I may have no other choice...

Originally posted by forall2see
reply to post by PacificBlue

 

I have always hoped that one day a light bulb would go off in her head and she would realize that I am there for her and not against her. It truly feels as if she is constantly feeling that what I do and or say is some type of insult towards her. I have been questioned over the silliest things. When I have attempted to make light of a situation it almost always seems to backfire.

All of my experience in the relationship has left me feeling less and less confident of us ever working towards any type of mutual compromise or resolve.

Really feels crappy when you finally feel comfortable giving your all to someone and feel nothing in return. Not saying there haven't been some of those times, but very few and far between to say the least. And even those seem to be brought up later on and made into something completely negative.

For me personally, I have always chosen to see the positive aspects of things, even negative things once I have the time to process them. I have even justified this relationship by telling myself that I could better myself in humility and navigate conflict more successfully. That's not the actual case though. Being someone else's supply of justification is not ok.

In the grand scheme of things, I have felt ashamed for allowing myself to stay in this situation as long as I have. I have set clear boundaries, only to give in to feelings of loneliness coupled with her manipulative sense of being. That is not ok either, as I am truly a man who only wants contentment in his relationship.... I dont feel that fat and happy with her... Instead I feel like im on a crumbling bridge, struggling to either fix it, or get the heck off, lol!

You know what to do. Your in an emotionally abusive relationship and the only person you can change is you. No amount of wishing or hoping can change her if she doesn't want to change. One problem though, is that most female psychopaths are improperly labeled as being bi-polar because of the gynocentrism of the medical field.

www.aftermath-surviving-psychopathy.org...


I had a bi-polar friend growing up and knew of a few people with that illness, yeah they have their mood swings, but those mood swings go both ways. When they are up, they are a sight to see, but when they are down....

The fact that it is only going one way shows she isn't bi-polar

I direct you to these outlets for more consideration:

www.aftermath-surviving-psychopathy.org...
www.cassiopaea.com...
www.thehiddenevil.com...

I honestly wish I could hear it explained from her POV. But given that she is not here...
It seems to me you have come to the logical conclusion that this relationship can only get worse and that it's coming to a dead end. It sounds as if you have already made up your mind and no longer wish to continue the relationship.

If you're going to break up, make sure you do it face to face. Sending a break up text is, in my opinion, one of the most cowardly ways to end a relationship. Yes, she will probably yell. Say some nasty, awful things. Throw a tantrum, etc. I don't have a good reason to back up the face-to-face deal, other than it just feels better later down the road.

From my experience, the snapping at you, etc. might possibly come from your tone of voice. I know I have done that before to my fiance a few times in the past during that time of month. If he says something to me that comes out in a condescending tone, I might snap at him. It was probably unintentional because afterwards he acts confused. I try to keep these things in check, but sometimes it happens so fast that I don't even realize what has happened until it has already happened. Usually I feel pretty crappy about it afterwards. (I'm making progress with controlling it.)

Anyways. Any advice you come across the net take sparingly. These people are not in your shoes. They don't know your gf. Follow your gut feeling if you can. And think this carefully through. Chances are, she doesn't even realize how bad her behavior has become and the ONLY way for her to change is if she acknowledges it comes to terms with it. Otherwise, her behavior will continue and will progressively become worse. If you want this relationship to work, it's paramount that you make her see what is going on and make your feelings known about it.