate what others spot straight away.

I could write you a book about this. Think of George Orwell or St John of Patmos as they wrote what they did like hermits in caves. That is the gift that OWNliness can bring too. Perhaps lonely men are too idealistic about what women can give them. Women can't give us Mom back. They can't be the moral meaning of our universe. The romantic in me wishes that I could have met someone who could do what even the Almighty can't do. The Almighty even left Jesus on a Cross,

"Eli, Eli, Lama Sabachthani?"

That is an expression of the ultimate loneliness of this universe. To be literally fotrsaken by the Almighty, the world, society, government, friends, family, women, men, children, Mom and Dad.

If we really believed Jesus we would know that now we are never alone. I will not bore you with all my stuff, but I have been almost as forsaken as Jesus. I still had the Almighty, He and the Spirit, but Jesus did not even have any of that. This is the way I have managed to handle my complete alienation from everything I loved. Now I never feel lonely. My mind is brimming with refreshing indivudality and new perceptions. I have become very cutting edge because I have put the time into watching and studying. That is the time that can only be gained by shutting the world out as you try to think and write. I have been rewarded with a great understanding of Scripture because I put it before my own needs.

A partner will not solve all our issues. If we make some else too much our reason for living we will almost always turn them cold because they will not feel comfortable having to live up to the goddess status we give them. If you have got all messed up about women go read about David, Moses, Solomon, Paul, Jesus. They will give you a balanced way to handle this. There is an old Jamaican reggae song I know that goes,



"You got to be a conscious man
When you fall in love
Just be a conscious man
When you fall in love
You got to be a conscious man
When you fall in love
When you fall in love with someone who doesnt love you
They use you as a puppet on a string
Look into yourself my friend
Try to get wise
And be a conscious man
When you fall in love
You got to be a conscious man
When you fall in love
Solomon was wise but he couldnt find the secret of a woman
Oh yeah it is true
Samson was strong and deceived oh yes
By a woman
Cant you see
Look into yourself my friend try to get wise
Dont let a woman get you down
Just be a conscious man
When you fall in love
You got to be a conscious man
When you fall in love
Solomon was wise but he couldnt find the secret of a woman
Oh yes it is true
Samson was strong and deceived oh yes
By a woman
Oh yes cant you see
Look into yourself my friend try to get wise
Dont let a woman get you down
Just be a conscious man
When you fall in love
Just be a conscious man
When you fall in love
You got to be a conscious man
When you fall in love".

Selah!

Good advice. Even Solomon got messed up with women. Paul kept well away, but still had the fever in him of desire and kept having to pray it away.

If you want them there are gifts you can have from making the most of your OWNliness. Gifts of study, education, adventures, becoming a man of G-D, et c.

If you have to you can hire a woman. She needs the money and wants it enough to do what she does. You are only two people who need different things from each other and willing to make a deal. Treat her like a child of the Almighty though because she is. Though it requires forgiveness.

When I need some sexy action I look for videos of those doing their business who I would fancy enough to have as a partner. I spend a long time looking generally. My imagination still does the decent thing. I tell the Almighty I am a sinner and unfortunately need just five minutes of action every so often for the sake of my biology and to stop me going insane.

I am well picky so I do understand. I personally don't do the hiring thing. I don't need to and don't want to as I am trying to please the Almighty with my behaviour as much as I can. It is never good enough, nor is it meant to be.

It is not loneliness. It is OWNliness. We have to own it, conquer it, use it. Nobody has to be lonely if they are not picky. Go to Church and join a coffee morning. Be a volunteer with the homeless. There are a million resources. I could do all that if I wanted, but I don't want to. So I remain in my Kafka burrow. Check out the ultimate lonely ownly story here,

cpb-us-w2.wpmucdn.com...

If we've nothing else in this world the Almighty will walk with us even through the valley of the shadow of death. Fear no evil and don't let anyone ever play on your loneliness. This world is wicked and will try to take advantage of every longing, turning our desire into horrific and wicked manifestations if we're not careful. Play me out, Eddie...

originally posted by: Tarantula777.

Don't let them get you hating women's freedom and blaming women and LGBT+. Do not get bitter. It is the worst thing you can do. We need to fully analyse why Western men are having to lead lonely lives, to investigate and am sure we will because it is obviously becoming a life destroying issue for men.

I've always loved women. I just hated myself. (I'm male by the way)

Sorry about your friend.

a reply to: ancientlight

I've been single for going on 12 years now.

Statistically, if I would have remained active, I would most likely have herpes right now, but I don't. So there is that, not to mention the money I saved, and the joy I experience doing what I want when I want to whomever I want, if I want.

You can't buy this level of freedom. You have to be willing to sacrifice what others consider normalcy to obtain it.

You certainly do not have to be with someone to be fulfilled. There are other ways to go about life. Just do it your way and screw what the status quo expects.

a reply to: ancientlight

Good luck ancientlight, i hope you eventually find someone for you, as loneliness can be a terrible thing indeed.

Same. Pretty much. My last relationship was actually someone I met from this website. It didn't work out. Mostly me. There was a lot of stuff going on that I just wasn't willing to deal with. I think she actually liked me and cared about me though. I hope she's happy. I think it was for the best. I wasn't good for her. Pretty sire she was the only woman I had been in a relationship who didn't end up cheating on me.

Since then.. I've made strides in achieving personal goals and getting myself in a better position. I have friends, and a job that pays well enough I don't have to worry about anything financially really. I've made several new friends, but they have their own families to be busy with and whatever else.

I don't ask people for relationship advice anymore. It's pointless. You're right though people who have the strange proclivity to make the assumption that single people just "need to work on themselves," or "get new hobbies." Single people aren't broken people who need to be fixed. I've worked on myself and pursued interests and achieved goals and there's not much else I want to do in life but be a good husband and father.

But that's probably not going to happen. I'm fine with it. That's how life is sometimes. But I concur there's something special about sharing moments with someone where there's a shared love and understanding.

Dating now is a travesty. Every single one of my friends purportedly know any single women. I guess it's possible. All of my friends are in relationships or are guys who are in the same boat as I am. So, if all of our friends are in relationships it's not that much of a stretch that all of their friends are also in relationships, and honestly it feels like by the time you do find an single woman through the friend network they are either a decade older or a decade younger or just don't take care of themselves. That, or the currently popular poly/ENM bullcrap.

The next time someone pesters you with the bogus work on yourself/find a new hobby line. Challenge them to come up with something you haven't done. If they can't think of anything tell them to keep their advice to themselves until they learn to understand someone before trying to give oit unsolicited BS relationship advice. Those words likely mean they didn't even think long enough to think of anything to say and just vomited out some sorry excuse of counseling.

If they do come up with something you haven't done before then try it out just for the hell of it. Probably won't solve any relationship issues, but at least it may turn out to be a fun way to kill time or you may find you actually like it.

I've do what I can to go out and have fun, but sometimes it just sucks that I work second shift and my weekends are actually Mondays and Tuesdays. Basically means I miss all of the community events, and upset everyone who wanted me to come.

But honestly now. I don't really hear from anyone unless I message them first. At thirty-two years of age I feel like it's time to just accept it.

I can't stand most women. I don't hate them. There's no disrespect or ill will towards them. It's just what most of them want I care nothing about, and what I care about most of them don't. I'm a simple minimalistic man, and women just bring clutter and complaints and a never ending supply of demands on top of work.

Last woman I dated complained when I said my place was pretty spartan and started to describe it. Like I just recently bought a television, because my friends convinced me that it would be better than watching things on my phone. It kind of is. Kind of a pain im the ass too. So, I wound up having to pay a cable provider so I don't have a useless TV sitting in my living room. It stays on one channel that basically plays old or cheesy horror films. It's kind of nice to just watch/listen to MST3K while trying to peace out. But yeah. No lamps, no extra furniture, basically just use candles. I'll turn the air conditioner on if guests are coming over or it's super humid. I have all the basics.

Hell, I'll tell you what. I recently figured doing a bit of shopping and was buying a new pillow and remembered that some of my friends were telling me that I needed a second pillow.

Like... why do I need a second pillow? I know the obvious answer is somethong akin to "Well, duh. So when you have a girl over." or some BS like that.

First of all. Ain't no one coming over to my place unless they're long time friends or we've been dating for a while. I don't want to go over to their place until the same conditions are met.

But you know what my dumbass did? Bought a second pillow that now ends up on the floor every night. Probably should just stick it in a closet or something.

Anyways. Screw em. Ignore vacuous comments and just do whatever you want to do. This is basically the only life you're probably ever going to 100% know you'll have may as well just keep living it how you want without missing out on # because you don't have someone to share moments with.

Though I guess I could end with a stupid piece of advice that's meant more to humour than to insult or exacerbate you.

People like to joke around about mail order brides or whatever. But I was thinking like a day or two ago how funny it would be if there was an easy way to offer yourself off to some lonely woman somewhere else.

Because at this point I think I'd rather just find me a really old lady who's rich and do what I can to piss off some family after the funeral is done and over with and they find out they've all been kicked off the money wagon they were waiting for.

But yeah. Screw dating as it is now. That stuff is for school kids. Apparently after the late twenties and thirties it's all just a salty sea of bitterness and man hate.

I always thought I'd be with someone again by now, but COVID really threw a crimp in my plans and now life circumstances don't make it exactly easy right now either. But even with COVID, I was able to get out and date a bit. It's weird though I just want to date and hang out, and so far nobody wants to slow down they want to jump to moving in a way too fast for my liking.

I know I don't have to be alone if I don't want to, but I'm not gonna rush into anything either. It's exhausting enough trying to get our business back where we were before. This August through the fall and holidays if we don't get enough business we might lose a market that's been around since the late 60s. Even if it survives it's going to be severely curtailed, unless the economy picks up. It's one of those deals where unless they are in the business or are just extremely understanding, it's difficult to put the time needed into a new relationship.

Hopefully, that eases in the next 6-9 months we should be okay as long as nothing else catastrophic happens. My main thing about finding somebody to spend the rest of my years with, is I am pretty set on finding a place in the mountains or one on a beach somewhere. If they can agree with that plan I'm sorta open to location, my daughters are off doing their thing and are in stable relationships. So yea I feel like now I should be open to the idea.

a reply to: glend

You're a good person mate!

Keep up the fine work. I like helping the older folk myself.

A simple chat and a cup of tea does wonders and I learn a lot.

Kudos to you.

Bally

a reply to: ancientlight

It took me 4 decades to discover i am a Hermit and i love it i could never go back to being the old me never , i love being on my own i got a dog forced on me 2 and a half years ago it ruined my peace and calm but he gets me out , i seem to get hit on all the time by nice single ladies but i am just not interested in that life anymore i actually avoid human contact as much as possible if that makes any sense .

You have exactly the opposite of me it seems so i would recommend to get a dog and go to the local park often go shopping or hang out in bars , they are full of lonely people and someone will come along when you least expect it - just believe it will happen and hey presto !.

With me the opposite is true the more i want to be alone the more women seem to turn up - its a funny old world
p.s there is nothing wrong talking to yourself but start worrying when you get a answer

a reply to: ancientlight

Talking to oneself can be cathartic.

I've been on both side of the aisles and I've put the graft and research in with regards on how to stay alone and not stay alone. It's choice really, what are you willing to accept?

Accept that loneliness is more than a state of mind?

Or

Accept that humans are fallible.

As I say to a friend who keeps screwing herself over... You don't need to hop on every penis you see. But with that said does he need to be vaccinated, 6'3" and show up with a bottle of southern comfort? Depends on the good time right?

Loneliness sucks but for some compromising oneself and ones morals sucks more.

Then again maybe everyone is being oh so serious in a reality where our perception is quite possibly the butt of our own custom joke.

I'm single and unvaccinated btw

a reply to: ancientlight

I use to be nervouse about taking on the world aline. Hated doing things and spending my money alone. I had a mate most of my life. I had 2 great years not dating and focusing on me. I started to realize taking on the world was not a weakness but becoming a superpower and my biggest strength. It's a bit unsettling because I want kids in a family but I have faith these things will work themselves out as long as I'm not scared to make the attempts and follow signs.