Do Words Hurt?

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope
a reply to: LesMisanthrope

By my last estimate, words still do not hurt.

It depends on how they are placed in a sentence to form paragraphs/idea forms. Sarcasm, Sardonicism, Satire can be bold innovators for entire changes in political systems; Dickens, Voltaire, Swift, Cervantes as examples.

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope
a reply to: LesMisanthrope

By my last estimate, words still do not hurt.

They do not cause physical trauma.
They can, however cause hurt feelings, depending upon who speaks them and the regard the listeners has (or had) for them at the time they are sent out.

Having the respect of others gives ones words much more force.

a reply to: Bluesma

They can, however cause hurt feelings, depending upon who speaks them and the regard the listeners has (or had) for them at the time they are sent out.

If that was so, these "hurt feelings" would occur immediately, even if we misunderstood or didn't quite register what was being said, the intention, or in the manner in which it was spoken. Often, it is only after we have considered them at a lengthy enough time will our feelings become hurt, with our minds filling in the gaps, the what ifs, the "is this really what he thinks", etc. One man's insult is another man's humour. Why wouldn't the words hurt everyone's feelings? Because the cause is not the words, but the individual who confronts them. In a sense, one must decide whether to have hurt feelings or not.

I think “hurt feelings” DO occur immediately, and give way to acts.
There is more than enough research that shows we have emotional responses in our body before we even consciously become aware of them, and with a little cognitive processing, we can even re-label them, create a different story around them, come up with some way for the conscious mind to proclaim “I did this on purpose, for this logical reasoning…”

It is only after we have considered them for a length of time that we can decide what kind of story we shall spin, how we shall catalogue the event, and even- whether or not we shall choose to acknowledge the emotion that happened.

We can decide it was not rationally, or morally correct, in that post emotion processing, and even deny it happened. But that doesn’t change the fact that it happened. –That the body had a reaction, that was immediately in response to outside stimuli, even without the sacrosanct intellect being in control or even aware in the moment.

(including having just been in a mode of defensiveness faced with numerous opposants, and having accidently made a jab at a supporter)

The intellect claiming it is in control of all the bodies acts and physiological processes, with total independence from others and the exterior (it’s all up to me and how I choose)
Is a false sense of power. THERE is the fantasy entity, the magical powerful invisible man behind the curtain who claims to be pulling all the switches and with power to manipulate all expression and movement of the body… which is reduced to nothing more than a meat suit completely submissive to the “I”.

Yeah, emotions don’t matter and shouldn’t be considered as relevant in human exchange. Each one of us is responsible for choosing every emotion that happens inside in response to others actions and the exterior. Good thing, because the little man in the head has his hands full trying to catch up and pull those switches fast enough to make it look like, “I chose that. For this reason. That’s how all powerful I am”

a reply to: Bluesma

Our emotions obviously matter. That's why we should learn them. We shouldn't fear them. They are not there to cripple us and injure our future, like the body is to be set against itself as soon as it hears a certain sequence of guttural sounds. They teach us about ourself, not anyone else.

When we teach children words hurt, that their language is a weapon, we arm them rather than equip them, and who would only go out and enforce this mentality. Parents enforce it in their children. And how words are utilized in traumatizing situations reinforces it even deeper. But the fact remains that words reflect the one who speaks them, not who they are spoken to or about. The words, the meaning, the thoughts that they came from, begin and end at the speaker. At some point, the listener generates the meaning, completes the transaction.

You probably know more than anyone that I am very horrible at typing to others. As a disembodied collection of paragraphs, I seem quite prickly. But the settings I typically converse in are more embodied and real, with noise, smells and movement, and a visible bodily vocabulary. I cannot convey when I am being coy, sarcastic, playful; I cannot charm, or joke or mock without coming off as ill-intended; I cannot nudge the arm, caress a hand or smile; and all honor to my vivid imagination, I always imagine we are speaking in perhaps a pub setting, or over a game of chess and coffee, friendly and interacting, a mutual game of wits, probably to my detriment, when I should remember I am just at a computer, and the one I am typing to, the same. It's the curse of being a sensualist in a non-sensual world. It seems one always risks being confused with a disembodied collection of guttural sounds, stacks of paragraphs, or whatever else one's thoughts might leak out as. Though they reflect my thoughts, my true reflection is not seen in them, and the reader can only provide their own reflection in its stead. The magic of words. I suppose I should get used to it.

I can read some sarcasm in your post, but I still picture it coming from a smiling face. Maybe not.

I know exactly what you mean when you say feelings are hurt immediately.

When I first met my husband, he had come to the US to work for my parents, taking care of my little half brother.

When repimended by him, my brother once said, "You hurt my feelings!"
To which my (now) husband laughed heartedly, and continued to chuckle about for months. He'd never heard the expression, and found it hilarious. I was a bit perplexed at his lack of comprehension, especially since he seemed to be a highly sensitive and empathic being.

With lots of time, I found out that is the concept of emotions as being something separate from the self. For him, and in his culture, one identifies with the emotions- they ARE the self. If my brother had proclaimed, "I feel hurt" he wouldn't have laughed. (though he would have taken it in stride, as if feeling hurt by others is just sometimes a fact of life we cannot avoid, and that is sometimes necessary).

This is a way of perceiving self that has vast implications and influence upon all types of exchanges. It is a paradigm in which irrationality is embraced, as the human condition. They offer and expect no explanation for emotions. They do not hold others responsible for what they feel. You have no choice but to follow what you feel, and blame is useless.

There is another thread I saw titled- "tired of grand theories, do what you want". There is a paradigm in which it is considered, you will (and do) anyway.

A few years on now and my mind remains closed on the subject, with no new evidence proving otherwise.

a reply to: LesMisanthrope

Really this depends on the criteria set forth that define the word Hurt. If you're only speaking about physical pain, of course. That is not, however, the only source of pain.

Super deep post Les. I feel out if my depth here. I have a difficult time with emotions.

a reply to: LesMisanthrope

a reply to: jjsr420

Really this depends on the criteria set forth that define the word Hurt. If you're only speaking about physical pain, of course. That is not, however, the only source of pain.

Super deep post Les. I feel out if my depth here. I have a difficult time with emotions.

The criteria is: words cannot hurt a human for the same reason they cannot hurt an ant. Anything more than that is sorcery.

What is your difficulty with emotions?

a reply to: Lysergic

Bahaha.

a reply to: LesMisanthrope

Hurt is subjective.

I'm honestly not sure. Its difficult for me to feel emotions. Rather, I feel them, but the processing if them is extremely difficult.

Love hurts.

Words have as much power as you give them.

LesMisanthrope


Words are very hurtful..both emotionally and psychologically... when they come from someone you trust and love. I know a girl who was verbally abused for many years. She finally broke free of the abuse.. and those words used on her still effect her to this very day.

If words weren't harmful, there would be no side effects from them. If words were nothing more than a way to communicate..she wouldn't still be trying to break free from the verbal shackles her significant other chained her with. Years and years of verbal and mental abuse from someone who you trust and love....those words are harmful. Harmful enough that they might cause you to consider that death would be better than another day of feeling like you have no worth.

Words are very powerful. This girl overcame her prison by using positive words from herself and others to build her self confidence back up. She told me she used to stand in front of the mirror and recite words of encouragement until she had the strength to free herself from those chains. Words of encouragement from others lifted her up, while her captors words pulled her down. A constant push/pull of the mind.. a struggle for survival.

Eventually she became numb to words.. and feeling. Even after leaving and breaking those verbal chains.. she now had a new struggle to go through. She had to find her way back to feeling again. She was void of any emotions, having heard nothing but negative, insulting, derogatory and degrading words for many, many years..those words taking the very life of her. Killing her slowly from the inside out, like cancer.

Yes.. I do agree that words only have the power you allow them to have over you. But when they are coupled with emotional attachment to the one who is speaking them.. they are very harmful and very damaging to something more than just the body. Words cut deeper than the surface, and there are no bandages that can cover the wounds, or fix the scars they create.

After a few years of freedom, this girls journey is far from over. I know she is still cutting herself. She says the pain from her self inflicted wounds is a relief from the pain of the words used on her. She still has to stand in front of the mirror each day, her self esteem being so low, she actually has to do this some days just so she can leave the house and .. well, function in the outside world. There is a lot she has to be thankful for, yet those years of verbal abuse have given her a lot of emotional and psychological pain that I fear she will never be able to recover from.

I feel as though I should say that this girl is not me.. although I've had my own struggles, she has just shared her story with me and I am more than willing to listen. She is seeing a psychiatrist, but feels it a bit more cleansing to talk with someone who is outside her current circle of family and friends. Feels as though she isn't being judged.

So yes, words do not leave external scars..but the internal wounds they can leave are far more serious and detrimental to a persons well being.

Sorry for the long post... this girl has been on my mind and since I just read your OP, I thought I would do a bit of cleansing myself..

Thanks,
blend57

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope
a reply to: Bluesma

They can, however cause hurt feelings, depending upon who speaks them and the regard the listeners has (or had) for them at the time they are sent out.

If that was so, these "hurt feelings" would occur immediately, even if we misunderstood or didn't quite register what was being said, the intention, or in the manner in which it was spoken. Often, it is only after we have considered them at a lengthy enough time will our feelings become hurt, with our minds filling in the gaps, the what ifs, the "is this really what he thinks", etc. One man's insult is another man's humour. Why wouldn't the words hurt everyone's feelings? Because the cause is not the words, but the individual who confronts them. In a sense, one must decide whether to have hurt feelings or not.

in my humble opinion, words dont hurt. people do. people entertain or promote hurtful ideas, and they do this using words. it still hurts.

A point being LesMisanthrope that pain, even an emotional one, translates to the brain as physical experience, that can effect the brain is way similar to a biological problem.


Consider the potential effect upon the Autonomic Nervous System upon the organs.


PDF.....

www.chiroindex.org...


The situation is that given the inherent relationship between thought and action it is actually, difficult to separate what we interpret as physical and what we generally do not, in the conservative sense.


Music break!!!