So you just shot an alien in your house... now what?

Originally posted by Mianeye
Suck it's brain out to absorb it's intelligens, to be the wisest person on earth

Sell the penis to the Chinese, for big bucks

edit on 18-5-2012 by Mianeye because: (no reason given)

You've been watching too much District 9 and some sort of weirdo porn!! lol

Originally posted by amongus

Originally posted by Mianeye

Suck it's brain out to absorb it's intelligens, to be the wisest person on earth

Sell the penis to the Chinese, for big bugs

No, ill pass if I'm only getting a big bug out of selling the penis.

Omg that's Hilarious, who makes a double entendre like that!!!

/WIN

You would be on the floor paralysed while the rest of the aliens will try to figure out how you hid your intentions in your mind so well.They would then abduct you and wipe your mind.You would have PTSD for no reason, so your story would be dismissed because you would be diagnosed as anti social with paranoid tendencies.
If the being was (for some odd reason) by itself and not being actively monitored.And your firearm actually penetrated the creatures skin(An FAL in an SF squad in Laos didn't do it)You may get ill by alien pathogens in the creatures blood or if you are stupid enough to tell anybody you will end up as a resident of Dulce after you are sanitized by a CLET team from the rest of the world.

I would give him /her/it an Anal probe to see how they like it!

reply to post by SpaceCowboy78


I've given this some thought, too. Suppose you came upon a dead alien, alien technology, or some other un-debunkable piece of UFO evidence. What to do?

Calling the police or military would be a mistake. The evidence would be buried faster than you can say "swamp gas."

I think I would try to arrange a meeting of about a dozen well known clergy, university professors, and news reporters. I wouldn't tell them what the meeting was about, but I would promise them $10,000 if they attended the meeting and felt it was not worth their while. The professors could analyze the evidence, the reporters could take notes, videos, and photos, and the clergy would be there in the hopes that it would keep everyone honest.

Then before they leave, have those people use their clout to convince some local government officials to attend the meeting, along with more news crews with live feeds.

Basically, start with a small group of respectable witnesses, and let it grow as large as possible before the federal government steps in. At some point, it would just be too large for the government to bury.

Being a fat American I guess my first thought would be "can we eat it?" and "how does it taste with bacon and smothered in cheese sauce?"

Just kidding ET stop on in for a spell and we can eat pop tarts and watch Dr Who reruns.

Have it for dinner

I'd take pics with my iphone, so if the phone is seized, the pics cant be deleted off the apple server, only the phone and can be retrieved later, and call over some witnesses first, text the pics around & email copies to myself as a backup, then call police and take pics of them viewing the corpse.

I really don't think there is such a thing as a coverup of aliens or ufos, they love all the reports coming in. It seems.

Hrmmmm...since our gun is on my wife's side of the bed, I wouldn't have time to shoot it, and while scared enough to have soiled underwear (mainly because I'd be wondering why my dogs and cats didn't raise hell with it coming into the house), I'd most likely ask:

"Come in peace?"



However, keeping with the spirit of the thread, okay, I've shot it dead, now what?

Now, I would quickly throw it in my chest freezer, then quickly jump in the shower using anti-bacterial soap (hoping it works on alien bacteria).

Next, I'd get protective clothing, face shield, and then my small chain saw. I would then do a "Dexter" on it, and cut it up into small pieces, bag them and again, throw them in the freezer.

Clean up all the plastic and clothes, and then jump in the shower again. (hopefully the alien's blood and other bodily fluids are not toxic on contact, or acid based, hehehehe).

Then, while waiting for the pieces to freeze solid, I'd be going into town to buy a bunch of shipping boxes, packing, and lots of dry ice.

Return home. Pack all the frozen alien parts in the boxes, packing and dry ice to keep them cold.

Address each package with a fake return address, and to every university and college I can think of, to their biology departments, labeling the packages as parishables.

I'd load them up in the car, in coolers, and drive to several different near by towns, to different FedExs and ship them to all those Universities and colleges.

Return home, come on here and brag about it as my thread get's thrown in the Skunk Works, and keep my eyes on the news.......

Yep, that's what I'd do....

Oh, and clean the chainsaw up.

Tool up and take out his whole crew then tax his ride

take as many pictures as possible, contact as many people as possible, get every news crew I can find, every television station, every person I can even think about calling and every website I can find. Get the information out to as many people as humanly possible before the secret service comes and tries to keep it all quiet.
....then I'd have a BIG party and charge people to have their picture taken with the dead alien to pay for the lawyers I'll need to try to get me out of the government's clutches if they allow me to live. Of course with that many people knowing about it, it'll be much harder to cover up!

BTW -

You might want to start up another thread, same tittle as this one, only modify it to say: now what is your spouse and/or children doing?

Originally posted by eriktheawful
Hrmmmm...since our gun is on my wife's side of the bed, I wouldn't have time to shoot it, and while scared enough to have soiled underwear (mainly because I'd be wondering why my dogs and cats didn't raise hell with it coming into the house), I'd most likely ask:

"Come in peace?"

However, keeping with the spirit of the thread, okay, I've shot it dead, now what?

Now, I would quickly throw it in my chest freezer, then quickly jump in the shower using anti-bacterial soap (hoping it works on alien bacteria).

Next, I'd get protective clothing, face shield, and then my small chain saw. I would then do a "Dexter" on it, and cut it up into small pieces, bag them and again, throw them in the freezer.

Clean up all the plastic and clothes, and then jump in the shower again. (hopefully the alien's blood and other bodily fluids are not toxic on contact, or acid based, hehehehe).

Then, while waiting for the pieces to freeze solid, I'd be going into town to buy a bunch of shipping boxes, packing, and lots of dry ice.

Return home. Pack all the frozen alien parts in the boxes, packing and dry ice to keep them cold.

Address each package with a fake return address, and to every university and college I can think of, to their biology departments, labeling the packages as parishables.

I'd load them up in the car, in coolers, and drive to several different near by towns, to different FedExs and ship them to all those Universities and colleges.

Return home, come on here and brag about it as my thread get's thrown in the Skunk Works, and keep my eyes on the news.......

Yep, that's what I'd do....

Oh, and clean the chainsaw up.

Good idea, if it fits, it ships!

Originally posted by amongus

Originally posted by blackmetalmist

Originally posted by amongus
Wouldn't post the pictures on ATS, as they would be the subject of constant debunking.

And potentially get you banned for hoaxing

Not to be off topic, but your pic should be illegal here on ATS...

you can't use pictures of yourself? I didn't know that! I may have to change mine

Originally posted by SpaceCowboy78

Originally posted by SmoKeyHaZe
reply to post by SpaceCowboy78

 

If an alien visited me in my home, I honestly doubt I'd shoot it unless it posed a threat to me.

Under these circumstances though, after killing it, I would probably have a cigarette & ponder my new celebrity life & how stinkin' rich I'm gonna be, thanks to my new dead alien buddy.

That's just it though, don't you think the gov would be clean up your butt if you went public with it?

Yes...you would have to get a reporter from a major newspaper and have them take the samples and get the story. Then they would be the ones disappearing along with your ..little find. Honestly I doubt you would live very long and anyone you talked to would be made to appear insane or have accidents.

Best to bury it and not say a word, unless you like running forever.

Originally posted by Char-Lee

Originally posted by SpaceCowboy78

Originally posted by SmoKeyHaZe
reply to post by SpaceCowboy78

 

If an alien visited me in my home, I honestly doubt I'd shoot it unless it posed a threat to me.

Under these circumstances though, after killing it, I would probably have a cigarette & ponder my new celebrity life & how stinkin' rich I'm gonna be, thanks to my new dead alien buddy.

That's just it though, don't you think the gov would be clean up your butt if you went public with it?

Yes...you would have to get a reporter from a major newspaper and have them take the samples and get the story. Then they would be the ones disappearing along with your ..little find. Honestly I doubt you would live very long and anyone you talked to would be made to appear insane or have accidents.

Best to bury it and not say a word, unless you like running forever.

Or wait until 2 am, drive it to town, hang it up in front of the courthouse, wipe all your prints off it and make sure there are no dna traces and act really, really surprised when everyone discovers it. If nobody disappears and the story breaks, THEN provide the pictures and evidence that you buried in your back yard in a steel box that only you know about!

*may as well retain as much info as needed to make yourself rich just in case it gets accepted

I would get a giant catapult and toss that badboy on the whitehouse lawn in broad daylight and say, "hows that for disclosure". Or just like the other guy said weekend at bernies his butt all over town for all to see. Maybe sell it to the circus as well. It could travel around like the bodie of Jesse James.

Right after I shot the damn thing, I ran straight for the camera. Mean while I was hearing sizzling and crackling and poping. Similar to a raging fire. When I got back with the camera I couldn't help but to notice the batteries were dead. Damn, go figure. So, .. I ran straight for the cord to plug it in. When I got back, he was still sizzling. I kept an eye on that ready light so I would be READY when it lit up. I was poised to shoot again, but this time with the camera. When the light came on, I heard one final sizzle and crack and I'll be damned if the damn thing didn't evaporate right when I pushed the shutter button. Now, .. I don't have the proof, but, you'll just have to take my word for it.

reply to post by SpaceCowboy78


You would disappear. Without a trace.
Forever.

i would dust off the old cook book "To Serve Alien" and fire up the grill

nom nom nom !!

What a fun little thread to consider at the end of the night.

With how many people have reported seeing such things, who knows.... If I planted ET in my very own Bedroom? Hmmm.. Well I sure wouldn't call the cops. Those idiots can't investigate a common burglary on most days. They'd probably arrest ME for some stupid thing or another by the end of it. I'll tell ya in thinking about this for a couple minutes...

I'd make 3 calls in quick succession and what each said wouldn't matter to calling the next in line. First, I'd get a hold of whatever poor SOB was playing Duty Officer at the Pentagon for the highest position number I could find a ring on and someone to answer. There, I'd make as full a report as I could...as respectfully and seriously as possible.

Next, I'd call the same routine at CIA in Langley. Same careful, respectful and detailed reporting...whether it was over uproars of laughter or not. Both places record all their calls....thats all that matters.

Finally, I'd call the Secret Service desk number at 1600 Penn Ave and make some really REALLY stupid statements in really crazy and imminent ways. You know, the kind of things that would roust agents out of a warm bed at 2 am to rush to my house at 100mph.

After considering this...it occurred to me. As satisfying as killing a trespassing ET would be.....Well, that little sucker didn't thumb a ride to Earth and he sure didn't make a solo trip....so I figure my time to live would be measured in fractions of the morning left...and I better get half the Government to land right on my little head, before a UFO did and showed me the OTHER uses for those probes we're always hearing abductees talk about.