Are You Offended??? SO WHAT!!!

Originally posted by sonnny1

Originally posted by boncho


this is just an example of how a non issue turns into an issue. If you quash the non issues as they arise eventually people will be powerless with arguing them.

Agree.

Although, its the non issues that most people WANT to argue about.

Funny, hey?

Yeah, it's true. But they never hold much weight. A wry smile and a question like "Jeez Uncle Bob, I didn't know you raised this cow from birth. Tell me about how good the meat is without ketchup. "

reply to post by Hefficide


OMFG, I am so guilty of almost all those things to some extent or another, usually the greater extent unfortunately.

I need a couple of hours to ponder some of this before I can make any actual intelligable response, so I will refrain from any further discourse for the time being except to say....

Thanks for blowing my mind again today Heff, I now really believe I am the problem, and in no way at this moment a part of the solution.

OMG....My dad was at your cookout!

I swear to you that when I first invited my husband (prior to him being my husband of course) over to meet my parents, my dad wanted to cookout. I warned my husband to be for days prior to NOT USE any kind of sauce on his steak. He...like you...loves the ketchup on any kind of steak. If there is no ketchup, he will use A-1. 57, soy?, worchester (how the hades is that spelled...I can't even say it right. ) Something has to be on it. He did good and still goes without on occasion just for my father's sake. Same way that I don't tell his mother that she overcooks her macaroni...it keeps the peace.

My dad is one that believes if the steak is a good cut and grilled to perfection, to use sauce of any kind is ruining his master chef skills. I still eat my steak dry. It was/is serious business. So considering that, I did have to literally lol at the beginning of your post. I also had to share because I know some will not believe that folks are really that serious about stuff like that. They are. Very.

Your whole OP nailed it I believe. I think some folks have what I like to call the "Martyr Complex". It doesn't matter what you do, or what you say...they just search for a reason to put another nail in their cross. I don't understand folks like that, but I do know that they exist...in high numbers. They seem to be happier while adding imaginary nail after imaginary nail to their own cross just hoping someone will see how heavy and difficult it is to carry and feel pity for them. They need to be the constant victim. If they can't find a legitimate issue, they will create one. This seems to be what happened to you. There is no reason for the use of a condiment to cause that much of a stir.

My dad would not have said anything to anybody if they used sauce. Never. He might not offer to cook you another steak, but he would not have blown it up like that...unless it was me.

With all the stress of the economy amongst many other things...people are going over the edge a lot easier than normal (in my experience at least). It sounds like some of the folks at your outing were already angry about something else and just used you as the punching bag. Who knows these days?? I hope it can be mended either way as it is hard to get along with family when it is strained. It's kind of hard when it's not for that matter.

I didn't add much I don't guess. I just wanted to share so you didn't feel like it was all nutters just on your end!

Some people...you just can't please.

Originally posted by boncho


Yeah, it's true. But they never hold much weight. A wry smile and a question like "Jeez Uncle Bob, I didn't know you raised this cow from birth. Tell me about how good the meat is without ketchup.

"

My kids just asked me, whats so funny, and why am I laughing?



Your right, again.

What an awesome thread Heff. I wish I had something brilliant to add to it, but I think you've already nailed it.

I hope you don't mind if I put this in my signature. We all need to read this one.

reply to post by Klassified


Mind? Not at all! Honored!

And, to everyone... thanks for the replies and I'll get to responding after awhile. But, honest to God, right now I'm busy eating leftover steak - with ketchup.

~Heff

reply to post by Hefficide


One more thing, and I know you will see the Irony in it, maybe in a couple of ways...........



Well done is better than well said. ~Benjamin Franklin

I can see how the "taking offense" might apply to you because of their reactions - but, somehow I missed the connection between "offense" and the rest of your (presumably) normally NOT dysfunctional family.

What I see in the picnic story alone is:

A sudden "rift" or dysfunction which probably didn't have anything at all to do with ketsup on steak. If it's been your way to eat steak all your life, it shouldn't come as a surprise or shock to family members whom I presume you grew up with.

Is there a sex element? Were the two sides all or mostly male vs. female?

Is there a POLITICAL element? This is a MAJOR one as I currently see Republican family members ripping each other's throats out - especially the back-stabbers, the ostriches who prefer to not know and hide their heads in the sand, the racists, and the talk-behind-the-backers. In other words, could there be a political split of any sort that merely played out as the ketsup on steak rift?

Ketsup on steak - uuuum, might it have sparked a "rich and sophisticated" vs. "poor and unrefined" rift? There's a huge amount of political rift going on in this area. "Too big to fail" now means "Too rich to fail" and some I know are soaking everything into people who 'stole' enough to get an impressive 'spread' while they won't give an end crust of bread to a starving person. There seems to be a lot of rich hating poor going on.

Is it possible you took offense at something they said and it was your taking offense that started the rileup with some 'protecting' or siding with you and others in the 'suck it up' personality group against?

I understand the offence your father in law takes to your putting ketchup on your steaks.

I refuse to cook a streak for any family member who puts Anything on their steak. If they want to put ketchup on their steak...I will cook them a #ing hamburger.

Originally posted by RobertF
I understand the offence your father in law takes to your putting ketchup on your steaks.

I refuse to cook a streak for any family member who puts Anything on their steak. If they want to put ketchup on their steak...I will cook them a #ing hamburger.

Sweet fancy Moses...my dad has followed me here after he left Heff's cookout...

That is EXACTLY what he says.

Originally posted by RobertF
I understand the offence your father in law takes to your putting ketchup on your steaks.

I refuse to cook a streak for any family member who puts Anything on their steak. If they want to put ketchup on their steak...I will cook them a #ing hamburger.

It's funny this...

I mean, at the end of the day (Or the next morning) it all comes out the same colour. Who gives a hoot? And I like to put chilli sauce on my steak, but not because the meat is bland.. because it ENHANCES the flavour.

Not a big fan of tomato sauce/ketchup, but old english mustard (the stuff that makes your nose fall off and shrivel up like a prune it's that toxic) and chilli sauce, they're not there to make a banana split with.

Good thing cows taste like steak eh, or we'd all be eating tofu.

Originally posted by Kangaruex4Ewe

Originally posted by RobertF
I understand the offence your father in law takes to your putting ketchup on your steaks.

I refuse to cook a streak for any family member who puts Anything on their steak. If they want to put ketchup on their steak...I will cook them a #ing hamburger.

Sweet fancy Moses...my dad has followed me here after he left Heff's cookout...

That is EXACTLY what he says.

edit on 9/2/2012 by Kangaruex4Ewe because: (no reason given)

LOL

I really do understand why he says it though. Steak lovers take extraordinary measures to ensure they cook the best steak they can, from the grade of the meat, marbeling, seasonings, what type of grill (method of heat ie.. wood (apple, hickory, pear, pinion etc..) charcoal, never gas for steak.

All these preparations amount to a massive insult to the steak chef if a person puts a condiment such as ketchup on their master piece.

To a cook that takes the time to prepare the proper steak, placing a condiment on it is similar to walking past a work of van goh and smearing human feces across it.

Originally posted by Kangaruex4Ewe

Originally posted by RobertF
I understand the offence your father in law takes to your putting ketchup on your steaks.

I refuse to cook a streak for any family member who puts Anything on their steak. If they want to put ketchup on their steak...I will cook them a #ing hamburger.

Sweet fancy Moses...my dad has followed me here after he left Heff's cookout...

That is EXACTLY what he says.

edit on 9/2/2012 by Kangaruex4Ewe because: (no reason given)

Next time just tell the man you don't have what it takes to appreciate a proper steak. Then ask him to blow your mind away with a well ( not as in well done but, a hamburger grilled to perfection) cooked hamburger. He will respect that, and you will have one of the best hamburgers ever made.

My Grandmother used to say, "To each his own, said the old lady as she kissed her cow."

One of my many own personal sayings is, "Fights (arguements) cannot be won because if it has gotten to that stage, everybody already lost."

Once you truly understand that you are the Master of your own ship, others can verbally attack you all day and it won't make a bit of difference.

Originally posted by RobertF

Originally posted by Kangaruex4Ewe

Originally posted by RobertF
I understand the offence your father in law takes to your putting ketchup on your steaks.

I refuse to cook a streak for any family member who puts Anything on their steak. If they want to put ketchup on their steak...I will cook them a #ing hamburger.

Sweet fancy Moses...my dad has followed me here after he left Heff's cookout...

That is EXACTLY what he says.

edit on 9/2/2012 by Kangaruex4Ewe because: (no reason given)

Next time just tell the man you don't have what it takes to appreciate a proper steak. Then ask him to blow your mind away with a well ( not as in well done but, a hamburger grilled to perfection) cooked hamburger. He will respect that, and you will have one of the best hamburgers ever made.

edit on 2-9-2012 by RobertF because: (no reason given)

No!! I dare not put any sauce on my steak. My op in this thread was about my husband doing so. I know better than to put it on a steak my dad cooked and honestly unless the steak is just really bad, I don't use sauce at all. After 35 years of eating steak that my dad grilled out...I still can not come close to matching the flavor. I couldn't chance not having another by putting sauce on it.

Did I mention that the steak was a personal allegory used to segue into the very real and divisive ideas regarding psychological manipulation techniques used to cause illusory division between societies and cultures?

And, FTR... I'm divorced and have no father in law.

~Heff

reply to post by Hefficide


Well Heff, Your thread that pertained to narcissism has turned into one about pride...which could arguably be a form of narcissism.

Oh and steaks! Now I'm hungry again.

Much of this in my opinion boils down to "Being PC", which I also believe will be the end of civil conversation as we know it.

So you like ketchup on your steak, meh, if you don't like my cooking, then slather it on. But try it first is all I ask.

That metaphor is what we really need. If you disagree with someone and they get all fired up while disagreeing with you, then move on. Chances are you won't change their minds.

Pretty much only life can do that...and experiance.

Ketchup? Really?

Originally posted by Hefficide

Did I mention that the steak was a personal allegory used to segue into the very real and divisive ideas regarding psychological manipulation techniques used to cause illusory division between societies and cultures?

And, FTR... I'm divorced and have no father in law.

~Heff

Sounds like people are only interested in the ketchup part.



Read the full post people

Originally posted by Kangaruex4Ewe

Originally posted by RobertF

Originally posted by Kangaruex4Ewe

Originally posted by RobertF
I understand the offence your father in law takes to your putting ketchup on your steaks.

I refuse to cook a streak for any family member who puts Anything on their steak. If they want to put ketchup on their steak...I will cook them a #ing hamburger.

Sweet fancy Moses...my dad has followed me here after he left Heff's cookout...

That is EXACTLY what he says.

edit on 9/2/2012 by Kangaruex4Ewe because: (no reason given)

Next time just tell the man you don't have what it takes to appreciate a proper steak. Then ask him to blow your mind away with a well ( not as in well done but, a hamburger grilled to perfection) cooked hamburger. He will respect that, and you will have one of the best hamburgers ever made.

edit on 2-9-2012 by RobertF because: (no reason given)

No!! I dare not put any sauce on my steak. My op in this thread was about my husband doing so. I know better than to put it on a steak my dad cooked and honestly unless the steak is just really bad, I don't use sauce at all. After 35 years of eating steak that my dad grilled out...I still can not come close to matching the flavor. I couldn't chance not having another by putting sauce on it.

LOL, sorry my misunderstanding then.

many chefs who go to years and years of culinary school would FLIP if there was ANYTHING else added by the person.
in some places, they won't even put salt and pepper out, because the chef seasoned it PERFECTLY to get it to taste just right. this is with years of schooling.
they would get SO offended if someone "disrespected" the chefs meal like that.

so that is just a different perspective, I guess. but I'm guessing your family member might not be a 5 star culinary pro.

but very cool thread. very nicely put together.


or, is he from Chicago? people in Chicago FLIP if you put ketchup on a hot dog. I have to warn my friends when they come and visit from out of state. some places will refuse to serve you if you want ketchup xD.