People are getting ruder

I'm from a small town in the Midwest, and we were raised to be polite. If someone asks for your help, you either help them, or instruct them where they can go to get that help. If someone makes a mistake in public, you don't shout things at them. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all, right?

So, last year, I went to Seattle for a job interview. There were a lot of other applicants, and the interviews and testing took all day, and at one point we broke for lunch. A group of us went walking around looking for a restaurant. We only had half an hour, and none of us had ever been to Seattle. So after five minutes of walking around aimlessly, I addressed a young couple crossing the empty street.

"Excuse me," I said. "Do you know of any good restaurants around here?"

The guy looked at me like I had just pooped on his shoes. "Why don't you just use the restaurant app on your iPhone?" he sneered, with extreme condescension.

Well, I don't have an iPhone. Can't afford one. (That's why I was in Seattle for a job interview.) I was absolutely stunned by this guy's rudeness and class hatred. I turned to the five other people with me and asked them, "Does anyone have an iPhone?" Nobody did. We were all poor. The man and woman kept walking without another word.

A few months later, another incident. I was out having some drinks with a lady friend. She has an enormously long car and asked me to help her parallel park it. (That sounds dirty, but it's not.) It was dark, we were a little buzzed, and she didn't feel comfortable parking the car or letting me do it. So I got out, and was directing her into the space, and she backed too far. Crunch. She hit another parked car, with no owner in sight.

Now, normally, what happens in this case is that everyone involved swears a little bit, looks at the damage, and leaves a note with their information on the other person's windshield. Before we could do of any of this, some guy across the street starts flipping &*^% at me.

"Oh, nice guidance!" he screamed. I looked up. Again, a guy and his female companion. At first, I thought it was maybe his car, or that he thought we were going to run away without leaving our information. But he kept walking, so I knew it wasn't his car. And he didn't say, "Leave your information, bro!" He just yelled it again. He sounded like he wanted to start something with me. He was a well-dressed guy, too; looked like he was from out of town.

So I cheerily called out, "Love you man!" And he replied, "Nice f_____ guidance, a_______!"

That did it. I lost my patience, and said something that I thought was clever, something to do with how the girl on his arm was there because she was paid to be.

And he steps into the street. "What was that?" he said.

This guy wanted to fight me! He started it, yelling at me abusively, and when I dared speak to him in kind, he wanted to kick my [snip]. Unbelievable.

So I backed down, my friend left her info, and we called a cab, as we should have in the first place. But WTF? It's none of that guy's business. He wasn't a concerned citizen trying to right a wrong, he was a rich douche looking to kick some 99% [snip], and I almost gave him the opportunity.

What amazed me the most is that in both incidents, the women on the arms of these jerks didn't scold them for their rudeness, but stayed silent. It used to be that if a man was uncouth that his lady would gently try to calm him down, but these women seemed totally on board with this behavior.

What do you think?

It looks like I will not be visiting Seattle anytime soon. To be honest the cities always seem to bring out the creeps. I have been to places like downtown Sacramento (The city of Sacramento), Reno, Nevada, and other cities. A lot of people either like to start problems because they think they're tough. Some people have problems with their mentality or drugs and alcohol that make them go crazy. I have seen people screaming like maniacs at random objects; people openly doing drugs; etc. There are a lot of yahoos in the world. I never had a problem with rich people though. Maybe it's how they conduct themselves or they're afraid because I'm tall and big person. Where a lot of people might think I'll be stronger then them. It's terrible to have that happen. But it is what it is.

reply to post by Snsoc


You are quite right, and it is everywhere. I like to think I'm old fashioned in my values, and will hold doors open for ladies, etc, only to have everyone pile through and then give me a disparaging look for not holding the door open for everybody !

I walk a lot, and around town, people can't even be bothered to look where they are going, or couldn't care less if they block the pavement ( Sidewalk ? ) whilst having a conversation.

School kids ( Teenagers.) who stand talking in groups on the pavement, so that people have to walk in to the road to pass them.

People who feel the need to have a mobile phone conversation at the top of their voices.

People who think it is funny when their dogs try to have a go at my dogs, and can't be bothered to control them.

Not to mention a lack of " Please " and " Thank you " when being served in shops...

People who will stand and watch, if someone has had an accident or is in physical danger.

People in the street having a loud conversation, including swearing.

It is not just the young people either. The older generations can be equally rude.

I suppose rudeness is contagious, whereas politeness isn't , necessarily.

Lastly, it is ( Or was ! ) customary in the U.K. to say " Hello " to people in the street, if deemed appropriate.
Quite often, I find myself being ignored, or looked at as though I'm crazy, these days...Their loss.

Having said all this, there are some good folk out there, young and old....not all bad.

reply to post by Snsoc


P.s. I forgot to mention the car drivers who feel they have to park on pavements, and ignore red traffic lights, to the frustration of pedestrians...

I'm so glad you wrote this thread. I was telling my girlfriend the other day that it seems like everyone who come in contact is either rude or just hateful. Its like a cancer it spreads and before you know it, you're rocking the attitude with the rest of them.

reply to post by Snsoc


I'm sorry you experience rudeness. It happens here and there around my town, I live near Memphis, TN in north Mississippi. There are so many different walks of life around here and yes some can be rude, but I give a huge smile and stay positive. I don't let someone's rudeness upset me cause I feel then I'm falling into the negativity that is surrounding them, so I try to let my smile shine some sunshine towards the rude ones

Peace and love to you friend
-nat the blue eyed cat-

If the guy was mouthing off, why imply that his gf is a whore? That seems pretty rude.

1986 - Melbourne.

Raining, cold, 5pm late afternoon, I'm new, first day there... they have these funny things called Trams in melb. Not in WA where I live. We have trains and busses. Not a hybrid half breed.

So I'm wondering how the heck do I get back to my hotel after having wandered the bleak city scape and I hop on a tram.

"Excuse me, do you*"
"No."

I look at the tram driver and continue "... know if this tram goes towards the city?"

"Oh. Yes."

Rudeness is the one thing that can guarantee a very unnecessary amount of swearing and anger from this little ol' puttycat.

It's the one thing I can't stand from a stranger, unwarranted attitude, especially when everything is going swimmingly up until someone decides their bad day needs to be my bad day.

Ahh i say this, I've been worrying about a delivery I am yet to receive, and it inevitably results in me having to go to the post office and argue with the stupid witch there that I do not have photo ID, I have the card that was delivered to my house, here is my only ID, give me my mail or we'll have to play this game with broken things.

tend to agree with you OP

im afraid an important reason for that is the' 1 liner culture '
people are trained to Oversymplify everything into 1 soundbite

indifferent how complex [ and thus sensitive ] any topic is,
and how many aspects could be considered from a delicate topic,

its teached to them only the 1 liner what defines ány topic
[ which, ofcourse, can never be the truth but is a rude generalization of it ]

we get 1 dimensional people

computer people
who can think only in 'yes ' or ' no '
or in 1 or 0

non-humans

horrible.

I can sadly relate to your feelings, OP. I'm also in the Midwest and can say that the guy who gave you grief over the car incident would have gotten his OWN grief saying such rude things in this town, if others overheard the convo. I think these guys are trying to impress the girls...and scary enough, the girls are into it or it wouldn't be done in front of them a second time.

I hate to say it, but being all over the nation with this in trucking, I learned real early on how to avoid being screwed with. It goes back to what people used to call the 'green horn' look among truckers. I never understood what they could mean by that, when I was brand new myself. Then, in time, I came to know. I generally carried a look of 'My day has gone like crap, YOU look like a good person to take it out on... PLEASE give me any excuse'.

It rarely ever extended beyond that general scowl/look, but it's amazing how a well practiced one has an effect on people ...and yeah, I came to notice other truckers with more than a year or two out there had about that same look. The lack of it, as I came to realize, was that 'New Guy' smell people talked about when I carried it myself. err..... Damn it was obvious once one became sensitive to it.

Anyway.. Just be careful on that challenging people thing. You never know when the guy your saying something to may be Ted Bundy between victims or Jeffery Dahmer, feeling a bit hungry for dinner. Seriously..it's a crazy world and we just can't know how close others are to going off in lethal ways, IMO.

reply to post by Snsoc
I've been to Seattle and had the exact opposite experience there. Everyone was really friendly to my husband and I. We even got lost wandering about town on foot and when we asked for directions someone went out of their way and escorted us to where we were trying to get, pointing out interesting places along the way. I found it to be a very laid back sort of place and wouldn't hesitate to visit again.

Originally posted by torque
If the guy was mouthing off, why imply that his gf is a whore? That seems pretty rude.

It was, and I'm not proud of it. Well, I did say "people" are getting ruder. Including me.

It's catching. They drag you down to their level.

I'm glad you started this thread too. I was raised to respect my elders, say "please" and "thank you"," yes ma'am" or sir" and when it was my brother and I in a group of adults, we did not speak unless spoken to. And like you said in the OP, my mom drilled into my head such things as "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all" or "Pretty is as pretty does." Whenever I see people devolving into this rudeness and hostility toward their fellow man, I always think of this quote:


"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their
skulls split as a general thing." -Robert E. Howard

Star and flag for you, OP.

I work in customer support and i can fully agree with the OP. People are getting ruder, more demanding, and less patient.

When i first started my career taking phone calls for tech support, or billing issues, people were generally pretty polite and willing to work with me to get an issue resolve. There has always been the occasional angry person, but they were few and far between.

Over the last year it has seemed to be getting much worse. People call in irately angry from the second i answer the phone. They demand something that is completely irrational and refuse to budge, or reach any kind of compromise. A lot of the time i can snap them out of it with simple logic and patience, but not always. Ive even had to start asking the more extreme cases to "please call back when you more willing to discuss this in a rational matter".

I dont know if its the stress of life, the economy, or some unknown global pandemic turning people into irrational angry people, but as someone on the front lines with something like this, it scares the crap out of me.

DC

reply to post by Snsoc


thats nothing, wait till you visit San Francisco on Main st, from 6:30 pm-4am the show gets wild . Your encounter with the seattle douche would seem like a slight breeze of fresh air on the face.

its not that they are getting ruder its that people are transforming into complete a-holes. nobody has parents anymore, nobody cares anymore, everyone is just stuck in their sickness. including violence

reply to post by littled16


yeah another thing i forgot to add is that in the city youll get a certain respect in the way you look.

they way you talk, the way you look, the way you walk all of that matters to people and they see it. So if people dont like the way you look and the way you walk then youll certainly get a beating from them no matter what.

If they dont like the way you walk but they like that way you dress then youll get half n' half treatment.

Im not just making this all up, besides the fact that i know what im talking about, there are also social psychology experiments which back up what i just said

reply to post by Snsoc


what a sad story....

i am also well mannered and enjoy helping others,,,
and yes i have also noticed the same, people are getting ruder,,, and even small children are vicious...

but i have to admit,,, i turn into a ape-man if i see someone bothering my sweetheart,,,
the change happens instantly and i have no control of my actions....

but never unprovoked.

The only way to teach rude people is by example.

You see, they don't know any better. There is a 90% chance their parents act like that.

Never stoop to their level. It encourages them.

You will find rude people everywhere. Class has very little to do with it.

Besides, I thought all the rude people moved to California.

Or maybe it just seems like that.

i'm the nicest person in the streets but the moment you cross me I become so nasty...

I especially don't take kindly to people like that guy yelling at you about guidance.
I would've have trolled him into getting his ass anonymously kicked.

I was reading a psychology journal article about this just the other day. According to the article, the main problem is that people are more self-centered and ego-centric, and that some of our technology is contributing to this. We're always in our own little world, on our iPhones or what have you, and we become totally apathetic to those around us.

Whenever I'm confronted by a someone being incredibly rude, like a parent, I try and turn it back around on them. It takes practice but it works. The trick is to be sincere and smile. Mirror neurons will help diffuse the situation instead of escalating it (mirror neurons are what cause us to smile when others smile, laugh when others laugh, etc).

So the next time someone starts yelling at you, take a deep and calming breath, smile, and turn their accusation back around.