15 Y/O Daughter Lost Virginity to Boyfriend Then He Broke Up With Her

I think that, more than anything, you should be proud. Not only of your daughter for coming to you but, of yourself as well. Not many 15 year old girls have a relationship with their father that makes them comfortable enough to come to him in this situation. I know I sure didn't....but I wish I had.

I know we of the female persuasion don't always make it easy on the men in our lives...but maybe if there were more like you, we might get a little better at it

It's the culture these days, basically "bone what thou wilt".

One thing I know from your thread is, you have done an outstanding job in being a father. Because of this she has had her first sexual experience with some one she loved and respected. Regardless of her age or if she really understands love .

She will have a memory of this and how comfortable and secure she felt in being able to talk to her father about it forever. Yes generally sex is expected to be just an adult activity. But in reality most of us know its not really.

I'm sure most of us would like to have that time over again. I have a horrible, uncomfortable and stupid 16 yr old memory of my first time. Be confident in how you've handled the situation has eased the experience for her. Be confident in her to make the right choices.

When she slips up, be there for her. Let her know that you and your wife are a partnership, you feel uncomfortable keeping it from her. That she must be told and you would prefer it to be from your daughter.

I envy your parent/ daughter relationship, I hope I can have a similar relationship with my children. Well done Dad.

It was consensual, it was safe and they were 15.

Its gonna be hard for your daughter for awhile but she will get over it.
This sort of thing happens ALL THE TIME, its only different now coz its your daughter.

I went through similar stuff when my sis was growing up, I used to worry and be protective of her but then 1 day I was at my GF house while her parents were away. We were both 20 and when her brother came to visit he was nice to me but then I heard him yelling at her for having a man over.

Something in me clicked, I thought Im not doing anything wrong, I treat this girl well, this guys a nutcase.
I realised I was exactly the same as my GFs brother.

I made a decision that day to let my sis make her own mistakes and just be there for her.
She is now 27, shes single but sensible, shes a very attractive girl and Ive seen how she handles sleazy men, Ive never been more proud.

These things are part of growing up, your daughter is smart, she will learn from this.
Just make sure your there for her, provide fatherly attention and affection and your daughter will grow up well balanced and with self respect

P.s to be able to talk about this stuff with your 15 year old daughter is fantastic, you are doing a great job as a father and you most definately have not failed her

She needs to tell your wife, as others have said- though I haven't heard any mention of a need to see a gynie- once a woman is sexually active, she needs to start visiting a gynie once a year, if she hasn't started already. A condom won't protect her from certain STDs, like HPV (which is detected with a pap smear).

My son is 15, and has been dating the same girl since he was 12. I am honestly really surprised that they are still together after almost 3 years. While I know their virginity days are numbered because of the length of their relationship, I NEVER let them be alone together! Never, never, never. All of their dates are at a house with parents present, or in a public place where I can check up on them if I wanted. Luckily, he seems as innocent and naive as I was at that age. I didn't have a boyfriend at that age because I wasn't ready mentally. There is no rush to grow up; you only get to be a kid once.

reply to post by Metallicus


this is why I never wanted girls. And cursed with 3.

can't have peace, ever.. it just sucks dude, a lifetime of worry..

About boyfriends, users, rapists, never going anywhere alone..


JUST SUCKS

life should be better than that

Well, with the way the world, media, TV/movies are today...
Kids are no longer afraid to do anything like my generation was!!!
We were afraid if we let a guy kiss us goodnight on the first date,
we would get a reputation! Kind of liked that better than today's way!
It's more of, not if...but when!

1.) At least she loved the guy.
He wasn't a lot older, or a conniving one night stand.
She didn't lose her virginity during a rape.

2.) Don't tell your wife.
Tell your daughter to tell her.
Daughters need their mothers, especially at a time like this!
Tell her you & your wife are a team.

3.) She came to you & wasn't afraid to discuss it...PRICELESS!!!

She'll be fine!
Congratulations on the relationship you have with her!
WOQ

reply to post by boncho

lol, you straight out accused the male of "using" the female to gain sexual gratification based on this one sided second hand piece of evidence.

reply to post by Metallicus

My fifteen year old daughter ate a meal of food with her boy friend...maybe 4-5 times and then he broke up with her. I really never expected this would happen to me as a father. She is very smart, somewhat conservative and we had all the talks about abstaining from eating...and I trusted her to do stick to our agreement. Last night she told me about her having breakfast with her boy friend and that they broke up. I feel heartbroken and also as if I failed her.

I really thought she was listening to me. I may have made some mistakes along the way. I told her I would love her no matter what which in retrospect almost seems like condoning what she did. I also gave her a spoon and a bowl just in case for her and her friends. I didn't expect for her to use them (although I found out she did which is a good thing). I did these things to be realistic. I did these things because I love her. Now I wonder if I didn't make it easy for her...

I got pretty upset when I found out that my daughter was eating food, too.

Before you know it she'll be defecating like a wild animal.

This isn't your average slippery slope...it's a mountain of Crisco cooking oil.

I really can't stand the thought of these kids growing up with these urges to stuff their faces with anything that comes their way resembling food. They just don't think of the consequences.

What if they choke and no one's around to administer the Heimlich? What if they get food poisoning like botulism? Or what if they just eat too much and it gives them a really bad tummy ache?

I think that, as parents, we have failed. We underestimated the power that biology holds over our youngsters. I was asked when my daughter was born if I wanted to have her stomach removed...I refused, and stupid me, look where it got me. My daughter is addicted to fried chicken. FRIED CHICKEN!

reply to post by Metallicus


Really, though. In all seriousness.

It is unwise to believe that you can somehow protect any of your children from the many things that can harm them. The only thing that you can do is to give them the tools to protect themselves.

Although, when it comes to emotional matters, it is much harder to "protect" oneself. Learning to deal with disappointment is something that only experience can teach us. You do not have the magical solution you want to make it go away, you can only be there for your daughter to support her.

She will be stronger.


And the sex thing is a fruitless battle. You might as well try to convince her hair to stop growing.

Originally posted by Lysergic

It's the culture these days, basically "bone what thou wilt".

That's always been human culture.

Pretty sure the Vikings raped things for fun.

Unfortunately that's a common thing among teens, boys use girls in their teens but women are more empowered come their mid 20's and refuse to deal with these kinds of jokers.

Guy's like him will soon be complaining when they cant hold down your daughter into a relationship because she wants a better standard.

Jokes on him

It's too bad the days of waiting til marriage seem long gone. It's really sad. It's hornyness over actual love half the time it seems. Leaving that half empty and broken, and now only looking to repeat the patern. Well there's not much you can do. Just still try and teach her. Like try and explain how now that she knows better that next time she should wait, or even consider waiting til marriage or something.

As the close friend of a few girls who have gone through the exact same thing as your daughter, I hope it reassures you a little bit when I tell you that the boy does NOT get away with it!

Don't ever doubt yourself, man.

This is just a fluke. A learning experience.

You and your daughter seem pretty close. I could never talk to my parents about anything. I can tell that you're a stellar father. Always be willing to go though hell and high water for her.

I mean it. Get a 12 gauge.

Be that overprotective daddy.

Not a tyrant. Just... not a jellyfish like my father, who couldn't care less what happened. My father is the kind of man who wouldn't even break away from work when his daughter gets hit by a car. That happened. A lot more happened that I won't disclose here... point is, I always hated him for not really caring what happened to me.

You, however, are exactly what your daughter needs. When life is high or low.

Power to you both

reply to post by SearchLightsInc


SearchLightsInc You are a cruel B#!

reply to post by spartacus699


Not necessarily!

Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX
My father is the kind of man who wouldn't even break away from work when his daughter gets hit by a car.

I hate when that happens I got hit by a minivan and ended up twisted around a pole and walked it off I have a very #ed up body because of it and I don't feel much of anything anymore I've even been knifed in the lung my lung collapsed I breath with one lung all the # the italians and lebs did to me in high school is coming back on me in old age I got shrapnel in me from various IED's the kids made with glass coke bottles.

getting hit by a car doesn't hurt as much as you think it should anyway it's more of the shock you get then again I've been dropped off a four story high building onto solid concrete by those assholes in high school when I was just 13 years old! so yeah you got no damn Idea what that feels like feels much like a train hitting you at incredible high speeds NOW THAT HURTS!

I've had a pretty #ed up arserape of a life so yeah! Yay I'm an Immortal zombie dude LOL!

Originally posted by Metallicus

I actually like this guy. He is smart and is probably going places, but like most 15 year old boys he rally wasn't ready for a relationship. He used my daughter and then discarded her. I really feel like crap because I warned her of this very thing. She is a smart girl...I just don't understand this.

Not saying this is exactly how it goes but , 15 year old girls want sex just as much as 15 yr old boys !
be happy that she told you and did have sex with someone she loves !

You cant just think it was the boy who broke up after he got what he wanted
maybe your daughter dumped him after she got what she wanted

if anything the positive is that you have a daughter who will confide in you with something so huge to a 15 year old girl or any 15 year old for that matter !

some kids don't even talk to their parents !

don't feel bad you did the right thing as a parent you listened you supported her and you didn't freak out and go mental !

all I can say is sounds like you have a great working relationship with your kid
but just so this doesn't blow up in your face you should probably discuss this with your wife

after all it could be worse she could be on drugs and be pregnant and dropping out of highschool !
good luck to you being a parent with a teenager in this day n age !

Originally posted by sapien82


Not saying this is exactly how it goes but , 15 year old girls want sex just as much as 15 yr old boys !
be happy that she told you and did have sex with someone she loves !

You cant just think it was the boy who broke up after he got what he wanted
maybe your daughter dumped him after she got what she wanted

Yep your daughter dumped him after she got what she wanted which is what they do 99% of the time because they flip out and can't believe what they felt unlike poor old guys like me that can't feel a thing from the waist down even though I can still walk! I'm a walking paraplegic!