Has your conspiracy, alternative, or paranormal lifestyle ever cost you friends?

Has the nature of your conspiracy, alternative, or paranormal lifestyle ever cost you any friends? Have you ever seen a relationship end because of a disagreement in core beliefs? I used to think I could get along and be friends with anyone. But all too often have I felt the sting of what my views and beliefs bring with them—rejection.

Many of you know that I had a series of paranormal experiences as a teenager. These experiences forced me to seriously rethink my worldview. It was as if my world was shaken and turned upside down. I debated a long time whether to tell someone, but I abstained out of fear of being labeled a “nutjob,” or a “kook.” Even worse, I was afraid of being rejected.

Nonetheless, I desperately needed to tell someone what I was going through, what was happening to me. I made the mistake of telling my then girlfriend; a person I trusted most. It flipped her out, she didn’t know how to react, and we were broken up not long after. I was hoping for some kind of…basic understanding, acknowledgment, and empathy. Instead, I alienated myself.

I was astounded when I lost a good friend years later because I made the mistake of having a different belief. I remember throwing on a movie when entertaining a long-standing childhood friend of mine. We usually had similar tastes in music and movies, so I thought he would get a kick out of my all-time favorite movie 2001: A Space Odyssey. The beginning of the movie has a brief subtext on the evolution of humans. He asked me to stop the movie because he didn’t believe in evolution theory. He proceeded to debate me on the subject although I was unwilling to make it an issue. He seemed determined to prove a point to me rather than just find something else to watch or something else to do. I was speechless! I was willing to agree to disagree and carry on—he was not. He was adamant. This was the last time we saw each other. It’s amazing how one little thing you learn about someone can end the whole friendship. He stopped answering my calls and that...was that.

I also carry with me some religious and spiritual beliefs in addition to my belief in evolution. I had a few dates with this woman I met in a college philosophy class. Interestingly, the class was about world religions and took a bit of a slant towards tolerance. After having a few dates with her, she began to prod me on my spiritual/religious beliefs. She was very outspoken about her beliefs. She felt mine conflicted with hers. I found that I could not appease her if I was to remain honest and steadfast. The relationship ended there. I did not think a difference in beliefs was enough to end what seemed like a promising start to a relationship. I was willing to compromise. She was not.

I am not without guilt. I, myself, have ended a friendship with someone when I found out they were abusing drugs; the really bad ones, the dangerous ones, the damaging ones.

I have also alienated myself from a few family members for talking about some of my beliefs and experiences. Once I was afraid of being called a kook, now I know that it’s more important to speak what’s in your heart than to be afraid of being rejected. When you keep silent about what you feel compelled to express, you are really just rejecting yourself.

Has anyone else seen a friendship or relationship fall apart for these seemingly stupid reasons? Conversely, has anyone seen a friendship or relationship strengthened in some way as a result of talking about these beliefs in conspiracy, alternative, paranormal etc?

I have one strengthening story actually. My estranged father and I developed a closer relationship after sharing a bit about our paranormal sides. My dad was a night trucker for a long time in his career. I decided to break the ice and ask if he ever listened to Coast To Coast AM with Art Bell while on his route. I was looking for some common ground. To my astonishment, he answered "I've been listening for years." He then shared with me some of his paranormal experiences that he was always afraid to tell anyone about.

This thread gave me 100% deja vu like you already asked us this before.

Answer is still yes btw. The things I had to say about 9/11 certainly took it's toll but it never bothered me they left because if they were real friends they would've stayed like my friends today.

Yup ex wife for one
She thought I was a nutcase but it wasn't the only reason she left me

Originally posted by yourmaker
This thread gave me 100% deja vu like you already asked us this before.

I promise I didn't. I just checked all my thread titles and everyone is welcome to do the same. I try to make every thread of mine count instead of repeating themes and ideas.

I'm sure this question has appeared in numerous threads though. It's hardly an original idea.

If you find that I have, in fact, repeated myself, please let me know and I will ask a mod to close this thread.

(Reptile avatar is awesome )

The Path tends to lead you away from realities which have been created out of ignorant necessity. After walking this path for so long, you can still turn around and see the friends and family you grew up with, loves lost - but the space between two fields can be infinite - you are as close to the furthest expanse of the universe as you are distant from your estranged wife. Just find others, don't worry about those who have abandoned their quests.

reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha

Me and my 'friends' don't talk about such things..They're too scared and confused to.

I hate to say, but you seem to be having this problem with multiple people, at that point I would suggest looking in a mirror for the root of the problem.

I can entertain an Idea with out excepting it, I have a wide group of friends from different walks of life with different religious and socioeconomic levels.

We meet and discuss at length, a wide selection of hot button topics, never a one leaving with any hurt feelings. Adults can discuss and debate with out getting personally hurt by it.

It could be your approach to such conflicting views, or it could be the type of people who you choose to associate with, either way you can't change them only how you deal with them.

The reason I say the above is because I have a "SUPER" Conspiracy friend, hes the type that spams face book with CRAZY stuff, things ATS laughs at. Hes the type that if he sees you drinking a soda he will tell you all the poisons you are drinking and how he doesn't do that to his body, very opinionated and pushy with them.

ITs gotten to the point where I am distancing myself from him, simply because the irrational way in which he argues is not something I feel the time or energy needed to engage him. Ive jokingly suggested he tone it down before he gets on a list and locked up, but to him that would be the goal to prove everything he says is right...

reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha


Yes.

Now, I keep my mouth hush. Even fools are wise when they keep silent.

reply to post by benrl


Yes, it might appear that way since I've only told one group of stories and left out stories of my successful friendships (which are few.) I know it's popular to blame the victim around here, but if anything, I've been accused of being too neutral!

Originally posted by NarcolepticBuddha
reply to post by benrl

 

Yes, it might appear that way since I've only told one group of stories and left out stories of my successful friendships (which are few.) I know it's popular to blame the victim around here, but if anything, I've been accused of being too neutral!

The victim? so you consider yourself a victim?

Ill simply tell you what I have learned in my life, I can't change you, I can only change how I respond to you.

Your problem is truly internal, if your group of friends that are anti conspiracy and you can't handle them being that or they can't handle that you are pro-conspiracy, well its on you to change not them, either get different friends, or acknowledge the people you chose to hang out with are not mature enough to have an adult conversation on speculative topics.

In the end the choice is always yours, you are only a victim to your own choices and decision making.

reply to post by benrl


No, I didn't say I was a victim. I'm asking if anybody has lost friends due to a disagreement in core beliefs or worldviews. I'm glad you have never experienced this. I have, and it's very immature indeed. I believe that there is no difference too great that it should separate two people. I'm addressing it as an unfortunate fact of life. It sucks losing friends over petty reasons, but oh well, it's their choice, not mine. I'm just curious as to why you're trying to speculate on who I am and what my character flaws are. I'm not perfect, but I'm not pushing my beliefs on anybody. Like you said, I ran into some immature people.

reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha
I have lost friends in the past because they became too scared to come back to my house, and in some cases scared to be around me. Wherever I live the house always has at least a few spirits of some sort (maybe the same ones are following me around) and it has been that way since my childhood. Some of them like to "do tricks" sometimes and freak people out. In the past I've had guests who have run from my house in terror, and others who have been completely fascinated.

When my kids hit their teen years and it started becoming a serious problem (other kids got scared and wouldn't come back and spread their personal stories around school causing problems for my kids socially) I finally had enough. I ran everyone out of the house for a bit and had a stern "talking to" with the spirits and let them know in no uncertain terms that if they didn't chill out I would force them out. Since then they have calmed down tremendously and seldom "come out to play" but the friends I and the rest of my family lost never came back to us. It's sad, but I understand.

Originally posted by benrl
I hate to say, but you seem to be having this problem with multiple people, at that point I would suggest looking in a mirror for the root of the problem.

I can entertain an Idea with out excepting it, I have a wide group of friends from different walks of life with different religious and socioeconomic levels.

We meet and discuss at length, a wide selection of hot button topics, never a one leaving with any hurt feelings. Adults can discuss and debate with out getting personally hurt by it.

It could be your approach to such conflicting views, or it could be the type of people who you choose to associate with, either way you can't change them only how you deal with them.

The reason I say the above is because I have a "SUPER" Conspiracy friend, hes the type that spams face book with CRAZY stuff, things ATS laughs at. Hes the type that if he sees you drinking a soda he will tell you all the poisons you are drinking and how he doesn't do that to his body, very opinionated and pushy with them.

ITs gotten to the point where I am distancing myself from him, simply because the irrational way in which he argues is not something I feel the time or energy needed to engage him. Ive jokingly suggested he tone it down before he gets on a list and locked up, but to him that would be the goal to prove everything he says is right...

edit on 15-6-2013 by benrl because: (no reason given)

Sir, if I may make a point here for you to consider - the average IQ in America is 100, and if I am not mislead on what passes for common knowledge; that number is disturbingly low when considering the massive amount of information which must be assimilated by the human mind in a problematic society such as ours A friend like yours, while seemingly zealous and wayward in his apprehension of the dangers of society, or the Man at large, is required in order to set a limit whereupon one can reflect.I mean really, if we can split hairs for conversation's sake, Aspartame is a sordid tale unto itself: Searle created it, Rumsfeld oversaw the merger of Searle and Monsanto, Rumsfeld went on to serve an important role in the implementation of PNAC and today's encroaching GMO Fed, War-Fueld State; where a company like Monsanto contracts with mercenaries like Blackwater/Xi/whatevertheirrecentnameis, as the battle rages in court over whether or not these sons of bitches can patent our genetic code. Everything is connected- no detail should be left unscrutinized.

..However,
we are dealing with fairly stupid people (no offense stupid people, but you are killing us all lol), of whom believe their uneducated opinions are enough to hold sway in the courts of reality and act in large groups in order to perpetuate their ignorance - and the media capitalizes on this magnificently. This is history folks, it is easier to rally around a lie than it is the truth.

Anyways. I just like to talk sometimes. Later, Skaters

reply to post by littled16


Wow! So your paranormal experiences affected both you and your friends firsthand! That's interesting. Thanks for sharing your unique spin on how these "lifestyle" differences can affect our relationships...not that having ghosts in the house is a lifestyle choice

Usually just talking about these subjects is enough to turn some people off.

I still think that anybody can be friends if they work at it though. Takes determination on both sides

No . I've never lost anyone over my beliefs.Most of my friends believe in the paranormal . A few have had weird experiences with me so..... ,but I have one friend who will not discuss Sandy Hook with me .
She staunchly believes it all occurred as they said it did in the media ,and I do not.
Even if I bring up obvious glaring points of ridiculous holes in all of it ,she says its an insult to the people who died that day .
So,I just cannot discuss it in front of her ,at all .
But no,never lost a friend for that ....

reply to post by littled16


And the similarities continue . I'm beginning to think we were separated at birth .
I never lost anyone for any of this,permanently ,but I had to do the scolding ,CUT IT OUT ,OR I WILL PUT YOU OUT ! because of the cats . They were teasing the cats a lot ,and they tormented one .
Mommy will not allow this . Period

When I became open about my experiences and started to seriously look into them, I lost a lot of friends. They thought I was weird. In fact, I lost/gave up all of my friends and had to start over. No one expected me to be a "sensitive" for lack of a better word.
I found it to be a lonely path most of the time.
I am glad the internet came along because I suddenly found a lot of people who had the same interests.

But yeah, being open about what I experienced and continue to experience has cost me a lot of friends. Usually it is religion that gets involved and misunderstanding about what it is I do and am. Even some family distanced themselves as most of my family are missionaries, or die hard christian.

Even the family I really liked did me wrong, burning my tarot.
Now the ones I don't like seem to be the most supportive.
strange.

I remember being called a "half fag" (please excuse the name, I don't even like to say it) because I see was practicing aura gazing.

I was not aware that being psychic is a gay thing?!?!
Perhaps it is because I am so in tune with myself.

Apparently where I live, people think this way. I don't get it.

reply to post by Darkblade71


Thanks for adding your experience, I really appreciate it.

I once heard a really good bit of wisdom when I started out on my "journey." It was from someone who understood what I was about. She said, "the path to enlightenment is the loneliest." I have come to find that it's true. The higher you climb up that mountain, the fewer there are to share the view with you.

I too feel much scorn because of my fringe political beliefs! The truth is that politics as well as religious beliefs run deep emotionally! Most times it's best to keep off these subjects especially when dealing with friends and family! I realize there are times where we are faced with questions by those around us and then persecuted with our opinions or laughed and scoffed at! I now refuse to discuss political and religious beliefs with anyone but like minded individuals because of past fights I seem to get into! If someone starts talking politics and I know they are
emotionally unstable I will either leave the room or ask they show some respect and not discuss political views because of deep seated emotions!
It is Obvious to me that each of us gets our opinions through mostly biased material and as such it is almost impossible to get an absolute truth unfettered from some ones biases! As this is the shape of reality with truth almost never being absolute but instead being relative to our perspective! We must always consider this when stating or hearing opinions of the world around us!

I haven't really lost any friends, as I don't take friendship lightly and I tend to build friendships around commonalities (which can be few), but, I definitely know my boundaries in these friendships. Outwardly, I seem socially adept, for the most part. But, inside my head, I know I am a social outcast. The things that interest me do not interest most people I've met, or are friends with. Most people's thinking is too rigid; it is extremely difficult for many to entertain a thought outside of what they are familiar with, even if it means not having to accept it. The fact is, I find it funny that I can sit and listen to anyone, and entertain, or even tolerate an idea or a possibility, while so many people absolutely refuse to do the same thing. That makes it extremely difficult to share all of myself with people. Open-mindedness is rarer than common sense, it seems. I don't even bother socialising with the opposite sex on an intellectual level; I keep it mostly at surface value, using humour to warm women up. This is bad, but I feel frustrated socialising any other way. But, socialising on what I deem as shallow discussion, or petty discussion/"small talk" is stifling, and uninspiring, so I'm not a very social person for this reason. Some may say I take Life too serious, but it is not that. I'm one of the most care-free, humorous people I know, but I hate having to hide myself. And that's just it; I'm constantly hiding myself.

I've done a few unintentional social experiments on facebook, and what I've realised is reflected in my, and people like us' real life. When I discuss trends, or make any small talk on facebook, I get tons of replies on my wall. But, if I even try to bring up things of graver importance and significance to human life, I'm usually left talking with myself, with no responses, outside of having 1, or 2 likes by people who I know don't really understand what I'm talking about. That, alone, has been a huge deterrent for me to share myself to the world. It has gotten so bad, that, I don't write about anything anymore. I wrote a lot, mostly poetry and Hip Hop, to sort of balance out the me that gets locked away from the rest of the world, from fear of rejection and the hassle of defending myself and views, but...I haven't written in a very long time. It feels pointless now.