Pat Robertsons Advice to Wives of Cheating Husbands

reply to post by FlyersFan

Are husbands just expected to cheat (or 'wander a bit' as Robertson called it?). Is it automatically the wifes fault for not 'having a nice home' or 'nice homelife'??

No and no.

A promise is a promise. Wife or Husband, Male or Female it doesn't make any difference.

Both parties are guilty. Where is the communication of needs and desires being expressed that either partner has to find "that" in the arms or bed of another? Man or Woman this is just wrong. It's a blatent disrespect of the partners feelings whether it's a "Healthy" relationship or not. If this is the type of behavior either party has emulated they should not be in a relationship. Comprimise helps chug a relationship along, not at a single point in anyones lives who has been in or are currently in a successful relation have never comprimised, sometime you have to give more, sometimes you can be the taker when the other does something for there loved one. There is no greater or lesser, there is just blatent disrespect for the individual your in a committed realationship with.

Let this thread not be one sided and point out both sides are just as bad.

Now when I get home I'll tell my fiancee' to make me some blueberry pancakes, then make love to her

reply to post by sulaw


Fiancee and not wife, wait a moment, under Pat perfect world that is a sin, you are living in sin.

Originally posted by FlyersFan
Pat Robertsons Cheating Advice Sparks Outrage

Pat Robertsons cheating advice didn’t go over as well as he may have hoped. The evangelist, who appeared on Thursday’s 700 Club, responded to a woman pleading for advice on how to forgive her husband’s cheating by saying, “well, he’s a man.” ........ “Recognize also, like it or not, males have a tendency to wander a little bit. What you want to do is make a home so wonderful that he doesn’t want to wander.”

So women are just supposed to put up with it because men are going to commit adultry it's in their nature? And it's the woman's fault because if she had a nice home and homelife then he wouldn't want to wander?? That's what it look like he's saying. This isn't the neanderthal time period. Men are supposed to be civilized and not ruled by their primal procreative instincts but instead are supposed to be controlled by their brains.

Man .... oh man .... oh man ...... just

In the article, Robertson told the woman to 'stop talking about the cheating'. I think that's a bad idea. If there is a problem that contributed to the cheating, then it has to be discussed and resolved, or else there will just be more cheating in the future.

Social issue .... So ATS what's your take?
Are husbands just expected to cheat (or 'wander a bit' as Robertson called it?).
Is it automatically the wifes fault for not 'having a nice home' or 'nice homelife'??
What do you think?

He is essentially, but cryptically, right about the "wonderful". I do not think that men who truly love their wives, and have a good home life, cheat.

But I am not really surprised by how much it happens on BOTH sides of the marriage. We are essentially still Bronze Age people living in our modern world of improved comfort space. Attitudes that you can read about from 3,000 years ago and less, reveal that those people pulled the same old shennanigans that so-called "Modern" people pull.

It seems odd that people change very little even over millenia. We "live in different times" only superficially in an illusory sense. Rapists, murderers, war mongers abound now as they did then. There is always some group of jerk wads always trying to take over and control and manage things.

Will we ever escape that "cheating" loop? It is doubtful until mankind, in general, really grows up.

We have to breed the animal Homo Sapiens, Sapiens out of ourselves in an effort to become more human as we imagine how good we can be.

if you fall out with your girlfriend to the point of wanting to cheat on her you don't belong together.

so something was wrong in the relationship if your man cheats then he´s no good for you and vice versa but know this

all relationships need work from both parties otherwise wanting to cheat is inevitable.

Originally posted by skorpius
reply to post by FlyersFan

 

I disagree with the lies part. How is lying considered cheating. Sometimes it is in the best interested to lie.

There are certain unwritten codes to go by when in a relationship. It has a lot of grey area. Some would believe that kissing is considered cheating. Some would disagree. Mistakes do happen after all we are only human.

Lying, as a dynamic, assumes prior information about a circumstance...the withholding of that information deems it a lie (because not all parameters of the circumstance are revealed)...

...to the question of a lie, practised to produce a mutual 'good' - and without nefarious agenda...this dynamic (while appearing as a lie - withholding of relevant information to produce a mutual good) is, by definition, a lie...the outcome niether produces/generates/perpetuates the withheld information (indeed, after that mutual good is produced, the dynamic of that lie can be revealed)...in the case of lies that produce/generate/perpetuate 'the lie' for nefarious purposes, the dynamic of the lie is only ever revealed under duress, or diverted.

Dynamically, the lie manipulates the appearance of reality (there'll be no discussion of what reality is!..in this context)...lying, for nefarious purposes is manipulating the way another experiences reality...it's a complete no-no...

In relation to the OP...other posters have revealed (in the obvious hypocrisy of the subjects stance) that, diversion is being used to excuse the nefarious purposes of a lie - against stated commandment...

Å99

reply to post by FlyersFan


That guys is such an idiot!!! I don't know how he can still have followers keeping him on the air. His brain is out to lunch and so are his followers.

Well, all i gotta say is ole Pat probably puts his money where his mouth is.
er..............

reply to post by FlyersFan


Candy coating anyone?

I wonder what his advise would be to the husband whose wife wanders a little bit? That Jezebel would bring down the house.
And what??? Dont talk about it? Just let him off. Hell why not fix his tie and make sure he has money to take his side sweety to dinner too. Heck pay for the hotel room and supply the condoms and smile while you do because hey we want him to think that he is great and his wife if all happy. Of course there is always the Lorena Bobbet approach, that seemed to have stopped her hubby cold. Of course if your penis is on the lawn it really cant get you into too much trouble.

I really take issue with folks who say hey it happens or you cant help it who you fall in love with. BULL.
I am human, I have been presented with temptations and my choice was ALWAYS to say sorry I am married. There was no room for falling in love with someone else. These things only happen if they are allowed to happen. They dont "just" happen. That is the weak individuals excuse when they cant keep it at home period.

reply to post by skorpius


Ever hear the saying "Two wrongs don't make a right" ?

Originally posted by skorpius
reply to post by FlyersFan

 

I disagree with the lies part. How is lying considered cheating. Sometimes it is in the best interested to lie.

There are certain unwritten codes to go by when in a relationship. It has a lot of grey area. Some would believe that kissing is considered cheating. Some would disagree. Mistakes do happen after all we are only human.

I imagine you haven't had many successful relationships if you advocate lying under any circumstances. I am not talking about saying no if your wife asks does this dress make me look fat but real lies like I am working late tonight when in fact the person is only workin' it not working.

I can say this because I can...I cheated on my girlfriend of 5 years because of how she started acting. She started to ignore me, lie, felt as if she was over me, sex got more then decreased, her all around attitude changed. For what reason? Well when we started dating when she was 16. And since she was so young and had me through all of her teen years she never got the chance to go out and experience an enjoy those years. Yes she did choose to be in a relationship but she didn't choose how it would make her feel after 5 years. Anyways, my point being that yes I got attention from another women that was allways complimenting and telling me things, and I missed gettin that kind of attention from my own girl..so I agree. If my girlfriend was putting more thought Into making it work at home instead of what she was missin out on I wouldn't have needed to feel the kindness and the wanting feeling another girl gave me. Yes it was a mistake and me and my girlfriend are bak and doing better then ever( don't wanna write the whole story) but she did mention to me that my cheating was somewhat her fault as well...and if she could realize that being the stubborn model she is then I'm sure some of u other women would understand as well. Sorry if this didn't make any sense but it's just my 2 cents of input because I went through this same thing. And don't bash on me I never lied/treated her bad.

reply to post by FlyersFan


Personally I Despise Infidelity with a Passion.

I am HUGELY Surprised at hearing a Theologian Marginalize an Eternal Union.

It is ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC for him to say that a man is going to do what a man does.
If that is what a man wants to do then he has No business being in ANY relationship.

For anyone to make such a suggestion has either been paid by someone who participates in that sort of activity OR he has AND/OR does participate in those activities himself.

Incidentally I am still a little wound up over an interview I heard on Sean Hannity today with the Owner and Founder of Ashley Madison. For those that do not know, .. AshleyMadison Dot Com is a website that is for Cheaters looking for someone to Commit Adultery with.

The owner is Noel Biderman. He has made nearly a Billion Dollars from this website that promotes Adultery, Destroys Marriages, and Hurts Children.

No wonder the Family Unit has been decimated by Dysfunction.

reply to post by FlyersFan


The ONLY Reason Men might Cheat on their Spouses is because they don't get the Affection they Crave from their Wives at ANY given time . Nagging also Factors into it .

reply to post by Zanti Misfit


That really is Nonsense.

I know men who have cheated that had everything any man could want from a marriage.

Why did they Cheat ?. .. Because, in Every case, they wanted to try something different.

Originally posted by Zanti Misfit
reply to post by FlyersFan

 

The ONLY Reason Men might Cheat on their Spouses is because they don't get the Affection they Crave from their Wives at ANY given time . Nagging also Factors into it .

Then this really reflects on the very bad decisions made to 'acquire' an object of 'craving'...has nothing to do with 'the wife'...
...i can think of many scenarios that would satisfy a 'craving'...

Å99

What horribly #ty advice.

Both sides are required to trust the other, so long as they are under the impression that they should be faithful to each other.

Exempting men from the picture is just ridiculously illogical. If my own dad were to cheat on my mother, I would be livid. Marriage is a contract, an agreement of a different nature from most other agreements we work with. It requires a change in living, and so, a change in being. It just so happens that as a man ages, testosterone levels dissipate, vasopressin levels rise, oxytocin levels increase, making a man calmer, gentler, more committed, and also less of a horn dog. .

Marriage makes a lot of sense from a biological perspective. Being single makes sense in the teens and twenties, but by the time you reach your 30's, your body changes, and the changes experienced correspond to a monogamous lifestyle. .

Originally posted by Zanti Misfit
reply to post by FlyersFan

 

The ONLY Reason Men might Cheat on their Spouses is because they don't get the Affection they Crave from their Wives at ANY given time . Nagging also Factors into it .

Your above statement is not always true...I know women who were loving, affectionate, and sexy spouses; they did everything they could to try and make their spouse happy and interested...and their husband still cheated...and he had a really good wife at home.

Gee, I'm surprised he didn't recommend frequent BJs to keep the hubbies happy...

Second line for whatever reason, or are those old rules?