Unfair courts in this craphole country!

I is about 7pm my time and there has been no replies for many hours.

I am leaving for a few days with my family & children to do some camping tomorrow.

So, if I do not answer, now you know why.

Originally posted by greenovni
Am I RESPONSIBLE for a child that is NOT biologically mine?

You shouldn't be, of course. But 18 years ago you blew it big time. You made the wrong decisions. We can easily chalk that up to a naive 17 year old who simply did not understand, someone who was bullied by his own mother into accepting paternity. Perhaps many of us here would have been pressured into the same decisions had we been there. On the other hand we weren't all screwing older women when we were 17 either. Here you are at 35 18 years later still unable to see your own part in this sorry state of affairs. You appear to accept no responsibility at all when it is your actions that set this whole train in motion.

1. You slept with her, right? No disagreement. You did.
2. You signed the papers your mother told you, right? No disagreement there either.

The point is that your ACTIONS set this whole thing going. If you had not done either of those things, we wouldn't be having this discussion. You bear responsibility for that, whether you accept it or not. The fact that you do not is driving a lot of your emotion here. You want to be completely absolved, which is not going to happen.

Now let's jump to Phase Two here. At some point a DNA test was done, well after the fact. It sounds like it was YEARS, but we're a bit fuzzy on this point. In any case, this requires the mother's participation. And after the test came back for some reason you say the courts would not accept that.

And here is where it gets very strange. We have testimony right here on this thread that details what to do by someone who actually works in the field. You apparently did not do it. You did not avail yourself of legal help. You apparently contacted the wrong authorities. You're trying to do all this from out of state. It sounds very much as if you were completely inept in dealing with this--just like you were when you were 17.

The fact is that your presentation throughout all this has been completely disorganized, flying from one point to another with no paragraphs, no logical flow of points. It's a mess! It's taken days of pulling teeth to get the story out of you in a way that we can even understand. Your timeline is totally screwed.Your opening essay is simply an emotional rant. If this is how you present yourself to the courts or whomever then NO WONDER you never got anywhere! Quite honestly I really thought we were dealing with a 17 year old right now. I thought, 'wow, this guy has something going for him if he got a landscaping business going so well at such a young age.'

And now, finally, oh, BY THE WAY, the kid is now 18 and you're 35.

WTF??????? You just didn't happen to mention that before. The kid is now officially an adult. It's over. We're talking about a story from 1995.

In other words, this whole thing is a moot point. The issue is not you paying child support; it is recovering the child support you already paid.

Well, good luck. I hope you win. But get a lawyer. I simply do not believe you can handle doing this on your own.

Originally posted by schuyler

Originally posted by greenovni
Am I RESPONSIBLE for a child that is NOT biologically mine?

You shouldn't be, of course. But 18 years ago you blew it big time. You made the wrong decisions. We can easily chalk that up to a naive 17 year old who simply did not understand, someone who was bullied by his own mother into accepting paternity. Perhaps many of us here would have been pressured into the same decisions had we been there. On the other hand we weren't all screwing older women when we were 17 either. Here you are at 35 18 years later still unable to see your own part in this sorry state of affairs. You appear to accept no responsibility at all when it is your actions that set this whole train in motion.

1. You slept with her, right? No disagreement. You did.
2. You signed the papers your mother told you, right? No disagreement there either.

The point is that your ACTIONS set this whole thing going. If you had not done either of those things, we wouldn't be having this discussion. You bear responsibility for that, whether you accept it or not. The fact that you do not is driving a lot of your emotion here. You want to be completely absolved, which is not going to happen.

Now let's jump to Phase Two here. At some point a DNA test was done, well after the fact. It sounds like it was YEARS, but we're a bit fuzzy on this point. In any case, this requires the mother's participation. And after the test came back for some reason you say the courts would not accept that.

And here is where it gets very strange. We have testimony right here on this thread that details what to do by someone who actually works in the field. You apparently did not do it. You did not avail yourself of legal help. You apparently contacted the wrong authorities. You're trying to do all this from out of state. It sounds very much as if you were completely inept in dealing with this--just like you were when you were 17.

The fact is that your presentation throughout all this has been completely disorganized, flying from one point to another with no paragraphs, no logical flow of points. It's a mess! It's taken days of pulling teeth to get the story out of you in a way that we can even understand. Your timeline is totally screwed.Your opening essay is simply an emotional rant. If this is how you present yourself to the courts or whomever then NO WONDER you never got anywhere! Quite honestly I really thought we were dealing with a 17 year old right now. I thought, 'wow, this guy has something going for him if he got a landscaping business going so well at such a young age.'

And now, finally, oh, BY THE WAY, the kid is now 18 and you're 35.

WTF??????? You just didn't happen to mention that before. The kid is now officially an adult. It's over. We're talking about a story from 1995.

In other words, this whole thing is a moot point. The issue is not you paying child support; it is recovering the child support you already paid.

Well, good luck. I hope you win. But get a lawyer. I simply do not believe you can handle doing this on your own.

Agreed. I fuxxed up big time at that time.

Like I've said over and over, I am just trying for the court to accept a pay-off amount that is reasonable.

I've also said it over and over, I know that I am stuck on this... no biggie there. I also have stated numerous times that once the courts crap got adjusted for the amount that they have overcharged that I have no problem in cutting a check and getting it to them.

I do not know what you are talking about a landscaping business... The original op built a landscaping business, not me so you might be confusing our postings.

I've dealt with this from out of state because there is an open case here which is where I've gone to court over and over.

You might want to read the thread so you can see that the original OP and myself are two very different people with 2 very different problems & my stand on the situation.

The fact is that your presentation throughout all this has been completely disorganized, flying from one point to another with no paragraphs, no logical flow of points. It's a mess! It's taken days of pulling teeth to get the story out of you in a way that we can even understand. Your timeline is totally screwed.Your opening essay is simply an emotional rant. If this is how you present yourself to the courts or whomever then NO WONDER you never got anywhere! Quite honestly I really thought we were dealing with a 17 year old right now. I thought, 'wow, this guy has something going for him if he got a landscaping business going so well at such a young age.'

2 different people, 2 different child support cases, 2 different timelines which is what confused you.

I've been consistent with my situation from post 1 saying the same things over and over and over and over...

The point still stands.

yes, I had a DNA test many years later, DNA says

not my child.

The State that I currently reside in took forever and a day to tell me that my motions were a no go here.

You see, I was under the impression that because they opened up a court case for a foreign support case anything that was decided here would apply to CT since they are the same case.]

Obviously, that is not the case...

Originally posted by greenovni
not my child.

The State that I currently reside in took forever and a day to tell me that my motions were a no go here.

You see, I was under the impression that because they opened up a court case for a foreign support case anything that was decided here would apply to CT since they are the same case.]

Obviously, that is not the case...

edit on 31-1-2013 by greenovni because: (no reason given)

And what ever possesed you to think that the state you were in could possibly have any bearing on the original state? And again, the kid's 18 now, why do you need a payout amount? Sorry this gets even more twisted and that's leaving out anything about the op...

Originally posted by vkey08
And what ever possesed you to think that the state you were in could possibly have any bearing on the original state? And again, the kid's 18 now, why do you need a payout amount? Sorry this gets even more twisted and that's leaving out anything about the op...

I've seen lots of guys with this sort of issue, even when it really is their kid. They are so consumed by anger that that's all you see--the anger and nothing else. They wallow in it so much that you can barely get them to state the facts. They get angry at a whole bunch of people and are incapable of taking a step back to present the facts objectively, in order, so at least we can see the chain of events. This is a good example. It's taken several days to get the whole story, which likely is NOT the whole story at all.

This guy has spent nearly two decades seething in anger so much that it has made him inept at actually dealing with the issue. He's essentially in the same space he was in 1995 when he was 17 years old. With the kid now an adult at 18 no court in the land would wind up saying the mother has to pay back the child support. That's because it's a moot point. OP couldn't get his act together to challenge this for almost two decades. Whose fault is that?

It's over. The only person who doesn't know it is the OP.