Being pregnant when your boss is male!

So I'm really upset right now. I have had the same job since March, dog bather/groomer. Now I feel like I'm being pushed out of my job because I'm pregnant without it being mentioned directly. You ever just feel something without it being mentioned? That is how I feel.

I was told not to lift or be around cleaning products per my doctor and well now it seems my boss has a problem with that and has thrown it in my face. I have since been pushed out of my position as bather and been told i have to "groom" now and well that is money out of my pocket i really need. I am not 100% trained on grooming so I can't do all that much which means I won't get that much work and even less money. I was making about $100 a week + tips for bathing for 30hrs and I don't get an hourly rate so if there are no dogs I still have to sit there. If the other girl can't be there I still have to be there which does suck because I don't make money whereas if I'm not there she can still do her job and make her money.

Anyway.....today my friend had a family emergency and had to go out of town so I was there with the new girl who took my position and is very open that she DOESNT NEED the job, where I do and the income. So it's a slap in the face to me to have to train a new person to take my position that I actually enjoyed. Yet everyone wants to tell me how I should act and how I won't like it when I'm bigger. Um I'm pregnant NOT incompetent! I can't lift big dogs and so far that hasn't been a problem. My friend would help me get them in the tub and that takes all of 5 secs max 10! So back to today. We had two dogs I could do that i usually groom because they dont require any hair off they are chiuaua's, easy groom. The new girl bathed them and we were done at 9:30am. I knew the food order was coming today so I had to be there for that but other than that there was nothing else I could do unless a dog walked in which never happens esp a dog I can do. It's always ones that require a full groom, ones i dont do. So the other girl was getting restless and I know how it is to sit there all day for no reason esp when you know nothing is coming in the door! I told her she could go home around 11ish and I'd stay, something my friend has done with me MANY times under similar circumstances when we were dead and had nothing coming in. I didn't see the big deal since I was doing something she had done many times before. I had my book to read til closing. I had spoken to the one owner already and told him she was gone and asked if I could close early cause there were no more appointments. He said I could leave at 2pm which is 30mins early and I said fine. Keep in mind we have closed in the past early for similar reasons and my friend didnt call to tell them were closing, example is this past Saturday. She had an appt for her wedding and there was a parade down our street so we left at 12:15, no biggie.

Well the other owner called asking where this girl was and snapped my damn head off for letting her go home. There is a right way to talk to someone and there is a wrong way and he chose the RUDE condescending way, which I will not take from anyone. I am not paid nearly enough to be talked to like that. I told him I didn't see the problem for one because my friend had done the SAME thing with me. IF it had been a big deal I would not have told her it was ok to leave. He was like she IS the bather what would you do if someone walked in. I told him I'd bathe the dog IF that had happened since it was my job just last week! It's amazing how my friend has done this with me many times yet I do the same thing and get scolded like a damn child. All he had to say was well next time just give us a call but noooo he was rude as can be! it's like they kiss my friends butt but feel the need to go diva attitude on me, well I dont think so, you do not pay me enough to be verbally assaulted. I'm pregnant and DO NOT need the stress!

I have felt like since i found out i was pregnant that they have tried to push me out of the door without saying it. They brought in another person without even telling me and expected me to train this person, someone who made it clear they don't need the job but is doing it to get out of the house. I NEED the money even if it's not a lot. I like the job and working with my friend. She was going to train me again starting this week as she could with dogs that I could learn on (ones that sit still lol) so I can learn full grooming again.

I was learning a few months ago but when I became pregnant I got really sick with morning sickness and was miserable for about 2mths so she stopped training me on it and i just did baths or mini grooms. I would wake up all hours of the night and sleep on my floor to be close to the bathroom so if i got sick I was right there. I would have to keep the apt dark so I could sleep or stay still so I wouldn't get sick. I was so weak and miserable not to mention very moody, completely not myself. I'm still not 100% myself but the morning sickness is gone, I"m just tired and need to eat more than I use to at work. I use to be able to go all day and eat when i got home but now I HAVE to sit down between 11-12 to eat or I start to feel sick and weak.

My friend upset me the other day making comments about how I just "left" her when I was sick and it wasn't like that. She said she comes to work no matter what with cramps and all and well I'm REALLY tired of people comparing pregnancy to cramps or a damn cold! It's NOT the same! You can pop a pill or take meds to get rid of those but when you are pregnant you can't take anything! The fact that she even said that bothered me. You can say all you want how you will not let being pregnant stop you from doing work but UNTIL you ARE pregnant you have NO DAMN IDEA! I thought the same thing but let me tell you it has put me on my rear and well for me it has been hard. I'm use to having more energy than anyone i know and being ready to go go go but right now it's not like that. I'm tired all day long and weak. It is just really upsetting that people can think like that and tell me how i should be acting or feeling! My doctor told me NOT to lift anything over 10 lbs and I will lift some dogs that weigh a little more even though I'm not suppose to and I'm to stay away from cleaning product fumes. Apparently the owner thinks I should be just fine since according to him he has worked with pregnant women for 20+yrs who lifted mattresses or this and that. Well listen here man with no ovaries not all pregnancies are the SAME!! Some of us CANT do what others can do! I also won't touch aggressive dogs right now, we get about 3 that are REALLY bad and I've been bit badly by two of them. First of all my friend is the one willing to take these dogs in the shop, I am not so while I'm pregnant I will not put myself in that kind of danger so to speak. I don't need to get bit and get an infection esp since I'm pregnant. If we had proper muzzles then I just might work with them but we don't, they can still bite thru the muzzles. I have expressed my dislike for them time and time again, you'd think they'd order new ones!

So I'm just really upset right now and I dont want to go back there if I'm going to be treated like this after being there for almost a year. I'm sorry my pregnancy is an inconvenience to you but it's important to me and my baby comes first.

So you made the choice to get pregnant. Why should your employer have to pay for your mistakes. should they have to still give you a pay check when you are obviously unable to do the work? Should he have to pay to support you? Its not that I dont understand bc I do but there are consequences to your actions. You are there to make your boss money not for them to take care of you. Just bc you are pregnant doesnt mean the world needs to bend over for you and take care of you. Get a job that you can do in your condition and stop whining about not getting handouts. Pregnant women are terrible company as well. There is a lot of whining a huge amount of bathroom breaks and the gas is awful.

reply to post by mblahnikluver


No matter what they say and ignore previous poster, keep your chin up. Your Boss is propably trying to make you quit as if they do without real reason ( pregnancy is not a reason ) its illegal and you can sue them then.

Wind does not break a tree than bends.. don´t give up !

reply to post by mblahnikluver


Hang in the Mblah! Babyblah will be out before you know it and with the unavoidable lack of sleep you won't even remember any of this

Have you considered looking for another job? Just asking because you sound so unhappy.

Best of luck to you.

You can buy a mask to filter the fumes. Or maybe invest in green products.

Alright ladies, please don't crucify me

OP, I know your venting but you brought your story here so I believe you know what you were in for by posting this.

You make $100 a week plus tips. I know that must be hard to live on. Believe me,I do. What made you think that bringing a child into that situation was a good idea. You undoubtedly struggle with food for yourself, how are you planning to pay for a second mouth? I sincerely hope that you weren't expecting more money from your dog grooming job.

I hope venting here helped your mood a bit. It does a sound like you should change jobs. Your boss is crap if your version of the story is true.

Don't quit until you have something else locked. No rash decisions, your making them for two now

Good luck, sincerely

reply to post by Mrgone


You said what I was thinking.

reply to post by Mrgone


You made assumption she is raising child alone ?

We shouldn´t judge anyone by the few lines written here at ATS, cos we don´t really know anything about her or her hubbys or anything what comes to her family and finacial issues.

Good Luck with your upcoming "bundle of Joy"......as wonderful as it all can be, lol, this is just starting... having to make decisions between your child and your career is a VERY difficult challenge for all concerned......it sucks !

I do agree with others that say try and seek employment more compatable to being a Mommy too....your employer doesn't sound like he's going to be cool with all the demands a new baby needs, and if you decide to nurse your baby, it's important to have some flexability in your schedule....trust me on this, it will tear your soul out to have to choose between your baby and your job.

Maybe start your own little business? Dog sitting, house call grooming....? Take Care....eat healthy and try not to stress out....your going to be a good Mommy.......

Originally posted by dollukka
reply to post by Mrgone

 

You made assumption she is raising child alone ?

We shouldn´t judge anyone by the few lines written here at ATS, cos we don´t really know anything about her or her hubbys or anything what comes to her family and finacial issues.

edit on 13-12-2012 by dollukka because: (no reason given)

Like I said, she brought it

And in her own words she really needs the job. Doesn't sound like her man is all that financially present

How about it OP? Care to elaborate on your plans?


PS. I'm off to the store so I'll be back later to catch up on the conversation. OP, don't be shy.

reply to post by Mrgone


As i said you don´t still know anything about her financial situation, she might think she needs that job but you don´t know anything why she needs it. She might just want to contribute.

Im not familiar of tipping part as its not custom in my country but many jobs in US has lousy pay but tipping policy makes them still wanted.

The author of this thread made choices which lead to consequences not entirely unexpected. Author wants special treatment for a common condition. Employer does not have to accommodate.

Author has the option to find other work.

Employer's point of view:

Employee is pregnant and, therefore, cannot be around the chemicals used in cleaning the dogs. Easy route, switch the employee to a position she can fill during her pregnancy.


You sound like you want to be paid for the cleaning and not clean as a result of the chemicals. While that would, of course, be ideal, the reality is, your employer is providing you with a paying gig and finding a way to have you earn your keep. As an employer, I would do the same thing. I wouldn't pay someone to sit around and do nothing.

The fact that your employer is a guy has nothing to do with it. He's a business owner, he needs to have employees that do the work he's hired them for. You cannot do it so he's finding you an alternative.

I would be surprised to learn that this was a fully on the books gig and, if not, be happy he doesn't cut you loose which he could easily do if the gig is "freelance" or outside the realm of payroll.

Originally posted by lobotomizemecapin
So you made the choice to get pregnant.

I didn't choose to get pregnant. As far as I was concerned and told I couldn't have kids so when I found out I was I wasn't 100% excited like most people would be. It was something i had to process after thinking I'd have to adopt if I wanted kids or just never have kids.

Why should your employer have to pay for your mistakes.

You must be a male.....wow. Pay for my mistakes? I work to make THEM money.

should they have to still give you a pay check when you are obviously unable to do the work? Should he have to pay to support you?

Actually there are laws against discriminating against pregnant women. I have doctors notice I am unable to do certain things and it really doesn't hinder their business in any way. You obviously know nothing about a grooming shop. Even if I worked in any one of my previous jobs I'd still not be able to lift or be around cleaning products. Some women have very different pregnancies and with thinking I couldn't have kids I want to be extra cautious not to lose the baby or have any complications.

I worked with pregnant women before and EVERY OTHER employer was very understanding but it seems if you have a penis it's ok to just talk out your rear about something you know nothing of and will never ever experience.

Its not that I dont understand bc I do but there are consequences to your actions. You are there to make your boss money not for them to take care of you.

Consequences to my actions? I didn't rob a damn bank I'm pregnant.
Where did I ever ask anyone to take care of me? I can take care of myself. What he has said to me is straight up wrong and discriminatory. EVERY single person I've talked to today has agreed he shouldn't have said what he did. I am not incompetent just pregnant and not being able to lift a few dogs or inhale cleaning supplies has NOTHING to do with making them money.

So Just bc you are pregnant doesnt mean the world needs to bend over for you and take care of you.

Again where did I ask anyone to take care of me? I'm actually a very independent person and not having my full energy right now is very bothersome. So don't jude me when you don't know me and I venture to guess you don't even have the means to have a baby so you have NO IDEA how it feels or what it does to your body. People have kids every day but not every pregnancy is the same!

Get a job that you can do in your condition and stop whining about not getting handouts.

Again WHERE did I ask for handouts!!! You [snip]have no idea what you are talking about. It's call being a damn human being and having SOME compassion! Anytime I worked with someone who was pregnant I made sure they didn't do ANYTHING they weren't suppose to. It had nothing to do with handouts. It's called decency. I'm also not someone who expects anything and if you knew me you'd know that.

Pregnant women are terrible company as well. There is a lot of whining a huge amount of bathroom breaks and the gas is awful.

edit on 13-12-2012 by lobotomizemecapin because: (no reason given)

[snip]. You think I like being pregnant and having to pee every 20mins or have bodily functions out of whack?!?!?! You think I enjoyed hugging a toilet for two months and unable to eat anything?! You don't have the balls to understand how it feels to be pregnant or what it does to your body. You are just like my boss, runs his mouth about something he can never experience and groups all pregnant women into the same category. Well newsflash every pregnancy is different!

Originally posted by dollukka
reply to post by mblahnikluver

 

No matter what they say and ignore previous poster, keep your chin up. Your Boss is propably trying to make you quit as if they do without real reason ( pregnancy is not a reason ) its illegal and you can sue them then.

Wind does not break a tree than bends.. don´t give up !

Awe thank you

Yea I have felt like that is what they are doing since I found out I was pregnant.

I don't give up and I sure as heck don't let people run me off or walk over me. I will not let him make me feel bad because I am pregnant.

reply to post by mblahnikluver

Mblah,

When I was in my early twenties I was a groomer and I can relate to every single thing you just said!! I went through my first pregnancy while I was grooming. Wait until you come back afterwards and they expect you to be 100% right off the bat. It took me months to recover after my first baby. Not to mention taking breaks to pump milk - I got lots of eye rolling on that one, too.

I know you are upset about having to train another bather, but the good thing is, at least your shop believed you when you said you can't lift any more, and didn't ask you to carry on as usual. At my shop, my friend who taught me how to groom was like an amazon, she was tall and strong, and she had done everything she normally did while she was pregnant, plus the owner didn't have any children, so she had that attitude like you mentioned, that it's like having a minor illness, just inconvenient, nothing more. I luckily didn't have any problems with my first pregnancy, but the next is another story.

After I had my first son, I got pregnant again. The way I found out I was pregnant the second time is that I was lifting a large dog into the tub (I worked for a small shop where the groomers bathed their own dogs) and I started bleeding, and it wasn't my period. The bleeding stopped right away, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive, so I thought it must have been implantation bleeding. I told myself everything must be ok, since the bleeding had stopped.

I made an appt to see an Obgyn, but they couldn't get me in for my first visit for a few weeks. Before the date of my appt, I miscarried the baby. I think now that when I lifted the big dog, it damaged something and that is why I miscarried a few days later.

I would stay away from the flea dip, too. I always thought it was probably terribly unhealthy to breathe that stuff, even when you aren't pregnant.

I'm sorry to hear how how you are being treated, it seems to be par for the course at some of these places. My friend and I started a grooming association thinking maybe we could work together with other groomers to try to get better treatment from shops, but it didn't go anywhere. I eventually went back to school and got out of grooming.

Take good care of yourself!
Gwynn

Originally posted by smyleegrl
Have you considered looking for another job? Just asking because you sound so unhappy.

Best of luck to you.

If it was that easy here I would have had another job months ago. The job market here is very very bad. I was out of work for about 3 mths when I got this job. The job I have now I got because my friend works there and got me the job since their old groomer was leaving so they needed someone for the bather position. I started in March and she trained me to do "mini" grooms and I am suppose to pick up on learning full grooms again hopefully this week or next. I have been looking for work since I started here and have applied anywhere I qualify. I've gotten a couple interviews but nothing. When you are applying for a position that 100 other people are applying for it gets hard to get that job. I have had tons of retail experience and management experience in retail and have had no luck at our mall or any other I've applied at. Here it is all about who you know not what you know to get a job. It's really crappy but with jobs being so minimal here people are hiring friends over people who qualify. I lost one good job that way and was very upset. The lady who even got me the interview because she knew my experience quit shortly after because of managements hiring practices.

I like the job but I do not like how i was spoken to today and it showed me his true colors and that he doesn't know how to talk professionally to another person. It really doesn't surprise me to be honest. In this area people aren't exactly pleasant when it comes to being professional or having a professional tone. It was the way he spoke to me that was wrong and what he said that was inappropriate. I have worked in management and i never would have spoken to an employee that way, ever. No matter what. There is a right way to approach someone and a wrong way. I don't care if it's a little shop you still have to be respectful.

After I stop working I'm going to stick to my Etsy store and work on my cookbook. I will probably move back to where I grew up which is about an hour away. There are more jobs in that area than where I am. I just can't move right now while pregnant but in the next year is becoming a much bigger possibility and with the job market here being so bad I need a change. I also would feel more comfortable having my child in that area than here. My family is there and the child care and schooling there is much better than here. I moved here for work yrs ago and didn't plan on staying here but I didnt' plan on the economy taking a dive like it did. It hit this area really bad.

Most of the commenters clearly don't know anything about grooming. There are things that good shops can do that help protect their employees health and safety, regardless of whether they are pregnant of not. They can use safe products and ventilate the bathing area well. They can have ramps to walk large dogs into the tub and up to the grooming tables. They can keep enough people on staff so that you can assist each other.

It is any employer's responsibility to provide a safe work environment.

I posted earlier in this thread then walked away, but it is still bothering me. What does the fact that your boss is a male have to do with anything? It doesn't. You shouldn't have specifically mentioned it. It makes you look sexist.

Are you?