People are getting ruder

reply to post by smyleegrl


I can attest to that explanation. I lost my best and only friend not long ago because I was unbelievably-- especially to myself-- abrupt with her about something. Incidentally, she was an online friend, and I'm not exactly known for having stellar social skills.

Ahh yes, one of my pet peeves..
I work in retail, at an extremely busy fuel retailer near Melbourne Airport.
Ohh, the things i could say, and the things i can't.
Yes, people are becoming ruder and more self-centered.
I know it is across all levels of society, but in my 10 years of retail it seems that the
better peoples credit cards/cars are, the ruder they are, esp those with AMEX cards (esp the platinum ones...), and Merc's,
BMW's and Audi's..
I'm not a violent person, but some of these people i just want to punch!
God forbid they come to a busy servo and have to wait in line, their waaaay to important for that!!


End Of Rant, for now..lol.

reply to post by xDeadcowx


Being a bit ruder over the phone can be largely due to the fact that some callers spend the first 10 minutes of their time communicating with a computer asking for account numbers, name, address, exactly what they want to discuss, and then finally, a person answers the phone and begins by asking, "can I have your account number?"
I quit talking to computers a long time ago. If a computer calls me, I hang up. If I call a place and a computer answers, I hit "0" or do nothing until an operator answers.

This goes along with drive thru restaurants as well. Rather than hearing "Welcome to restaurant, can I take your order please?", I hear "Would you like to try our extra large fatty hamburger today?" When I say no thank you, there is usually no response from the other end until a minute or so later when they ask, "Well, what do you want, then?".

Overall though, I agree with the OP. It does seem that basic manners have been thrown out. Some of it has to do with society in general. In a "dog eat dog" world, people will often start growling to ensure nobody bites first.

reply to post by Snsoc


If you really want to get a feel for rudeness, walk the hallways or observe a classroom in your local high school. Manners, respect and decorum are out the window my friend. Be prepared because it's only going to get worse. The only thing the younger generation respects now are video games, cell phones, violence and being able to use the "F" bomb in every sentence.

reply to post by Snsoc


Part of the problem is that it's a big city - at east here in Michigan, the two types of cities where people are extremely not helpful (or nice) are where the people are really poor, or really rich.

I used to work over in Birmingham, MI, which was a big step for a "country boy" like me (grew up in a small farming community - not many tech jobs there). You wouldn't believe how many times I got sneered at because I didn't have a wallet big enough to afford 3-piece suits, even in the lines at the Kroger there (I mean, come on, last I checked Kroger catered to everyone). My car stalled out in my work's parking lot out there, and no-one even offered to help - had to call my Dad to get the battery charged up. The worst was when driving out there - I swear that the people thought they were rich enough that they could walk down the middle of the street without at least looking to see if you were passing.

Ironically enough, I went to Downtown Detroit for an interview a couple months after Birmingham, and one of the scariest looking guys actually helped me find my interview place - something I wasn't expecting. Learned that day that not all Detroit is a nasty place, and that sometimes, there are nice people there.

Now, I live out of the way in a very "natural" place - there's no main town (I live in a township), and my first day here I lost a headlight - one of my neighbors came over and offered that as long as I buy the part, he'd help to show me how to replace the light so I could get back home. Everyone out here is middle-income, and even if they don't like you they still make an effort to ask how your day went - the only ones I've ever seen getting the nasty treatment are those blasting their radios.

-fossilera

I think people in bigger more crowded cities tend to be mare alert of their surroundings, quicker to respond to conflict, and yeah, they will comment fast, and loud, and likely if at all, vulgarly. They have a low threshold tolerance for slow and backwards. Being in a big city is like playing soccer, you have to keep it up and get to your purposeful destination as soon as you can, never stopping around acting lost or else you might get predators.

They aren't getting ruder. It might be considered rude to approach a total stranger and ask them where to eat. As a tourist, hotels are good resources for strangers, even if you aren't staying there, and they happen to have restaurants. Expect to be hated for being a sloppy driver. Seattle people fight tooth and nail to keep a car good in a crowded city. You'd think in a city loaded with coffee shops one of them would be a cyber cafe where you could make your own decisions instead of using the locals for tour guides. Honestly many locals don't know good places to eat because they eat at home.

I agree with the belief that people are becoming ruder. It's a fact that I took more notice of a few years ago and it only seems to be increasing. However, it's not just the big city scenario often cited in the previous post replies. I observe it almost daily out and about (I recently moved to Dallas, having lived in NYC and L.A.), on the news, on Facebook, and on internet sites. (Have you ever read some of the comments to articles posted online or youtube videos?)

A lot of people seem to think it's entertaining or witty to be rude, mean-spirited or down right vicious. Then often they will complain when someone addresses them in the same manner. It's pretty ridiculous.

Bullies at school, news commentators, online magazine "journalists", gossip sites (e.g. Perez Hilton), Lady Gaga fans... the list goes on. I've been turned off by some of the replies posted in topics on this very site.

reply to post by Snsoc


People have been desensitized. Along with so many chemicals in food, from fast food to Monsanto. There is no wonder why this is happening!

Originally posted by Snsoc

That did it. I lost my patience, and said something that I thought was clever, something to do with how the girl on his arm was there because she was paid to be.

And he steps into the street. "What was that?" he said.

This guy wanted to fight me! He started it, yelling at me abusively, and when I dared speak to him in kind, he wanted to kick my a$$. Unbelievable.

So you called a girl who was doing nothing to you a whore (and she was a complete stranger) and then were shocked and appalled that you were about to get beat down by the man she was with?

At first I thought the iphone comment in response to your request for a restaurant was rude and I felt for you. I am not so sure about your judgement. You did completely fail at guiding the car into the space. That's pretty dumb, especially considering you had both been drinking. Then you almost bit off more than you could chew by making a nasty comment directed at a woman and when you were about to get served up like you should have been, you cowered down and weaseled out of the situation. According to your account.

I feel really bad that some lame yuppie was rude to you in front of his girlfriend, especially considering you're quick to allude to random strangers being a paid companion in the form of a verbal assault.

Nope, its always like that in City, especially big cities... where people's life and value goes down...

Someone gets into an accident.... bystanders take out their phone... you would assume to call 911, but... they take photos instead.

However, i would not say everyone in the city is like that.... but you will find more of those snobs if you go downtown in a major city.

For example... i live in Toronto, Canada. The people attitude is totally different if you go downtown Toronto... especially if they live their... they just assume they are better than you. I only met few who were nice

I, too am surprised about the rude treatment in Seattle. Been there several times without a hitch.

Possibly some of the behavior comes from some of us who were brought up in the '60's. I was, but I have always been inherently polite. Others, "dropped out, turned on, etc." They had no interest in what anybody tried to instill in them regarding the right thing to do.

Now, these rude people are products-children/grandchildren-of the '60's crowd, who had no politeness instilled in them. To them, being rude is the norm. That's the way society is now. There isn't a way of culling the offenders out, legally. and it's pervaded throughout society: government, sports, schools, TRAFFIC (!)

Tough world we live in.I'm almost happy to be on the other side of 60.

Originally posted by whyamIhere
The only way to teach rude people is by example.

You see, they don't know any better. There is a 90% chance their parents act like that.

Never stoop to their level. It encourages them.

You will find rude people everywhere. Class has very little to do with it.

Besides, I thought all the rude people moved to California.

Or maybe it just seems like that.

Yes, but we had to put more rude people in Washington, DC to even it up!
Seriously, people from the midwest are so nice and polite and they usually don't judge on appearances. A good reason for that is the guy in the jeans with the old Bronco is probably a multimillionaire pig farmer.

People watch tens of thousands of murders on the teevee now before they hit college age. They're zombies filled with weird religious teachings, dysfunctional families and jobs they hate.

It's a wonder anyone is EVER polite.

Originally posted by MrJohnSmith

People who feel the need to have a mobile phone conversation at the top of their voices.

Indeed, I especially love those who continue to use their phone while talkig to others, like at a check out or so. Or even better, discuss some very personal matters loud enough so everyone within 5 meters can hear all of it...

And yes, it is really bad if you work in retail
Just look here
notalwaysright.com...

Originally posted by torque
If the guy was mouthing off, why imply that his gf is a whore? That seems pretty rude.

I don't think you're familiar with trolling.

When you're trying to take the wind out of somebody's sails you say anything you can to drive them into an emotional frenzy. People lose credibility when they go into an emotional frenzy and end up looking like an idiot in front of everybody else.

Oddly enough, people get more worked up when you say something about their family/friends/romantic significant other than if you were to say something about the actual person themselves. Even 10 minutes of reading about basic psychology can teach you how to use people's evolutionary traits against them lol.

Anyways, people that go around looking for problems like he did are stupid. Sure, 90% of the time he will get away with it, but one day he's going to bother the wrong person and end up with a knife in his abdomen. It always catches up to people eventually. He's just a wannabe alpha male trying to impress his girlfriend/wife. She won't be impressed when he eventually gets turned inside out by some big biker someday. You can only win so many times lol.

I typically do not have people be rude to me.. the last time someone was rude to me was when i got flipped off at an intersection by some retard who was jay walking on the opposite lane. I snapped and cleaned his clock and then went my merry way.

He was full of anger for some reason and so was I.. I think it was work for me not sure for him.. i sure felt better after that venting.

It is everywhere - especially on the highways. What you are witnessing, in my opinion, is the gradual degradation of our society......just the last few years things really started picking up.

What you are seeing is how people are going to react when things really start getting bad.

reply to post by MidnightTide


That's a good observation. If things did get really ugly is the short tempered aggressive behavior going to get worse? It's been happening to me for a few months now. One Blinker is out on taillight of my vehicle so am using my hand signal (fuse keeps blowing). I get honked at and even screamed at as I drive because of this (like 3 times in the last month). I'm super careful in am attempt to be clearly seen. Brake lights work, etc. It has actually made me so mad a couple of times I wanted to turn around to go and ask if they read their driving manual. I assume they think I'm waving at them and just slowing down for this rather than turning. It definitely puts people on the defensive when others are confrontational. People are for sure more rude and aggressive. If your a nice person, which I am as I was raised to be so, they think its superficial (some) and even this can't warm their spirit enough to be kind until they've tested by throwing some abuse your way to see if you sustain.

I have no idea why people are lashing out as they are but venture to guess that rudeness is a way to distance oneself in order to avoid being taken advantage of. People don't trust others like they used to and depersonalization is now the norm. My experience with southern folks (especially males) has always been positive - call you ma'am, open doors, etc. Western states like Washington - maybe catch a kind person out of every 10 in my experience.

reply to post by LizardSlicks


I'll agree that I didn't exercise good judgement all around.

If I just wanted to get everyone's sympathy, I would have just told the first story. I knew, when posting the second, that it didn't make me look good, but one example of someone being rude does not make a very good case for a society-wide decline in manners.

And just so we're clear: I didn't just call his girlfriend a whore. After I said "I love you, man" for the second time-still trying to return goodness for anger, he was still angry and abusive about an accident that didn't involve him. I took stock of his good looks and nice clothes and decided to pi** him off. I knew that most guys with money are smart enough not to risk assault charges, so I was surprised when he threw down. I actually expected him to say "F you," and leave it at that.

I said something like, "I love your girlfriend too! I'm sure if I had your money, she'd be on my arm tonight." (I know, not exactly a Tyrion Lannister level of wit being displayed, but I was drunk and ramped up.)

Maybe I'm "slow and backwards" as another poster suggested, but I was thrown by the guy getting in my face about something that didn't involve him, and more surprised by his continued antagonism, despite my attempts to defuse him. It was only after these two shocks that I decided that he had earned a rude remark. If he was some kind of defender of the lady's honor, he had a very strange code of chivalry, one that allowed him to scream at strangers for making mistakes and ignore entreaties for peace