Witnessed a Tragic Event Today....Now I am having Flash Backs...They won't stop

Oh man, that's awful. There is absolutely no way you could have known or done anything to stop it. He would have done it then or some other time because clearly he was not stable. There is no way you could have prevented his death, but thank god you and the other bystanders were not shot by this man. I don't want to say thank god he only killed himself because it's awful that he did it at all. I agree with your wife, talking to someone may very well be a good idea. They can help you to better cope with the barrage of what if's in your brain and to generally cope with the event a little bit better. My thoughts and prayers are with you, I sincerely wish you healing. You were very very lucky to not be shot and to still be here.

No words can describe what you are going through right now and I wish you the best. I don't know what else to say... My thoughts are with you.

Well... from personal experience, its not like ptsd always looks like the same in every person.

You see things in a scenario and your mind keeps it in that scenario, way back there. I never had any issues at home either.

My mind does simple associations to avoid dealing with the problem. So it goes like "crap in war = happens in that particular scenario. If at home, not that scenario, thus not that crap". Although this is kind of a quick patch, it helps to deal with everyday life, as long as nothing happens that sends me back.

Altho... if something happens in daily life that resembles what I've seen in the "other scenario", then all mixes up, the difference is shattered and I have nowhere to hide.

Good luck mate. I hope you learn to cope with it... because is not going away. You really have to deal with it :/

Originally posted by JValhalla
I will post this now before it is National News. I have refrained from using too much graphic detail.

Today I witnessed a tragic event. While I was at the Gun Range this afternoon a local man turned the gun on himself and took his own life. I heard the shot, saw the destruction of his face along with all the gore, peoples reactions, The panic that perused afterwards. I don't remember driving home, now I am here a few hours later and since then my wife has told me I have blanked out several times. I have 8 missed calls from the local news stations asking for a statement. Two reporters have been to my house. I don't know how they got my number or address.

I have been to war, I have not ever had a flashback from this conflict. Never had any symptoms of PTSD. My wife has already called a therapist for me to talk to tomorrow because she is very worried. When I get home I have a set routine check on the baby and go out back and play with the dogs. I have been in bed since about 1:30 staring at the ceiling. Not having any interest in either. Wondering if I could have stopped this man, If he could have turned the gun on me or other patrons. It's crazy I was sitting outside having a cigarette with this man just a few minutes earlier. He gave no signs no warnings. If he had said anything I would have told the range master.

Since the suicide this afternoon my brain is recounting past events and I cant stop it. I have had very personal events with suicide and now they all keep flooding my head...I can't stop them. Sorry if this post seems more like rambling.

I DO NOT WANT A SECOND AMENDMENT ARGUMENT HERE. MODS PLEASE KEEP PEOPLE ON TOPIC. IF THIS MAN WAS THIS DISTURBED HE WOULD HAVE DONE IT ANYWAYS.

I just don't know.....

It hits you harder when you aren't mentally prepared for it. When you were off to war you had a chance to put up some mental and emotional walls because you knew it was coming. You might have not known when exactly...but you knew that there was a real good chance the entire time you were in Iraq/Afghanistan/Vietnam/wherever that you would gun shots, bodies, etc....but it's mighty different when you aren't braced for it.

About a decade ago I was relocated to LA for work for a 9 month assignment. My very first day in town I woke up at the hotel in Orange County and went across the street to the grocery store to pick up a few things for my hotel room.

I wasn't in the store 10 minutes and I witnessed some guy go totally batsh^t w/ a samurai sword and behead two people and cut another guys arm off for absolutely no reason. As luck would have it...there was a cop in the store picking up donuts at the time (not kidding...he was actually picking up donuts) and he put a bullet in the guy before he could hurt anyone else.

Needless to say...it really f^cked me up. I didn't sleep decently for almost three months w/out taking something to knock me out. Much like you...I've been in my share of other situations that could have or should have caused PTSD...but I never had a problem with it.

The only difference I was able to pin down was that in all of the other situations I had a chance to put myself in the right frame of mind first...even if it was just a minute or two.

I wish there was an easy answer for how to deal with it...but quite frankly the only thing that worked for me was time and waiting it out.

Good luck....and don't be too proud to ask the doc for something to get you to sleep at night for awhile if you need it. You can buy those Ambien things OTC...but they always left me really, really, foggy in the morning and actually kind of made things worse. Get the doc to prescribe the Grade A stuff for you if you need it. It's worth every penny in my book.

Guns are build for blowing other peoples brains out.

If you can't handle this essential truth, then guns are not for you.

Why are you training to use something which, when putting it to use, sends you into a state of psychosis ?

I suggest getting professional advice from a therapist.

Just keep on typing out your feelings Make the keyboard sing with what's going on in your head.
Read the comments of those who want to help and reply. Then read the comments of the trolls
that tell you to "man up" and get angry and reply.

It's called working it out.....when you run out of steam, drink a pint of Jack Daniels, get angry, break
some stuff, pass out....and if you're not better in the morning...do it again.

And keep this in mind...nothing that guy did was your fault...it was all his doing and his responsibility

You were just a bystander....and it's natural to be freaked out by what happened....just shows you're human

My heart goes out to you OP, this is one of my worst fears. Just look at it how it is, you saw something most dont ever see, but it was not you who did it, nor your fault.

Nor is it your fault that it is reminding you of other traumatic events. It is totally natural to feel this way OP, just remember that! We are only human and can only take so much without carrying some of it with us.

Im very sorry this happened to you.

I feel talking about it is a great thing to do. I had some things happen in front of me in Afghanistan, and the one of the best things you can do is to talk about it. If you hold back your emotions about it its gonna keep building up, you may forget for a while but its still housed in your brain, and you will keep having flashbacks, ptsd, stress.

You couldn't have done anything, I am sorry you witnessed this.

The sad thing is this is fairly common at gun ranges, people will rent a gun (because they don't have one) to end their own life.

Its why many have a rule that when you rent you have to either have been a member or in a group.

The man was determined to do it, nothing could of stopped it, and certainly not you, his very method shows that he had thought it out for some time.

Going to a range, renting a gun etc.

reply to post by JValhalla


Take this as a lesson, appreciate everything to the fullest, don't take anything for granted for one mans trash may be another mans gold. The most you can do is use the tragic experience to better yourself.

The world is a sick place and it's always the silent ones that should be taken seriously. Sorry.

Originally posted by H1ght3chHippie
Guns are build for blowing other peoples brains out.

If you can't handle this essential truth, then guns are not for you.

Why are you training to use something which, when putting it to use, sends you into a state of psychosis ?

I suggest getting professional advice from a therapist.

I didn't realise that everyone who has used a gun has blown their own heads off along with someone elses. The truth is there are some people out there who shouldn't have access to weapons. The problem is no-one can read minds and predict when someone is going to go on a killing spree.

"What if" are the two most dangerous words in our language. Remember this to shall pass. Ya know it must be something in the water down there I vaguely remember a story about a man who killed his wife then went to the range, rented a gun and shot himself in fl. back in Feb also? Hmmm.

I feel your pain. I am a Police Officer and have seen several suicides occur. I have responded to several dozens after the fact. It is not easy and it does take a tool on you both physically and mentally.

War is a different kind of monster because you are in a different frame of mind than when you are at home. Like a previous poster said you kind of start building up your emotional wall on the trip to the battleground. Not saying that war is easier by any means.

Just talking about the situations I experience helps me cope with things. Just make sure you don't bottle your feelings up. That is a recipe for disaster.

As far as him turning the gun on other patrons you are right, that could of happened. So it is important to remember life is precious and not one second is promised.

Don't blame yourself. You are not responsible. Don't let it change you as a person. If you don't want to talk about it in person at least you have ATS!

That is pretty graphic. My dad was involved at a major shooting at a hospital where he worked in the 90's and he never recovered from it... it pretty much shut our whole family down for a decade and a half, only in the past year have we started to function.

I think the most graphic thing I have witnessed was a friend of mine holding up a short kid by the neck and threatening to kill him on the spot. The same friend threatened to shoot up the college campus, and just talking to him about it freaked me out.

I am sure that suicide is not a good choice, under any circumstances. It is, however, a choice that should be respected. It is an admission that the circumstances of your life were to great and that you need less of a challenge next time around and you will get it. Nothing moves in a straight line. The most traumatic events in life, give us the opportunity to grow and that is why we should not take our own life.

We're all destructible and vulnerable flesh, sorry for the shock that comes with seeing such a thing. Just remember that while this has been hard for you and that person probably didn't intend for that, or didn't know the situation it would cause for you, that on the same token, you don't know his situation.

Perhaps he was facing a horrible fatal illness. Perhaps he simply needed a gracious out.

He's likely at peace now, maybe even in a better place. So in all of the horror at least find an ounce of calm knowing that his struggle has ended.

Is it really very different (contextually) to see someone do that verses say, light up a cigarette? The gun is a hell of a lot faster, but both have the generally same result.

See your therapist though...chances are, the PTSD is not from this suicide, but from not dealing with whatever you seen in service. This was simply the trigger that hit all those feelings. So ya, it isn't even about that one dude, its about a bunch of other stuff tucked away and the door kicked open in one move.

Come to find out, you didn't leave earth when you left the service....change of landscape doesn't mean change of the darkness of man.

So..deal with that..hell, that guy did something..but it may end up being a good thing for you if you can identify and deal with your issues now. His death may count for something if you start to heal yourself of other areas.

If your one to believe that there is a reason for these weird things in life, perhaps thats what he was meant to do so you can do some mental home building.

Originally posted by TorqueyThePig
War is a different kind of monster because you are in a different frame of mind than when you are at home. Like a previous poster said you kind of start building up your emotional wall on the trip to the battleground. Not saying that war is easier by any means.

Thing is, its a wall, but that doesn't release anything. It simply holds everything in to be dealt with at a later date.

And military doesn't do a good job at the post-war soldier. Soo many military folks have ptsd with no real idea how to sort things out.

There should be a mandatory x amount of years after service therapy for anyone who has served in war or any other conflict (police actions galore). Not only would this help the person, but would also be less dangerous for society to release a killer into civpop without standing down their mind.

Im really sorry for you. If it continues, it may well become your 1st PTSD. Unfortunately, as youve stated being in the war and NOT experiencing PTSD ...this may induce some memories long forgotten.

Try to be optimistic and philisophical about it all. You didnt do it, and you couldnt have prevented it either. The world and God works in mysterious ways, you know? Reasons today and tomorrow may be unclear, but nevertheless, it means something...and only to you and how you preceive it?

Get some counseling at the VA. You have the treatment coming as a vet.

Good luck to you...Blessings...MS

reply to post by SaturnFX


You are absolutely right. Erecting a wall does nothing but help temporarily (sort of). I think you are right. The military and police agencies drop the ball on dealing with the emotional damage seen from service.

They also drop the ball on providing instruction and techniques prior to experiencing something tragic.