Why does everyone mysteriously hate/dislike me for no reason? Is the shadow gov behind it?

Just guessing, but you may come off as needy. You talk about sending messages and stuff and getting them to take you out. Without knowing more than that, it sort of sounds like you are pursuing them and it may be a little too aggressive.

Then, when you say that you are doing the best in all your classes, it may also be that you are intimidating. If you are smart and don't bother to hide how well you do and bring that up too much ... guys don't tend to like that, either. If you aren't talking about guys who can hold their own with you, they are going to distance themselves from you in most cases if they aren't comfortable with the idea of a girlfriend who knows a lot more than they do and has no problem rubbing their faces in it.

Guys like to be the man. They like to wear the pants.

If you were raised religiously, especially fundamentally, this should have been taught to you. It's true. That doesn't mean you have to always be subservient or submissive, but it does mean that the guy likes to feel like the provider and protector. It's his natural role in nature (if you want to dismiss the religious angle, but there is wisdom there).

Let the guy feel like a White Knight. Let him treat you like a princess. Don't force yourself on him. The tougher a guy initially looks, the weaker his ego likely is. Also, ask yourself, is he really worth your time? Most bad boys are that way for a reason. I'd say look at the nice guys. They tend to know who they are more than the bad boys do and tend to be more stable.

reply to post by wutdouthink


As far as online friendships are concerned I really wouldn't worry too much....I think many people can be fickle in their friendships online. Online friendships can tend to be more disposable...

As far as in "real" life friendships and relationships...do you think maybe you try too hard to be liked? I ask this because people who try too hard to be liked can make people around them feel uncomfortable and it can "weird" them out and make people avoid them.

reply to post by wutdouthink


I would def say that the govt interference is prob the least likely scenario. But if you are like me, talking about govt conspiracies tends to make peoples eyes roll. Haha.

I have learned only to talk about fringe subjects around people who are interested in the topic. Everyone else seems to be more interested in sports, or american idol, or some other mainstream bs.

reply to post by wutdouthink


Nothing unfortunate about it. I hope both of my little girls wait a LONG time.

Not to sound rude but it sounds more like you are putting a vibe of desperation out.

Like I said...people can sense a lot more than you think.

Crazy as it sounds I would say get into meditation and really dig deep to find who you are. I would put up a large argument for confidence and self awareness being the two most attractive qualities in a person.

reply to post by Char-Lee


No one likes ducks, unless its on plate with plum sauce.

HappyWarrior
Jesus Christ, you know your crazy when you start blaming the government for not having friends.

well that's helpful

I'm going to guess you try too hard to be liked and it comes off as too aggressive.

You weren't dealt any favors by being home schooled, thereby losing out on years of social interactions on a variety of levels. So people you meet are just acquaintances (not really full on friends) and some are friends.

Like you mentioned, one person showed you enough "friendship" that you immediately moved to the next level and wanted to date. That may be a sign of your social awkwardness. You'll grow out of it.

reply to post by ketsuko

It's his natural role in nature

We still have those? Natural roles?

I have found that when I am the only constant in a seemingly universal problem, I tend to be the source of the issue.

In other words, if I am the only connecting factor, then I am the problem. It seems to apply to good stuff too though, so not all is lost.

Once people know and accept you for you, then it isnt so hard to talk about "tough" subjects. Before that, most people are looking for reasons to not trust others (it can lead to great pain, if you havent learned that already).

Who you are to others is who you decide to be through your actions. If those actions give rise to doubt in someone elses mind, they will likely just move on.

Your actions in life are much more relevant to others than the beliefs that drive them. Let people get to know "who" you are through your actions, before delving into the "why" that drives the choices. A lot of people dont even know that about themselves and discuss it as a form of validation.

Once we have figured out "why" I am "who" I am, I learned that someone else can learn everything they need to know about me through my actions.

reply to post by wutdouthink


Without knowing more, you might be socially awkward.

Are you good at sensing other peoples emotions and facial expressions?

Kiddo, the thing is this. You may find that the people you want to hang out with might not be in your wheel house just yet (if ever).

Hang out with people you normally wouldn't, like older women, maybe 70 years +. The thing is they might be looking for a friend and they tend to keep it real. Older people often times say it like it is, and aren't as concerned with what people think. If you got a quirk or two to work on, they'll usually tell you.

Volunteer.

Meet people outside your normal socio-economic groove.

The beautiful people, or your peers, may not click with you yet, but I promise that someone, somewhere will think you are the cats pajamas.

Look people in the eye and take an interest in them and what they think. Being a good listener can also help.


Don't ever do things you are not comfortable with, just so some people will "like" you.

wutdouthink

CJCrawley
There's obviously some social peculiarity about you.

Most likely, but what? And also don't forget about all my online friends who never met me. They only knew me from facebook messages, pretty much masking all social peculiarities.

How do I know?

I don't know you from Adam.

Something you are saying that's odd...?

Or just plain over-earnestness.

Good way of losing friends and alienating people.

reply to post by usernameconspiracy

You weren't dealt any favors by being home schooled

That is very debatable. There are some HUGE benefits. Clearly one is she turned out to be a smart and nice person.

reply to post by wutdouthink


Ask yourself how you come across to them. Do you appear needy and dependent, because if so that's a definite turnoff. If you are a whiner or a complainer, that too will turn people off. Not saying you're like that, but why look for deep conspiracies when the answer probably lies in the way you relate. Examine whether you could be too tense, are trying too hard, or whether you talk more than you listen. If you went on a few dates, then it doesn't sound like you're a horrible person to that guy. If he's now avoiding you though, could it be that you are crowding him? Perhaps being more laid back and less demanding of a budding relationship, taking things slower might be something to consider?

I don't pretend to have all the answers, so I just offer the things that come to mind based on your OP. As for friends, the ones I have came about through common interests. There are lots of clubs you might like to enjoy on campus and such an activity could get you a feel for being in a group, an experience you perhaps lacked by being homeschooled?

Anyway congratulations on your grades. I wish you continued success and progress in your goals.

Do you have webbed toes? I know that can be a real turn off for some people.

Maybe a funny laugh or are you just hard on the eyes?

It could be a million things.

reply to post by Char-Lee


We're supposed to.

Let's put it this way. I let my husband make most of the decisions. He does a pretty good job most of the time, and when he's about to do something that I really disagree with ... I put my foot down and he knows I mean it. For his part, he usually doesn't make any decisions without checking with me.

It's a great system. He leads and fills that need, but I always get my say in. I'm comfortable knowing he won't go anywhere major without my voice. And, I'm not eaten up with the stress of always having to make all the major decisions.

We almost never fight. And this has been working for us for over 15 years.

reply to post by wutdouthink


Could be really basic. Like, do you put out? If so, they got what they want and they're done. If not, they're not willing to try any harder to get it. Being homeschooled, you probably did not watch too much TV either. fyi - There are 'cultural rules' and commonalities derived from those shared pseudo-experiences - if you don't share them, you don't know what's going right over your head - you'll be missing the subtleties of "social" interaction. I wouldn't worry about it - go with the "they're all fools" hypothesis. Wait a while and eventually you'll hook up with some grown-ups - like-minded and worth the trouble. ...But do make some effort to keep up those all-important social skills.

Not that it's easy. It's a complicated world out there. Whatever crowd you want to 'join' you're definitely going to have to stifle a lot of yourself - that's the price of choosing social over individual. If you are a maverick and choose to stay the course, you'll need to learn how to be happy alone.

Good luck. And just so you know, what you're experiencing is a pretty normal part of "growing up." Sucks, but true.

Way to go ATSers, attack the poor kid, when she is obviously struggling with trying to understand why she is struggling to make friends, seriously!!

Did the struggling to make friends coincide with the time you started to be home schooled? Whilst you probably learn more educationally being schooled at home, school is great preperation for the real world. You learn how to interact with other young people, you learn when it's a good idea to say things and a good idea to say nothing.

Being young can be terrible for some people, yet the best of times for others. It will change for you I am sure, just be yourself and join one of the various groups in college that shares your interests. You'll be fine and will learn that making friends will come naturally with those that share the same interests.

Good luck!!

reply to post by wutdouthink


I have three tips which have worked wonders for me in the past:

1. Keep it cool, calm, and collected. No need to act like a jack rabbit chugging red bull on prom night.

2. Be yourself. That's the most natural approach you can take, and the most honest one. If they don't like it, and they make it clear, there's nothing else you can do and they're not worth your time. Period.

3. Talk and listen carefully to avoid miscommunications. Assumptions and second-guessing are your enemy, whether it be on your part or his.

Perhaps the wrong kind of guys have been the ones showing interest, (there are way more wrong type guys, than good types so the odds have maybe just worked against you so far.)

The wrong type guys are usually the ones that actually just want to get you to wear only your birthday suit, which is actually 95% of the male population. ( I know this is true since I am one of them)I think that maybe you are exuding an air of "no way José" and that is when they will stop sending any interest, if they think they will never get any..

Sad but true..

Keep hunting.. P.S. even the good types are secretly hoping you will be a bit naughty.. See how men are now?

reply to post by wutdouthink


Well it seems you have no lack of folks willing to help. That has to be uplifting. What are some of your hobbies or interests?

Maybe you will click with a group on here?