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i wish

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posted on Jan, 24 2014 @ 11:00 PM
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I wish my father had not died when i was 16
I wish he had life insurance
I wish my mother wasn't sick
I wish my brother wasn't a junkie
I wish i could have made it work with my children's mother
I wish i didn't spend years in relationships that doomed me to the street
I wish i could have saved
I wish i wasn't Hungry
I wish i wasn't cold
I wish i could find a job
I wish my van had tires
I wish my van had gas
I wish the world was fair
I wish working 40 hours ment something
i wish i could see my kids again
I wish i wasn't living in a parking lot
I wish i was hireable
I wish someone took pity on me
I wish life hadn't come to this
I wish there was a future
I wish i wasn't stranded
I wish one of those millionaires would loan me a grand
I wish my government would help me
I wish there was help


Seems i want be making the cut. But that's ok. I have worked hard. But i have failed at this life

What ever the future holds done turn your backs on eachother.

Remember it takes a city to raise a child. And without that support you get me.


Homeless hungry cold unemployed alone on this planet.

Good luck to you all. You will need it



posted on Jan, 24 2014 @ 11:37 PM
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reply to post by Another_Nut
 


I'm so sorry for those suffering today
edit on 24-1-2014 by ladybug121 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 24 2014 @ 11:45 PM
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Don't wish, WANT/DESERVE my dear. When you wish, you imply that it is less than possible unless someone helps. You can MAKE it happen if you really Want it to happen instead of wanting to feel bad for yourself....and blame the world.

Think about it - what you really want is to feel sorry for yourself (sorry that seems harsh and I don't mean to be harsh, but it's true) - and sounds like where you are. Try to realize that's what you're doing and Stop WANTING that. Easier said than done, I know, but at least consider it.

You DO deserve all those things and they will come to you, if you will LET them. Ease up on yourself and believe in your power to change.

edit on 24-1-2014 by Maluhia because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 24 2014 @ 11:51 PM
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Get to a homeless shelter and on welfare until you can get on your feet. One day at a time, one step at a time.



posted on Jan, 24 2014 @ 11:53 PM
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reply to post by Another_Nut
 


*wipes away the tears*

I wish my father wasn't an abusive alcoholic.

I wish my mother didn't turn to drugs and spend six years in prison.

I wish I had more guidance as a child.

I wish I finished high school

I wish my eight year marriage didn't crash and burn.

I wish I could see my kids (dammit I WISH!)

I wish I could find a job.

I wish I didn't suffer from this depression.

I wish I didn't suffer.

I wish no on had to suffer.

I wish my son knew my name.

I wish I didn't feel as though the world has passed me by.

Damn.

I wish... I wish so many things.

I wish I didn't have to wish.

I... I'm done.

F**k, I'm DONE!

We seem to have a lot in common. You know what?

I wish you the best.

Kallisti



posted on Jan, 25 2014 @ 12:29 AM
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I wish you didn't feel so down today.

I have some of those things on your wish list and you have something I wish for, that you didn't mention you have


edit on 25-1-2014 by violet because: (no reason given)


Rather than making a wish list, make a goal list.
It's because it requires action on your part. These things aren't magically going to come to you.
edit on 25-1-2014 by violet because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 25 2014 @ 12:36 AM
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All life is suffering - Buddha ..
As long as you draw breath theres always a chance .. instead of whinging over things that happened .. pick yourself up .. move on and live instead of blaming the world .. life is what we make it .. only one holding you back is yourself ..



posted on Jan, 25 2014 @ 12:47 AM
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reply to post by Another_Nut
 


Sell your van and bus it to Texas.

Swift has trucking school in San Antonio, they take like 150 down for school.

There's also a bunch of customer service jobs there that'll hire anyone. I mean ANYONE. I knew a guy who had killed like three people(parole) that worked for one of them. Not the best jobs, like 9 bucks an hour and sales but better than nothing.

Life sucks but if you're going to be homeless it's better to be homeless in a place where you can buy a gym membership for 15 a month to shower and where it rarely drops below 40. Not the best city to be homeless but if you're a dude there's a church downtown that doesn't give a # if you sleep on their steps. Only reason I haven't done the CS there is because the jobs available aren't within busing distance. If you're homeless though that shouldn't be a problem.

Just some ideas.



edit on 25-1-2014 by OrphanApology because: s



posted on Jan, 25 2014 @ 12:57 AM
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Maluhia
Don't wish, WANT/DESERVE my dear. When you wish, you imply that it is less than possible unless someone helps. You can MAKE it happen if you really Want it to happen instead of wanting to feel bad for yourself....and blame the world.

Think about it - what you really want is to feel sorry for yourself (sorry that seems harsh and I don't mean to be harsh, but it's true) - and sounds like where you are. Try to realize that's what you're doing and Stop WANTING that. Easier said than done, I know, but at least consider it.

You DO deserve all those things and they will come to you, if you will LET them. Ease up on yourself and believe in your power to change.

edit on 24-1-2014 by Maluhia because: (no reason given)


Have you ever been there? I have in a different situation but I know that when a person is in a certain mental state those words hurt more than help. They are helpful when a person is in a better state of mind, but if he is where I think he is, that only causes more pain.

Nightstar, most places do not give welfare to people without kids. I know some places do but the majority don't. They might give 3 months foodstamps at best.

OP, he is hoping some unexpected luck will come your way. Hang in there.



posted on Jan, 25 2014 @ 12:59 AM
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reply to post by Another_Nut
[

It's really hard when you lack family, and support when growing up. It affects your relationships and outlook on life for many years often leading you in the wrong direction. My heart goes out to all struggling right now. I know too many struggling right now.
edit on 25-1-2014 by ladybug121 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 25 2014 @ 01:04 AM
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reply to post by calstorm
 


Yeah I don't think most people realize that the conditions of many homeless shelters are worse than sleeping outside. Also welfare doesn't exist for people without children, like you said. Food stamps are three months only and 9/10 it's hard to get them when your homeless because many places require you to file on computer now(not over phone).

It's also almost impossible to get job when you don't have access to showers, clothes, and mail. Again, many homeless shelters are WORSE than sleeping outside. At least outside you don't have your shoes stolen and get body and head lice. Or get raped like the women do sometimes.

People have this idea that there's all these wonderful programs and resources for when you lose your home.

There's not.

In fact many cities make it illegal to even exist.

Shanty towns in Venezuela have better conditions than the homeless in America.

Why?

They have a roof over there head.



posted on Jan, 25 2014 @ 01:12 AM
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ladybug121
reply to post by Another_Nut
[

It's really hard when you lack family, and support when growing up. It affects your relationships and outlook on life for many years often leading you in the wrong direction. My heart goes out to all struggling right now. I know too many struggling right now.
edit on 25-1-2014 by ladybug121 because: (no reason given)


Agreed, by the age of 22 I had lost every blood relative I had aside from my oldest child. Including my mother to suicide. Being that she was a drug addict i was pretty much on my own from the age of 12 on. It is hard to ever get a real jump on life when you don't have the best beginning. I really do believe luck plays a bigger role than most people would like to believe.



posted on Jan, 25 2014 @ 01:14 AM
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reply to post by calstorm
 




Have you ever been there? I have in a different situation but I know that when a person is in a certain mental state those words hurt more than help. They are helpful when a person is in a better state of mind, but if he is where I think he is, that only causes more pain.


Yes, I HAVE been there....spent an immense amount of time there and still visit on occasion....so I do completely realize how difficult it can be, which is why I said in my reply "easier said than done" and "I don't mean to be harsh".....but, sometimes our cries are for a wake up call and not a pacifier.

Never my intent to hurt, just trying to cast a glimmer of hope on the idea that you have the ability/power to change things around, if you change your focus from the negative. But, to many of us the negative is very comforting - for some strange reason. All I'm asking is - consider, really consider this idea.



edit on 25-1-2014 by Maluhia because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 25 2014 @ 01:20 AM
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reply to post by calstorm
 


I completely agree with you as well. And feel your pain, my mom lost custody of me when I was 13. And my father, well he disappeared. It really is hard starting from a hard beginning.



posted on Jan, 25 2014 @ 02:33 AM
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I am very concerned about this posters state of mind. Please reply to me right away and I will see if I can do anything to help you. I am in the UK so I may not be able to assist you directly but I do have friends and relatives in the States.

Please reply to me immediately.



posted on Jan, 25 2014 @ 02:46 AM
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Does anyone on this thread think they maybe somewhere near to the OPs location.



posted on Jan, 25 2014 @ 07:08 PM
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reply to post by Another_Nut
 

Dear one,
It sounds like you are in a very bad place emotionally, spiritually, physically. I can feel your pain, hurt, loss in every word.
Many of us here on ATS have had tough lives in one way or another -- lost many things, people, health, and so forth.
Some may not have had as tough of lives, but they do see how hard it is out there, and getter harder every day.

Please seek some type of help -- maybe through a church or some sliding scale counseling. Spend time in the library (it's free), it's warm, it's got loads of resources to help uplift you, learn things, get inspired. Find out every resource available to you to help you get on better footing. If you can, help someone else who has even less than you, less hope, less means, less support.

One thing that helps me when I get down -- and trust me, I get very down about my finances and family issues -- is that at this moment, there are children starving to death, dying of disease, in refugee camps, living in garbage dumps and shanty towns, drinking diseased water, with no hope. There are people who are even worse off than you. Despite everything that has gone wrong, your life has been and continues to be better than many people on the this planet. It doesn't change your situation, but it can help you realize that you may have some small things to be appreciative of.

But you don't need lecturing and such from me or anyone on this site. What you need is a great big "HUG" through the internet -- a psychic hug! You are a human being, a precious light, deserving of all that is good in this world, and you deserve to be hopeful and forward moving. Believe that tomorrow will be better than today. Even if in the smallest way.

Be strong. Be strong. Be strong.

May angels of light walk with you.



posted on Jan, 25 2014 @ 07:40 PM
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hotel1
Does anyone on this thread think they maybe somewhere near to the OPs location.


Thats what I looked at first.
Unfortunately Im pretty far .. few states away.. and he DOES NOT want to come here. Bad bad economy.



posted on Jan, 26 2014 @ 12:45 AM
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reply to post by Maluhia
 


Well being is a state of mind.

I deserve nothing. You must work for why you want.

Unfortunately work doesn't always mean you get

Ty to all who have shown understanding

Me? Well i have given to those with less. And still do. Giving is in my nature as it is a way to justify myself.

If i hadn't been so i would not be in this position.

I can't not help when i see need.

Which is one reason i find this planet so disconcerting

When i see need i fill it.

Which usually just means i am being used by someone without that need to help

I have worked hard ll my life. But that is meaningless in my society

And i don't have the heart to be greedy

To use someone as a stepping stone.

If i fail or if i succeed

I will leave this world knowing i tried.

If you do nothing else today help someone in need.

While it is easy to say pull yourself up

Its harder to accomplish when you are to tired to lift

I have been a traveler and really homelessNess doesn't bother me

I lost my electrical lisc. Due to issue with the state

So they took my livelihood

So i worked under the table. But as i learned that only lasts so long

So the gov. Took my job and left me with the bills

Being a white male with no addiction means no help

I've tried .and tried.

For 20 years

I've lost friends and lovers

I've had good people tell me they couldn't help because of how others treated t them

And i understand

When you have been screwed over so long you lose your trust

When the time comes i will not fear

Fear is the mind killer

And my mind is all i have

Be kinder to one another

Or end up

Another_nut



posted on Jan, 26 2014 @ 04:06 AM
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reply to post by Another_Nut
 


I'm thinking of you and wishing you whatever strength and courage it takes to see your way through. I know that sometimes we go through so much for just so log and then get overwhelmed by it all. There are many of us here who are suffering in some way or another. You are never truly alone.



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