"How many of you got your asses whipped and what was the philosophy of your household?"

reply to post by guitarplayer


Hi guitarplayer, Kids today could use more discipline and spanking is called for at times to an extent. However, there is punishment and then there is torture. I got hit plenty, with belts, wood, branches, hands, fists and so on. Got my hand set on fire for spilling talc powder. Locked in closets until unconscious, (small, buggy, hot closets). Got left hand tied to my waist so as to try and make me right handed as left handedness was believed to be "of the devil" in my family.

Parents poisoned my grandmother but said not to tell because they went to church every Sunday and no one would believe me and I did tell one person and they were right....not believed. I was constantly told I should have been born dead and such. Guess what....in spite of all of that, I chose to make/have a decent life for myself and I have. I have mental/physical scars but manage to live a good life, find joy and peace and love. No matter what, I guess, life is what we make of it. I've had a good, rich, full life after I was of age and left. Got the best husband ever...married 50 yrs. to the same great guy. Got kids, grandkids and great grandkids...fun hobies, love out door stuff, motorcycles and metal music and Mozart and oil painting and such. Thanx for listening...didn't mean to turn it into a rant of sorts. Hugs to you.

Justice was different back in the days... Let's just say that.

Never been whipped but i remember being silently in a corner once when i was 4 years old ( cant really remember why ) i was a vivid child and made a lot of "innocent" pranks, experiments and nosing around. Father were military man and chose reasoning when he raised us. Now that i think of his philosophy i see his point, whipping could be done faster and be over faster also forgetting why was beaten faster, reasoning involves child to think more about the issue itself and remember why some things are not allowed to do. I never got myself in trouble in school or life wise

I agree with my father, i also use reasoning with my kid and he has not yet been any trouble either ( knocks the wood )

Dont think im new generation.. im not

reply to post by hhcore

Hi hhcore, Wow, sounds rough. I got kicked in the kidneys a lot and still have troubles with them...maybe from that? One time, my parents thought I was smoking so they made me eat a whole pack of Lucky Strike cigarettes...I threw up for days...found out in later years that tobacco ingested raw like that is a kind of poison. Yikes. I sure never became a smoker tho. Hugs to you.

I was raised by my mother since my dad died at the age of 2. I was the only boy with 3 sisters. My mother was quite strict. I used to be hit with a broom stick, hangers, and sometimes with just the bare hand. It would probably be considered a physically abusive upbringing compared to today's standards. Back than it was normal to see parents spanking their kids in public places.

When my mother told us to do something we did it, not when we felt like doing it, but right then and there. If I came home 5 minutes after my curfew, I would be beaten. She was a 5' terror. When she got mad we worried.

She was also so rapped up in going to church and attending church functions. Everybody loved her except they didn't know what she was really like. (The saying "you don't know someone unless you live with them" applied to my mother). She donated the most money to our church, yet we lived like we were poor.

There were some good points, she did teach us right from wrong and to respect our elders and authority. I remember her always telling me to hold doors open for women and to give up your seat for the elderly. She instilled a very strong work ethic that really has served us all well in our careers.

Although our upbringing was extreme, I think corporal punishment gave kids consequences for their actions. Today's kids don't have consequences and a lot of them don't respect their parents, the elderly, authority or their teachers. The vulgarity is spewed from their lips without any kind of consideration of where they are, or who is around them at the time. I'm really concerned about today's youth.

reply to post by shrevegal


Shrevegal I know you're not looking for a pity party but I'm sorry for what you went through. That isn't discipline or even punishment, it's just plain cruelty and no one should ever have to go through that.

I'm glad you were able to make a life for yourself despite it but no one's childhood should have to be that way. I wish I could hug the child that you were because it sounds like you did not get very much of that.

reply to post by shrevegal


My wife was sexually abused by her stepfather who was a superintendent of Sunday school. she is MPD to this day with 31 personalities who are mostly children. Her natural mother stood by and did nothing and said that her stories were due to drugs and alcohol. She got an apple thrown at her for being hungry and has a scar on her lower lip from being hit with a belt buckle from her mother. Her mother was brought up in a Catholic orphanage so all she learned was work and discipline. Her step father was most likely abused as a child. Generally speaking I have come to learn that people give what they got from their parents. By that I mean I knew that my father loved me and my mom too but they did not truly show it because they never got it from their parents. Who did not get it from theirs. It is up to each of us to break the toxic upbringings that so many have had.

A willow switch from my grandmother, wooden spoon from great grandma, belt from dad, and buggy whip from my step-mom. My step mom's motto was "I didn't bring you into this world, but by damn, if you don't change your ways i'll sure as hell take you out of it." My dad's motto was 'do what your mother says, and you won't get yer ass beat."

Lol, i just remembered the look on the CPS agents' face when he asked if i felt i deserved to get whippings. I told him "I earned every one of them swats! You never got a whippin' when you were a kid? Man, your parents must have hated you!"

I was taught that every action has a reaction. To give an old quote--"if yer gonna dance, ya gotta pay the fiddler"
Am i messed up because of it? Dunno. Maybe.

My parents never hit me. I was never grounded. I grew up with an acute sense of right and wrong, but also learned to question the value of doctrine and tradition. When I did something wrong, starting at age four, my father would have me read a piece of writing relevant to whatever I had done and write a response, of any length sufficient to explain why I did what I did and if it was "good" or "bad."

I'll gladly take all the flak for this next statement: If you are hitting a child, you are either too busy, too lazy, or not smart enough to come up with a better alternative that fits your child and does something more productive than "putting an end' to bad behavior.

We smack dogs to train them. I fully expect more of people.

As a kid I was smacked- I don't know what good that did me. I'm 23 and believe that smacks on the arse (with or without the threat of a wooden spoon) should still be used today.
I see too often children in supermarkets going wild and the parents just let them go. I don't get it.

I feel this should be something that people shouldn't frown upon- if you aren't going to discipline your kid at 3, the law will do it at 13.

Ok, here is what I was reared by.
Children are to be seen and not heard.
Do as your told and not as I do.

My most unfavorite one;
Dad: " tell me the truth and you won't get spanked?"
Whack!!!
Me crying: " you said you wouldn't spank me if I told you the truth.":
Dad: That was lying to me the first time.
That was a hard but effective lesson.

Neither of my parents ever spared the rod. They weren't religous they just wanted to make sure we knew who was in charge.

My gosh, this thread has left me absolutely heartbroken! To everyone here who suffered such horrendous acts by the hands of their most trusted family members, I wish I could reverse time and remove you from it all. This is very upsetting to hear so many people being raised in an unloving home. You are all very strong people to overcome that way of life. My heart goes out to you.

There were rules. If I broke those rules, I would get a whippin'. It was classic behavioral conditioning, and I suppose that mostly it worked. The whippin' was administered by my father with a leather belt. Once, anticipating said whippin', I put a children's book in the seat of my pants; I didn't get a whippin' that day, because both my parents were doubled over laughing at the rectangular shape of my posterior. I was cautioned that that trick wouldn't work a second time. It didn't.

I knew the rules. I made choices. Sometimes I was caught, and other times not. In grade school through junior high, unruly students were swatted before the class with a wooden paddle with holes drilled in it. Apparently, the holes were intended to produce a pattern on the posterior of the swatee, as a reminder. It was considered bad form to cry under this corporal punishment. Everybody cried.

I don't think it was such a bad system. I think it produced a child who grew to understand consequences for their actions. No, I don't have children.

ETA: reply to post by B1rd1nFL1ghT


I didn't have the sense that I was in an unloving home -- very much the opposite. Both of my parents were demonstratively loving. Such actions seem brutal in these modern times. It was a different world then (I'm 55). I don't know anyone I grew up with that didn't eventually not require a whippin'.

The reason for this thread was to show and is to show that most Christians are not the maniacal people many portray them as. So far there have been many who have stated no religious convictions of their parents, most like my parents were loving but stern people without any religious affiliations. I am not trying to deny that people of faith do mistreat their children such as the case with my wife and her Sunday school teacher step father. So please continue with your accounts of discipline and please remember to state the philosophy of your parents if they were of a religious or secular persuasion.

reply to post by occrest


the wooden spoon was a favourite but my dad used to pull the kettle cord out.. Though he never actually used it the thought of that being wrapped around my butt was enough for me to tone down a bit...

My parents were well, my mom was moderately religious and my dad didn't give a crap about religion, i got more than a spank to the ass, i got wooden spatulas and bamboo stick!

It was mainly in the ages 9-13.

i deserve all the whopping i got, i was a troublemaker, i guess if it weren't for that i would probably be locked inside a jail now instead of holding a bachelors of science degree.

No mental trauma or anything.

reply to post by argentus


I am glad to know you personally did not feel as if you grew up in an unloving home. I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone in this thread. Your circumstances, however, were quite different from some of the others who posted.

My family also believed in punishment. I got plenty of @ss beatings along, with lots of manual labor, for my mistakes. I grew up in the south and that's how most of us were raised. I never thought I was abused or unloved. That's just the way it was. My grandparents were much more harsh on my mother than she was on my brother and I. But even her stories pale in comparrison to some of what I read tonight.

I've tried to be a little more balanced with how I discipline my children. I catch myself saying to them all the time, "y'all are getting off light, if I had behaved like this growing up...." Things are just different from back then. My kids would run strait to the school guidance counsoler if I smacked their butts! But it doesn't stop me from putting them to chores all day long, just like I had to do! Oh... And they hate that more than any swat with a paddle

reply to post by B1rd1nFL1ghT


I disagree with the physical discipline full stop. Though there have been times where I'd like to crack some arse I can never bring myself to do it.. A good talking too and a raised voice usually worked with my two kids and to this day I would never change the way I dealt with them. I just hope they can apply the same when there turn comes around.

I was a quiet, reserved kid. I never did get in much trouble. I received spankings a handful of times and when I did, I never did the offense I was being punished for again. Only grandma did the soap things. Things that I enjoyed were often taken away - when I was becoming mouthy and trying to assert my independence. Also the corner. If we spoke disrespectfully, it was 15 minutes standing in the corner with a speech of why to get out. I once racked up an hour because I had to have the last word in - and my step-father made me stand in that corner every minute of that hour. The worst was after, the speech of apology and ownership of why exactly I was in that corner and how it's wrong.

Today - with my own children. I use fairly the same punishment style. Spanking is reserved for life threatening/criminal offenses and are very rare. The corner and loss of privilege with all other lesser bad behaviors which is almost always. I generally tell them what they did, why it's wrong and not allowed, and lay down the punishment. It's not up for debate. All of my kids right now want to debate their punishments with me.

For example, just tonight. So we get into an argument, my 5 turning 6 year old boy - his offense was pushing his brother down because he wanted the toy his brother was playing with. His brother is four.

He say's to me. "I don't want to spend ten minutes thinking in the corner about what I did. I already know I shouldn't push people. I got mad. Can't I get a spanking and go to my room?"

My response - "Okay, I got your number. You hate standing in the corner - now get in the corner."

His response - "How about I kick you, you give me a spanking and I go to my room?" ARGGGHHH So I grab his arm and march him to the corner while he proceeds to try and kick me!!! With me - letting him know he now has twenty minutes in the corner and his father will be hearing about this later when he gets home from work. They don't do that with dad. Dad says get in the corner and they do.

My husband just started a new job after looking for work now for about three years. All four of my kids are testing the new waters!

Blessings,
Cirque

Originally posted by Awen24

Originally posted by sweetstuff
The philosophy in our house was a moderate version of 'spare the rod, spoil the child', we got the belt but not unless we really messed up, truth be told, I'm pretty sure I had it coming everytime I got it.

Pretty much this, in my house.

My parents had a wooden spoon that they named "the brat whacker".
I don't think I ever actually got hit with it, but I always knew it was there. I did get smacked though. I vaguely recall going to my room and plotting to put my parents in an aged care facility in China in their old age.

I seem to have grown up relatively well adjusted though.
Sarcastic as hell, but reasonably well-adjusted

Lmao @ the brat whacker...