Online Dating...

reply to post by Wang Tang

Most of my dates from the past 6 years has been from online dating. I prefer free. I use Plenty of Fish.

I was a very regular forum poster on that dating site for years. Spent a good amount of time reviewing profiles and giving suggestions. In fact I suggest reading through existing threads there for direction.

I've sent a bunch of messages to girls (and I thought they were pretty charming messages) but got none back.

They probably were not as charming as you thought Not saying you aren't charming. Just that this is something I heard said a lot from upset men in the dating forum and almost always there was something off mark with the message. Of course I would have to see it to give my thoughts.

In my profiles I am honest about myself

Good Are you honest about what kind of girl you want as well? Are the girls you message inline with that? One example, if your profile says you want a 'long term relationship' are you sending girls messages who's profiles state they are interested in something else? You shouldn't be.

Am I approaching this the wrong way?

If you are comfortable I can review your profile and give thoughts. I feel I have a handle on this stuff. Can't really answer many of your questions without seeing it. Also, I suggest a free one such as Plenty of Fish. Don't pay for something that isn't bringing you positive results.

How do I message a girl to spark her interest?

First and foremost make sure you're messaging girls who's profiles gave you indication to think you're compatible to begin with. If you do that then you always have at least something to talk about that would peak their interest.

First message tip: Express interest by showing you read the profile, but don't inundate them by addressing every single thing you read, just enough so they know you're genuine. Relate to a couple interests she listed by giving a short description why you relate. Why you also enjoy them. I wouldn't even comment on appearance at all, attraction is implied with a message. Aim to be honest and interesting but limit the message intentionally. Your goal is to strike up a conversation. So don't say it all up front.

Some comic relief for those of us struggling to find that mythical "one".

Glad I logged back in, I just started speaking with the almost perfect guy!

Spose there's some hope after all OP

Originally posted by ObservingYou
Glad I logged back in, I just started speaking with the almost perfect guy!

Spose there's some hope after all OP

Not if you think there is such a thing as a perfect guy.

They all need the proper training first.

Originally posted by Hopechest

Originally posted by ObservingYou
Glad I logged back in, I just started speaking with the almost perfect guy!

Spose there's some hope after all OP

Not if you think there is such a thing as a perfect guy.

They all need the proper training first.

How many times have guys heard the words, "Why can't you accept me the way I am!" While at exactly at the same time the female mind is thinking "They all need the proper training first."

Hopechest, you gal, are not doing so well tonight!

P

Originally posted by Hopechest

Originally posted by ObservingYou
Glad I logged back in, I just started speaking with the almost perfect guy!

Spose there's some hope after all OP

Not if you think there is such a thing as a perfect guy.

They all need the proper training first.

Agreed

Women are like busses.....If you've just missed one there'll be another one along shortly

You need to kiss a lot of frogs before you finally find your 'princess' so just enjoy!

Originally posted by Hopechest
reply to post by Wang Tang

 

You are building a lie upon a lie.

I don't care what the feminist say, we want a man that will protect us and be stong. We need confidence.

I need to know that i'm safe at night with you. I don't care about the games your playing in an online questionaire.

Stand up for me, even a little thing will separate you from the rest of the pack.

Open a fricken car door for me, make me feel special.

That's all you need.

Nailed it.

Just to add, we also like to laugh.

A shameless plug for eharmony.

It's where I met my husband. We were matched around Christmas, started emailing and talking on the phone. He drove to my home city in February so we could meet, I moved to his home city in July. Engaged in September, married that March......super surprised to be pregnant in October (always told I'd never have kids).

That was eight years ago, and I love him more everyday. Couldn't ask for a better husband, father, best friend, protector......you get the idea.

Don't give up, OP. there are plenty of fish.....just make sure you're casting your line into the right pond.

Originally posted by Hopechest

Originally posted by hotel1

Originally posted by Hopechest
reply to post by Wang Tang

 

You are building a lie upon a lie.

I don't care what the feminist say, we want a man that will protect us and be stong. We need confidence.

I need to know that i'm safe at night with you. I don't care about the games your playing in an online questionaire.

Stand up for me, even a little thing will separate you from the rest of the pack.

Open a fricken car door for me, make me feel special.

That's all you need.

Hopechest your my kinda gal.

Not sure I'm gonna go for a guy with Hotel in his name.

Thanks though

Lmaopmsl!!!

Oh man that cracked me up.

Ahh...

if only it were true. I've carried bags, opened doors, complimented the little nothings for years...

worked out that that friendzone thing existed long before facebook.. but there was no memes to make you aware of it. grr

oh well, by time I find someone ridiculous enough to stand my company, I'll be senile enough not to care..

:-/

reply to post by Wang Tang
Don't give up on it! While online dating sites are "after my time" both of my daughters had long term relationships with guys the met through an online dating site. One of them lasted a year (long distance driving became too much) and the other lasted three years (and even though they broke up they are still friends and the guy is like a part of our family to this day). Sooner or later you will find some nice girls to date. The most important thing is to be yourself, but I can say when my daughters did online dating the quality that stood out the most for them was a great sense of humor. Good luck!

Originally posted by Hopechest
reply to post by Wang Tang

 

You are building a lie upon a lie.

I don't care what the feminist say, we want a man that will protect us and be stong. We need confidence.

I need to know that i'm safe at night with you. I don't care about the games your playing in an online questionaire.

Stand up for me, even a little thing will separate you from the rest of the pack.

Open a fricken car door for me, make me feel special.

That's all you need.

Not a problem.

Originally posted by Hopechest

Originally posted by ObservingYou
Glad I logged back in, I just started speaking with the almost perfect guy!

Spose there's some hope after all OP

Not if you think there is such a thing as a perfect guy.

They all need the proper training first.

I'm extremely trainable.
Just sayin

reply to post by Wang Tang


You are correct in ways that online dating shows the true state of the modern day woman's ego.

So far are we away from the day of a women thinking, 'I will cook and clean for my husband and he will go out to work in the daytime.' They gave up in that during the 80s. For the last 20 years women have been dettaching themselves from men in society by persuing financial independence. It makes us men realize they never did love us, because now that they are making their own money it is very clear that are only out to 'have fun' and not looking for true care or true love.

With that said we simply have to see the world the way it is. Girls do not love us. It doesn't matter about attraction, money and a nice car, or anything really but the type of clothes you dress in. Girls are extremely superficial, so when they go somewhere they are only thinking about what both of you look like together and the way people see you, it doesn't matter about you or your feelings.

So as stupid and pathetic as it is the only way to meet a girl is to play her game. We know that these days if you encounter a girl in public she does not want to meet you because she doesn't care about anybody, but we have to push it, we have to put on a fake smile and bring out all our charm, and we have to basically force them to meet us - that is how hard it is for us.

Girls do not have sexual attraction and actually think men look disturbing naked, and with the 20 years of gaining a conscious state of hatred for all of man they automatically almost want to run away from guys or snarl at them with evil eyes, all because guys have a natural sexual attraction.

So how do we win the online date or any other date? Simply put them on a pedalstool. The first thing a girl will do is test your emotions by putting you through something you do not want, just to see your reaction. So simply don't give them a reaction and just write them about something else, but always putting them on the pedalstool. Once you have passed the first test it is time for you to start playing the stupid game to bring them to you since you know they don't have any natural or real care so they won't ever come on their own. Start giving them attention, everything you say is a question or comment about thei situation, Everything is about them. Once you have passed this first test of their approval it is All about attention. They want you to give it to the point right when they don't want you attentino anymore, then they give you another test at this point and you have to wait until they want your attention again and not say anything. So it is a total game, they want you attention, they don't want your attention, but little do they know that your attention is the only thing that brings them to you.

It is the law of attraction when your dealing with someone who hates you and doesn't want to know you because of a judgemental attitude, yet us guys still care about love so much that we put up with all of that to just be friends with them because we know they're ego is wrong and we know they will contradict themselves right away.

reply to post by Hopechest


Check out my recent post here, it describes how your 'proper training' is nothing but mind games and egotistical wrongness that we have to put up with. But I'm glad you admit it is real and label it as such as thing like 'proper training.'

Here are the true details of your 'proper training' and yes you would never tell this.

The first thing a girl will do is test your emotions by putting you through something you do not want, just to see your reaction. So simply don't give them a reaction and just write them about something else, but always putting them on the pedalstool. Once you have passed the first test it is time for you to start playing the stupid game to bring them to you since you know they don't have any natural or real care so they won't ever come on their own. Start giving them attention, everything you say is a question or comment about thei situation, Everything is about them. Once you have passed this first test of their approval it is All about attention. They want you to give it to the point right when they don't want you attentino anymore, then they give you another test at this point and you have to wait until they want your attention again and not say anything. So it is a total game, they want you attention, they don't want your attention, but little do they know that your attention is the only thing that brings them to you.

Proper lack of care and obvious hatred, not proper training.

reply to post by greyer


Has this approach brought you much success with women?

reply to post by hotel1


Look at the alternative, when she tests you emotionally if you yell or something then she will never call you back. So what else are you going to do? You are just going to not react emotionally that is all I said. Are you suggesting that reacting emotionally will work and not reacting emotionally will not work?

I don't think you understand much at all about psychology, sorry that I'm judging I could be wrong but I'm probably right because you seem to think reacting emotionally would gain a girls attention - you are wrong if that is the case, and please don't try to take my words and make them mean something else.

The theory works but does that mean girls love me? No I have proven that they hate me for nothing but a wrong judgemental reason pushed on by society. A girl would only love me for how much attention I give, and once the attention falls out or an emotional test is failed there is no forgiveness because there never was any love in the first place, it was all work by me to pass the stupid games.

reply to post by greyer

Im not suggesting anything its was a genuine question.

reply to post by Wang Tang


I say stick with who you really are; you have presented yourself that way; you are honest; to me you doing that is your filtering process...then when someone does reply they most likely really want to get to know you. I think you are on the right track already.

Dating, like most things that involve bonding minds together are done completely wrong... and completely backwards.:

Why is it so much a man's duty to pursue a female? They are obviously going to put up some sort of front to impress a woman, whatever the intentions. Wouldn't this lead to "acting?'' Of course women see men as needing training to work out in the long run... they are acting just to get to 2nd base. Sounds like a dumb plan of attack to obtain success if you ask me. Woman says in their deep subconscious, "yeah, let's train a guy and change him, cross my fingers that he changes, commit to just me forever, and take care of my children for the long haul."

I believe it is women that should be the initiators of relationships. If not for the fact that it would simply break down all the acting that men do to get a relationship, but for the fact that odds would greatly increase the percentages that men would stick around for the long haul to raise the children.

I consider myself a lifelong bachelor for these very reasons. And, I want nothing more than to settle down with a good woman and raise our children. It just has to be up to the woman to approach me to get to that goal, and not vise versa.

So ladies! My mailbox is always open! You're letting this good catch go to waste!