Hypothetical Question(s):

Originally posted by kaylaluv
reply to post by SearchLightsInc

 

1. It's never okay to cheat.

2. It's never okay to cheat.

3. Open communication is needed to find out what the problem is.

Quoted because this would have been my response had I answered sooner.

No excuse is big enough to outweigh the hurt cheating causes! .... I believe Karma will get you eventually.

You've been married a couple years. You've had a relatively stable relationship but then suddenly your partner stops having sex with you.

1) Is it okay to cheat?
2) How long before its okay?
3) Cheating is not an option, how do you go about resolving the issue?

1) No. Cheating is betrayal.
2) There isn't an amount of time where it's ok...see 1)
3) Talk to your partner and find/work on the roadblock. Communication is the key.

Problem may even be medical...so there is that angle.

Originally posted by SearchLightsInc
You've been married a couple years. You've had a relatively stable relationship but then suddenly your partner stops having sex with you.

1) Is it okay to cheat?
2) How long before its okay?
3) Cheating is not an option, how do you go about resolving the issue?

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP LOOKING FOR THE "ITS OKAY TO CHEAT ANSWER"

Basically some guy on jeremy kyle set up an online dating profile because his wife stopped having sex with him. Wanted to know how other people would go about resolving the issue, im not trying to advocate cheating is okay.

edit on 20-2-2013 by SearchLightsInc because: (no reason given)

Here's my theoretical answers (Coming from a guy who's parents are divorced, and that one of the GF's parents cheated on the other) :

1. No, pure & simple - even if the other person is driving you completely bonkers (trust me, having sex is the least of the theoretical concerns that should be had), and you're downright miserable all the time. If you're purposely trying to hurt them, then yes, it's alright to cheat.

2. Hate to sound like a hater, but it's never alright to cheat.

3. This one is the easiest to answer.

First, ask yourself if there's a way to solve this through without being miserable or angry with the person (AKA: TALK to them). Obviously, if there's abuse involved, or you just "don't like them any more", then talking may not cut it. I would try couples' therapy before cheating - much more civilized.

Second, if it doesn't "work out", why not just get a divorce? Let me give you a run down of how it would look if you cheated:

1. You cheat with person X.
2. You get discovered by married partner Y.
3. Not only is it over, but Y now wants to kill both X and yourself. Prepare for divorce, "friend" of the court (if there are kids involved), and lots & lots of money loss*.
4. Long battle in court ensures - both you & X are dragged "through the spotlight" (X will suffer as well as yourself, so good job, now X has to hurt as well).
5. Battle ends, and X & yourself emerge together (the victors, or most likely, the losers)

*There are some exceptions to this of course - if married person Y was abusive (physically or verbally), or never took care of the (house, pets, kids, etc), then going to court will look better in your favor.

Now, here's a look if you do a divorce:
1. You divorce married person Y.
2. You may have to go to court, but it won't be as bad for you (because you didn't cheat).
3. Marriage ends with person Y. You may be friends, or never talk to each other again, but at the least, you are "free" to do whatever again.
4. Person X enters the spotlight - this time, you are "free" to date person X, and it won't be frowned upon.

-fossilera

PS:
1. When I say "You" in the post, I don't mean "You" specifically OP.

2, Theoretically, I'd say it's pretty shallow to want to "cheat" in the relationship because your significant other won't have sex with you - If my partner started cheating for sex, I'd look at her, and remind her that she married me, for better or worse (and also remind her that there's a special type of marriage for her called "friends with benefits"). People that are that needy for sex should consider that relationship type instead of marriage in the first place

Basically some guy on jeremy kyle set up an online dating profile because his wife stopped having sex with him. Wanted to know how other people would go about resolving the issue, im not trying to advocate cheating is okay.

This is where communication needs to come in....the guy needs to find out WHY she won't have sex with him, before making any other move. Working on the CAUSE...that's the real solution...not cheating on her.