Members childhood memories. A thread for the whole of ATS to enjoy

reply to post by HomerinNC


I just started a friends list party in the other thread thanks to you
I'll see you and raise you
Butcher boys South Africa



Cody

opps

OK, I have a story that might be a good transition...it started out a tradegy, but has a happy ending......One of my best friends in this world, Jan was paralysed from the waist down when she was 19 yrs. old from a car accident.......we are still very good friends, and I just went to a surprise party for her back in Jan.

Well, although Jan was born and raised in CA, her folks were from Kentucky...complete opposite of my parents...they were no nonscence, at least with thier kids, they could party ( her Dad always had a frig full of beer in "His" garage ) hard working people...lol....none of that "touchy feely" liberal crap! I never saw Jan cry until years later....she was always trying to cheer everyone else up.

She ended up going to school, becoming a CPA ( one of a few girls I ever knew that was good at math ) Married her physical theropist, have two kids, one they adopted and one was thier "miracle" baby...that was the time I saw her cry, when she told me she was pregnant, she's a wonderful Mom, lol, and her kids learned to hold on!
Jan can drive with special hand controls, she likes her convertable cause she can just throw her chair in the back easily, she still dances in her chair, wheels in races, goes camping, fun vacations, her and her hubby bought thier dream house out in the country......and from what I understand have a great sex life still, I guess women can still orgasim with her type of injury......I don't think that is true for men....

So...that is Jan's story......"The Rain Song" by Led Zepplin will always make me think of her.......

www.youtube.com...

LOL......oh and Rocky being a Redneck must be something in the genes....cause she always thought of making the most ingenius "smoking devices" out of the wierdest things....she was very resourceful.......

reply to post by pheonix358


Hey Pheonix, I was once just like you. PTSD, childhood amnesia, and the massive detachment from feeling that seems to be correlated to it. I know how much it hurts to feel like you have no root and to see others remembering things that you may have no hope of ever finding within yourself. To give you a little hope that some good things can be regained, I'll share what I remember now after 30 years of amnesia.

My Chrissy doll from when I was maybe 4 or 5:
media-cache-ec4.pinterest.com...

The Sweet 16 Barbie I got for my 4th or 5th birthday. I remember she had a scratch and sniff aspect to her that smelled like a cloying, fake strawberry scent that I can still smell to this day just thinking about it:
www.dollreference.com...

Riding a Big Wheel when I was maybe 7 years old and loving the sound of the plastic wheel grinding into the sidewalk pavement:
www.marxtoymuseum.com...

And lots of 3d puzzles, one was just like this one: www.starmagic.com...

And Never Never Land. Wet my pants on this slide. That park seriously needed more bathrooms.
blog.thenewstribune.com...

I regained all these memories in the past year. My darkest ones are still buried but now I can remember being a kid once upon a time. I hope this brings you hope. Wish I could give you a hug because I really do know how it hurts. Better yet, I'm crying actual tears right now, something I couldn't do before. Hang in there.

Removed after second thoughts

For a few years in my childhood I was lucky enough to experience what I think was possibly the perfect childhood. We lived in Nashua, New Hampshire - in an affluent neighborhood. It was like a dream. Friendly neighbors, cops who not only patrolled the neighborhood - but also were people and part of the community. I can remember many times that the officers would park their patrol cars and play ball with us kids - or come for visits into the house and have coffee with the parents.

Things that today probably do not happen - at least not in most places.

The one memory that seems to stand out above the rest probably will seem silly to most. But man was it magical to me.

My father had come home from Vietnam and gotten a job as an FAA supervisor at Boston Center. He worked long hours ( or so that it what we were told at least - honestly I don't know. Now that I am an adult I think he probably had a girlfriend in Boston and just stayed gone to be with here. But whatever... I was a kid then and didn't notice or think such things ). He would go to work and stay gone for 3-5 days at a time.

During the summer, whenever he was home, however, we had a ritual. He had bought a small aluminium row boat. Maybe 12-15 feet. He would load this boat on the top of his car and we would head for this small lake that was about an hour from our house. It was beautiful... my memories may be faulty, but I remember the small lake being in ( or near ) some mountains and that these mountains tended to stay white at the tops - even in warm weather. There was so much green there. The water was always crisp, cold, and it smelled so fresh.

We would pull up to that lake and my dad would unload that boat, grab two fishing poles and a tackle box, load me into the boat, and push us out into the water.

I was only about 5 or 6 years old so my dad would have to put the worm on the hook for me. He would also have to take any fish I caught off of the hook. These were small fish - only a few inches in length. I have not fished since then, so I don't know what kind of fish they were.... but they were thin, flat, and had spiny fins. I imagine they were probably not very good for eating. Still I can remember getting frustrated at my father because he would patiently release every fish I caught right back into the water - and I would protest, feeling that I was "catching dinner" and he was interfering with my whole "hunter gatherer" vibe.

For his part - he'd simply row us around the lake and sip on beers while I fished the day away. Once the sun began to set, we'd work our way back to shore, load up, and return home. Often he would stop at a small meat shop and buy a couple of fish for our dinner - so that he could try and mend my broken hunter-gatherer feelings.

I imagine that this probably only lasted for 3 or 4 summers. But through the eyes of a child it seemed like we did this hundreds of times. It seemed like forever, as it still does in my memories.

Time passed, my parents divorced, and my mother, sister and I moved away from Nashua - never to return. But from that point forward I was always in love with water. All of my life I have been an avid swimmer, surfer, and boating enthusiast. Any chance I have to get to a lake or the ocean - I go. These are the only places I really feel at peace. I am not a whole person away from large bodies of water.

My dad and I became estranged as I got older. His drinking got worse and I lost that innocence that allows a child to see his father as Superman. He died in 1996 from the drinking. He and I never reconciled.

In the 17 years since his death I, myself, began to get older. In fact I am now about ten years older than my father was during those magical summers from my childhood. Age has allowed me at least some understanding of who my father really was and what might have led him into the dark places he wound up going. The anger of the later years of our relationship has faded and, these days, I find myself thinking much more about that kid, on that lake, fishing pole in hand, staring at Superman as he sipped a beer and lovingly waited to release the next caught fish.

reply to post by Hefficide

Thats a truly wonderful story. And the water and scenery i can imagine it now if i close my eyes

reply to post by Hefficide


That was sure a bitter sweet story Heff...I'm glad your able to remember happy memories with your Dad now....

I really feel you on the Water Activities...big part of my life in my youth and to this day too....I can't really explain it other then to say it's a kind of "Soul" connection.......many happy memories swimming, boating and boogie boarding in pools, the ocean, lakes and rivers.......LOL...I would tell you my canoe story, but that one might not pass T&C's......

reply to post by cody599


Hey Cody how are you mate, another interesting thread from the '599'

@Rocky - thanks for sharing your story man, brought some personal ghosts back to me but its all part of what makes life so precious.

I had an idyllic childhood in a small community on a farm in Ireland. I had so much freedom and an endless countryside to roam and explore. I had lots of great friends but was happiest in my own company. Rivers and streams provided long summer days fishing, I'd bring books about nature and spend all day reading about, and searching out plants, rocks, insects birds and animals. It was my own natural university and set me up for life.

One thing stands out right now. Waiting with giddy anticipation on lazy sunny Saturday mornings for my father to come back from town with my copy of 2000AD and a chocolate bar.
When I got it I would retire to my treehouse for a good read and a munch, it was 1978 and the world was all mine.
Happy innocent times.

reply to post by WhiteAlice


Thank you. I had 4 causal events of PTSD. Three came back all at once when I discovered a friend who had died. Having three events hit all at once was a rush, not a good one but over time I worked through the worst including a young child killed in front of me. (Killed = murder).

LOL, the fourth is still locked away. The question is 'do I really want to know what it was?'

Still I have an 'Imaginative Construct' to help with negative emotions while awake. I suppose the biggest problem is lack of decent sleep on an ongoing fashion.

All I see in my childhood is death, Mum at 3, Father at 11, Foster father at 13. and of course the little boy that I was trying to protect while we were incarcerated in an orphanage run by penquins. Hell, I was only 10 myself at the time. Took me years to conclude It was not my failure, just something I was powerless to prevent. Still see his staring eyes sometimes.

People tell be to 'put it all behind you!' STFU. Waking up in the middle of the night with your whole body mind and spirit in fear mode makes putting anything behind you difficult. I keep a Katana next to my bed just to remind myself that I am capable of protecting myself should the need arise.

Now, should I push the send button and put a downer in the thread, or push the delete button.

Keep up the good stories, I like them a lot. I am going to push send. This world can be and should be a better place.

P

reply to post by pheonix358


Reaching across the ocean to give you a hug. ((hugz))

There are things a person cannot ever put behind them, and you had your fill of them at such a young age

I lost my mom when I was seven. Decades later, that's still hard. I lost a few months of memory related to that, I remember when my dad moved us away, he made me leave my orange cat behind.
Years later, I found another orange cat, I just had to have.

I think I always resented my dad for that, plus I could never measure up to my mom. She was in the genius category. Literally.
My uncle (her brother) hold me that I had an hour long talk with her the night before she passed. Something must have stuck with me, because I developed a strong interest in the paranormal by the age of ten. My uncle told me she wasn't afraid, that she was Rosicrucian (metaphysical studies), and knew she would be continuing on to another adventure. Her only worry was me.
I don't remember being there.
I should try hypnosis one day.

A couple of old childhood memories are catching my thumb in my crib - that's my youngest memory, and around the same time period - being afraid of one of my parent's friends, only because his voice was so deep.

Childhood ended around age 13. Being raised by just a father, I wasn't home much, so I grew up fast.

Teen years were way way too much fun. I made them last a long time, well into my thirties

reply to post by snowspirit


At 11 my foster came in and sat on my bed next to me. I read him with Empathy, it was a skill I honed to know when the Penguins were about to go off their tree. He was so upset, he had to tell me my Father had died. I didn't like him feeling that way so I gave him a cuddle and told him I already knew my dad was gone and that it was a little after 2.00am that morning. He went white as a ghost but hugged me back. A very sad day.

Fast forward two years and I was sitting in a classroom when my foster father passed. I zoned out in grief for a long time then I packed my bag and just left the classroom, ignoring the teacher. I met the Principal who was coming to tell me. I saved him the trouble as well! Since it was a private school (christian) I told him my guardian angel had told me. This was back in 1971 so no mobile phones and such like.

The other memory I have is one of love, I know how much my mum loved me and yet that is all I have. It suffices.

Just thought I would share that with you. Many thanks for the hug, it was nice!

P

reply to post by pheonix358


Hugz anytime.
We're in an interesting universe. We know so little about it, we just know there is so much more than we see.
I think my mom was right, there are adventures still to be had, after this one.

Originally posted by snowspirit
reply to post by pheonix358

 

Hugz anytime.

We're in an interesting universe. We know so little about it, we just know there is so much more than we see.
I think my mom was right, there are adventures still to be had, after this one.

Your Mum is right. The difficulty sometimes is staying in this one. No, I can't, my children keep me firmly here. I could not, would not and will not voluntarily leave. It would harm them enormously. Sadly, that is all that keeps me here.

Thank you. I have been thinking of writing a short story on ATS just to give some idiots the idea of how bad childhoods affect the adult. Still thinking about it.

P

reply to post by pheonix358


Even though there's a lot of bad in this world, there's still incredible beauty. Look at one of the children that you're giving a good life to, and look at it through their eyes.

Look for the beauty

Originally posted by snowspirit
reply to post by pheonix358

 

Even though there's a lot of bad in this world, there's still incredible beauty. Look at one of the children that you're giving a good life to, and look at it through their eyes.

Look for the beauty

I do. My eldest is doing his Honors year in Psychology, has a lovely GF (At uni studying to be a teacher) and he is as happy as. My middle son has just started University doing Human Movement and is thinking of a career as a Senior High School PE teacher. His GF is studying Astrophysics. My youngest is still in high school so I have to wait for him but he is going great.

Very proud of my children am I and proud of myself at being a good Dad in spite of my history. Just wish I could find a soul mate. Not likely I tend to shun the world so unless she comes to the door ....

P

reply to post by pheonix358


Good Job Daddy.... Soul mates are a tricky thing...cause I think we have lots of them...but one's that are "cuddly" are sure nice......in the down time dogs and cats are absolutely awesome...and to be the right guy for me you would have to like kids and animals....be nice to people...have political convictions and integrity...ohhh and can take a joke...have fun.....

reply to post by pheonix358


Good Job Daddy.... Soul mates are a tricky thing...cause I think we have lots of them...but one's that are "cuddly" are sure nice......in the down time dogs and cats are absolutely awesome...and to be the right guy for me you would have to like kids and animals....be nice to people...have political convictions and integrity...ohhh and can take a joke...have fun.....

One time at band camp....wait a minute.....
Ahh childhood memories, had some good ones indeed, in which I am grateful for now. My pops often took me to the woods and fishing as a youngster and the lessons he taught me as well as awareness really connected me deeply with nature, when I still harbored that childhood magic, and so each experience was incredible, and I could never sleep the night before, because of excited anticipation. Learning how to use a bait-casting rod was an endeavor that taught me, and him, patience, which he already had, but I certainly tested it when "birdnesting" the spool. My father was into biology, and he would explain the systems and interconnectedness of so many things in the natural world. For this I am grateful

Going to the public swimming pool or water parks during the summers were great times. Skating at the rink to all the funky music was fun. Building forts and having dirt clod fights,woohoo!

I could go on, but these came to mind initially. It's cool seeing others experiences and knowing that we revisited some, hopefully positive experiences that give us a smile.

One more thing...I remember clear blue skies that had no chemtrails

Peace,
spec

My childhood was not a...good one...at home. I spent the whole school year waiting for Summer. Come Summer, I was sent off to stay with various relatives, who lived in some pretty rural areas of Louisiana and Texas. I lived for those times I stayed with them. Those are the times, where my happy memories were born

Times spent swatting clouds of mosquitoes on the bayou, while fishing Swimming in ice cold springs, and the San Marcus River. Taking horses and a wagon on week long camping trips. Sleeping on hot Summer nights on the screened on porch, falling asleep to the singing of crickets.

Riding mules pretending I was a Princess in King Authors court on a mysterious quest. Chasing chickens for Sunday dinner, collecting eggs from the hen house for breakfast. So much more. I'd bore you to death, if I kept going on.

Des