Drunk and lonely need advice from you lovely folk.

Don't know where you live but all 'bars' are not the usual bars you may think.

The best thing to happen to me was to learn to dance in bars, aka dance halls' with instructors. I am part of a large group of dancers. Some drink a bit, some don't. But it is a great community with people from pig farmers to bankers and Dr's. For me it is country dance...akin to ballroom. But this is a great way to meet people and learn something new.

I am 26 but I have dated a lot!! Now I have dated the wrong guys and married one of them. But, if you go back in time there is always the guy that loved you no matter what and you kept in the friend zone. It might be a good time to go back and see if you can be friends again. Learn from your mistakes. I hope that guy exists in you life.

Nobody has to get married because they are willing to sleep together. I see this ALL the time!! I cannot stress it enough. It's not a guilt thing and you certainly don't have to tell them you love them because you think it's the right thing to do. They slept with you because they wanted to not because they expected to get married in the morning.

Face your own feelings and make yourself happy.

You have to be happy before you can make somebody else happy.

If you're in a bad relationship, don't stay in it(see not getting married above). DO NOT move in with somebody until you're sure that you are going to marry that person (if marriage is a consideration). Even if it takes 15 years! (I've seen so many people get rid of their stuff and their apartment to move in with a partner only to have to nosedive in weeks. Then they have nothing to rebound to.

If you are a submissive type but don't want to be, don't look for a partner that is dominant because you will end up being in the same situation. The inverse of this is also true.

For anyone to see actual change they need to be that change. I know it may sound stupid but telling yourself over and over that you're a bad-ass, but it will eventually lead you to a different attitude. This is because our brain works on a system that brings our actions in line with our thoughts. Tell yourself you are a loser and you'll be nothing more. Once you convince yourself, you won't have to convince anybody else.

Change the way you carry yourself. When you sit, make it straight up, when you walk make sure it's with your shoulders back and your chin up, when you talk to people use words like "we" and "us". This includes yourself and the person you are communicating with (in a relationship setting).

Do some reading on body language and learn it. Pay attention to people that talk to you in a guarded stance (arms crossed, hands clasped, hands in pockets) and pay attention to people's eyes (looking left, or right or up while talking). Both of these will give away when you're being lied to or when they have come to then end of their interest in you or the conversation. Don't be afraid to use awkward pauses in speech because that makes others fill the gap in conversation. This will innately give you insight to that person's behaviors. If you are having trouble reading a fast talker that uses their hands a lot then look at their legs. A knee pointed directly at you will will let you know that you are holding a person's interest.

Also stop going to bars. If you feel lonely and depressed there; don't go there. Do you really want a relationship with a person that spends their free time at a bar?--Neither do the women you're looking for. But really picking women up in bars is for short term relationships, expect them to be so.

I have mixed feelings on dating sites. The women that are one them, are on them for a reason. The same reason that men are on them. To me it's like a lower tier of looking.

For now, I'd tell you to sign yourself up for some skydiving and knock your panties off.

You're at an interesting age right now... really a perfect age for browsing through all possible options.

DON'T develop serious relationships with bar connections. Go to Art openings, events... to meet more quality people. STILL enjoy some clubbing or local hang-out... NOTHING wrong with that, in fact I encourage it. But as others have said: you really do not NEED another person. It's just icing on the cake. If you "need", you will be duped again and again by guys who need to manipulate.

DO try match.com or okcupid.com (better than match)... but try both. Forget the others... plenty of fish sucks...

Don't "sell" yourself like a product... just EXPRESS yourself in your listing. If you are that self-conscious about "what will they think of me?" then just forget it. If you can get over that however you can MASTER this wonderful game of love. And believe me, as an older dude, the action just BEGINS at about 40... At time when our childhood delusions give way to REALITY. And if you are in good shape and have a positive attitude, you will quickly find that the World is Your Oyster! And men DO NOT control ANYTHING, least of all a woman.

So realize your Goddess power... Men are empty shells that NEED... Women are LIFE itself... so don't think like a man (don't be egocentric or paranoid)... Just enjoy yourself and extend that outward... and see what happens. Wonderful people will walk into your life. But BE DISCERNING and don't let some jackass sucker you!

reply to post by ChuckNasty

"When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade?"

When life gives you potatoes, make vodka!

reply to post by Mommymomo


Exactly this! ^

Go to different places besides bars to find someone. You meet someone else who's drunk in the moment & the best choices are not made. Go out to places where other people are doing things that you enjoy, whatever it is besides bar hopping. - Do that after you find someone you enjoy spending time with.

Also, you can only be truly happy if you can learn how to live by yourself being happy. There may be a void in your life, but it is for you to discover what that is. It may even be that you are not happy living with yourself, and no person can ever change that, but you.

So, take a deep look into the mirror, and into your heart & soul, and work on any personal things you are not happy with. Once you are happy with yourself, you will be able to make someone else happy too!

After being married & divorced by 25, I have taken the lonely opportunity to work on becoming a better person, and I know you can do it just believe in yourself!

One more thing, drunk folks are not very appealing to some folks. Drinking and drug abuse and even smoking can erode your health, appearance, and even attitude. You may smell bad and perhaps be a nasty drunk. I'm not saying all alcohol is bad, but too much of anything isn't good. Moderation....

I look for women everywhere, hit on any that are attractive, and score often.

I don't get?
why not just go out and get some? It's so easy.

reply to post by liquidsmoke206


LOL

reply to post by Vviena1606


well seriously.
What's the big deal?

Sounds like maybe this guy is afraid of rejection. Ironically if you can't handle rejection, you will not have success with women. People should stop putting so much pressure on themselves to find a soul mate. It just makes everything way more dramatic and serious. There are probably millions of interesting beautiful people that a person can learn from and get into adventures with. The world is so much more exciting than just one person.

reply to post by liquidsmoke206


agreed

reply to post by boymonkey74


Aaw hey you never know one of those 20 year olds may be perfect...

I am 23 and my partner is 40... Maybe you should ask him about re-dating 20 year olds. I been with him over 3 years now and it is the best thing that has ever happened to me (maybe both possibly ). I am very very very happy and so is he....

I cannot ever see us being apart...