ATS, What Should I Do?

Originally posted by Ericthenewbie

One should never sacrifice their own core feelings or sexuality in order to appease another regardless even if it's their own mother!

One shouldn't be so self centered and selfish by assuming that pursuing one's own self happiness is a noble goal even if it destroys the people around about you.

reply to post by jude11


I'm sorry, I was sure this was the RELATIONSHIP section of the forum and I saw other advice topics and genuinely need advice. I'm sorry that you apparently have something inside of your lower region. If I wanted stars, I would start a topic to gain stars. You didn't have to come into this topic and openly insult me for no reason, you must be a very unhappy person that you needed that short self esteem boost. I hope it felt good.

Originally posted by ollncasino
It isn't being a narrow-minded idiot to want your child to get married to a member of the opposite sex and have children.

It is being a narrow-minded idiot if you hate your own children because the son/daughter loves someone THEY love, and not someone the parents would love.

It is perfectly natural.

Yes it is. And I think loving the same sex is not natural. It doesn't mean I'd hate my daughter for it.

Originally posted by ollncasino

Originally posted by Ericthenewbie

One should never sacrifice their own core feelings or sexuality in order to appease another regardless even if it's their own mother!

One shouldn't be so self centered and selfish by assuming that pursuing one's own self happiness is a noble goal even if it destroys the people around about you.

More so when you consider this is not a straight/gay issue, the OP is clearly stating that she is BI, so it completely does come down to a choice, its not a biological impartive anymore, as again shes not GAY or STRAIGHT, but both.

So now its a choice on her part to do as you say.

reply to post by ollncasino


What I'm wondering is will she get a new wardrobe,I hear lumberjack shirts are all the rage amongst lesbians!

If you were asking what NOT to do, you've come to the right place...

If on the other hand you are really interested in advice that will HELP you,

Seek help from the uncreated one, He knows the answer before you even ask...

reply to post by ollncasino



Interesting that her finding her place in the world in your eyes equates to selfishness and her fault for destroying her family....I look at it as selfishness on behalf of her parents for not letting her develop into her true self as an individual and forcing her to live a lie for the rest of her life in order for them to be happy..... Can you really be happy knowing you are preventing someone else from being happy themselves?!? Maybe our understanding of selfishness is different.

Originally posted by benrl

More so when you consider this is not a straight/gay issue, the OP is clearly stating that she is BI, so it completely does come down to a choice, its not a biological impartive anymore, as again shes not GAY or STRAIGHT, but both.

So now its a choice on her part to do as you say.

You are making it sound like both options are the same. And if she just picked the guy "everyone" would be happy.
The reason she doesn't seem to be doing so is because the other person happens to be more suitable.

I "chose" between three girls, and I'm married now to the one I went for. This does not mean the other two were as "good choices", obviously there's a reason why she is the one.

reply to post by Ericthenewbie


As the above poster said she is choosing to do this.I thought gays always say they were born like this.Just confirms what I always thought,liars,attention seekers & lets not forget self centered.

reply to post by glen200376


Bisexuality is a whole new ball game and is NOT gay. Gay people don't have a choice, they're born that way just as I was born to like both genders and not just one. There is nothing I can do about it and it is just who I am. The way you're describing homosexuality, then all straight people must be attention grabbing liars because the narrow minded ones bash gays.

Originally posted by Ericthenewbie
reply to post by ollncasino

 

Interesting that her finding her place in the world in your eyes equates to selfishness and her fault for destroying her family....I look at it as selfishness on behalf of her parents for not letting her develop into her true self as an individual and forcing her to live a lie for the rest of her life in order for them to be happy..... Can you really be happy knowing you are preventing someone else from being happy themselves?!? Maybe our understanding of selfishness is different.

would you feel the same if your child had a thing for molesting kids?" go on do what you want child be happy"
I don't think so!

If your dependent on your parents I wouldn't risk it. Explore your sexuality after you move out if you think your parents would have a major problem with it. Another option you have is to date the chick and keep your parents from finding out. It's a lot of sneaking around on your part, but it's an option.

Chances are you aren't going to spend the rest of your life with either the girl or the guy, so do a little risk assessment and decide whether dating the chick is worth potentially marring your relationship with your parents. If it will prevent a ton of trouble and stress, I would suggest staying heterosexual for the time that you are living with your parents.

reply to post by glen200376


Wow...I thought your lumberjack post was in bad taste but your last post truly shows your ignorance.

Yes she has feelings for both sexes (not a choice)....the only choice she has based on the situation is to ignore/suppress one of the two feelings found within her.

The right fix to her situation would be to find a bisexual mate!

Originally posted by Myomistress
reply to post by glen200376

 

Bisexuality is a whole new ball game and is NOT gay. Gay people don't have a choice, they're born that way just as I was born to like both genders and not just one. There is nothing I can do about it and it is just who I am. The way you're describing homosexuality, then all straight people must be attention grabbing liars because the narrow minded ones bash gays.

so what you're saying is you are the same.You say narrow mind I say normal mind.

reply to post by glen200376



I'm not sure how you make the connection between being bisexual and being a child molester ... I would not condone my child being a child molester... WTF is wrong with you?!?

Originally posted by Ericthenewbie

Interesting that her finding her place in the world in your eyes equates to selfishness and her fault for destroying her I look at it as selfishness on behalf of her parents for not letting her develop into her true self as an individual and forcing her to live a lie for the rest of her life in order for them to be happy.....

It is self centered and selfish to single mindedly pursue our own happiness no matter what damage it does to those around us.

It is selfish.

reply to post by glen200376


That's very crass.

OP it's possible your family may not be as harsh as you think they will.
My daughter was terrified to tell me she was gay. I gave no reason for her to ever think that. My eldest daughter had in fact been clueing me into it, so I sort of knew anyways. When my daughter seemed she was ready to tell me. I helped her out by asking if this was going to be her confession. Anyways she is getting married soon and I couldn't be happier she has found a wonderful girl to share her life with.

I can understand if your mother has already issued a warning if you ever tell her that you are....well that tells me she does know and isn't going to be shocked by it.

I'm not saying it will go this way for you but even if your family arent accepting at first, they will come around eventually. If they don't then so be it, you tried and its their loss.

You have to be true to yourself or you will be miserable. I urge you to be honest with the girl and guy. Don't lead them on and inform them of your uncertainty. Or you can be dishonest and go with both, a handy solution when they don't live in the same towns. That's not nice to do though. Do what you want to do, what makes you happy and feels right.

I don't really know what to say. I only have the perspective of being the mother of a gay daughter.

I am also from a family that is very judgemental and wasted most of my life worrying about what they think. It caused so much stress and the feeling I was never good enough. Some of the things I was scared of them knowing though was really just me thinking it would be a bad outcome.

reply to post by ollncasino



So by your interpretation, the mother isn't selfish for forcing her daughter to be something she is not just so the mother can stay happy?!? ridiculous!

my comments are reality.if she can't handle them on the internet then how the hell will she manage in the real world?

Originally posted by Ericthenewbie

So by your interpretation, the mother isn't selfish for forcing her daughter to be something she is not just so the mother can stay happy?!? ridiculous!

She is bi. She swings both ways.

She can choose to wound her mother deeply by joining the lesbian community or she can choose a man and follow a heterosexual relationship.

Besides, it is normal and natural as a mother to want your daughter to get married and have kids.

Mother nature worked all of this out a long time ago.