I'm confused and need opinions.

reply to post by new_here


Thank you for this.

Both of those seem very plausible.

I would like to say that I never presented myself to her that I had put myself on a pedestal. I'm not that kind of person. I am honest and upfront about my emotions and when I really care for someone, they know it. My lack of attraction to her was one of the key reasons we split up but it definitely wasn't the only reason. She knew the reason for my lack of contact with her. Do you think she did not ask? She denied seeing someone, many times. I picked this name on ATS in irony, I suppose. I have a very keen sense of intuition and have learned to rely on it heavily out of its accuracy throughout my lifetime.

Anyhow, the first reason is plausible but I'll give your 2) more weight as I've pretty much tossed out the option of 1) as of today.

Thank you for your opinions on my questions, I do appreciate it. I did write her an e-mail, not asking for explanations but more-so for closure. She knows I'm straight forward and she really does know how much I care for her. 7 years is a long time to get to know someone. If she wanted to work things out with me, all she would have to do is say it. I've made it clear to her what my interests are, in regards to working things out. Probably one too many times. I'm not going to beat a dead horse and bring it up a fifth or sixth time.

Thank you again

reply to post by AQuestion


AQuestion,

I believe we all have more than one soul mate. I believe we have many soul mates. She perhaps may have been one of them. Only time will tell where my life will lead me and who it will lead me to. At this point in my life, I'm ready to enjoy the adventure. Thank you for your blessings

Pregnant? Maybe she was trying to tell you that? (And dont say "No. I KNOW she wouldnt do that!)...ya think, maybe???

By reading your origional post I recognized the same thought processes I went through during and after my divorce.

You are over analyzing it. You are trying to understand the meaning behind everything she says or does.
Stop it!

Men in normal states of mind cannot understand all the minutiae of women. Let alone right after a break up.

Remember that right now and for many months ahead you are damaged goods. You are not fit for any long term relationship with anyone, INCLUDING HER.

You will never be able to think of her the same way again even it you were to get back together. Deep in the dark recesses of your mind you will think she was cheating on you while you two were apart. And it will manifest itself in many ways that will sabotage any efforts with her.

Move on!
Put yourself in target rich enviroments. But don't push it. Let the ladies come to you.
But tell them you are NOT looking for something serious. NEVER let yourself get into a corner where you feel the need to explain all the details. Just tell them the breakup was a join decision and you were just as much at fault as her.

The ladies (and not so ladies) will crawl all over you. They like the idea of someone they can't have. They will like the idea that you accept some of the responsibility of the break up.

Work as much as you can and spend as much time around other people as you can.
But don't spill your guts to them. They don't want to hear it. You don't want to be tainted as that messed up guy.

If you feel the need to vent come to the internet (like here). We don't know you (I hope) and we will give you the cold hard advice you need but don;t really want to hear.

You won't be ready for a permanent relationship for AT LEAST a year.