Does life seem surreal to you too?

Originally posted by abeverage
Of course they also say this is an early symptom of schizophrenia, I just happend to think it is depression caused by a dismal state of the world. And I think a lot of people don't want to face it because of denial.

That said, planting a Garden and being with Family and friends helped me, might help you too I hope.

Schizophrenia does not run in my family. Two other 'issues' do, and I've dealt with both of them.

This is a fairly new happening for me. It was pretty obvious to me yesterday. Today, it's kind of at bay. I can choose to have it surface, or I can try to push the thoughts out of my mind. I tried quickly to turn it on and off earlier, and for moments it's possible to do that. It kind of lingers after I've taken a few seconds to bring it into focus. That might be a bad thing to do. Who knows whether it might stay around longer if I keep "practicing" viewing the world around me this way. It happened on its own, though.

The feeling is pronounced in part due to my friends and family! They're like most people. It has taken some time for me to get to the point that I feel my conversations with them mean less to me, but I have admitted that now. It makes me feel bad to kind of "leave the party" and view them differently. I am changing though. They are resisting change. I don't see how they can go on for as long as they have (they're all at least as many years as I am) without asking questions.

I wonder if the number of friends people have affects how grounded they are to society. People with a lot of friends are more likely to continue to carry on like nothing is really happening, because the rest of their friends are there, who expect them to stay the same and be consistent. They would not change drastically because they feel their friends might not accept them anymore, maybe. (A very realistic expectation, if you ask me.) I have looked into group dynamics and groupthink. These can both explain a lot about why people develop 'herd mentality' and act like everyone else around them. Worth a look if you've never looked into those topics.

They say depersonalization and derealization often happen together because if someone views one as unreal, it is easy to 'lose' the other one. I still feel I 'know' who I am. I feel more secure in that than ever, and I think that is why I have come to see myself, even moreso than I used to, as someone who doesn't belong here. Growing up, it was a vague feeling that I couldn't pinpoint. Now, I think I've finally gotten to the point that I'm aware of some reasons why I feel that way. Maybe the reasons have changed over the years though.

Pretty sad in a way that I have few friends (but I always have), but I feel I have a social network here. Not all the time in every thread of course, but I relate to many of the posts here, and the frustration that people often display, or the wondering. So, I'm glad to have this as a social platform. I also have some real life acquaintances I see on a regular basis. Running buddies. So, I have a few options.

The LAST comment says it all! "Surreal"? Is that the same as: "WTF"?

Originally posted by dr treg
gratitude+acceptance+trust+honesty = connectivity

self-pity+resentment+fear+dishonesty = disconnectivity

How much gratitude is healthy? Too much puts us in a state of delusion where we choose to see mostly what makes us feel good. Acceptance sounds like "let the world stay that way." Trust? I might trust some people, but I think I have good reasons not to trust that everything will be okay if I just sit tight. Honesty is great. That is what I believe I'm trying to be. If I add anymore acceptance and trust into my mix, I might end up like everyone else. I will not be another 'drone-like' person.

How long can fear be pushed aside before it becomes undeniably something so huge, we cannot even fathom to look at it? I think I came out into the world with this idea that most people push around, that I could get far. Then, I realize the power structure in the world, and that it's a rat race that favors the rich and mega corporations. I then realized I would delve into the "workings of the world" even if it bothered me. I wanted to know why the world was the way it was. It took years, but I'm pretty sure I have a rough idea.

I think in order to see the world for what it is, it is bothersome. I don't believe we should pity ourselves or allow fear or resentment to fester, but I think it's okay to feel lousy sometimes when we think of the state of the world.

reply to post by daynight42


I have felt exactly like that, like a "fish out of the water" since I can remember ( I'll be 50 this year...) I remember being 4 or 5 years old, I used to tell people, parents, teachers, about "my theory" that existence was only a "dream" and "illusion" and that nothing was "real" everything existed, only because realty existed in our minds ( 5 years old !!) I listen to Tom Cambell's conversations today and I identify those ideas in my early childhood... I remember at seven, I used to think, "daydreaming", about alternate universes, and remember very well having long sessions of introspective thinking, seeing the Universe as a Fractal, micro-macro cosmos, etc.... and every time I mentioned any of those ideas to someone I was made fun of... so obviously very young, I learned to keep my mouth shot, only to find out, almost 50 years later, that those ideas were true....... unfortunately back then and for most of my adult life, I had to try and learn to "conform" to what "being normal" means to family and society.... I always did great in school, and also I had a "successful" career in Music Business, but I had to learn with a lot of difficulty how to be around people, and talking about things that really I DIDN'T CARE AT ALL !!! just to be "normal"..... for many years i had to rely on drug use, just so I could "belong" to society, just so I could maintain conversations about trivial things that always sounded to me more like a "foreign" language than anything else, but my mind was ALWAYS someplace else, and even though I never felt I was being authentic i made the big effort to try and "belong". My family learned to accept me as I am, but it has been rather difficult.
No complaints, though...it is My experience so i take it with gratefulness because it has brought me beautiful lessons and an amazing growth. I have NEVER opened about this to anybody, but I feel this ATS thread inviting.
so there you go, my experience is shared.

Love to all !!

PS:
English is not my first language, hence the grammar, sorry...


Cheers,

J

Originally posted by canadiansenior70
Like where do I belong? Why does it feel that I might even be invisible?

I can really hear the despair in your post.

Mostly what I would like to say is...try to see the 'strangers' here online as your friends. In terms of having something in common with them, some people here are as good a friend as any, even if we've never met them in person. We are sort of joined by our similar points of view on matters, and this is a community in some ways. Each thread can join people together and make them feel like there are others out there like them.

I know it's tough to look around you at the 'real world' and see people jolly and having fun. I have even tried 'being someone else' and joining them. It was a strain. On one hand, there was a small sense of belonging and acceptance by just being around them. On the other, it was a joke to me because I knew it meant nothing to me. Here online, I can find people I really relate to. That's better than any real world nightly outing can offer.

I will shed some light on this topic

This is an easy exercise but some will not be able to do it.

Those who can do this will know exactly what i'm talking about whereas others that cant do this will just be like "wtf...is he talking about"

You can stare at objects at different angles with different glares from your sight into your mind to manipulate objects appearance and textural physicality.

The better you get at these exercises and learn how much you can manipulate objects with your mind alone you begin to realize that this planet we live on and what surrounds us is really just made up of illusions, what appears to be three dimensional objects can be anything you want most people just choose to make it what it is.

Now that I've thoroughly confused you....I'm out

I had the same feeling, like your mind is there, but your body is not, or vice versa, and everything seems out of place, like it isn't real.

Turned out it was derealisation due to anxiety, and it was usually followed by an anxiety/panic attack (feeling like I couldn't breath, or each breath wasn't doing anything, feeling like I was about to die etc etc.)

I still to this day do not know what caused it, I'm generally laid back and don't let things bother me. After the first one it happened almost everyday for months, now maybe once every three months.

Pay no attention to the site itself. Just read the story and ponder my friend.

The Egg

I'll let you know once I'm done feeling this way myself. Ever since a few months ago when I had a mishap, I've felt this way. I was extremely depressed about my grandfather's passing and so took down half a bottle of heavy heavy liquor myself and I'm sure almost died and felt that everything was just... Surreal.. Like I was on a different plane of existance and that none of this was real, none of it. I just felt as if I was floating around and I couldn't really hear others around me but somehow still communicated with them. It was very very odd. I could access just plain memories and while envisioning them in my mind it was like I was really there living through them again going through the motions.


Since then, I've been looking around wondering just how much of this we perceive is real. I also look at modern civilization and look at people living the same lives every single day and the same roles and wondering whenever everyone is going to just put down their script, the set goes down, and we move on and stop the act. We've all created this false world. We get up, we go to work, we eat, we sleep, and we die. It's all just a vicious cycle. We are no closer to accomplishing anything now for the betterment of the world than we were a century ago. Just for ourselves. We could be inventing great great things, but it's like we're stuck in a maze or a hamster wheel. Running and running the same path to no avail and no spiritual evolution.

To the OP...

You mean what I see is not real? SAY IT AIN'T SO! *laugh*

I feel you and feel all is surreal at times too. Heck, I have had dreams that seemed more real than while awake to the point of feeling left behind I wanted to return to the dream so bad because it seemed so real.

Lucid dreams are amazing in that, I can actually manipulate them knowing I am in a dream. Maybe our consciousness is collapsing with our sub-conscious?

Something is coming soon and what ever it may be will be Earth Changing IMO.

reply to post by InternetGremlin


That post just made me wonder if we're all just not asleep and dreaming waiting to be awoken.
Second line.

Originally posted by daynight42
Today, driving around, I felt that life has taken on such a surreal nature to me. It's as if I am wandering around aimlessly, and that nothing matters. Things happen, but they happen just to happen. I look around me, and it's as if I'm part of a dream that is very life like but that I cannot wake up from. I look around me at people just going about their lives, and I wonder how they do it. They don't seem the least bit bothered by what is going on in the world. It's really as if I'm almost living a completely different life than they are, in another world. Yet, I see them, and they see me. I feel like a foreigner even though I can remember being here for as long as I can remember. This existence has taken an artificial quality. It's like nothing really matters to me, because nothing (important) seems to matter to anyone else, except trivial crap. I feel like I'm paralyzed and can't move, but the people around me are moving and carrying on; they notice me, but nobody notices that I'm not moving. It is a very odd feeling. It's like I do not belong here.

It reminds me of nihilism of some kind. The things that are so important to me and to our advancement as a species are ignored by most people. It's like I realize this now, and I have given up on the world around me. People have traded reality and a quest for progress, for entertainment and shallow pleasantries. It really bothers me, but there's nothing I can do to change the people around me. (I have tried.)

The way that I have found to cope with this is really to isolate myself from most people to keep away from the harsh reality of it all, but I can't do that enough, it seems. I feel wrong, at times to judge others, but I know these same people would judge me in the same way on certain issues if I were to share them. I consider it my responsibility to judge the world, including the people in it, if I am to live here. Maybe that is my purpose, to sort of be the eyes and ears for something bigger that I don't know about. Or, maybe that's what I tell myself to accept the state of my world.

Is this maybe just some kind of growth phase that I'm going through? Has anyone felt the same, and did it pass or did it get better or worse for you? It seems I'm at a very confusing point in life, which is kind of okay if it teaches me something. I realize the people who feel they have the most answers are often the most lost. I'm just looking to see if anyone else has felt similar.

I feel the same way as OP in a lot of ways. Reality is crumbling before my very eyes, and I feel very strongly as if this isn't a product of an overactive imagination. But it's a personal experience and I'm not sure if anyone else feels it.

I remember first reading about McKenna's Timewave Zero a few years back, and I didn't understand it. But in June 2012 it makes much more sense. Our reality is changing so quickly now. To anyone willing to do research, 9/11, the Federal Reserve, fractional banking, the mainstream media, and first-world politics (as presented to the masses), UFOs and mainstream religions are all scams, all malevolent and all deliberately designed to put the human race on its knees.

When I started to realize these things, it didn't all happen at once. As we reach the end of June 2012, however, all of these things I mentioned fit together like pieces of a puzzle. It made me realize that humanity on this planet is being purposefully tortured, used, manipulated, enslaved, deceived by a power that has great control over and authority over the world's populace. Call it NWO, Illuminati, Freemasonry, Satanism, occultism, Zionsim, Rothschild empire. All are the same entity.

Being born in the USA, I grew up in the paradigm of the "American Dream"; graduate high school, then go to college or trade school and you'll be set for life. Major emphasis on the ideals of honesty, hard work, dedication and self-discipline. These were the attributes of an "American". Work hard, hard, hard, and you'll be rewarded.

This feel-good reality with a few challenges along the way was how the journey of life in the USA was presented.... up until 9/11/01. That's the moment I feel reality started to branch off into this "dream" state we're currently in.

In the last 11 years the face of the devil has begun to show itself. The faces on TV that we accepted into our everyday lives have shown their true colors. In the USA the single greatest, most worshiped attribute is ability to lie. The better you can lie, the more money you can make. Lying, cheating, stealing, scamming, hustling and deceiving are all rewarded in today's USA. The NWO entity commits an atrocity, lies to the media and the media distributes the lie, creating a culture of ridicule along the way for anyone that questions what the TV shows and says.

All of this change in our perceived paradigm has hit a point of critical mass, and some of us realize this.

I feel that those who post their own personal feelings, adventures, can be easier to relate to and understand, than if a blanket statement is made about “everybody is…” or the “whole world is…”

Because the OP began with “I was driving…” , that made me want to continue to read his entire post.

Because KillerQueen used the words “lonely and poignantt”, I realized suddenly that I was so alone sitting in the puddle of spilled soup to just stare at it and not react, like “I’m not really here seeing this.”

I find that sometimes when I think of my life, I cannot believe who planned this course. God or Satan, for lack of a better comparison. I made my choices, but why so many wrong ones, or was all this destiny?

43 years ago, I chose to go to a dance with this man. He was new to me and was only passing through town. However, my refusal to spend the night with him made him angry so he tromped on the gas and lost control of the car at 120 mph (1969) I ended up in a wheelchair. I died and returned momentarily (Thank you Chicken salad.)

After 40 years I was managing very well, except one day, 3 years ago, my car battery was dead, so I began wheeling to work. A car backed out its driveway and ran me down.

I know many of these things are not done on purpose. They are accidents, so who is choosing whom to pick on, on any given day! Wasn’t once enough for me? Who is winning, God or Satan? I’m still alive.

My family is dysfunctional enough that I have, in my mind, confined them all to the loony bin. A sister’s disability is not a reason to leave her out! We were raised by the same parents.

And what daughter tries to kill herself over the disability, calls our doctor, he calls me, I talk to her, and yes! It is my disability. I am not like other mothers.

She is now 48, with 3 children and all of them are strangers.

I try to accept the inevitable rather than yearn for the impossible.

I moved away from Ontario to British Columbia, in 1998, have a whole new set of acquaintances, and 2 very good friends… my therapist and my lawyer.

And I am still alive, still exploring, looking for answers while carefully eyeballing all traffic!

CS70

Originally posted by mr10k
That is love. That is what you feel when you found the right person. Not 'faith' and 'time to get to know one another'. Not because you 'have so much in common'. It is that specific feeling, that you would give up everything in the entire world to make this person happy. That is love, and that is the meaning of MY life. I need to find that person. I don't care what it takes, but that is what I strive to find. That person is somewhere on this rock. Just being next to person will bring me great Euphoria, and being away will cause me to cry at night for what seems to be no apparent reason.

I thought about saying earlier, that the one thing that could allow me to get along so much easier in life, would be to be in love with someone who accepted it, and maybe even loved me back. I don't have that, and I might not ever. My relationships are usually rocky to say the least, tenuous. I have difficulty feeling love toward others for some reason, maybe due to, well this isn't the place for that. But, yea, I think it would change my life to have someone I loved. Parents have that. I think that children give them something to live for. Anyhow, I think it would have to be a romantic partner, but I don't know how feasible that is for me. I do hope for the best in that area of my life, that I can compromise enough with at least one person to build a mutually satisfying partnership.

I use to think along these lines.
Then, my kids were born and I realized that I knew nothing.

It seems to me that whenever we altr our consciousness in one way or another, the feeling is compounded. I wonder if that really means anything or not?

reply to post by canadiansenior70


No problem, its a great story to ponder over. Even if you dont believe it or think its plausible, it allows you to look at others in a different light.The Egg

Originally posted by WickettheRabbit
Honest post.

I usually walk around (virtually anyway) with my nose held high believing that I'm better than the mass of people on ATS who are lonely losers stuck behind a computer dreaming of "unlocked potential", "higher dimensions", etc.

In this case, I feel this connection. It's like my life isn't in high definition anymore. Does that make sense to anyone else? It's like I'm seeing the world through some kind of filter. Like I'm seeing the world in third-person, but behind my own eyes. Think of first person shooter games. Even if your playing through the character's eyes, you're still only seeing what's on screen.

I don't know if I'm making sense.

I think you are. It's just the terminology is different. Yes, to me it can be compared to a video game too. It's like you're outside of yourself. Your head moves, but it doesn't feel like the same head as before; it's more like you're willing it to move, so it moves. There's a feeling of disconnection from the body that can be felt sometimes when we're in "this mode." I say "this mode" because for me, it can be increased or decreased.

I think it was something that I kind of always felt to a very small degree, but I never identified it. It's like it took time experiencing it more and more before I realized something was 'off.' Now I'm really in touch with it, and I feel out of touch with most people. I have my moments where I act more like they do in order to fit in, or I won't disagree in order to avoid conflict. A little bit of that doesn't bother me. Too much makes me feel like I'm living a lie.

Originally posted by Myomistress
It seems to me that whenever our consciousness in one way or another, the feeling is compounded. I wonder if that really means anything or not?

I wonder if my post about Quantum Physics and the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle could fit into 'why reality seems so surreal?'

Here:
www.abovetopsecret.com...

Maybe our collapsing universe is coming apart? Maybe our Galactic Line-up as predicted Dec 21 2012 Mayan calendar plays a role in "Vibrating" us into a higher realm is true? hehehe

We can shuffle out of 3rd density into 5th density and leave these wars famine chaos behind us. Let's hope something changes soon because anymore, I can feel the heartache of so much it is disturbing to me. I can not even watch Animal Cops without getting teary-eyed and then imagine the horrors taking place in areas like N. Korean Gulags or something is quite uncomfortable to imagine.

Gaia needs to shake us Earthlings off like a bad case of fleas. Anything short of benevolent Aliens or Divine Intervention is going to leave this planet as a steamy radioactive cesspool. It's no wonder 'Aliens" don't make clear contact. Any 'being' with half a brain would not want humans buzzing around the universe given our track record here.