What happens when you turn 30 and realise you're not living the life you'd expected?

Generation Y is turning 30!

Here's an interesting article on how many of them are unhappy with their lives.

Edwards was suffering from what some psychologists have dubbed the quarter-life crisis. That's right. Forget the mid-life crisis that traditionally happens about the age of 45. These days Gen Y are having a crisis a good 15 years earlier, as they grapple with the feeling that their lives haven't turned out quite as they envisaged. Or that the life they thought they wanted isn't so appealing after all.

For women, in particular, there's also an expectation that by 30 they should have nixed the career/marriage/kids trifecta. And if they haven't, some start to get anxious because things haven't gone to plan.

Melbourne counsellor and psychotherapist Paul Cullen first noticed the phenomenon when he realised that about 70 per cent of his clients were aged from 28 to 32 and "a remarkable number were weeks either side of their 30th birthday".

"They come to me and say I'm not sure why I'm here, but I'm just unhappy," Cullen says.

Source:
www.theaustralian.com.au...

In a way, I think this falls under the category of "first-world problems." A lot of spoiled brats whining that they can't live the life that sitcoms taught them was their birthright. So many grew up with high expectations...but who put the expectations there? Their boomer parents, who taught the special little snowflakes that "you can achieve anything you want if you just put your mind to it." Meanwhile at exactly the same time, the rug was being pulled out from under the future by the very same boomers who offshored, outsourced, and voted themselves fat pensions and deficit budgets at the expense of future generations.

Part of it also has to be the dissatisfaction with the soul-mauling routines and ethical shallowness of modern corporate life.

Thoughts?

30 is a good time to start over.

I will let Tyler Durden speak for me and I agree with him.

"I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy # we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

The sooner young people realize this the better.
Heck Iam 38 and am I living the life I expected? No way....but then again who is?

"What happens when you turn 30 and realise you're not living the life you'd expected?"

I can tell you now that at 30, I had no idea just how much life was open to me. I thought it was the end because my life wasn't how I'd imagined 30 would be when I was 20.

Now at 50, I wish I was 30 and facing that same issue.

So much to do, so little time.

Peace

In answer to your Query -
Wait another 30 years.
You will then turn 60 and realize that you are not living the life you had expected.

I'm in a similar position. I tried to make a change to be an actual human being, or at least a close enough approximation. It didn't work out.

I think I will keep trying, But I am who I am. It works for me, but I thought I could be more.

reply to post by TheXoor


Dear TheXoor,

Sorry, but I disagree with much of what you said. The "boomers" didn't ruin this world or steal all the money, they bought into the system when they turned 30 and this is the same system that is now taking their retirements. The generation that followed them, my generation, had it the worst (and it doesn't apply to me). The boomers outnumbered all the other generations and people who were younger could not get ahead because the boomers had 10 or 15 more years experience. Some of us managed to overcome that; but, most of the people my age never did. I don't blame the boomers for outnumbering us, it is just what it was.

Now, in defense of the boomers, these are the same people that helped get civil rights for blacks. They forced changes that were needed in many areas and began the environmental movement. The establishment shuttered because the boomers worked together and refused to just do what they were told. I don't believe Rockefeller is a boomer or most of the people running the world, the people who benefited the most.

It does suck when you realize that your dreams have eluded you. I'll tell you that the natural progression of life happened to me. I met the girl of my dreams, built a house and got married. My career was doing great, had kids, slowed down a bit.We coasted a bit raised the kids, and then my career bottomed out. Now I'm in my 40's no career, home mostly paid off, we cut back to afford kids a life they are used to. As a couple we don't communicate as much, we are focused on daily life and getting the kids to where they need to be. We grow apart, quietly knowing that it's the kids that are holding us together wondering what the next decade holds for us. Looking back you have to wonder if the missed career chances would have helped at all.

This thread is depressing...

And I'm not even 30 (yet).

Originally posted by boymonkey74
I will let Tyler Durden speak for me and I agree with him.

"I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy # we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

The sooner young people realize this the better.
Heck Iam 38 and am I living the life I expected? No way....but then again who is?

edit on 27-10-2012 by boymonkey74 because: (no reason given)

Id agree with that...Who would ever think a character from a Hollywood movie would spit some truth hahaha.
Especially one played by probably the very most archetypal materialistic idol for this generation. How ironic.

first thing is to stop having expectations and to stop living some future scenario and actually start living the life you have. the second would be to realize that if one does not feel fulfilled by their current life than one should start making steps to change it. expectation is the life killer, if you cant be happy where you are at this point right now, you most likely never will. this is the problem with society today. the quest for the perfect life. there is no such thing.

Originally posted by shadow watcher
It does suck when you realize that your dreams have eluded you. I'll tell you that the natural progression of life happened to me. I met the girl of my dreams, built a house and got married. My career was doing great, had kids, slowed down a bit.We coasted a bit raised the kids, and then my career bottomed out. Now I'm in my 40's no career, home mostly paid off, we cut back to afford kids a life they are used to. As a couple we don't communicate as much, we are focused on daily life and getting the kids to where they need to be. We grow apart, quietly knowing that it's the kids that are holding us together wondering what the next decade holds for us. Looking back you have to wonder if the missed career chances would have helped at all.

As someone who has never held a long term stable relationship...and never tried for one either..for two reasons 1. I really think women are basically unstable people..(after a dozen or so relationships..I give up) .2. I don't believe the world is a fit place to bring children into..at least not now it isnt...I always wonder do most people just happen to stumble into this wife and kids stuff...or is it a main goal that guys push hard for?
because everyone makes it sound like it happens to you...like by accident...well if that's so, how come most everyone marries..for the first time anyhow...in their mid to late 20's?

me..I don't believe in plans anyhow..or sticking to some imaginary clock..ticking off...career... wife..house..kids..divorce...wife number 2 etc...
Plans always go astray in my experience...as fate has a habit of throwing a spanner in the works...So I don't understand people who insist on trying to live by some rigid structure...and anyhow as I said life seems to not allow people to stay to any structure...no matter how hard you try.

reply to post by TheXoor


Well for one 30 is the new mid life if I make it to 60 I would be impressed amazed to see 70. However depending on where one lives there is a big factor and source of income plays a major role as to how old one lives. Sadly for us 30 year olds Whats going around in the world with places like greece , egypt , and occupy wall st we know we are getting screwed. Unless something happenes none of us will never get a real chance to see change as most 30 year old people I know are not millionaires and cannot afford to run for office . it will always usually be the same people who have rich parents and think they are entitled or crooks or even both .

Originally posted by DENBY
In answer to your Query -
Wait another 30 years.
You will then turn 60 and realize that you are not living the life you had expected.

You jest, but I think you're right on the money. At some point we have to come the conclusion that the question of "What are we supposed to be doing?" is an irrelevant question. We're not supposed to be or do anything in this life. We have to just get through it while putting away a few bucks for a rainy day, and just try to enjoy the here and now. Not being able to enjoy the here and now is the only personal failure I can think of.

Originally posted by boymonkey74
I will let Tyler Durden speak for me and I agree with him.

"I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy # we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

The sooner young people realize this the better.
Heck Iam 38 and am I living the life I expected? No way....but then again who is?

edit on 27-10-2012 by boymonkey74 because: (no reason given)

beautiful rant lol if i could give you 2 stars i would

I think it maybe cause we are paying into programs that will not benefit us like retirement and SS is broke we know it so there is nothing to look forward to except to work till you die. Well that aint happening!

I'm in the process of writing my state Governor and letting him know that I'm reverting to the law of the land not the law of man, and give him appropriate time to respond, if he doesn't respond than I'll take his silence as confirmation that he approved my request.

I encourage all to do this, Let them know we the people are taking our power back one letter at a time

Originally posted by watchitburn
I'm in a similar position. I tried to make a change to be an actual human being, or at least a close enough approximation. It didn't work out.

I think I will keep trying, But I am who I am. It works for me, but I thought I could be more.

I have a tern for that...I call it being happily bitter.

Emphasis on the happy part. Humor on the bitter part.

No one leaves this world alive.

reply to post by TheXoor


Welcome to my world! To much TV is polluting the brains of the younger generation...though not all.

I know plenty of 20-30 somethings that have their wits about them. And they will use and abuse those of their generation that don't.

Just like every generation before.

reply to post by jiggerj


Yes.
From the moment of conception we are all on borrowed time.
The only absolute in Life is Death.

What happens when you turn 30 and realize you're not living the life you'd expected? Get used to it.