OK, here's my problem (major), any advice/solutions?

Just seems to me that you are an attention seeker.....

You crave to be looked at..

You crave to be admired.....

You want to be wanted....

There are loads of other sentences I could start with YOU, but I will leave it at three.......

I am 47 years old, I have played in bands, many different bands in pubs, clubs, theatres and other large auditoriums since I was 16 years of age....

I have performed in stage plays both acting and singing.....

I still perform stand up comedy and I have performed stand up in comedy clubs all around the world ...

I have performed short plays and comedy sketches....

I have written books........

There are many other things I can't even remember doing......

But I didn't do all this stuff because I wanted to get noticed, I did all this because I actually loved to perform, to act, to sing, to write jokes and write songs etc.........

I am not rich or famous.........

I suppose it would be nice to be famous and have financial security.....and all the other stuff that goes along with it.........

Do you want fame and riches because there is something wrong with your life? Is there something you are running away from? I know people who are in the public eye on the stage and TV, but they are no different to you and me. They still have problems, they still put the bins out at night and they still put their clothes in the washing machine. Fame will not take away any problems or issues you may have, you have to deal with those things head on or even seek support from another person.........

But you are never going to get your dream by sitting on your a**e.....

Turn off the computer.....

Turn off the TV.....

Grab your guitar or whatever instrument you play and then write and write and write and practice and enjoy what you are doing instead of aiming for something you may never get.....

If you wanna get somewhere then you have to try..........

Many people today just want to be famous, but when you ask them what they are going to be famous for, they have no idea, they just want to be famous......

You have to be able to do something, be good at something in order to gain fame and fortune.....

You see all these kids on TV on these so called talent shows. They come on stage, they do their act and then they are told that they are not good enough. Then they start to cry and sob and have a hissy fit on stage stating that they have wanted this all their lives and now their dreams have been broken. But they are only 16/17 years of age and they haven't even had a life yet to try and do it. If they go home and practice and practice and go out in the world outside their bedroom and play and sing live and then return to the talent show again the following year, they may get through the next time........

Don't think that it is your God given right to be anybody, you have to work at it my friend........

Do it because you love it, not because it's all about the word me, me me, me, me, me, me, me me, me, me, me,me, me me, me, me, me,me, me me, me, me, me,me, me me, me, me, me,me, me me, me, me, me,me, me me, me, me, me.............................................

If all you want is to be popular, there are many avenues in which people are getting their"15 minutes of fame".
But a true musician plays because they love their music, musicians cannot generally live off of their craft.


reply to post by deadeyedick

Agreed, revolution or self sufficiency preaching music.
A country boy can survive.

Wow ok, didnt think so many people would get the wrong end of the stick...

You think I want to use music just as a vehicle to get fame?

Completely wrong, not once in the OP did I mention fame, its about what my passion is and about becoming great in that field. And about the achievement, dont give me all this crap about me just wanting 15 minutes of fame or whatever. And stop telling me 'You have to work at it bla bla bla'. Yeaa like I dont know that, like I havent been doing that for the past 5-6 years of my life, every night without fail. I work, finsih, then music for the next 5 hours. I dropped out of university course and took up a music degree. I know what woprk needs to be done so please dont patronise me. You completely missed the point, you can laugh at me all you want thinking im just some delusional kid who hasnt got a clue about life or whatever, do what you want. But I KNOW what I want, im just struggling to get there and I asked for help...

On the other hand, there has been some good replys, madman (I think was your name lol) thank you for your reply!

As the niece of a "one hit wonder" I beg of you, HAVE A BACK UP PLAN! Even if you do make it, you never know how long it will last. My uncle, even though he made it big at one point now lives in extreme poverty 20 years later. The money went fast and he didn't have an alternative plan for his life. Everything he did was dedicated to "making it big." However the only real reason he got his one song on the radio was because he was at the right place at the right time while living in Hollywood. Even though though he occasionally gets royalties, the money doesn't go very far.
I am not trying to discourage, I just want to stress the importance of having a career to fall back on.

And stop telling me 'You have to work at it bla bla bla'. Yeaa like I dont know that, like I havent been doing that for the past 5-6 years of my life, every night without fail. I work, finsih, then music for the next 5 hours. I dropped out of university course and took up a music degree. I know what woprk needs to be done so please dont patronise me. You completely missed the point, you can laugh at me all you want thinking im just some delusional kid who hasnt got a clue about life or whatever, do what you want. But I KNOW what I want, im just struggling to get there and I asked for help...

Forgive me, but I haven't perfected my mind-reading skills and become a number 1 psychic able to read peoples' minds over teh Internetz. If you mentioned this in the first place, we wouldn't have mistaken you for some dude that expects to be an instant hit through the Law (hypothesis, actually) of Attraction. Your OP suggested you played a bit, and got disheartened after a couple of setbacks.

Originally posted by Idonthaveabeard
Wow ok, didnt think so many people would get the wrong end of the stick...

You think I want to use music just as a vehicle to get fame?

Completely wrong, not once in the OP did I mention fame, its about what my passion is and about becoming great in that field. And about the achievement, dont give me all this crap about me just wanting 15 minutes of fame or whatever. And stop telling me 'You have to work at it bla bla bla'. Yeaa like I dont know that, like I havent been doing that for the past 5-6 years of my life, every night without fail. I work, finsih, then music for the next 5 hours. I dropped out of university course and took up a music degree. I know what woprk needs to be done so please dont patronise me. You completely missed the point, you can laugh at me all you want thinking im just some delusional kid who hasnt got a clue about life or whatever, do what you want. But I KNOW what I want, im just struggling to get there and I asked for help...

On the other hand, there has been some good replys, madman (I think was your name lol) thank you for your reply!

Don't you think that people have replied to your post due to the way that it is written......

We have no idea how old you are........

Without sounding disrespectful, the way it was written seems to come from a person who appears to be a lot younger than what you actually/probably are.........

People can only judge by what they read, without facts then they have to write a reply in the way that they feel is appropriate..........

Have you tried using drugs? I am just saying that all of the greats were completely blasted when they wrote classic rock songs. I find when I am high songs just pop into my mind and they are really catchy tunes. Unfortunately I am a lazy, lazy man and forget them within minutes. Came up with a great one in the bathroom a few minutes ago and could not repeat it now for a million dollars. So, yeah. Drugs and keep a tape recorder with you every minute of the day. Maybe the tunes I was singing today will find their way to you as a meme and you can get rich off them. I am going to bed.

reply to post by Idonthaveabeard


Gotcha!!
I understand what you are saying now and please don't take offense to my post as I do understand what you are going through.
You want to be great at your craft, say if you were a guitarist, you wou want to be mentioned when folks speak of hendrix, van halen, Idonnthaveabeard, Etc.
I have a craft myself and I am great at it in a small perspective.
However and it is a big however, I realize that on a worldwide scale there are many out there better than I am.
Practice,Practice,Practice, is all you can do.
In the end you still just may not be good enough, but that is ok.
Sometimes there is just always someone better than you at what you do.
Accept it and enjoy the fact that you can do what you do.

reply to post by Robonakka


Haha!!

Im scared of drugs tbh to take them, a couple of great sounding songs have came to me in dreams. The most recent I was dreaming and this song came on the radio and I loved it and was like man I wish I had came up with that song. I woke up and realised wow I can make that song, apart from I remembered everypart of the dream EXCEPT the damn song!!!

Edit: I do have a back up plan, I dont want to do this primarily for money, but I know money will come if I am good enough, I am naturally cautious with money however and have confidence in myself to be able to deal with that.

reply to post by Idonthaveabeard


Excuse me but I told you that you could be successful in the music industry but perhaps not in the manner in which you are seeking. I also mentioned that you are ignoring your real talents because perhaps your focus is too narrow.

Best of luck to you. I will exit this thread and line of thinking.

after your second post getting butthurt about the replies im kind of stumped on what your looking for. ill try anyway to give you advice from my experience.

nothing in life is ever a guarantee as you probably know, but trying to increase your odds you have a better chance. ive seen tons of bands do all the "right things" and still no one cares. theres the ones who seemed to do very little and go far. then theres the ones who busted ass and made great music and people noticed.

im sure people here will get the point that im telling you to compromise your ideals or "sell out" and im not exactly. im saying you have to play the game somewhat. you have to understand that music is more than just sound. its the vibe a band creates and people respond to it.heres a few things ive noticed in my experience.these may all be givens but here goes.

1. make good to decent music.you have to be good at your instruments. crappy performance from a nobody is not helping. also, a lot of bands played a more current style, not that they had to sound like the new hit band but they may have been on the cusp of a new forming sound or even taking something old and making it fresh. helping.

2. they had a look that fit the vibe they were trying to create. im not saying you have to wear a costume that you feel awkward in but you have to somehow look the part. its unfortunate that people wont always accept you for who you are but thats the sad fact. if two guys are trying out for a band and your skill level is the same and your both decent guys, the one who looks the part is probably getting the job. i also hate to say it but you have to be age appropriate to the style you play. a youth movement has no place for an aging guy/girl. this is all very sad but true.

3. exposure. dont just play local shows. travel. try to get a lot of shows. tour. yes i know, a lot will suck but this is where my next point comes in..

4. make friends! surround your self with creative people. check your local scene. i cant count how many times crap bands have gotten good shows because they knew someone or their brother put on big shows.to tie in number 3, touring and traveling is just going to increase your odds of meeting people who can help you out. some people will hook you up and maybe take you on tour. you may meet a manager, promoter, etc.


these are just a few things that MAY help but is no guarantee. but in all that just have fun! at the end of it all youll have made a bunch of music you enjoy, had fun performing, traveled, made a bunch of friends and tons of memories. i know for myself, i feel like ive lived at least a little richer life from all ive done. and im not fully done with music either.

good luck and i hope i hit some kind of mark with what your looking for.

Originally posted by cry93
reply to post by Idonthaveabeard

 

Excuse me but I told you that you could be successful in the music industry but perhaps not in the manner in which you are seeking. I also mentioned that you are ignoring your real talents because perhaps your focus is too narrow.

Best of luck to you. I will exit this thread and line of thinking.

this is very true. ive had friends who realized they were better at recording and producing. plus they can actually make a living doing it. ive also seen people become session musicians too understand that sitting back still affords them the ability to be involved without all the pressure of "trying to make it big"

Hey sKillet thanks, what you said about the vibe of the music. Ive always noticed that what seems to separate avaerage hits from the big ones, is that the big ones seem to have an atmosphere about them that creates itself in your head everytime you listen to it. Im not quite sure how that happens, I think maybe its the vibe in the studio whn the song is created.

As for touring, id probably say that apart from doing the local shows, relying to much on internet exposure has been one of my downfalls.

Boy are you in the wrong forum. So many replies here are so ridiculous. If you ain't in the music business, you generally don't have a clue how it works.

Like the guy who said that maybe you don't have the talent???? I'm still laughing at that one! 99.9% of "artists" on major labels don't have the talent to be there. The major industry doesn't care one iota about talent. It's all about how much you'll sell, how much bs you can garner and how many men and women will want to sleep with you and how much you want to throw away your own dreams to follow their mold. This forum is much too short to allow me to go on about this.

Writing a good song comes from deep within and you have to spend a lot of time on it? Ask John Wetton who wrote "Heat of the Moment" (Asia: a classic that sold millions and is still played 30 years later) in a few minutes. There are tons of examples like this.

Go to a music site where you will find other musicians who are or have been exactly in your situation, you'll get great advice on how to shake it off. I'll recommend GuitarNoise (www.guitanoise.com) as a starting point. It's all free, but go to other music sites as well.

Cheer up; what you're going through is nothing new or unique. So many have gone through it. And a lot of artists don't make it until they are 40 or 50.

One quick piece of advice: if you quit you'll die. That simple. You'll die inside at first and your life will take a really bad turn. If you stay away, the rest will follow.

Originally posted by Idonthaveabeard

Originally posted by cry93
I know you said you didn't want people to tell you to give up. However, my message in a sense is to let go of these delusions that you have concerning being an entertainer. Well, sort of.

Perhaps you have some other talents or skills that you are neglecting for the sake of rock star fame? And your inability to produce is because you are attempting to star in another person's script?

I know Em is far from broke but when did he last perform a real hit? I believe you are simply trying to be something that you are not. The drive to be a success is there but you are idolizing a role that isn't your own.

HTH

Ok I get what your saying and ive thought about it myself, is it ACTUALLY what I want to do or just what I THINK I want to do. But it never goes out of my mind, and if I see a show on TV those same feelings come rising back inside me, its been on my mind for to long for it to be wrong. Ive put hours and hours and hours of work into it and never once thought of giving up. In my opinion, someone who didnt really have the passion for it would have dropped it long ago.

Don't you mean years and years and years? 'Cause success can take that, and even then, sometimes the stars don't align.

reply to post by Idonthaveabeard


Buddy, I'm a poker player because I love it. I've played many MANY hands of poker and aspire to be the best! just like you and music. And let me tell you one thing I've come to learn and hopefully it helps because your inspiration and ambition should never traded for mediocrity!

I can play (and profit) for days at a time. But then a week or so can go by where I just can't seem to "wrap my head around it". Sometimes these "ruts" can last a month or so! And that becomes even more frustrating because I want to do what I love anmd be GOOD at it. So I go back to the table, Ill prepared. And lose my pants off once again. I've come to learn through my experiences in life and my religeous/spiritual beliefs (31 yr old buddhist) that these "up's and downs" are not only unavoidable, but necessary to your success. For example.. If you try to apply yourself to your music when your heads not in it, your going to get crap. Just like my results in poker. But those times where you write crap are absolutley going to be the same motivator to force yourself to do better.
So, In a nutshell I say this, Buddy, Those times when your in a low point need to be looked at as a necessary part of your creative process. Don't look at it as an obstacle, but necessary for the creative process. You WILL fail in acheiveing your creative goals in those times. But they must be looked upon humbly, so you can try better next time. And when your on an "upswing" again, your best will be even BETTER! That I promise you! You cannot change this process. It exists universally for all things. Life goes up, life comes down. Get in touch with your own personal "process" and use it to your advantage.

There is no pleasure without pain, there is no greatness without massive failure! You're on the right track and are taking notice to the things you need to in order to be great! you just are looking at it in the wrong way.

And remember buddy, If you expose yourself to the youtubers or though some other kind of media. All those people that tell you that you suck will be the motivator to do better. They are neccessary to the process. And in reality, come on, anyone who trashes you when you try to aspire to something, they're the ones with a lot of self hatred, tormented beings who are stuck in their own circle of failure. It takes a special kind of loser to # on people who try to aspire to great things. It really does!

All talented people are constantly tormented by what you describe. No matter how successful. Never forget that...

Take the down times in stride and keep going.......Never, never stop going.....

Take care, Bud...

I think you have to love music so much that the fulfillment is in writing and playing the song and screw if anybody else likes it. Just do that and leave the rest up to fate. Let the chips fall. All these big rock stars really just loved music and would have played whether or not anybody ever came to hear them. In the meantime you could play small venues. It seems to me you are not completely driven by love of music.

Originally posted by Idonthaveabeard
Wow ok, didnt think so many people would get the wrong end of the stick...

You think I want to use music just as a vehicle to get fame?

Completely wrong, not once in the OP did I mention fame, its about what my passion is and about becoming great in that field. And about the achievement, dont give me all this crap about me just wanting 15 minutes of fame or whatever. And stop telling me 'You have to work at it bla bla bla'. Yeaa like I dont know that, like I havent been doing that for the past 5-6 years of my life, every night without fail. I work, finsih, then music for the next 5 hours. I dropped out of university course and took up a music degree. I know what woprk needs to be done so please dont patronise me. You completely missed the point, you can laugh at me all you want thinking im just some delusional kid who hasnt got a clue about life or whatever, do what you want. But I KNOW what I want, im just struggling to get there and I asked for help...


What do you mean by 'acheivement?' You wrote a good song. That's your acheivement. Stop being so superficial. Really. If you can't continue with your music because you're not getting other things out of it, maybe you are conflicted in some way you don't realize. Maybe you should get counseling.

Originally posted by Idonthaveabeard
Ok lets just get straight to it, I have always had burning ambition to be a somebody, ever since I can remember since I was 10 maybe. And I mean super strong burning cant get it out of my head ambition. I have always felt it in me that I can and WILL be (achieve) much more than the average person, I have never willingly settled for 2nd best and I always want the absolute best for myself, to the point where it gets me down at times.



When I was 16 I went to see Eminem live, and was overawed at the amount of people who had payed to see this guy do his stuff, I had always liked music since I was a kid, I would listen to my mums music lol stuff like status quo and bon jovi etc, I was obsessed with it. But seeing my 1st major live performance took it to a new level. The emotion and excitement and just over all wow of the whole experience. The only thing that put a downer on it for me was that I was in the corwd and not the guy on the stage. Since then ive been put off going to a few shows because I hate just being another guy in the crowd, all I want to be is the guy on the stage.

We started performing and although never had any real following did a few local shows and were even a support act for a pretty big name american singer at a show he did in our area. I thought that this was it, was just going to be up and up from there. But in fact it has been nothing but down, at 1st I struggled to make any songs that sounded any better than any other amatuer, but I told myself I had to keep trying, but I just seemed to dig the hole deeper and deeper. Now I cant even bring myself to try anymore.

I went through the years of putting everything I had into a song only for nobody to really care, but all unheard of artists go through this and it didnt bother me because I could just sit down and get another song going and that would keep me going, every new song I was doing was slightly better. But now everything I do just sounds uninspired and boring aqnd I KNOW its more of a metal thing than anything else.

Its in my make up ive learnt, that I have to have a feeling of progression, something to build on and something to hold on to. But now that hasnt happened in so long im just so down in the dumps. But thats where it gets crazy, I sit behind my computer all night long just doing nothing. BUT theres nothing more id like to do than just go to work for hours on a song I just cant bring myself to do it.

Im a believer in the law of attraction and I know that you can only achieve your dreams if you work and work at it, I know all that but I just cant seem to do it, like I said I even WANT to do it, I just cant. I dont know what the problem is, all I know is its getting me more and more down as each day/week/month goes by.

Some of you might say I need to lower my ambitions or whatever, but I say hell no to that. I know deep down inside what I CAN be, that voice/feeling has never gone away. And no way will I settle for 'its ok I guess' for anything, not even just to please myself.

I just need to know how I can get back on that road again, it MUST be a mental thing, im scared of failure maybe, I dunno. BAsically I know what I have to do, I just dont know how to.


If you read it all then thanks! Any thoughts appreciated!

edit on 8/4/2012 by benevolent tyrant because: to correct spelling and punctuation in thread title ( from Ok to OK ) (from heres to here's)

Get a grip of yourself freind an climb down from this self inflicted ego trip ..Fame fortune are not what you think ..The music / show buisness is the most cut throat back stabbing industry on the planet..You sound like someone whom has no confidence in your self an are desperate for apreasiation an justifi ation from others ie strangers....How can you expect others to love an apreasiate you if you dont care for your self.....All that should concern you is those close to you .Family an loved ones In life what is for you wont pass you by .An whats not meant to be wont happen..My GREAT GREAT Grand Father was just a normal bloke loved by his family an freinds an had no desire for fame or fortune.He never got fortune but did acheive an element of fame an went down in Medical History as a unwilling unknowing ,founder of a cure for trench foot dureing WW I....Hundreds of thousands of men had legs amputated due to trench foot an necrossis of the flesh...Men suffwering from this condition were ordered bed rest....This was before penicillin ect...My Grandfather however recovered from severe trenchfoot an kept both his legs..Puzzled the doctors wanted to know what he had done differnt to others whom lost limbs..He explaines that he was to emmbarresed to use a bed pan plus he liked a sly smoke..So three or four times a day he struccled up an out side the ward to use the toilet an have a sly smoke ..This was the difference .Exercise an getting blood flowing through the infected areas saved his les,,An the

the medical books were written to include therapy of massage an exercise to get blood flowing through the infected areas.........You may never acheive your ambition of fame but dont let it dictate your life .Perhaps your not that good ,,Or maybe you are but luck plays a huge part in getting reconised in show buisness,,,Song writters can make a good liveing an maybe even untold riches ...Copy Write your songs an send a sample of your wory to producers or maybe even the artists if you have a contact....But please live an enjoy life now your health is more impotant that wealth An the love of one person close to you is more important than the faux love of a milllion people you will never meet.....Hope every thing works out for you....