My parents don't approve of me pursuing my music career

reply to post by Ptenjakin


Please continue to follow your heart with conviction.

My sis and I were raised in a conservative household where a 'script' existed on the day of our birth that was to be followed under threat of condemnation. That's what happened to my sister who had artistic inclinations. As benign as her career aspirations were in the area of the Arts, my parents (mother in particular) viewed anything other thanher view of 'mainstream' as simple bottom-feeding. I understand this now, in adulthood and as a parent myself, as being nothing more than selfish intolerance. Sadly, it involved parents perpetrating this upon their well-intentioned offspring.

My sister spent the better part of her lifetime trying to gain their approval of anything of her choice, but to no avail. She finally elected estrangement over a dozen years ago. She keeps the company of those who appreciate her inherent goodness and wholesome intentions and is better off for it.

In retrospect, my parents were blinded by their own intolerance into believing that their censure of my sister's choices was in some way 'protecting' her from herself and a perceived Bohemian life of poverty and unhappiness. All it really was intended to do was to force her down a path of life that could provide them with self-satisfaction and bragging rights at the expense of my sister's happiness.

I only wish that my sister learned earlier in her adulthood to surround herself with a circle of support and encouragement and kept my parents a safe distance from her. You should, too, so that you can pursue your dreams to the fullest. Please yourself and be inspired by the continued hope that your parents will find a way to be proud of your accomplishments -- even if you aren't reading the lines of their 'script' word-for-word.

Good luck with your musical endeavors;

Regarding the music:

It's very Adele-esque, which is a nice draw right now. Singer/songwriters who can convey their emotions have a talent.

I would back off the voice effects on a lot of it. You could use the help of a real producer.

Regarding your parents and life in general:

There are multiple paths to take in your 20s. You can

A. Get a job. There is no 9 to 5 btw. It's more like 7:45 to 5:15. This can get you going on the career path and give you a greater probability of higher income in your 30s.

B. Pursue your music career. Good luck. Even the most talented people remain playing coffee bars in Akron sometimes. However, this gives you a chance to see the country. Move around a lot. Be nimble. Don't be burdened by material crap.

C. Waste it on menial jobs, like I did. I didn't get to see anything and I still had no money. DON'T PICK C!

Some advice from a former professional musician,

Talent and success in the music industry have nothing to do with each other. It takes talent, money and surrounding yourself with other talented people who are driven towards success.

As a solo artist you stand a better chance, the odds of landing a record contract for a band are worse than the odds of being struck by lightning. In a band, every members needs to be good enough, something that can be very difficult in the real World. It's much more common to have a decent group but a mediocre singer or a drummer who can't keep time.

I left a small town before the ink even dried on my diploma, moved to a big city and spent years starving to death while playing clubs and small concert venues. I eventually found steady work as a studio musician and filled in on recordings for the occasional drug addicted, too messed up to play full time band member of a handful of famous groups. What did I get for it? Union scale and the satisfaction of knowing when I hear one of those songs that it's me but my name's not on the record and the royalty checks go elsewhere.

If pure talent was enough I would have been a Rock star. I was extremely good, considered the best at my instrument and playing for me was as easy as breathing. Being in the wrong place, having the wrong style for the time and lack of financial backing will impact your music career more than talent (as will using drugs, sleeping around or surrounding yourself with the wrong people).

My parents knew better than to try and talk me out of trying but they were absolutely right in one regard - have something else to fall back on. Being a musician costs money and you can do a lot more with a college education and a decent job while chasing your dream than watching fries ride in a basket or not working at all.

I met a semi famous actor once and when he asked what I did and I told him his reply was "tough career, good luck but you'd be better off taking up my line of work if you want to be famous". When actors think your career is more difficult than theirs you know you're in trouble.

Wasn't too keen on your lyrics to be honest, but when I clicked the link and listened I realized it's not the lyrics that are your strengths, but the way you sing and arrange them. You have a great voice and mind for music. I think lyrically you could do a lot better, but keep at it! You'll learn more as you perform more and write more.. If you want to do something in life then do it, give it you best shot and don't let other peoples disbelief or negativity stop you! Hope it works out for you

reply to post by Ptenjakin


great stuff! good luck on your endeavours, as a fellow artist i understand the way of the music industry, makin music, editing, mixing, getting fans, playing shows is all hard work.... but promo work is the most pain staking part of the business

Originally posted by Scamzarilla
reply to post by Ptenjakin

 

great stuff! good luck on your endeavours, as a fellow artist i understand the way of the music industry, makin music, editing, mixing, getting fans, playing shows is all hard work.... but promo work is the most pain staking part of the business

tell me about it

reply to post by Ptenjakin


Very nice indeed. Go for it !!!!!! Your parents just do not understand....Has anyone told you you were NOT good enough?

reply to post by network dude


Thanks. Thing is I have my plans if things don't work out. But they're just not having it.

Either way, I don't plan on using plan b... hahaha...

reply to post by GoneGrey


I'm sad to hear that your sister is estranged from your parents.

I definitely surround myself with a lot of good people, musicians, friends that support me.

I guess what I long for is that parental support. It's just something I feel that I've been fully missing for most of my life. Except, of course, when it came to things they wanted me to do.

reply to post by WickettheRabbit


I guess you can say I'm mentally prepared for that life style. I've never been a person to hunger for material wealth and I'm very easy to satisfy in that regards.

I have utmost confidence that if everything were to fail, my intellect would be put to use elsewhere. But I don't plan to fail.

Thanks for saying I sound like Adele. Second time I've heard that one!

reply to post by ecoparity


I definitely have my job and I've been supporting myself for 2 years now. But its not in their desired field. I'm a tennis instructor and do enough to help me live comfortably on my own.

Thanks for the insight.

reply to post by VexedSoul


Thanks for the input.

Honestly, my lyricism changes depending on the context of the song. I can be very clever with my wordplay if it calls for it. However I don't think this type of song would've needed it.

Especially since my parents don't have english as their first language.

reply to post by Starwise


I've definitely had people put me down. But I've had way more people put me up.

I understand I can't please everyone. I don't plan to. I plan to make my music, give the world my style.

Originally posted by Ptenjakin
reply to post by Starwise

 

I've definitely had people put me down. But I've had way more people put me up.

I understand I can't please everyone. I don't plan to. I plan to make my music, give the world my style.

Following our dreams sometimes means to NOT do what our parents want us too I have to remember that though when my kids grow up

Good Luck to you in your future!!

PS you have a great falsetto!!

reply to post by Ptenjakin


Of course not.
Thousands of people want to be musicians but many fail.

Music is something beautiful and should be appreciated. But it doesn't always bring home the bacon.

In order to succeed you need to know how to market yourself and run your career like a business. That's just the reality of things.

I'm sure your parents care about you and don't want to see you struggling and you need to keep that in mind.

So on your part you need to figure out how to turn your talents into a steady paycheck. And if you do plan on going that route. Going to school and maybe getting a bachelors in Music Theory or Music History etc might not be a bad thing. At least if you have a degree and the music thing doesn't work out. You have a degree and that can lead you to other things. Teaching maybe.. i don't know.

I didn't listen to your song but from the comments you got some raves. Definitely follow your dreams but plan for the future as well

Originally posted by Ptenjakin
reply to post by network dude

 

Thanks. Thing is I have my plans if things don't work out. But they're just not having it.

Either way, I don't plan on using plan b... hahaha...

Fair enough. I just happen to be a parent with teens and twenty somethings. One of which wants to be a rock star. just try not to be too hard on the folks. In 5 years, they will seem much smarter than they do now.

reply to post by Ptenjakin


I loved It
You just follow tour dreamsJust keep at it ...they will end up seeing the mistake they made then you can be all " I told you so"

You are very talented! You should submit your work to be played on ATS LIVE RADIO!

More Info Here...

(*** If you are a musician and would like your music played, contact staff by PM or use the complaint form.***)

DONT EVER GIVE UP YOUR DREAM & TALENT for the sake of making other people happy!!
It is a very hard industry....but you need to live your life including the ups...and the downs.

Best of luck!

Your parents' hesitation to support you is justified.

I'm a professional musician (drummer), and if my kid wanted to pursue music as a profession, honestly I think I'd have a problem with it.

Here's the thing: them not being supportive has nothing to do with whether they think you're talented or not. So don't think that it's a matter of them not believing in your abilities as an artist. I listened to a bit of that song, indeed you do have a lot of talent and a great voice, nobody can deny that.

The music business has always been a tumultuous field, but right now more than ever. There are no rules, it's an absolute free-for-all. This can be either good or bad. There are new opportunities, but also a lot of the opportunities that have always existed are no longer there.

Be careful, have a plan, and protect yourself: if you ever consider signing something, know exactly what every word of that contract means. I'm not even talking about "record deals", but anything. Publishing deals, synch licenses, distribution, merchandising, etc etc. Like I said, it's a free-for-all out there right now. I know way too many bands who are getting #ed cause they were young, desperate and stupid. I know a band who can tour the states, getting guarantees of $7,000 - $15,000 every single night, yet they don't see a dime of it, it all goes to their label. They only get a measly $250 a week (less than $200 after taxes), as salary from the label. I have another friend who is in a very very popular metal band, they sell plenty of records (a miracle in this day and age), pack mid-sized clubs all over the country, yet when he had averaged out what he made on one tour, it came out to $1.68 a day.

My point is, your parents aren't stupid, and while they may not know the legal mumbo jumbo of why the industry is such an ugly place, they've probably heard it all their lives.

My recommendation is this: have a way to make money. A way that's not music. Hopefully your music will, eventually, make you money. But it's not smart to depend on it. It could likely cause you to start to resent your own music, or at the least hinder or put pressure on your artistic output. Find another way. I don't care if it's a website you run, a bike messenger job, anything. But do something so that you can feel free to create whatever it is you want to create, and love what you create, because you aren't forcing it to pay your bills.

Just my 2 cents

Edit: read that you do tennis instruction. Good call. Also wanted to add that the examples I gave of bands that I'm friends with are not rare at all, in case anyone was wondering. It's called a 360 record deal, and it's become the industry standard for new bands/artists, and it's an evil thing.

reply to post by Ptenjakin

copyright everything 1st...or no station will use them..legal reasons against THEM...not you
Good luck