What does it mean when you find someone irresistable?

There is something amongst the sexes called the "game", this is a tit for tat challenge, where someone is bound to get hurt. If you are unaware of the rules of the "game" or have to ask about feeling for someone who is no good, then you are NOT prepared for the "game".

There are many people that can separate lust, sex, emotion, etc,. for those that cannot they should stay away from those that can. It takes years to grow this kind of wall, and twice as many hearts broken in order to break it down.

Good luck to you "friend"

Peace, NRE.

reply to post by britelite1971


Yes, I've been there before. The sex was great but the guy was nothing but trouble. Subtly sadistic, kind of judgmental, cruel, a mind-game player who was always sending mixed signals. One minute he shows up with flowers and gifts and oozing with charm, the next minute he's rejecting, mean, and a total bastard.

These types of people (it's not just men, but women too) are emotionally abusive, but being with them is like being drugged. The best thing I ever did was split up with him and never saw him again.

That left me free to meet my husband, who pretty much mended my confused and shredded heart.

Women will waste a great deal of time on a bastard, just like men will waste a lot of time on a woman who turns out to be a ho-bag. It is time that you can never get back, and you WILL regret the wasted time. I know I do.

The best advice I can give is to run, not walk, away, and try to find a decent, stable guy.

I hope I was straight-up enough for you.

Originally posted by ovumcranium
Worst case scenario:

Could be he has narcissistic personality disorder. They are exceptional at "reflecting" ones personality, which is "irresistlble". And then she will be reeled in. Scary times begin.

Or a psychopath or sociopath - cons can also be irresistible.

Look up articles by Sandra Brown - writer of "How to Spot a Dangerous Man"

Best case scenario : life-long bliss - don't we all want that??

Good points! I will look up those articles and print them for her to read. This guy is a salesman. What do you think....are salesmen more dishonest than most and better at "selling themseves" than the average person?

Originally posted by britelite1971
reply to post by OccamAssassin

 

A question if you don't mind answering. Have you ever been in that kind of situation before and did it end well or in a bad situation?

Several times (from both sides of the equation) and I have witnessed it in friends many more.

Good, I suppose. They were all monogamous relationships(in my case) so there is always that sad element, but, as far as break-ups go....they ended pretty well.(i.e. no legal action or projectile demonstrations ).

Oxytocin might be the key here but it also could be -

Women like bad boys
He might remind her of her father (believe it or not)
Or he might remind her of someone else she was very fond of

But my theory on attraction is simple. Everything in this universe once existed as an incredibly small singularity, including these two individuals. The matter that once existed together or close together, may be attracted to each other than matter that was not. So consciously she might not know why she's attracted to him but the matter that makes her does. Sort of like quantum entanglement but with a twist. Again, it's just a theory but it's one I believe.

Originally posted by britelite1971
My best friend asked me if I would ask this on ats. She doesn't have internet right now so I am researching for her. She met this guy who she thinks is a total player but no matter how hard she tries she can't seem to resist him. They have that sort of love-hate-passionate relationship where she just seems to be drawn back to him even though she knows it's not the best choice. I've tried to tell her that its probably not going to end well and she says she knows that but she can't stay away from him, and she hates herself for that.

I'm going to copy-paste her the most helpful answers in a text message so please just give upfront and honest (no insulting) answers please. I myself have had a couple of really passionate heated relationships in the past but it never ended well emotionally. On the other hand the really pleasant and easy relationships can be kind of boring. Opinions, advice and experiences?? I think her biggest question is do the really hot passionate relationships always end in disaster or could it be a sign that you've found "the one"? Past experience advice needed, but please try to be nice.

. Also, any idea why we are sometimes helplessly drawn to another person?

It mean your in lust... enjoy but watch out for broken hearts...

reply to post by britelite1971


some guys just have that "animal magnetism"...

Wecome to a mans world.... lol

let it play out...

reply to post by Akragon


Hmmm. Sounds like you have some knowledge about this animal magnetisim that you speak of.

Originally posted by britelite1971
reply to post by Akragon

 

Hmmm. Sounds like you have some knowledge about this animal magnetisim that you speak of.

Do you not?.. So sorry...

reply to post by Wrabbit2000


You are so dead on with the intuition thing. I can't tell you how many times I've ignored my intuition and regretted it. For some reason us women second guess our intuition and then realize it later.

Originally posted by Asktheanimals
"What does it mean?"
Trouble

Forgive the one liner but I don't want to dilute the message.

Straight to the point. I like that! I think deep down inside she knows that but just doesn't want to admit it.

reply to post by hudsonhawk69


Unfortunately I do. (or in some cases fortunately). Just guessing from your avatar that you're a straight male, so I have a feeling that we both have experience with that but from different point of views.

reply to post by FissionSurplus


Great advice and very straight up. Thanks!

reply to post by OccamAssassin


Yep, it's definitely a bonus when no one gets arrested!

Originally posted by chrismicha77
Oxytocin might be the key here but it also could be -

Women like bad boys
He might remind her of her father (believe it or not)
Or he might remind her of someone else she was very fond of

But my theory on attraction is simple. Everything in this universe once existed as an incredibly small singularity, including these two individuals. The matter that once existed together or close together, may be attracted to each other than matter that was not. So consciously she might not know why she's attracted to him but the matter that makes her does. Sort of like quantum entanglement but with a twist. Again, it's just a theory but it's one I believe.

edit on 3-5-2012 by chrismicha77 because: (no reason given)

I love your theory! It's fascinating and romantic all at the same time!

Aww I don't know, so long as you understand you might get burnt and steel yourself, go ahead and play with that fire.
I should have a fire juggling proficiency by now.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


But "game" and "putting a wall up" seems so cold. So, is it better to get hurt or to never know the kind of love that rocks you to your core?

reply to post by Suspiria


Sounds like you know of what you speak. So, was the fire pretty good up to the getting burnt part?

Originally posted by britelite1971

Originally posted by Asktheanimals
"What does it mean?"
Trouble

Forgive the one liner but I don't want to dilute the message.

Straight to the point. I like that! I think deep down inside she knows that but just doesn't want to admit it.

Any time someone finds another person irresistibly attractive they A) have surrendered their common sense and committed themselves emotionally to another and B) given that other person power over them - whether they choose the exercise that control is another issue altogether.
From the viewpoint of the one found attractive they can either feel a reciprocal emotion or more likely become scared by the seeming obsession of the other person, particularly if that person is a female.
From my experience women prefer strong men who don't show a great deal of emotion and certainly don't surrender themselves to some emotional whim. Many women consider such men as weak and find it unattractive.
Men on the other hand might see a woman fawning over them as unnatural and conniving. Either way it's usually an undesirable trait and is treated with suspicion.

reply to post by Bigfoot12714


I've heard that but the opposite is actually true.Women start at a very young age.