Charles1952. I Could Use a Word, or Something. (A Whining Post with a Twist.)

Perhaps that might be the problem you're having, Charles...

"Men don't whine"

Meaning, you've probably bottled up all of your stresses and are not releasing them, thus it's physically and psychologically taking it's toll on you. End result, your brain is desperately attempting to purge as a sense of self preservation, which means crazy dreams that make no sense (among countless other side effects).

Stress Symptoms, Signs, Causes, and Effects

Do you have someone you can unburden yourself on ? You'd be amazed how much stress can be released just by simply using someone as your sounding board.

If not, then lay it all out here on ATS my fine feathered friend... you're a valued member here and there are tons of us more than willing to lend you an ear or two.

Whine away, old chum... whine away.

Charles1952,

A couple of thoughts on this. First, the lack of sleep over two nights (what was that, two hours total?) plays havoc on our coping skills. In these conditions, mundane stress can cause tears. But massive stress can cause near-breakdowns without proper sleep. Good that you avoid alcohol - that only exacerbates the issue. But please take some comfort in knowing that the lack of sleep is certainly worthy of some finger-pointing in this instance.

Second, you're a well-read man who has expounded upon the knowledge your habit has afforded here at ATS. Books means knowledge to you, correct? Is it therefore possible that somehow your poorly rested brain constructed an arena in which you could once again turn to your books to find some guidance, answers and hope? In your dream, you were surrounded by darkness until lo and behold, a pedestal upon which light emanated illuminated three books which bestowed you with a knowledge out of most men's reach. If you might humor me in some armchair dream interpretation here, I'm imagining that the darkness that surrounded you symbolized your uncertainty in what is an unusually stressful situation concerning the health of two women who couldn't be more dear to you. The pedestal held what you hold in high-esteem: books. But was it a mistake that there were three books in particular, or could they have also symbolized the Holy Trinity to you? It's not out of the realm of possibility that in this time of "darkness", your dreamworld created for you the illusory comfort of knowledge and simultaneously, Holy guidance. Doesn't your religion recognize you as corporeal spirit in lieu of a clumsy pile of cellular constructs?

I don't believe that a book in a dream means the same thing to everyone - it depends on the dreamer. Perhaps the lack of sleep which exacerbated your stress cause you to feel like you weren't exactly yourself? A familiar man in a strange land is only familiar for so long...

Take good care of yourself. I'm sure your loved ones are aware of just how much you love them, and would understand if you needed to put your phone on silent when the exhaustion bears down on you. I'm sure you and yours will be the subjects of many beautiful prayers and thoughts from the denizens of ATS tonight. You've earned much respect and many fans.

Another funny vid. Profanity.

Charles, you are a shining star at ATS and I am glad you are reaching out for a little TLC from your friends and fans. Stress can make your dreams bizarre IMHO. I suggest blowing it off, no need to have it add any more stress to your life.

I find a little exercise in thanksgiving can put me in a positive frame of mind. The more minute the blessing, the more I realize how much I take for granted.

I am thankful for: the chair I'm sitting in, a fan to keep me cool, a day when I have no aches or pains, a day when I do have aches and pains to remind of all the times I've taken good health for granted, for plumbing that works and toilet paper, for ............................you name it.


We do so much on autopilot that we lose our appreciate for all we do have.

So the word I offer is an exercise is appreciation as you go about your day will help you to de-stress and find peace.

This passage brought my brother great comfort as he was dying and worrying about how his family would manage:

Luke 12:24-34

24 Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! 25 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?[a] 26 If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? 27 Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28 But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! 29 And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. 30 For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31 Instead, seek his[c] kingdom, and these things will be added to you.

32 “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. 33 Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. 34 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Keeping you and yours in prayer.
(((Big hug.)))

reply to post by CranialSponge

Dear CranialSponge,

Perhaps that might be the problem you're having, Charles...

"Men don't whine"

That brings up an interesting point. I don't have an answer, but maybe being a man requires self-control, the ability to deal with whatever life has pitched his way. Perhaps men aren't "allowed" to whine.

Normally, I just "close up" if things are coming too fast, I'll try for a day in bed or something similar.

Do you have someone you can unburden yourself on ?

That's why I was thinking about getting a five-foot stuffed rabbit.

With respect,
Charles1952

P. s. One good thing, anyway. I can get up to Manitoba for a relative's wedding in late June. If I can just hang on long enough, a little Tim Horton's will see me through. (My parents were both "'Peggers.")

reply to post by charles1952

That brings up an interesting point. I don't have an answer, but maybe being a man requires self-control, the ability to deal with whatever life has pitched his way. Perhaps men aren't "allowed" to whine.

Normally, I just "close up" if things are coming too fast, I'll try for a day in bed or something similar.

Society has unfortunately ingrained this ridiculous notion that men need to be "manly" and "in control" at all times. More so with the older generations. But the fact of the matter is you're human, thus life can take its toll on you just as much as it can on anyone else. Let go of the false sense of manly bravado and allow yourself to be human... allow your emotions to flow and it'll relieve a lot of these internal stresses you have built up.

It's no wonder men statistically live a shorter life span than we women.

That's why I was thinking about getting a five-foot stuffed rabbit.

Good. Now go put on those big boy pants of yours, head out to Toys-R-Us, and buy yourself that stuffed rabbit... you and Bugs Bunny have a lot to talk about.

P. s. One good thing, anyway. I can get up to Manitoba for a relative's wedding in late June. If I can just hang on long enough, a little Tim Horton's will see me through. (My parents were both "'Peggers.")

Careful on how much Timmies you take in... that stuff can make the old ticker explode if you're not careful !

reply to post by chasingbrahman

Dear chasingbrahman,

Thank you, over and over again, for putting so much thought and effort into this for me. I'm really impressed and grateful that you are concerned.

I haven't thought much about the deeper meaning of my dream. I may be too close to it to be able to see it accurately. The idea that they were books is interesting, at the time they seemed more like display screens, but they were the basic rectangular shape of books. I do wonder a little bit about the pointed domes that took up about a quarter of the top edge of the shape. For a brief moment I thought it was some kind of control center, or "head." But, I have no reason to doubt your "book" theory.

On the question of the "trinity" of the books you touch on something that shames me. At no point during the dream, or immediately afterward, did I turn to or think about God. My immediate reaction upon waking was to reach out for some (non-existent) physical comfort and reassurance that I was not going to be locked up and that I was, indeed, human.

Doesn't your religion recognize you as corporeal spirit in lieu of a clumsy pile of cellular constructs?

Yep. Last time I checked it said we were both. Which is slightly comforting. I'd rather think that some of those crazy old cellular constructs down on level 43-B were staging a labor demonstration than my spirit had become perverted or taken over.

I am so grateful for your prayers and kind thoughts. Nice to know you guys.

With respect,
Charles1952

I am an Atheist Charles, I haven't checked your posts or anything but from the few I've read here and there you seem like some sort of believer.

With all the problems in your life topped up with the stress and sleep deprivation whatever your belief system is you would appear to be challenging or feel is under threat, times like this cause re-evaluation.

The rectangles and domes I am going to venture as architecture and books, both part of the imposition of a world view often outside of one's own personal experiences, being brought up in a Christian society this is not outside the realms of possibility but I purposely haven't checked out your profile for although the symbolism may change these crises are known in every belief system. A knock to how you expected things to be during earlier indoctrination. The words shadowed and not quite in pin point focus would seem to echo this.

The aliens and the threat to your identity are unfortunately the possible by-product of you not identifying with the elders and/or any priest class you may have listened to. It's a catharsis, an identity crisis that is part of a challenge to the psychological mechanism of control so needed by religious/political systems. The why me? Syndrome if you will.

I love classical music, so take that glass of milk and sit down with a slab of culture if you don't like classical then some other soothing ambient sounds sans words, take a deep breath, relax, and reflect on the natural cycles that life goes through. Hopefully the problems caused by your fall may disappear soon and little 'pick me ups' like that will also help.

reply to post by charles1952


Dearest charles1952,

Thinking of you and wishing you the best. Peace brother.

Damn, you've got it bad. Just keep treading water until the rest of us catch up with you and we will let you float and heal.

How is Charles? Give us an update, C.

reply to post by charles1952


Dear charles1952,

Nothing but support from any of us, you come through as a person that we care about, you matter to people. It would be nice if you let us all know how you are doing dear friend. I personally happen to think the world of you. Peace.

AQ

reply to post by AQuestion


Charles said:

Which reminds me, full weekend conference in Rochester, MN, this weekend. Have to be better by then. New jobs (unpaid) with state-wide responsibility. Maybe I'll have to stock up on milk.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

I'm sure he'll be checking in soon.

reply to post by windword, AQuestion, suz62, searching411, and goldentorch.


Dearest Brother and Sister ATSers,

I don't have the words to tell you how touched I am by your posts. The fact that you care enough to check up on me is evidence of your love and kindness. You have excellent hearts, and it is a joy to be associated with you. (This is hard to write becuase I don't want to get too mushy, but I also have to be honest with you.)

I think I'll just review this thread every now and then. That way I won't have to buy that 5-foot bunny to hold on to, I've got you guys. Thanks a lot (sniff, sniff. Blasted gnat flew in my eye. Where did I put that Kleenex?).

As for the convention? A lot of sitting listening to necessary business which I found boring, punctuated by some really important information. The vital part for me was the time spent in conversations with from 1 to 12 people. These are all what anyone would call "good guys." I was able to sit and relax, talking with some strangers, who nonetheless, I was bound to.

I told them about the pound of metallic Sodium I tossed in a river, and the Mexican fireworks episode which got me a couple of days of "house arrest" from our chaperones. We told a few mildly off-color jokes, got some private, inside info on a number of Bishops, and enjoyed "free" beverages and appetizers (somebody had to pay for them, but it wasn't me).

Say, goldentorch, you're right, I am some kind of believer. I'm Catholic. Started out Catholic, took a lot of side trips, and came to the conclusion that, with the evidence I had and the thinking I was able to do, it seemed like the place for my soul to be.

Here on ATS my first priority is to treat people with the dignity they're entitled to as Children of God (as we all are). I learn a lot, enjoy the conversations, and I'm sometimes able to bring in a new fact or way of thinking about things that people seem to appreciate. See, however, my signature for the comments of a dissatisfied customer. Yes, I returned his purchase price.

In general, I put my thoughts and energy into the convention, and left everything else at the door. Tomorrow (or later today, time sure flies), I'll return to the real world. Reality can get along without me for a while, the universe won't explode.

I don't know if I can say this, what with Ts & Cs, but "I love you." Thanks.

With respect,
Charles1952

reply to post by goldentorch

Dear goldentorch,

Sorry, I haven't really properly replied to your post. I greet you as a fellow human who shares with you the problems and difficulties of life. I hope you continue searching for wisdom and truth. If you ever think there might be something I can do, just ask.

times like this cause re-evaluation.

You're absolutely right. One of my difficulties, which I suspect some others may share, is that we don't re-evaluate often enough. Not so much based on feelings, because those change often and for sometimes silly reasons like pressure and lack of sleep. We should re-evaluate based on what we know, have learned, and "For what I have done and for what I have failed to do."

The rectangles and domes I am going to venture as architecture and books, both part of the imposition of a world view often outside of one's own personal experiences, being brought up in a Christian society this is not outside the realms of possibility but I purposely haven't checked out your profile for although the symbolism may change these crises are known in every belief system.

Here again, you could be quite right. I can only describe them, and what I thought they meant, but our sub-conscious is full of strange things. Yes, I've been brought up in a Christian society, but, as you can tell by my age, I went through my teens, high school and college in the '60s and '70's, a time when everything was being questioned and there was a lot of support for anyone who wanted to be a "free spirit."

A knock to how you expected things to be during earlier indoctrination. The words shadowed and not quite in pin point focus would seem to echo this.

Time to play the age card again. I've long since given up on how I expected things to be. Too many broken things since my early days. (But a lot of joy, too.)

The aliens and the threat to your identity are unfortunately the possible by-product of you not identifying with the elders and/or any priest class you may have listened to. It's a catharsis, an identity crisis that is part of a challenge to the psychological mechanism of control so needed by religious/political systems. The why me? Syndrome if you will.

Right again, it is possible, but I wonder if it might not have been another attack on my very existence as a person? It's hard for me to know if I'm being secretly controlled, but don't we all like to think that we aren't? If the dream was a symbol of my breaking away from one system to another, I'm confused because it only served to force me to reach out to others (or a 5-foot rabbit) to reassure myself that I hadn't changed to a non-human creature.

I love classical music, so take that glass of milk and sit down with a slab of culture if you don't like classical then some other soothing ambient sounds sans words, take a deep breath, relax, and reflect on the natural cycles that life goes through. Hopefully the problems caused by your fall may disappear soon and little 'pick me ups' like that will also help.

I'm glad to hear that you like classical music. It is beautiful, and I see a desire for beauty to be a sign of a healthy person. Thanks for the advice, and your kind hopes for me.

With respect,
Charles1952

reply to post by charles1952
Dearest Charles1952...I must admit that I tend to be more of an avid lurker than a poster (still working on developing the prerequisite thick skin, the attacks can be brutal sometimes...lol) but I felt compelled to sign in to post to your thread. I wanted to let you know that you are absolutely one of my favorite posters, and whenever I see your name I make a point of reading your responses. I have found you to be consistently kind, thoughtful, respectful, compassionate, truly humble, well-reasoned, profound and extremely wise; such rare and precious qualities not often found here on ATS, let alone the world nowadays. I have the utmost admiration and respect for you, kind sir, and it's people like yourself that rekindle my faith in the inherent goodness of people (it's difficult not to become cynical sometimes)...

While I can't offer any dream interpretations, I just wanted to reach out and let you know that you are not alone even when you feel that you are. Although it has probably never occurred to you, I thought you needed to know that you have touched and impacted many people in a positive way, myself included. You seem like such a positive, uplifting person that is always there for others with a comforting word of kindness. You're not "just a guy" but rather a quite extraordinary one...

Please take care of your health (emotional and physical) and get some well-needed rest. I will keep you and your loved ones in my thoughts and prayers, and if you ever need a friend or someone to listen, please let me know.


Doris
aka 1yearning2bfree

reply to post by 1yearning2bfree

Dear 1yearning2bfree,

Thank you, over and over, for taking the time to post. I have now officially run out of words. Thankfully, I haven't run out of Kleenex.

The idea that I could have made even a small positive difference in somebody's life is foreign to me. Over a decade ago my wife gave me divorce papers. The divorce was completed a month before our 25th anniversary.
(Man, this is hard to write. I have to skip a lot. I've never mentioned this before.) The doctors, my family, and even I were convinced that my end would be soon and not accidental.

I believe that God got me through. Events like that leave their marks, however.

Blast! I want to write, and I can't write.

None of you will ever know the love I have for you all. The kindness and concern you've shown me is beyond words. You are fresh, living souls, fed by love and grace. Your willingness to share is a measure of your closeness to all that is good.

Thank you.

With respect (and much more),
Charles1952

reply to post by charles1952
Thank you for your kind response, charles1952. I hope you are feeling much better, please check your inbox for a U2U (also a couple of photos placed on your profile wall). Sorry for the duplicate entry, must have done something incorrectly. I didn't know how to embed the photos, so you'll have to click on the links. Take care, my friend!

Checking on you, C. Hope you're doing okay and feeling better.

reply to post by suz62

Dear suz62,

What kindness, thank you. If you'd care for an update?

My family scraped up enough money to buy off a third of my outstanding debt at a discount, and the lawyers are quiet for the moment.

My daughter is recovering from her surgery and is beginning to feel the benefits.

My mom's not getting any worse, in fact I went to dinner with her last night and "A good time was had by all."

Physical pain? I don't seem to have the solution to that yet. Oh well, to compensate for that I have the beautiful warm thoughts of ATSers. Overall, much better here, thanks.

With respect,
Charles1952