Pentagon study shows that a beard makes you a better soldier!

“We took 100 soldiers. 25 were Special Forces qualified and had beards, 25 were Special Forces qualified without beards, 25 were regular Army allowed to grow beards for the study, and the last 25 were regular Army without beards.

All 100 of these subjects were in direct combat in Afghanistan during the study.” He continued, “Xegis Solutions had several teams of researchers embedded with these troops to make observations on their combat effectiveness. The results were overwhelming, out of the 50 soldiers with beards, zero were wounded or killed and they had a significantly higher accuracy of fire than the soldiers without beards. The soldiers lacking beards had a higher rate of weapons malfunctions and basically, **** went wrong most of the time.” CENTCOM wasted no time establishing a new rule forcing males to grow beards.

Could that just be coincidence? Or is it really something to do with having a beard. That study is rather conclusive, and the results is there for all to see.

CENTCOM wasted no time establishing a new rule forcing males to grow beards. Commander Gen. James E. Mattis issued a statement to all troops in combat zones. “The time has come for the Armed Forces to accept the facts, and the facts are that beards save lives.

All this time it was speculated that Green Berets were better because of their superior and intensive training while in fact, most of it had to do with beards.” There’s no doubt that many in the Special Forces community will be angered, but General Mattis is convinced. “It’s settled science. In light of this information we will enforce a rule requiring all males to wear at least one inch of facial hair at all times. Furthermore, any females able to grow facial hair are encouraged to do so as well.”

I have seen some of those epic Tier1 operator beards, and man, that beard alone is enough to at least hide a handgrenade, or some small weapon.

Interesting study though. Beards for the win!

Article

vvv

i believe the militray has known about this since Vietnam. About time...

reply to post by highfreq


Indeed mate.

There must be a reason for it though. Is it all in the mind, or does the beard give you an edge over a shaven soldier?

vvv

The US military needs to adopt the Eric Cartman method of beard augmentation. That would be in character for them. I have heard that the Pentagon is doing research into this method at a top secret facility in in Hawaii. They do a lot of bikini waxes in Hawaii.

Does that mean that the Taliban are right?

Maybe the Pentagon will reach the conclusion that soldiers that do not sing or dance are more effective...

This has been a theory for a long time and I believe the earliest account dates back to native americans with long hair in general. I can't remember where I read it but there was another study similar with those with long hair and how much more in tune they are with their surroundings. It had to do with native american trackers that were forced to cut their hair versus those that weren't and how much better at tracking the one's with long hair were.

reply to post by Vasa Croe


AAAh.

Then we might as well take the story further back.

Samson, who had all his power when he had long hair, yet lost it when it was cut.

Look at the all the statues of the greek gods, always big beards, long hair. Could there indeed be truth to this?

vvv

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Originally posted by VreemdeVlieendeVoorwep

I have seen some of those epic Tier1 operator beards, and man, that beard alone is enough to at least hide a handgrenade, or some small weapon.

and FOOD!!!

Originally posted by VreemdeVlieendeVoorwep

Look at the all the statues of the greek gods, always big beards, long hair. Could there indeed be truth to this?

...and the early U.S. Presidents always pictured wearing wigs?

FYI

According to Islam, Muslim men are encouraged to grow beard as following the teachings of prophet Muhammad.

Great Story VVV (The OP)

Sorry to burst your bubble though, but the source is a SATIRICAL news site for military personnel.

About Us


The Duffel Blog serves the men and women of the US Military with a daily dose of military humor, funny military pictures, and faux news. We take an interesting and funny look at military life. We focus on veterans, military stories, defense, politics (sometimes) and life on base — with a comedic twist. We are in no way, shape, or form, a real news outlet. Just about everything on this website is satirical in nature.

If you’ve ever wondered who is behind all of this, it’s a highly-trained staff of writers that adopt the Duffel Writing Style. This style needs three points for the writer to be effective: a fair amount of creativity, a military background, and heavy drinking.

And now, onto the legal disclaimers…


Legal Crap

The content of this site is parody. No composition should be regarded as truthful, and no reference of an individual, company, or military unit seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm.

Duffleblog - About

Still, The beard idea could work... I for one, love my own beard


Here's another ling for everybody's amusement, off the same site:

Air Force Starts Using Highly Effective ‘Glitter Bomb’ Against Taliban

reply to post by VreemdeVlieendeVoorwep


Yep, I thought this was common knowledge? They did studies on this during vietnam with ambush tests, and the soldiers with long hair and beards would often sense the ambush, while the clean shaven soldiers would always walk into the trap. The same while sleeping, the long hair and bearded soldiers often woke up just prior to an attack while asleep while the clean-shaven soldiers were always killed.

Supposedly hair follicles are antennae for electro-magnetic signals emitted by other living things. The more antennae you have, the better your sense of another's presence.

could be a bit like SAMSON from the bible, his hair ended up his power,

.....Samson tells Delilah that he will lose his strength with the loss of his hair......

.

Maybe the Army is looking at myths and legends to better create super soldiers...starting with facial hair


Duke

Back in 1910, it was law that every calvary soldier must have a mustache.

1910 newspaper article


(sorry, can't copy/paste the text, its a scanned copy)

Also, with long hair and beards benificial to soldiers, would this not make Jesus the ideal war machine?

Originally posted by VreemdeVlieendeVoorwep


"Furthermore, any females able to grow facial hair are encouraged to do so as well.”

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!!!????????????????

Originally posted by SoymilkAlaska

Originally posted by VreemdeVlieendeVoorwep


"Furthermore, any females able to grow facial hair are encouraged to do so as well.”

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!!!????????????????

Well sure, that only makes good sense. What is more intimidating than realizing the enemy's female soldiers have more testosterone than you do?

Remember the old female German olympians? Now THAT was intimidating!

Just imagine fighting a war with fanatical Muslims and our front line is made up of gay men and women with beards. They will surely believe it is the devil's army incarnated and approaching from all sides!

This is obvious satire.. However a soldier with a beard in a theatre where chemical, biological or nuclear weapons could be used would not be able to make an effective seal with their respirators so would die..

But im all for not shaving.. Hate it!.. And being fined or put on restriction of privileges for not shaving sucks..

reply to post by VreemdeVlieendeVoorwep

Could that just be coincidence?

No, I would think that the "God" of Afghanistan wants men to have beards, so sends evil spirits to attack the men without beards.

reply to post by VreemdeVlieendeVoorwep


I think facial hair growth (which runs against the grain of established U.S. military wear and appearance standards in general) lightens the atmosphere & mind of a combatant, facilitating an environment were focus on combat is of primary importance versus upholding rigid standards that tend to allow for the greatest opportunity cost of them all: time.

Being a good soldier (thinking U.S. Army specifically, as I cannot speak for Marines, Sailors, or Airmen) is one thing. Being a capable warrior is another ... in my opinion & experience. For instance you can check all the blocks of the former simply by meeting or exceeding specific standards & toting the overall pomp and posh order that comes with being a good soldier. On the other hand you can be a capable warrior on the battlefield, but in my opinion that requires allowing individual flexibility for men to be men according to their natural prowess & disposition. The latter is not necessarily less orderly, but at the margins it is not quite the same as being a good soldier because these men are less constrained by policy to be a certain way.

I should say that being a good soldier does not preclude being a capable warrior. But time & again I've observed leaders in Afghanistan & Iraq emphasize policy standards at the expense of operations. This has the effect of instituting what I call "a bad priority of work" in that its structure too rigidly controls the behavior of men despite that these same men face mutilation or death 2, 3, 5 or more times a week.

Some commanders and leaders lighten up on the standards; I think those gents got their priorities in the right order. Others, however, were perhaps not capable of adapting to the situation & simply directed their men to act according to what they'd been taught--that is, the last refuge of their ability to lead men based on what they'd been taught rather than their ability to interface with their men, get feedback, develop new standards & courses of action, and become that much more capable of an outfit for doing so. And that is not to imply that training is worthless, but I tend to think of training as a general rule of thumb rather than an immediate muscle response for every conceivable circumstance. So my underlying opinion is that facial hair is something of a psychological breach that redirects the priority & allows men to marginally (i.e. at the margins) direct their fullest attention on combat versus upholding tendious & sometimes overbearing standards. And the funny thing is there are some leaders who will probably say or think that facial hair growth lends to a lack discipline, but it's my opinion that these are the same leaders who simply do as they've been taught & demonstrate neither initiative nor ability to adapt.

One of my favorite quotes comes from the movie "Moneyball" when Pitt's character says, "Adapt or die." I think a rather significant problem the U.S. Army has is its resistance to adapt. On the other hand, there are those who seep into the ranks that ought not be in combat period. So as a general rule there is good reason to create a lot of structure in order to modify & control behaviors simply to "keep in check" the bad ones among the aggregate, but that is where leadership ought to nix them from the team, or at the very least reassign them to avert the problems that personality conflicts invoke. Hmm ... it can be challenging.

I've probably not explained my reasoning very well, suffice it to say facial hair growth in AFG was primarily implemented to adapt & merge with local populaces. Beyond that there's a quality of grittiness about a beard that is strangely commensurate with combat. And I think that is so because modern decorum is less inclined toward unkempt facial hair, yet combat is as old as man. It's as though the facial hair is an outgrowth of an ancient ... trait (I can think of no better word to describe this idea), symbolizing the strength that is necessary to prevail. I'm just surprised that an actual study was necessary to deduce that something so simple as a beard might lend to a more capable fighter.

Nice find by the way.

Very interesting, thank you for posting.

I've been rocking a beard for years now, it's like having extra machine guns on your face!



Source / Beards

Chixdiggit also