Unfair courts in this craphole country!

Your guys still do not get it.

I had a DNA test done here in my State. DNA came back as I am not the biological dad of this child. Not to mention that the mother of the child is the one that told me that 'I was not the father of this child".

The State had taken the case of child support because she was/is on welfare.

She named me as the father - I was then 'daddy by default'.

AFTER this child support case was 'done and over with' where I lost by default, my mother had the bright idea of forcing me to sing a delayed birth certificate.

She did not sign this, she forced ME to sign it & that sealed my fate as the "legal dad" of this child. I was 17 at the time, what in the world did I know about the repercussions of signing that form?

Years later, I started studying the rules of civil procedure for my state and learned them quite well.

Now, I know that I am stuck with this bill for a child that is NOT mine so I am working on getting a 'pay off' amount so this file can finally be closed.

Originally posted by nixie_nox
reply to post by greenovni

 

Really? MILLIONS of women?
Got any proof of that?
And I don't care if hundreds of millions of women claim false paternity, that doesn't give you the right to take away support for ONE child.

You MUST be out of your mind! If the child is not biologically mine, why am I financially responsible?

So you do not care that millions of women claim false paternity? That is FRAUD!

I agree that the child should be supported, but BY THEIR REAL FATHERS, not a duped dad.

So this man should keep paying for a child that there is DNA on record at the court the exculpates him because he is the "legal dad"?

First off, any male that goes around calling women femi nazy doesn't get any credit to begin with, as it is a sign of a weak and insecure boy.

You scream how the courts don't care about the children, neither do you. All you do is scream femi nazy, the courts are bastards don't care.

Yes, to FORCE NON BIOLOGICAL "Fathers" to supply 10s of thousands of dollars as "support" for a child that is not theirs is a feminist movement bag of crapola

Funny how you have yet to mention any wrong doing on any man's part, or their responsibility in the matter.

What Responsibility? Not my DNA, Not my child! It is THAT simple!

Between your bellyaching and oh I am a victim performance, and now teaching people how to not support the child they created, all you have shown is how to be a spineless sleazeball.

Are you nuts? I DID NOT create that child. And the 2 children that I did create, live here, are well supported and quite happy.

Plus, you say I go around teaching people how not to support "the child they created" where did I EVER say that in any of my posting?

What I DID say is that I KNOW how to beat a 'contempt of court" BS charge - and have thought others.



Bad enough you already sound like a bad used car salesman.

" I can show you how to stiff a mother and make sure children are not fed for only 9.99! Call now to find out how!"

A child should have support from BOTH parents. My STAND is that they should both be the BIOLOGICAL PARENTS.

How hard is that to understand?

edit on 30-1-2013 by nixie_nox because: (no reason given)

reply to post by greenovni


A document signed under duress is not a legal document...

Again I call BS, these are basic rules, "My mommy forced me to sign it after the fact so I became the legal daddy" How old were you? Your MOMMY MADE YOU SIGN? Do you see how off this sounds?

If i were a judge i'd be arching my eyebrows and questioning it all too..

Originally posted by vkey08
reply to post by nixie_nox

 

NN: I kinda liked how even after I let him know that GA13 (our primary court) stated he could reopen his case, he comes up with a bunch of reasons why it doesn't apply to him, which goes back to my initial statement, something it's being said here.

Notice that that happens easily because Mom and State are on the same side. But what would have happened if Colon had wanted to reopen the case and contest the finding of paternity? “

The threshold is very high,” Assistant Attorney General Guido said. A paternity test proving that the man is not the biological father is often not enough.

Notice that the CT State attorney says that the threshold is very high. In other words, I need to prove that I was defrauded. How do you suggest I do that? And a DNA test that proves that I am not the father is not enough.

to clarify: The clerk stated it could be 30 years later, if you have proof that wasn't available at the initial hearing then you need to reopen the case, Connecticut does NOT have a time limit on proof of paternity, esp if it's been contested for this long.

It was contested many years later when DNA was available, thus putting me in the position of missing the CT deadlines to be removed as the 'legal' dad.

However.. to
greenovni

A mother cannot in Connecticut sign off paternity on a child (You claim your mother signed that you were the father) that is patently illegal, and no court here would have done that, if YOU signed it, then it's your responsibility, end of statement.

I never claimed that MY mother signed this. I claimed that she forced ME to sign a delayed birth certificate.

If there is now proof that it wasn't yours then make sure you get the case re-heard IN CONNECTICUT, forget about where you are now, they CANNOT take away another state's ruling that you were responsible, they are only acting upon the Connecticut ruling in the matter.

Agreed! Finally we see eye to eye on something. Notice that I never said I needed a hearing to 'modify anything' or a even a hearing to 'remove me from child support'. I just need a hearing to come up with a payoff amount!

The 'child in question' is now 18 years old so I KNOW that I am stuck with the money owed,

I just want them to come off with a reasonable payoff amount in order to close this file.

Quite simple.

That's the part you aren't understanding.. No-where else will even entertain your claim until CT changes their ruling.

Agreed.

Now, the system has flaws, but this is one time if what you say is true (and I highly doubt it is after talking with the main court in Hartford about what the procedure would be) that you would be able to easily (in a day) take care of the situation.

No way to take care of this in one day.

The fact that you haven't' and keep trying to dig up cases that have nothing to do with yours as proof you can't says volumes..

The cases I've posted are all the same. Dads that have children that are not biologically theirs, being stuck with an outrageous bill with no way out.

Just like I am.

Originally posted by vkey08
reply to post by greenovni

 

A document signed under duress is not a legal document...

Agreed

Again I call BS, these are basic rules, "My mommy forced me to sign it after the fact so I became the legal daddy" How old were you? Your MOMMY MADE YOU SIGN? Do you see how off this sounds?

I was already the daddy by default because I did not appear in court to contest it since I did not received a summons.

If the man doesn’t show up, a default judgment will be issued against him, establishing his paternity and assessing an amount of child support.

Source

If i were a judge i'd be arching my eyebrows and questioning it all too..

I already stated many times that I was 17 years old and the mother of this child was 26 and all of this mess resulted from a 1 night stand.

reply to post by greenovni


Dig it a little deeper..

if you were 17 and she was 26, (and now I'll tell you I work in LE in Connecticut, so I know this one very very well) it would under Connecticut law be considered statutory rape and she would still be in jail for it. So there is no way your story is even 1% true, as any court in Connecticut would have immediately arrested her if it came out she had sex with a minor, AND your signature on the BC would not be legally binding etc etc etc.. starting to get the picture?

No you're an angry man on a crusade to paint women in a bad light, of they all trap unsuspecting guys into child support.

IF this were even a little bit true, you would have been able to have it overturned default or not, by virtue of the fact that you were still a minor and she was an adult in the eyes of the law. SO please, unless there's some magical land here in the state where the common laws don't apply to just you and this girl and somehow your mother as well (who would also have been arrested for aiding and abetting the corruption of a minor if she forced you to sign a 26 year old's child's BC) tell the truth..

Also, this is what is going on in CT at this time

That’s because, once paternity is established, either by genetic testing or by acknowledgement by the man, Connecticut law only allows the matter to be revisited (reopened) in the case of “fraud, duress or material mistake of fact.” In short, it’s next to impossible for a man to change his mind at a later date and get the court to order testing. Once he agrees, he’s stuck with his decision.

Remember that I was "daddy" by default. and after the fact, my mother forced my minor butt to sign for the birth certificate...

Perhaps you should take your mother to court.

Perhaps I should.

The issue is becoming clearer. Babies having babies. Here we have a couple of minors having unprotected sex and then wondering how she could ever get pregnant.

If you read my postings, the lady was 26 at the time and I was 17.

Was she screwing around? Maybe, but so were you. Do you know what a condom is? Why did you not use one? If you are not the biological father it was just luck.

Whether luck or no luck, the fact still is that I am not the biological father to the child who just turned 18 by the way, so why am I responsible for this?

If you can't convince your own Mommy the kid isn't yours, how will you convince a judge?

It wasn't a fact of convincing my mother. The child's mother swore up and down that it was my child for years. I told my mother, that yes I slept with her 1 time and that is all it took to have my mother go on a war path and pressure me into signing a delayed birth cert

Sounds like you legally ackowledged paternity, perhaps because your Mommy 'forced" you to, and now you want to back out.

Paternity was established by the court by default because I did not show up to court. I never received a summons so I was not aware of any court case. The delayed birth certificate was done after this fact.

DNA tests are a recent phenomena.

Yes, this was not available many years ago.

But now you can buy them at a drugstore and get the results in a few days. Of course, this requires a DNA swab from BOTH parents. If it's like you say it is, why not do so and post the results? Prove your case. All you're doing now is flailing about.

DNA test was done in the State I now reside and came back that I am not the bio dad. Cases are proven in court, not on ATS.

I know OP won't appreciate this, so this is not for him. "Acknowledging paternity" is the way cultures have decided this issue for thousands of years. It's not as if it's rare or new. It used to be a hearing before the village elders rather than a judge. "Acknowledging paternity" meant the child (and perhaps the woman as well) lived and was accepted into the family and community. Many a man of character in the past has acknowledged paternity knowing full well the kid wasn't his. But it kept society peaceful rather than let it degenerate into a rage of self-indulgent fornication.

I agree that children need support and I do quite well with my 2 children which are biologically mine. They live here, are raised in a 2 parent home etc. Quite happy children.

Even the one that is not biologically mine was receiving support payments UNTIL that DNA test came back.

My fight now is to come to a reasonable payoff amount in light of the new DNA evidence since the child in question just turned 18.

If you are mad at anyone, get mad at your Mommy for forcing you into legally acknowledging paternity. Then apply to be on the Maury Show so we can all get a good laugh. Be sure to post here when you will be on. I'll be sure and record it.

This generation has become something to laugh at, hence the Maury show. There is no need for that on this end.

Even this poor girl is trying so hard to find who her real father is that is quite sad. I think she has the RIGHT to know who her real father is.

Unfortunately, the mother of the child in my case does not know or does not want to say who her real father is.

My proposal to end all of this paternity fraud would be to test each and every single child with DNA at time of birth. If the NON-BIO dad then wants to take responsibility for the child, he can do that. Informed decision and all.

What pisses me off is being FORCED by the courts and when DNA is available years later, he is stuck paying the fraudster for something that he is not responsible for.

Dig it a little deeper..

if you were 17 and she was 26, (and now I'll tell you I work in LE in Connecticut, so I know this one very very well) it would under Connecticut law be considered statutory rape and she would still be in jail for it.

Please! How many times have we seen right here on ATS women that sleep with their students and hardly anything happens to them?

In my case, it was a 'civil' case (child support) and no one ever mentioned statutory anything. Not one time!

So there is no way your story is even 1% true, as any court in Connecticut would have immediately arrested her if it came out she had sex with a minor,

Bull! That might happen now but it surely didn't happen then. I don't know if the judge at Waterbury superior overlooked my age or simply ignored it to make what you say true.

As a matter of fact, I don't remember anyone asking my age in that one civil proceeding after I was hauled into court for non-payment since there was already an order I knew nothing about.

AND your signature on the BC would not be legally binding etc etc etc.. starting to get the picture?

Signature on the delayed BC not legally binding? I'm going to have to look into that as I have no info about that one way or the other.

No you're an angry man on a crusade to paint women in a bad light, of they all trap unsuspecting guys into child support.

Not true. I say that paternity fraud is rampant in the USA. I say that it needs to change. I say that non-bio dads are not financially responsible to children that are not theirs.

But in no way do I say women are bad. I know many women that are awesome, awesome people.

That includes my awesome wife that is also LE here in our State (very hard job)

IF this were even a little bit true, you would have been able to have it overturned default or not, by virtue of the fact that you were still a minor and she was an adult in the eyes of the law.

I told the judge that in CT in a hearing a few years later and he did not care one bit. So please stop acting like courts are bundles of virtues and justice when both you and I know that is not true unless you have a ton of money to get justice.

SO please, unless there's some magical land here in the state where the common laws don't apply to just you and this girl and somehow your mother as well (who would also have been arrested for aiding and abetting the corruption of a minor if she forced you to sign a 26 year old's child's BC) tell the truth..

They applied the law by default, tired of saying the same thing over and over.

You know as well as I do that the courts do all kinds of shady things, and being that my case is so old what can I do about it now?

reply to post by vkey08


Taking a minute to ask you a question.

Do you think that a person who is not biologically the father of a child should be stuck paying child support?

Do you support paternity fraud "In the best interest of the child"?

Do you think that a child should know who their real father is or do you think they should only know who "can afford them"?

Do you think that someone who has been defrauded into the contract of child support and finds out years later that they are not the father should be able to sue the mother of the child for all the money he spent supporting a child that is not his?

Do you think the rights of the child are more important than the person defrauded into thinking that the child was his?

reply to post by greenovni


And you're still not grasping this..

You were 17, she was 26.. Under this state's laws, now and 50 years ago, the woman would be in jail, point blank and that's that. Don't talk about how many threads on ATS there are about teachers and students etc etc, that is irrelevant to the case you are putting forward, Connecticut judges do not want to lose their jobs and would never have allowed this to go forward, civil or otherwise, and if this were family court, forget it, 40 years ago they were tossing girls in jail for screwing 16 , 17 year olds, IN WATERBURY.. so this is nothing new..

Your story reeks of half truths and "im a victim"

I know the laws here very very well, a lot of them have not been changed, but you even miss crap in your own spew...

UNDER DURESS you know that means if you were forced to sign something eh? You can reopen up to 150 years past the date if you can prove you were under duress.. You posted the law yourself so, hmmm.. why haven't you done this? I'll tell you why... Because there's more here than meets the eye and you don't want a court to reopen it, you want to whine about it on ATS to everyone and look like a victim for attention.

Sorry the minute you posted that you were a minor and she wasn't anything you said after that is just hot air, you can't make a decision of that magnitiude in this state at that age, no civil court would have dragged you in if they knew your age at the time, it' s just illegal.. got that, ask your wife about statutory rape, and how courts normally deal with it...

Something's not true, and if you're lying to keep your marriage intact, I don't really care, if you're lying because you're embarrassed, again I don't care, but don't try to play victim, and claim you can't when it's been shown, that you can...

Originally posted by greenovni
reply to post by vkey08

 

Taking a minute to ask you a question.

Do you think that a person who is not biologically the father of a child should be stuck paying child support?

Do you support paternity fraud "In the best interest of the child"?

Do you think that a child should know who their real father is or do you think they should only know who "can afford them"?

Do you think that someone who has been defrauded into the contract of child support and finds out years later that they are not the father should be able to sue the mother of the child for all the money he spent supporting a child that is not his?

Do you think the rights of the child are more important than the person defrauded into thinking that the child was his?

Well of course not and that is why the Connecticut Legislature passed a law a few years back (under Gov Rell's administration) that broadened the requirements to amend paternity in the state, plain and simple, it extended the filing deadline under 3 circumstances, you meet two of them, Material Error and Duress, and made it easier to fight old mistakes, my problem with your story is the cascading mistakes that were made, as there's no time limit on Statutory rape charges in CT, she could still be brought to bear, and mommy dearest could as well for knowingly not reporting it. Getting it now? this went this many years without ANYONE, and there are people that check cases to make sure they are handled properly that are citizens in this state, and not political people, seeing this rape?

Sorry, been in LE for many years, never seen our courts here be that inept.. if one judge misses something, another normally catches up, add that to the fact that Terrance Sullivan was the presiding Superior Court Judge (overseeing family and criminal and civil) in Waterbury for many years, and he would have nailed it, (He doesn't have the nickname Terrible Terrance for nothin ya know) just doesn't fly...

Originally posted by vkey08
reply to post by greenovni

 

And you're still not grasping this..

You were 17, she was 26.. Under this state's laws, now and 50 years ago, the woman would be in jail, point blank and that's that. Don't talk about how many threads on ATS there are about teachers and students etc etc, that is irrelevant to the case you are putting forward, Connecticut judges do not want to lose their jobs and would never have allowed this to go forward, civil or otherwise, and if this were family court, forget it, 40 years ago they were tossing girls in jail for screwing 16 , 17 year olds, IN WATERBURY.. so this is nothing new..

Your story reeks of half truths and "im a victim"

I know the laws here very very well, a lot of them have not been changed, but you even miss crap in your own spew...

UNDER DURESS you know that means if you were forced to sign something eh? You can reopen up to 150 years past the date if you can prove you were under duress.. You posted the law yourself so, hmmm.. why haven't you done this? I'll tell you why... Because there's more here than meets the eye and you don't want a court to reopen it, you want to whine about it on ATS to everyone and look like a victim for attention.

Sorry the minute you posted that you were a minor and she wasn't anything you said after that is just hot air, you can't make a decision of that magnitiude in this state at that age, no civil court would have dragged you in if they knew your age at the time, it' s just illegal.. got that, ask your wife about statutory rape, and how courts normally deal with it...

Something's not true, and if you're lying to keep your marriage intact, I don't really care, if you're lying because you're embarrassed, again I don't care, but don't try to play victim, and claim you can't when it's been shown, that you can...

Bullcrap! none of that was even mentioned when I went to family court in CT many years ago. And you know as well as I do that there is a really bad bias when it come to Statutory rape between men / women.

The gap is tremendous and you know this, crap, everyone knows this.

No one mentioned Statutory anything, not one time.

I am def only a victim of PATERNITY FRAUD - nothing else!

Funny how you skip over all of the news clips and even court recordings showing paternity fraud over and over again and act like it does not happen at all. I suggest you go back and take a look at all of those videos.

UNDER DURESS you know that means if you were forced to sign something eh? You can reopen up to 150 years past the date if you can prove you were under duress.. You posted the law yourself so, hmmm.. why haven't you done this? I'll tell you why... Because there's more here than meets the eye and you don't want a court to reopen it, you want to whine about it on ATS to everyone and look like a victim for attention.

You said it yourself. If you can PROVE that I was under duress. How in the world do you suggest I do that? Put my own mother in jail?

My mother is only guilty of really believing that this was her first grandchild. Up to this day, even after the DNA, this girl is my mothers 'favorite' grandchild. Simply because 'she needs a family and all'.

Sorry the minute you posted that you were a minor and she wasn't anything you said after that is just hot air, you can't make a decision of that magnitiude in this state at that age, no civil court would have dragged you in if they knew your age at the time, it' s just illegal.. got that, ask your wife about statutory rape, and how courts normally deal with it...

I agree with you there. But it did not end up that way. Whether the judge overlooked my age or simply did not notice, it just did not happen that way.

Plus, I've never said I was raped, I just said that when all this crap went down, I was a minor. I'm complaining about it not, but I really did not raised a stink about it then.

Something's not true, and if you're lying to keep your marriage intact, I don't really care, if you're lying because you're embarrassed, again I don't care, but don't try to play victim, and claim you can't when it's been shown, that you can...

Why would I lie to keep my marriage intact? I was married many, many years after this fiasco.

Embarrassed of what?

Having to pay for a child that is not my BIO child?

Funny how you are trying to find any fault and place it this way when the fact of the matter is that the child is NOT biologically mine and I should not be financially responsible.

See how simple that is?

Originally posted by vkey08

Well of course not and that is why the Connecticut Legislature passed a law a few years back (under Gov Rell's administration) that broadened the requirements to amend paternity in the state, plain and simple, it extended the filing deadline under 3 circumstances, you meet two of them, Material Error and Duress, and made it easier to fight old mistakes, my problem with your story is the cascading mistakes that were made, as there's no time limit on Statutory rape charges in CT, she could still be brought to bear, and mommy dearest could as well for knowingly not reporting it. Getting it now? this went this many years without ANYONE, and there are people that check cases to make sure they are handled properly that are citizens in this state, and not political people, seeing this rape?

Sorry, been in LE for many years, never seen our courts here be that inept.. if one judge misses something, another normally catches up, add that to the fact that Terrance Sullivan was the presiding Superior Court Judge (overseeing family and criminal and civil) in Waterbury for many years, and he would have nailed it, (He doesn't have the nickname Terrible Terrance for nothin ya know) just doesn't fly...

Actually, I just had an idea!

I plan to go to CT sometime this year since the courts in my state can't do crap about this without CT giving the order.

If I were to do that, would you like to get together and take a look at this mess with me since I am not well versed in CT law?

I can kick butt here because I know the rules of civil procedure for my state but CT is a different monster.

Plus what I have put motions on this end is not about severing the legal obligations to my non-bio kid. All I want is a reasonable payoff amount.

As a matter of fact which I mentioned before, my state raised the weekly amount by $100 a week "by mistake" and they still have not fixed it.

See, you are sitting there thinking that I am the worst person in the world. What you do not know is that I always paid that child support until the DNA came back as not mine.

I am actually a stay @ home dad of 2 children while my lovely LE wife is out there fighting crime (I swear she wears a red cape and all) I do everything that needs to be done in the house, everything the kids need as well as work from home to make the money for the bills.

My whole point of this fiasco is that I am not the bio-dad even though everyone in my family has a great relationship with this girl and the payoff amount should be adjusted accordingly.

As a matter of fact, my family is the only family that this girl has ever known and nothing will change that. She will always be part of the family.

Well of course not and that is why the Connecticut Legislature passed a law a few years back (under Gov Rell's administration) that broadened the requirements to amend paternity in the state, plain and simple, it extended the filing deadline under 3 circumstances, you meet two of them, Material Error and Duress, and made it easier to fight old mistakes

Yes, they passed this law a few years back. I have not been to CT since those laws were passed and have been trying to fight this here in my State instead of the State that gave the order.

I agree that I meet some of those circumstances, but I will still be stuck for any previous child support. Unless CT decided to wipe the slate clean and I'm not sure if they do that.

my problem with your story is the cascading mistakes that were made, as there's no time limit on Statutory rape charges in CT, she could still be brought to bear, and mommy dearest could as well for knowingly not reporting it. Getting it now?

A cascade of mistakes.. that's an understatement!

Also, understand that I left CT when the child was about 1 year old, the case was then transferred to my state, can things get overlooked? Of course!

But I do not know if the right course of action are jail terms to the child's mother (who at this time has cancer for what I hear). I left CT to do my own life without overbearing family members trying to dictate the course of it. So I really have not done anything to the CT child support file in terms of motions etc.

Everything I've done has been here, thinking that it would make a difference which it did not.

this went this many years without ANYONE, and there are people that check cases to make sure they are handled properly that are citizens in this state, and not political people, seeing this rape?

I never said I was raped and I am not a rape victim. I do not know what happens to cases that are transfered out of State so I have no answer to that.

Does the case get closed there and opened here? Are both files opened in both jurisdictions? I have absolutely no clue.

But arguing/talking to you has put some things in my head that now I must look into and for that I thank you!

Bottom line is this.

I am trying to do the honorable thing here. As much as I hate that a non biological 'father' can be on the hook legally for child support because he became the 'legal' dad by either default, fraud, birth certificate signing etc.

I know that this girl can really use the money as she now has her own family and goes to school.

All I want the court to do is the right thing.

That is to adjust the $100 weekly overcharge that they placed by 'mistake' for a few years here in my State. (My State did that, not CT).

Once this is adjusted, I want the court and I to come up with a reasonable pay-off amount so I can cut a check.

That simple.

[UPDATE] I called the State of CT support enforcement office and they said that the child support case if CLOSED because the child has reached an age of majority. I was asked for my mailing address because they sent a letter to the address that they had on file to inform me of this and the letter was returned to them as they had the wrong address.

The last time I jumped into one of these child support conversations was back before I became a moderator. What I thought would be a quick, first page, one or two sentence statement turned into about a 100 pages of pure war between myself and a group of guys who couldn't get past their own anger towards their ex's and the misogynistic mindset that their lives either caused them or they were raised with.

So I hesitate to write this... but am also compelled to do so.

My sons mother left me for another man when my son was about a year old, give or take a few months. It happened in 1990 - so I no longer remember the exact date. What I do know is that for about the first six months to a year my ex totally abused my "visitation" rights by throwing my son on me way more often than the temporary terms we'd agreed to called for. At the time I was working as a manager in a 25/7/365 business and was working 80-100 hours a week - every single week. I was single and my biological relatives were not only not helpful - they were angry at my ex, so they literally did everything they could to sabotage the entire situation. I guess they thought they were "showing her". In reality all they were doing was making a nearly impossible situation, for me, even worse.

When I finally couldn't cope any longer and told my ex ( during the divorce process ) that she couldn't just bring our son over and leave him for five or six straight days - as I had a heavy work schedule and a very hard time finding child care? She went the other direction and, from that point forward, I only saw my son one more time - three Christmases later, for about 2 hours.

That's ever. To this day I have not seen my son since that Christmas in 1994.

Our divorce was messy but got finalized. The state I live in, then as now, was about the most corrupt in the country and had a policy that all child support had to go through the Child Support Recovery Division. They insisted that this was to protect both parents. In reality I think it was more about the 15% commission they claimed from every payment.

Oh, and one more note. Between separating and divorcing, I paid child support every single week. It took a little over a year for things to get finalized. Anyway, when it came time to tally things up, I offered the judge all of my signed receipts for what I had paid, so that the court could credit me. My ex immediately piped up and said that I'd never given her a penny and that I must have forged whatever I had in my possession. That was that. The judge instantly disallowed my prior payments - so I started off the entire thing already over a year in arrears even though I'd paid, each week, in excess of the final weekly amount the court ordered ( On my own I was paying $100.00 per week. The court ended up demanding I pay $90.00 per week. )

Very long and drawn out further story short? I continued to pay child support, religiously, for years after the divorce - and going to court, over and over again, trying to get my visitation enforced. The court never outright refused to enforce my visitation - they just always found a way to fail doing so.

I tried to have my ex arrested for contempt several times. No judge would do it. Every motion for this was denied.

At one point I called Child Support Recovery and simply threatened to not pay any more unless they upheld my visitation - or at least told me my ex's address or phone number ( she no longer lived where she had been living and I had no new address or contact info for my son, at all ) and the result? A SWAT team kicked my door in 2 days later and arrested me for felony abandonment of a minor child. Charges that were dropped about as soon as I made bail. But the message was clear.

A few more years passed and I finally got fed up. I contacted every fathers rights organization I could locate. I also contacted not just my elected officials - but every member of the House and the Senate - as well as the Vice President and President.

Funny thing. That worked. Within a few days I got a call from CSR saying that I needed to come in and sign papers to stop paying. I went the next day and signed, half understanding what it was I was doing. But not totally.

Later on it was verified. I'd signed away my rights as a parent.

Later still I discovered that my ex had managed to get her new husband to adopt my son when he was still an infant - right after we split. I'd paid support all that time for a child that I couldn't see, who had another mans last name, and who did not even know I existed.

Now he is 22 and aware I exist. He hates me. He thinks I abandoned him.

My point? Even after all that? Any man who doesn't pay for their kid, IMO, is not worth the air he breathes. He is a cad and coward. Plain and simple. I paid because it was the right thing to do. My pain or my ex's BS had nothing to do with my sons well being and need for support. He was the only thing in the equation that mattered.

~Heff

reply to post by Hefficide


Heff, I do not know how to applaud your post so I gave you a star.

You said this:

Now he is 22 and aware I exist. He hates me. He thinks I abandoned him.

My point? Even after all that? Any man who doesn't pay for their kid, IMO, is not worth the air he breathes. He is a cad and coward. Plain and simple. I paid because it was the right thing to do. My pain or my ex's BS had nothing to do with my sons well being and need for support. He was the only thing in the equation that mattered.

~Heff

I agree completely, but in my case, guess what? The DNA proves beyond any doubt that the child is not my biological child.

My motions in court are not about severing the relationship with this now adult child. Nor to remove last names or anything like that.

My motions are simply to adjust the overcharges and come up with a REASONABLE pay-off amount.

Simple.

Does that make me the scum of the earth?

Originally posted by greenovni
Bottom line is this.

I am trying to do the honorable thing here. As much as I hate that a non biological 'father' can be on the hook legally for child support because he became the 'legal' dad by either default, fraud, birth certificate signing etc.

I know that this girl can really use the money as she now has her own family and goes to school.

All I want the court to do is the right thing.

That is to adjust the $100 weekly overcharge that they placed by 'mistake' for a few years here in my State. (My State did that, not CT).

Once this is adjusted, I want the court and I to come up with a reasonable pay-off amount so I can cut a check.

That simple.

[UPDATE] I called the State of CT support enforcement office and they said that the child support case if CLOSED because the child has reached an age of majority. I was asked for my mailing address because they sent a letter to the address that they had on file to inform me of this and the letter was returned to them as they had the wrong address.

edit on 31-1-2013 by greenovni because: New information

So let me get this straight.. the kid is 18 now? and you're still paying for him? And why did you cal the child support office, and not the court directly you're talking about two different things, this gets even weirder every time you add more to it..

So to summarize your plight as I understand it.

1) at age 17 you had a one nighter with I assume a really hot 26 year old, and she ended up pregnant sometime later and claimed you were daddy.

2) Your mother freaks out and forces you to sign the paternity paperwork

3) you at some point miss some paperwork or something and get defaulted and never deal with that by filing a motion to re- adjudicate the default and set it aside.

4) years later you move to another state that continues Connecticut's ruling and makes you pay.

5) the child is now 18 and you're just now trying to deal with this?

Once you move out of state the Child Support Office in CT would no longer have anything to do with your plight. The courts however would. The fact again that you didn't call the court raises a concern that there's something amiss in your narrative.

Two things jump out at me, a) At 17 there's no way they would have socked you even 18 years ago, sorry doesn't work that way in this state, no matter what you say and keep trying to make everyone believe. She was an adult you were not, end of discussion, that means that court at any time could re-open the case.. Again that's the COURT and you have to file a motion to do that, not just simply call the Child Support office at DSS which is not the agency you need. and b) if he's over 18 how the hell are you still paying support? Obviously this whole thing would be over with by now by him reaching 18, and that would be that, in this case you're asking us to add 2+2 and get 22.

I've talked to the judges at length today in the Hartford family courts (And just to keep you from saying "But it's Waterbury" they are all the same in this state.) and all of them agree there's something being left out of this narrative, as it stands, people would have gone to jail and this would have been dealt with long ago if true.

Something's off.. can't put my finger on it, but something is off..

So let me get this straight.. the kid is 18 now? and you're still paying for him? And why did you cal the child support office, and not the court directly you're talking about two different things, this gets even weirder every time you add more to it..

It is called Arrears - Money owed. Child support office handles child support no?

So to summarize your plight as I understand it.

1) at age 17 you had a one nighter with I assume a really hot 26 year old, and she ended up pregnant sometime later and claimed you were daddy.

Yes

2) Your mother freaks out and forces you to sign the paternity paperwork

No. She forced me to sign a delayed birth certificate AFTER I was already defaulted as the dad

3) you at some point miss some paperwork or something and get defaulted and never deal with that by filing a motion to re- adjudicate the default and set it aside.

Yup! Never dealt with that, what the hell did I know about law back then? I started learning about the laws for my State in 2006

4) years later you move to another state that continues Connecticut's ruling and makes you pay.
Yes

5) the child is now 18 and you're just now trying to deal with this?
Child turned 18. I am not just trying to deal with this. Once again, all I am trying to deal with at this point is to get a PAYOFF AMOUNT. Period. Nothing more, nothing less

Once you move out of state the Child Support Office in CT would no longer have anything to do with your plight. The courts however would. The fact again that you didn't call the court raises a concern that there's something amiss in your narrative.

Easy, I put in Google "CT Child support" and got the CT child support processing center so I called. Why would anything be amiss if I called the number google supplied?

Two things jump out at me, a) At 17 there's no way they would have socked you even 18 years ago, sorry doesn't work that way in this state, no matter what you say and keep trying to make everyone believe. She was an adult you were not, end of discussion, that means that court at any time could re-open the case.. Again that's the COURT and you have to file a motion to do that.

I agree that I would have to file the motions to have anything to do in my case. I am quite far from CT at this time and will do what needs to be done when I can.

She was an adult, I was not. Yet, it happened.

not just simply call the Child Support office at DSS which is not the agency you need. and b) if he's over 18 how the hell are you still paying support?

Arrears are still handled by the child support enforcement apparatus and you know this.

Obviously this whole thing would be over with by now by him reaching 18, and that would be that, in this case you're asking us to add 2+2 and get 22.

I wish it was over. It will be when the courts and I come to an agreement about a payoff amount. PLUS! It is a SHE not a he.

I've talked to the judges at length today in the Hartford family courts (And just to keep you from saying "But it's Waterbury" they are all the same in this state.)

I know they are all the same.


and all of them agree there's something being left out of this narrative, as it stands, people would have gone to jail and this would have been dealt with long ago if true.

I agree that she would have gone to jail, if there was ever a criminal complaint introduced to the court. There never was. Not by me, not by my parents nor by anyone in civil court.

Something's off.. can't put my finger on it, but something is off..

Yes, what is off is what I have been saying over and over and over and over that you just proved quite clearly.

NO ONE GIVES A DAMN THAT WHAT THE DNA RESULTS ARE.

Ask your judges tomorrow or today if you have a chance the following questions:

If they had a case where a father was duped and they had DNA proof years later, would they

1. Stop child support payments and collections
2. Wipe away any arrears
3. Allow the duped father to SUE the mother for fraud
4. Allow the duped father to then collect all of his back child support that was collected on behalf of a fraudster.

You want something to be amiss so bad I can feel it here. Yet, you refuse to answer the only question that is important in my case:

Am I RESPONSIBLE for a child that is NOT biologically mine?

reply to post by vkey08

Originally posted by vkey08Something's off.. can't put my finger on it, but something is off..

So you are calling the poster a liar?
There is a pattern here.

Been doing that for many postings if you read the whole thread. No biggie, she is a law enforcement officer that can't understand that there are people are being defrauded with the help of the courts.

I have put many resources, links videos etc to just be attacked personally and not have comments about the resources, links or videos that deal with paternity fraud. To her they are irrelevant.

I've met many people like her in my journey for justice that hang their whole arguments with the saying "But... It's legal!" which does not make it LAWFUL.

I'll just continue fighting my fight my way whether she thinks there is something off or not.

PS. Might also be the Law Enforcement in her, wanting to put the lady I had the one night stand with in jail and pad the quota.

Which I'm sure does not exist or is irrelevant