OK, here's my problem (major), any advice/solutions?

Ok lets just get straight to it, I have always had burning ambition to be a somebody, ever since I can remember since I was 10 maybe. And I mean super strong burning cant get it out of my head ambition. I have always felt it in me that I can and WILL be (achieve) much more than the average person, I have never willingly settled for 2nd best and I always want the absolute best for myself, to the point where it gets me down at times.



When I was 16 I went to see Eminem live, and was overawed at the amount of people who had payed to see this guy do his stuff, I had always liked music since I was a kid, I would listen to my mums music lol stuff like status quo and bon jovi etc, I was obsessed with it. But seeing my 1st major live performance took it to a new level. The emotion and excitement and just over all wow of the whole experience. The only thing that put a downer on it for me was that I was in the corwd and not the guy on the stage. Since then ive been put off going to a few shows because I hate just being another guy in the crowd, all I want to be is the guy on the stage.

We started performing and although never had any real following did a few local shows and were even a support act for a pretty big name american singer at a show he did in our area. I thought that this was it, was just going to be up and up from there. But in fact it has been nothing but down, at 1st I struggled to make any songs that sounded any better than any other amatuer, but I told myself I had to keep trying, but I just seemed to dig the hole deeper and deeper. Now I cant even bring myself to try anymore.

I went through the years of putting everything I had into a song only for nobody to really care, but all unheard of artists go through this and it didnt bother me because I could just sit down and get another song going and that would keep me going, every new song I was doing was slightly better. But now everything I do just sounds uninspired and boring aqnd I KNOW its more of a metal thing than anything else.

Its in my make up ive learnt, that I have to have a feeling of progression, something to build on and something to hold on to. But now that hasnt happened in so long im just so down in the dumps. But thats where it gets crazy, I sit behind my computer all night long just doing nothing. BUT theres nothing more id like to do than just go to work for hours on a song I just cant bring myself to do it.

Im a believer in the law of attraction and I know that you can only achieve your dreams if you work and work at it, I know all that but I just cant seem to do it, like I said I even WANT to do it, I just cant. I dont know what the problem is, all I know is its getting me more and more down as each day/week/month goes by.

Some of you might say I need to lower my ambitions or whatever, but I say hell no to that. I know deep down inside what I CAN be, that voice/feeling has never gone away. And no way will I settle for 'its ok I guess' for anything, not even just to please myself.

I just need to know how I can get back on that road again, it MUST be a mental thing, im scared of failure maybe, I dunno. BAsically I know what I have to do, I just dont know how to.


If you read it all then thanks! Any thoughts appreciated!

I know you said you didn't want people to tell you to give up. However, my message in a sense is to let go of these delusions that you have concerning being an entertainer. Well, sort of.

Perhaps you have some other talents or skills that you are neglecting for the sake of rock star fame? And your inability to produce is because you are attempting to star in another person's script?

I know Em is far from broke but when did he last perform a real hit? I believe you are simply trying to be something that you are not. The drive to be a success is there but you are idolizing a role that isn't your own.

HTH

Just keep trying hard, seek advice, seek guidance, train, train train, believe in yourself, and most of all train hard and try new ways to do stuff and of course learn from people that know how to do what you want to do.

uninspired

reply to post by Idonthaveabeard


Grow a beard.
Explore all types of music.
Revolution music will be of great need in the future.

What you need is a change in environment maybe? If you have the resources, travel a bit and find that inspiration abroad. Who knows, you just may find it?

Look. Chill. Chill some more. Then get super chilled. Then relax, try to enjoy your life, put yourself in new situations, have new experiences. For me, as a musician, inspiration comes from joy of life and new experience.

Therefore I always strive to push the boat out and learn and love. Find yourself. Find Happiness.

Then the inspiration will pour out of you faster than you can compose it!

Just don't focus on 'making it'.. that's a sure way to set yourself up for failure. You have to make music out of enjoyment.. for the sake of music. Not fame or money.

Hopefully my advice helped a little

Originally posted by cry93
I know you said you didn't want people to tell you to give up. However, my message in a sense is to let go of these delusions that you have concerning being an entertainer. Well, sort of.

Perhaps you have some other talents or skills that you are neglecting for the sake of rock star fame? And your inability to produce is because you are attempting to star in another person's script?

I know Em is far from broke but when did he last perform a real hit? I believe you are simply trying to be something that you are not. The drive to be a success is there but you are idolizing a role that isn't your own.

HTH

Ok I get what your saying and ive thought about it myself, is it ACTUALLY what I want to do or just what I THINK I want to do. But it never goes out of my mind, and if I see a show on TV those same feelings come rising back inside me, its been on my mind for to long for it to be wrong. Ive put hours and hours and hours of work into it and never once thought of giving up. In my opinion, someone who didnt really have the passion for it would have dropped it long ago.

reply to post by Idonthaveabeard

Grow a beard. Then people will pay attention to you.

[color=999999]If you grow it, they will listen.







[color=717171]ok, now I'll try being serious:

Obviously, there are many factors, that go into the creation of a 'better than average' song. I'm sure many hits have been created, because of the need to write a hit song, but probably not most of the exceptional songs.

The best songs have to come from deep within. Sitting at a computer, with that urge to just hurry up and do it, is most likely going to make it harder to find.



To be clear, I'm talking about actual good songs, not 'hit pop songs'. You know, the type of song that grows on you, and grows on you. The more you listen to it, the better it gets. The songs you will still love in 20 years.

A catchy new pop tune on the radio, may sound good the first time you hear it, but by about the 5th time hearing it, you realize how bad it sucks, and hope to never hear it again.

reply to post by Idonthaveabeard


Firstly you already are a somebody , don't put yourself down.
Musical fame is fickle and a great degree of luck , networking and artistic compromise is required.
It sounds like you crave the fame and adoration more than a will to be a great musician / songwriter.

Ok, this may sound harsh, but it's meant to make you think. Maybe, just maybe, you're just not that good.
There are artists all over the world that put in the hours of practice, gigs at the local bar, paying their dues and still don't hit the top. Like I said, not meaning any disrespect, just a thought. Can you set up a video or song for us? I, for one, would like to see it.

reply to post by Idonthaveabeard


You sound a bit like me. My thing isn't music though. If you are as much like me as you sound, I think you're scared of failure. I'm scared that if I pour everything I have into taking that big step and it falls through, I'm going to be massively disappointed, mad at myself, depressed, a failure, blah blah blah. I guess getting past this is the next step that needs to be taken, but I haven't quite figured out how to do that yet.

If it helps any, I know a local band that has performed locally for twenty years or more. They were always good and they really put themselves out there for a long time. They FINALLY got their big break this year and signed a recording contract. I'm sure they felt like it would never happen but they persevered and they made it! Well, they made it this far anyway. I'm sure fame and fortune is the next step they'll attempt to take.

Now, I know you don't want to hear this, but it's something you need to think about. Are you positive you want to be famous? I know life seems to be glamorous when you're on the outside looking in but those people basically lose their freedom. If you think you're ok with that, fine. I'm not one to tell you what you DON'T want because I'm not you and I don't see life through your eyes. It's just something to think about.

I say just keep up the local stuff. Do things that inspire you. Or perhaps it's better to do things that inspire your music. I'm not sure what kind of music you're doing but if you can realistically put yourself in a situation that you would write a song about, that might help to get the creativity flowing again. Unless you make music about shooting cops and stuff like that then I wouldn't recommend getting in that situation, lol! But you know what I mean.

If you need something to be proud of, be proud of the fact that you haven't given up. I'm sure every famous person out there had many many letdowns before they made it big.

reply to post by Idonthaveabeard



Again, I don't doubt that you have the drive to be a success. I do believe that you have narrow definitions and parameters for success. That could be your mistake.

I'm not even saying you couldn't be successful in the music industry. It is my opinion that you are attempting to cherry pick HOW and WHERE you are successful. In other words you aren't fully respecting your abilities. All of them.

You are too hard on yourself because you have painted yourself into a corner. Expand.

reply to post by Idonthaveabeard


A couple things that come to mind, in my opinion. You seem to know yourself well, so congrats! That's an awesome thing to have in life. Second, if you're going to perform and share yourself you also need to think of your audience and how you come across. That song you wrote where you poured your soul into it - I imagine those don't always bring huge attention; that's YOUR story, and others may not be so moved by it (until you're famous )

This next thing might seem odd but check out your astrology chart (I use Astro.com for free charts). I'm a Psychologist but use Astrology frequently - it can be quite accurate and help with insightful questions. For example maybe you're a Leo, or have Venus in Leo which leads to your love of the stage... worth a look.

Every musician has had writers block at one time or another. The more you worry about it the longer it will last. Maybe a little meditation will help clear the blocks. You say people don't like your songs maybe you should try a different style of music. Look at Stevie Ray Vaughn he used to get booed off stage but he finally found the right sound then his career took off.

Let's break this problem down:

I would listen to my mums music lol stuff like status quo and bon jovi etc,

Status Quo and Jon Bumm Gravy? You are beyond redemption, my son. May God have mercy on your soul.

Since then ive been put off going to a few shows because I hate just being another guy in the crowd, all I want to be is the guy on the stage.

When you fight battles and constantly strive for 1st place, there will be times when you come off 2nd best. Nobody reaches the number 1 spot without experiencing a few defeats. They win because they keep fighting.

We started performing and although never had any real following did a few local shows and were even a support act for a pretty big name american singer at a show he did in our area. I thought that this was it, was just going to be up and up from there. But in fact it has been nothing but down, at 1st I struggled to make any songs that sounded any better than any other amatuer, but I told myself I had to keep trying, but I just seemed to dig the hole deeper and deeper.

You hit the top of your game, a point where you need to perfect your skill through repetition in order to progress to the next stage. Progress will happen when you start going through the motions and everything becomes intuitive. In the martial arts, practitioners invariably reach a long period where it appears they aren't progressing.

I went through the years of putting everything I had into a song only for nobody to really care, but all unheard of artists go through this and it didnt bother me because I could just sit down and get another song going and that would keep me going, every new song I was doing was slightly better. But now everything I do just sounds uninspired and boring aqnd I KNOW its more of a metal thing than anything else.

Yes, it's a metal thing. I've seen numerous bands come and go, and remember the days when Limp Bizkit and Cradle of Filth were underground. Even getting into underground mags like Terrorizer was a success for them in the early days. You must aim for that - find an underground mag and send them a demo tape. The mainstream publications do keep an eye on this.

But thats where it gets crazy, I sit behind my computer all night long just doing nothing. BUT theres nothing more id like to do than just go to work for hours on a song I just cant bring myself to do it.
Im a believer in the law of attraction and I know that you can only achieve your dreams if you work and work at it, I know all that but I just cant seem to do it, like I said I even WANT to do it, I just cant. I dont know what the problem is, all I know is its getting me more and more down as each day/week/month goes by.

You're right. That's not going to get you anywhere. Force yourself to work on a song, and get yourself back into the habit/routine. You see, it's NOT just a mental thing - you must WORK at it monastically and obsessively in order to succeed.
ETA: The 'Law of Attraction' is BS. Without the motivation and effort, it's about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

reply to post by Idonthaveabeard
Really? your idea of "being somebody" is to be a rock star?!?!
you are the epitome of what is wrong with your generation.

I am somebody.
A son
A husband
A father
A person who has made other's lives better. (this and being a father are the two best!)
and at the moment souding a bit too grandious for my own liking

Being real is the best thing you can be. Fulfill your place on this planet and make a real difference!

Peace and love to you.

Originally posted by Idonthaveabeard
Im a believer in the law of attraction and I know that you can only achieve your dreams if you work and work at it, I know all that but I just cant seem to do it, like I said I even WANT to do it, I just cant. I dont know what the problem is.

Unfortunately, the problem is that that belief is false.
I know for a fact that I will never win an Olympic medal. This is because I've stopped with sports many years ago and I'm far too old to take anything like that up and be even locally successful in it.
Now that I think of it, maybe something like Skeet might actually be possible. I was first going to say Pistol or Archery, but I remembered that I'm a bit of a shaker, so that won't do.
However, I have no ambition in taking up Skeet, either.

See what I did there? I ruled myself out of a lot of things quickly. I wouldn't MIND winning the Olympic Gold, I just know I can't. I even gave a little opening to a Skeet medal, but pure "wanting" it won't cut it.

So, on to your problems:
There's two main branches really:
1. You don't have the talent/voice for it.
2. You do have the talent/voice for it.

If it is #1, you are definitely screwed, unless you become a product of some greater powers who think you look hot with a long blonde wig and implants. And that you agree to this. Reading your post, you just might.

If it is #2, it does not mean you will be big. In fact, due to #1, there's mostly nonsense being produced today since "music" is more about entertainment than actual music.
So, if you are a musician and really love it, it usually means doing small gigs in small places merely because you love it, and your small audience is there merely because they love the music.
Most of the new "big" stuff from "new" are huge produced shows that has the intention of topping the previous show, the quality of the actual artist doesn't matter, as long as there's plenty of dancers on stage.

Merely wanting it gives you another problem. Music usually suffers from just that. People who really love their music and create it because they love it have a big advantage. If you're trying to poop out a hit chances are slim, unless you've found a formula that people swallow over and over again (I could mention a few producers).
But remember, a good song doesn't mean much in this day and age.

Finally, I wouldn't mind listening to something of you and tell you truthfully what I think. I would be talking about your voice, the potential, talent as well as the actual song[s] at hand. If you dare.

You need a slap in the face. You can't sit in front of the computer thinking about this. You need to learn/realize what you can and can't do, and start working on the things you can or could do.

A caveat to my earlier post: 'Success' is not actually success if it's handed to you on a plate. Real success lies at the end of a long hard road.

May I ask how long you've been playing out, your age, your type of music? Do you play an instrument and or sing? Do you have a sample of your music that you can share with us?

If you're good at it and it's truly what you want to do - do it. Please don't listen to people who think you're delusional for wanting to be great, you aren't. One thing to be aware of is to lessen your attitude of needing to be better, that's your problem. You're identifying too much with your work - you're unable to improve upon your work or even get started because each time you try to get started you are reminded of what you think are failures. Because you have identified yourself with the work so much you are then losing the confidence in yourself to get done what you want to get done. I, too, have always known that I was going to do great things and be a big deal - unfortunately you don't get anywhere by focusing on that. Whether you are destined for greatness or not, you won't get there if you don't put your nose to the grindstone and get it done. Here's my advice for you:

1. Stop identifying with your work. You, as you are, should be proud of what you have done and who you are before doing anything. Without belief in yourself, no one else will believe in you. Your work needs to be looked at objectively - not only will this help you separate from your work but it will help you to judge it more accurately.

2. Take a purposeful break. Life is an ebb and flow experience - you will have times of massive growth and then you will have times of drawbacks. 1 foot forward, two steps back. This is nature - but the objective is to make the ebb phase last a shorter amount of time than the flow period. Instead of feeling lazy or uninspired and therefore upset with yourself, take a purposeful break from your work.

- - To do this you should think of 2-3 other activities you can do instead that will be both enjoyable and beneficial to your work. For instance, a great basis for writing eloquent songs could be studying the songs other people have wrote as well as poetry - learn your craft. Dedicate to enjoying your specialty of choice - swamping yourself down with obsession will only go to hurt you later(even if you make it).

3. Seek advice from people in your area of interest. Do your best to find information from your favorite artists(either quoted or, if possible, ask them yourself). There is nothing like someone else showing you how there are ups and downs. Remember that it's very common for the best and most successful groups and artists to be rejected at first, even booed out of venues before they hit it big. You must be a student of life and a student of the game - obsession will only drive you mad, turn it into dedication.

I really hope you get out of this rut and make it big! Good luck