15 Y/O Daughter Lost Virginity to Boyfriend Then He Broke Up With Her

Being someone who lost their virginity at 16 I'm stuck on the fence about teenagers being sexually active. On one hand I have seen people wait till they go to post secondary school (collage/university) as virgins and by the end of their first year having double digit partners, But In saying that I have also seen people save it for one person and share something that many of us cannot say we share with our partners. On the other hand I have seen peers in high school become mommies and daddies when they are barely adults themselves. But at least in your teen years you can learn from experiences and take that into adulthood. The most upsetting thing about teens having sexual relations is that they actually believe they are in love when they haven't the slightest idea what love is beyond what Hollywood portrays, with no help from the music industry either. Teens toss the word love around so much that it looses its actual meaning and when it comes time for breakup the worlds over. I know this because I experienced it half a decade ago. It's not just teaching your kids about the birds and the bees, it's about teaching them what true love actually is and not just lust.

Originally posted by LewsTherinThelamon

Originally posted by LUXUS
When I was 15 I didn't even have a conversation with my parents about safe sex because I was a kid....and knew that!

If I did that my father would have swiped his leather belt across my ass, my mother would have been disgusted with me and they might have even threatened to call the police or bring me to the head teacher so as to seriously embarrass me.

That's because people were borderline mentally challenged back then.

Actually, I discipline my daughter the same way every time she poops or allows her cells to divide.

Hate to brake it to you but being sexually active at 15 is not normal, unless you live in povity strikken area in which case totally normal to see 12 year old mums pushing their kids down the road.

reply to post by Metallicus



i'm glad i have 2 sons...anyway,i have heard similiar scenarios over & over..for some reason..girls think,if they give in to the guy...he belongs to her.he was just getting what he wanted.sorry-it is reality...it sounds like she didn't get the RIGHT birds & bees talk.sex has NOTHING to do with love.at her age-(while it SEEMS like she is "physically"developed,(which we all grow physically-)until 21...she is-(not fully devoped,emotionally)...i know it hurts-but-we ALL have to take our own journey-by ourselves.we all must live & learn,by are own mistakes.it is imperitive.you cannot live ANYONE elses life,for them...just hope in the future-she makes more positive choices

Originally posted by LewsTherinThelamon
reply to post by AllPraiseToHarith

 

a child is not born into this world with an innate sense to # at the age of 15.

Actually, they are and they do.

I remember how badly I wanted to have sex at 15, it was physically painful at times.

You sound like quite the repressed human being.

so at 15 you were so 'desperate' for a shag it hurt, oh you poor thing you. Glad to say I was never that desperate!
BTW desperatism is not an attractive attribute!

As long as she is not now referred to as "Mommy" and you and wifey are not Grampa and Gramma . . . you taught her right. You only fail your children when you do not teach them about life so they do not have to learn the hard way.

P.S. You need your DAUGHTER to tell your wife. No secrets between parents, but also make her own up to it herself. If you tell your wife, then you are breaking confidentiality you promised.

Originally posted by Metallicus
Thank you all for your thoughtful replies to my situation. We have a wonderful community here at ATS.

I am encouraging my daughter to talk to my wife about what happened. I think my wife will be surprised, but will have a better reaction to this than my daughter expects.

In a way it is a relief that my daughter had this experience. At least I know she handled it in a safe way and she will be wiser the next time.

You did what you had to do in order to protect your daughter's future (I mean the condoms). The situation could have ended up much worse, but I understand how you feel.

Big decision though concerning whether you have your daughter tell your wife, or you tell her on your own. Maybe the answer to that question is that the both of you tell her during a sit down at the same time?

That is what I would do anyway. The power of family united by love and understanding may turn out to be the answer for you here. Good luck. ~$heopleNation

reply to post by LUXUS


Actually unless you are living in make believe fantasy land, becoming sexually active between 14-16 is quite normal.

reply to post by Metallicus


In the end, your child has to walk their own path, alone. You can walk behind them or beside them, but you can't walk it for them....

I remember when my litle sister went off to college in California, our whole family earnestly counseled her about the potential pitfalls, she still tripped up on every single one.

On a lighter note....your story reminds of something a lady I once worked with used to say...when you have a son, you only need to worry about one penis, when you have a daughter - you have to worry about every penis.


All the best to you and your daughter OP, I'm sure she will end up just fine, she has you.

reply to post by kosmicjack


That was some good knowledge that you just kicked out there. ~$heopleNation

Originally posted by LUXUS

Originally posted by LewsTherinThelamon

Originally posted by LUXUS
When I was 15 I didn't even have a conversation with my parents about safe sex because I was a kid....and knew that!

If I did that my father would have swiped his leather belt across my ass, my mother would have been disgusted with me and they might have even threatened to call the police or bring me to the head teacher so as to seriously embarrass me.

That's because people were borderline mentally challenged back then.

Actually, I discipline my daughter the same way every time she poops or allows her cells to divide.

Hate to brake it to you but being sexually active at 15 is not normal, unless you live in povity strikken area in which case totally normal to see 12 year old mums pushing their kids down the road.

First you said 15, then you said 12. Make up your mind.

Also, Scandinavian countries tend to have very different outlooks on sexuality, and they are far from poverty stricken.

The norm in the US is 14-16.
[snip]

** ATTENTION **

Thread Temporarily closed - staff review.