On Choosing Your Sexuality

reply to post by Darth_Prime

What about the other parts of it though? take my highly effeminate qualities that i don't 'consciously' make myself act like, it was a part of me... or even Transgendered if that is not far off topic

It's hard to really say "when" something happened to us. But here's what cognitive and developmental psychologies have taught us.

We can't remember "everything" that influenced our personalities. I, for example, have distinct impressions of being shapes in certain ways by particular people I've been close with. I seem to argue the way my sister does and can be just as high energy; the way I talk, especially my habit of being sarcastic, reminds me of my older cousin Chris. Growing up and being around him all the time, I unconsciously adopted traits that I admired in him. Same with my sister. And I have countless other memories and experiences that give meaning and substance to my sense of self.

As mentioned, the INAH 3 - an area in the hypothalamus - is closer in size to women than to men. A females intersitital nuclei of the anterior hypothalamus is 2.8 times smaller than in males. This is a significant finding.

We also know that homosexuals have lower testosterone levels; and researchers have predicted at above chance levels of which kids will grow up to be homosexual based upon childhood testosterone levels.

All this biochemical jargon is essentially describing what you emotionally experience. There's the mental subjective experience of "I feel like #"; while in our brain, a specific chemical is being released in quantity that affects your experience. If an area of your brain is smaller than normal - and this area appears to regulate which gender you find attractive - then the odds are pretty good that you will experience homosexual attraction. Your brain is predisposing you to this experience.

Being effeminate is obviously related to attraction towards males. Many kids end up homosexual largely because of the influence of childhood identity issues. If as a boy you feel you share feeling and experiences that occur more naturally in girls, you naturally wonder, whats wrong with me? This thought process sets off a bunch of neural signals and association mechanisms in the psyche that emotionally gears you to be sexually attracted towards males when puberty hits (or if you're a girl, vice versa).

It's rather interesting, and i appreciate you taking the time to explain it in detail. but it seems like that is more towards we are born this way correct? if we have an area smaller than others, and produce lower amounts of testosterone we can't consciously or unconsciously select that

reply to post by Curious2Know


Again, the issue is complicated.

Ultimately, though, that people think that sexuality is "fixed" and people are either straight, gay, or bi, but can't ever move along the spectrum through simply willing it, shows how egregiously ignorant most people are.

The fact that emotional experience can be controlled is a basic tenet of most spiritual philosophies; from Yoga, to Buddhism, to western esoteric sciences, this is completely known - it's alchemy in the west.

Of course, I am not one to pass judgement. I know how difficult emotions like this can be: especially when they're being fomented and energized by childhood thoughts and experiences that create deeply rooted complexes with self and identity.

Even though you CAN, as an adult, work through these problems, you really need to attain a level of self understanding and maturity that is very difficult for most people. To be able to work BACK, through the chaos of those dysfunctional formative experiences, to break through them, untangle them, and studiously maintain focus through out, is a tall order. It definitely requires a complete existential commitment; a type of attitude that would make you monk-like in your self awareness.

I'm not saying this because I think a gay person should change his or her sexuality. I won't go down that road. My philosophy - the only thing that makes a shred of sense to me - is live and let live.

reply to post by Darth_Prime


Yes, you were born this way.

Something happened in your genome that caused this area of your brain to grow smaller than it usually does in males. HOWEVER, as I have mentioned again and again, the brain is plastic, which means, the brain is constantly in flux, constantly changing. If you do something again and again, specific chemicals exercising certain areas in the brain are being released over and over again; in the brain this creates thickened nerve fibers; more and more neurons and synapses are being formed and more mylelin is being laid to accommodate this heightened mental/physical activity.

If this happens one way, it can happen in the reverse. Change your thinking, understand the factors involved in shaping experience, and you can learn how to manipulate your nervous system i.e. to force your brain and it's complicated processes to make how you want to feel become automatic (do it enough, and the brain will start doing it without conscious/manual inputs)

As the joke goes, "We are all as God made us... and often a great deal worse." Maybe the universe had some good reason for arranging some % of a variety of species to not be just like everyone else. By 'universe' I could mean 'god' or I could mean 'darwinian evolution' who knows -- just, factors beyond my ken.

Personally I kinda like that humans are individual and vary some.

RedCairo
As the joke goes, "We are all as God made us... and often a great deal worse." Maybe the universe had some good reason for arranging some % of a variety of species to not be just like everyone else. By 'universe' I could mean 'god' or I could mean 'darwinian evolution' who knows -- just, factors beyond my ken.

Personally I kinda like that humans are individual and vary some.

Absolutely. The beauty derives from variation. You wouldn't sit and stare at your mates beautiful eyes if everyones eyes were the same. If they were the same, then there would be nothing to strike you as beautiful.

We require context. "Beautiful" indicates preference. Preference indicates difference.