Workplace Bullying...

reply to post by doobydoll


I am very glad that worked out for you.

In my workplace, the way it is, and the type of workplace it is, that would have been so totally inappropriate for me to do. I would have lost my job over it. Not that I wouldn't have minded going toe to toe with this person, mind you.

In the end, all it would have done is ended with me being drug down to her level, which I refused to allow to happen, though.

She was attempting to manipulate me to attack back, to respond in kind, so I would have disciplinary action taken on me.

In all respects, she was trying to get me fired. Since the attempts to get me to respond in kind failed, that is when she moved to the lies and rumors in an attempt to slander me.

She was a highly manipulative person, and it is very frightening how calculating she was. You could watch her, looking for the "right" people to be, or not be around before she approached me. You could definitely tell this was not her first rodeo.

When the stare down attack happened, the supervisor was a mere 15 feet away, but busy doing her job, so the whole event passed totally and completely unnoticed by her, yet was witnessed by at least 4 other people, including my new trainee. It was fully designed to humiliate me in front of the new trainee, and an attempt to make her lose respect for me. Thankfully, the new trainee saw through it.

She did end up sending a letter of commendation to my manager and myself after her training was over. She is a very sweet person, and I am glad to have had the opportunity to have worked with and trained her. She is doing an awesome job in her new position.

reply to post by Libertygal


I agree that not all instances can be resolved in the way I handled it. These workplace bullies need a taste of their own medicine in my opinion.

Give some people a title in their place of employment and they suddenly turn into abusive, disrespectful little Hitlers. Why is that I wonder?

reply to post by Libertygal

Because she was going through my area and saying things about me to anyone that would listen that were untrue. She was making public spectacles as I outlined in my previous messages, proclaiming falsehoods and lies as she walked away from me, speaking loudly so others heard *her*. In the closed door meeting, she said that there were "many complaints about you..." as I put in my previous post. All lies, and all things that could have threatened my job.

I don't understand what led to this? What actions or what dealings with the trainee did you have that made them say things about you? And if there are other complaints about you how does it relate to your dealings with the problem trainee?

Is "many complaints about you" just from the one person, or are other people complaining about you?

Also, besides that, you went over your supervisors head when they weren't in the position to do anything about the trainee. Basically, it seems like they were hamstrung in the circumstance and just wanted to pass off the trainee.

In the rest of it, it seems like you handled it normally. But there still seems like a lot left out to the whole story....

reply to post by boncho


I think you need to take a more in depth look at the topic at hand before discounting the experience of others. When I get off work I plan on adding some context for you although that was not my intent.

Ironically, I'll bet it's the bullies that generally get a lot of promotions as well. I remember reading somewhere that people with sociopathic tendencies tended to do better American businesses than normal people.

reply to post by boncho

I don't understand what led to this? What actions or what dealings with the trainee did you have that made them say things about you?

See, this is the problem. Nothing led to this, this was an action she took upon herself with her own motivations. You just answered your own dilema over the whole thing, as well as mine and the whole departments. There was nothing I did. Why does it have to be something I did? Why doyou feel a need to blame me for her actions?

And if there are other complaints about you how does it relate to your dealings with the problem trainee?

You don't understand. There were no other complaints about me. She outright lied to the supervisor. Read what I wrote about the part where the supervisor warned her about spreading unfounded rumors. My peers like me. A lot.

Is "many complaints about you" just from the one person, or are other people complaining about you?

It was all made up in her head.

Also, besides that, you went over your supervisors head when they weren't in the position to do anything about the trainee. Basically, it seems like they were hamstrung in the circumstance and just wanted to pass off the trainee.

I went over the supervisors head because being told to not talk to anyone about this outside the closed door meeting was wrong. She should have gone to the manager about the issue. You do not keep issues like this a secret, and my job was placed on the line with the lying and the supervisors apathy and seemingly doubting my side of what happened, not to mention her aparent apathy over speaking to the witnesses.

In the rest of it, it seems like you handled it normally. But there still seems like a lot left out to the whole story....

No, just some minor details about the specificness of the job which aren't necessary to have. Otherwise, you have the entire gist of it.

reply to post by onequestion


IMO, workplace bullying is a symptom of bigger social inadequacies in our society (adults? really?)/social immaturity.

Like most things, there are prob. a million exceptions to this assumption (so if you don't fit this bill, excuse me please).

Bullying is something that most people learn to deal with when young. If you have not, here's some advice.

Father tone starts now:

There are two types of people. Those that allow themselves to be bullied, and those who stand up for themselves/make enough trouble back at bullies that you're no longer an easy target. and they move on.

You tell this person who is bullying you that you've had enough of their bull*@&!, and that if they don't back off, you're going to deal with it.

He will be back, and when he is, you say "What did I tell you?" and punch this person square in the face as hard as you can. You might take a bit of a beating after (50/50 on this), but so what? You'll most likely be fine unless you are truly dealing with a murderer, and statistically, most bullies are just punks.

The bullying will stop if you stand up for yourself.

Originally posted by Xaphan
When I worked at McDonalds my boss shouted at me for about 5 minutes before firing me, just because I had an uncontrollable sneeze which projected my chewing tobacco all over the preparation counter. That's the problem with a boss being a workplace bully, there's really nothing you can do about it. You can do something about it when it's a coworker though.

This is a funny post. Two sides to every story. :-]

You do realize how nasty that sounds to many people, right? Heh.

Bullying in the workplace has always been there. It's just that the number of bullies is increasing.

"i am a retired professional mixed Martial artist and amateur boxer."

What the heck. I'm dumbfounded. I get the whole ye shall act only in self defense thing... but this is negatively affecting your life... it is an attack on your person.

reply to post by AkumaStreak


Why was he chewing tobacco while working in a restaurant?I'd chew him out for a half of hour before physically throwing him out. Boy he's lucky I wasn't his boss.

reply to post by Libertygal

See, this is the problem. Nothing led to this, this was an action she took upon herself with her own motivations. You just answered your own dilema over the whole thing, as well as mine and the whole departments. There was nothing I did. Why does it have to be something I did? Why doyou feel a need to blame me for her actions?

Well, I go back to my earlier position that you are not qualified to handle trainees and those duties shouldn't have been given to you.

For the rest of the world that has to train and manage on a regular basis, these things don't happen. You should ask your employer not to put you in that position if you are unable to handle it.

and my job was placed on the line with the lying and the supervisors apathy and seemingly doubting my side of what happened, not to mention her aparent apathy over speaking to the witnesses.

You already said your peers respect you and like you, so why was your job on the line?

Originally posted by rickymouse
reply to post by AkumaStreak

 

Why was he chewing tobacco while working in a restaurant?

I'd chew him out for a half of hour before physically throwing him out. Boy he's lucky I wasn't his boss.

Nah I was just joking. That didn't really happen.

I was just seeing how many people would take that seriously.

reply to post by AkumaStreak


Yea i have been down that path before and trust me it only causes problems.

reply to post by rickymouse


Yes and now we have workplace mobbing where the Bully manager etc gets his/her minions, lower level employees to do the bullying for them. Which is a lot more sinister and pretty much impossible to STOP unless you audio record their behavior which I highly recommend. That or leave and find another job which might be the better option at the end of the day.

Originally posted by doobydoll
reply to post by Libertygal
[more
Give some people a title in their place of employment and they suddenly turn into abusive, disrespectful little Hitlers. Why is that I wonder?

Disrespect and lack of unity. Created by the system that teaches/supports them. LOL future looks AWESOME

Originally posted by onequestion
So i am incurring a serious issue of workplace bullying. I am also a witness to others being bullied in the workplace. So a few quick Google searches to see what other people are experiencing and this is what i find....

Source...

Bullying is a systematic campaign of interpersonal destruction that jeopardizes your health, your career, the job you once loved. Bullying is a non-physical, non-homicidal form of violence and, because it is violence and abusive, emotional harm frequently results. You may not be the first person to have noticed that you were bullied. Check to see how many of these indicators match yours.

It also says that 35% of the American workforce experiences bullying! That statistic is mind numbing! This is a huge problem and a very serious conspiracy. Not only are the jobs harder and harder to find, not only are they lower, and lower paying, they are also strenuous and harmful to our overall health and well being!

Source...

From CBS news....

If you run a typical American company — whether you have 10,000 employees or 25 — then you probably have a bully in your business. According to a 2007 survey conducted by Zogby International, almost half of U.S. workers report that they have experienced or witnessed some kind of bullying on the job - insults, threats, screaming, or ostracism.

So this is more mainstream. So people are starting to realize a problem. What does this say about the current model of American culture? This is a cultural problem, our problems as Americans are not finance related, they are not consumer related, they are culturally related.

Wiki...

In 2008, Dr. Judy Fisher-Blando[7] wrote a doctoral research dissertation on Aggressive Behavior: Workplace Bullying and Its Effect on Job Satisfaction and Productivity.[8] The scientific study determined that almost 75% of employees surveyed had been affected by workplace bullying, whether as a target or a witness. Further research showed the types of bullying behaviour, and organizational support.

So according to Wiki this is affecting 75% of Americans. I think we need to address this issue as a nation.

This is currently happening to me severely for no apparent reason. Is this happening to anyone else? What are you doing about it? What should i do about it? Is this affecting the job market and unemployment rates? Is this why young people want to work less and less?

Grow a "set," and go at this person as a collective or go it alone. Either way you have to do something. Quit or do something. When I was young I was bullied relentlessly. I decided I had enough because there would always be times I was alone and would only have myself to defend me. I joined a boxing club. I learned how to give respect and expect no less in return. If the bully doesn't go physical on you, then it is always your own fault for not putting a stop to it. If you are afraid of a physical threat, then make friends with a badass at one of the local fight (join) clubs. Guys who are skilled, most generally hate bullies and jump at the change to put them in check. I hate bullies and I have defended a few people in my life from them. Some people I have helped, I didn't even know.
I saw a dad in the mall pull his kids in close because of some loud animated punks going by. This caught one of their attention and they started following him and berrating him in front of his family for being concerned. I happened to be with two of my brothers so I wasn't worried about this guy's buddies. I started following these people and saying things to the bully to agitate him as he flagrantly harrassed the family man. As soon as the bully told me to mind my own buisness, pointing his finger at the same time, I stepped to him, put him to the floor, and said watch your mouth when you talk to me, boy. I told the father, a complete stranger, to take his kids and go I would take it from there. He actually said, "no, I want to see him get his!" The jokers decided this was not going to end well for any of them, so they "pop off" with the gansta talk to save face, but it is while they walked away.

reply to post by Turkenstein


Its not just as easy as growing a set. There are a vary amount of circumstances in which people may feel backed into a corner so to say. Something more subtle.

I am trying the faith approach. Kill them with kindness.

I'm a very shy person so people think I'm weird when I first start a job. I use this time to observe how others react to me and also how they treat each other. I'm a nurse so I busy myself with the patients and just observe the staff. When I come out of my shell, I gravitate towards those I've seen to be kind and good to each other and the patients. The others I am polite to but if I see them bullying others I will call them over to talk about the issue. Sometimes I feel like I'm babysitting but I have to do it to maintain the peace between staff. If it continues, I go to my boss. If it doesn't stop then, I go to my bosses boss and so on until it stops. Nobody wants to come to work daily to work around people with nasty attitudes. I'm a peace lover but I will tell someone where they can shove their attitude. When I do speak up people are shocked at how mad I am. It's because I've been seeing it go on for so long and they have pushed me to my limit.

There have been times when nothing can be done about the person because management doesn't care. In these instances we just have to be patient and wait for the person to crash and burn on their own. I'm ashamed to admit I have given these bullies the hardest assignments as a passive aggressive punishment (hangs head) but hey I'm only human! Best of luck to you and stay positive.

I wanted to add a workplace story. BTW the chewing tobacco story was my laugh for the night! Last year there was a guy that worked in the kitchen of the nursing home. The company was re-doing the floors so there were alot of construction workers there. One day, the kitchen guy is walking the halls and sees the man his wife is having an affair with. The man was a construction worker working on the floors. He'd found out about the affair a couple weeks before but had never spoken to the guy. He knew him by face because they lived on the same block. So he confronts the guy in the hall about sleeping with his wife. The guy acts like he doesn't know anything. Next thing we know the kitchen guy had taken everyone in the kitchen hostage!!!! You didn't think nursing homes were boring did you?

Now he has people barricaded in the kitchen and won't let them out. There were police everywhere. My boss is talking through a megaphone through the kitchen door trying to calm him down. He finally after 3 hours let the people go and the police got him. That's not the end! The police released him and he called the next morning at 10am to state that he is coming to the nursing home to shoot 7 specific people he named and anyone else he sees in the building. We then had police walking our halls for 3 weeks straight. He started calling us on night shift talking about having sex with us and other nasty comments. We NEVER thought this man was like that. He seemed like a straight laced, polite man. He ended up coming there with a knife but the police were ready and got him as he came in the side door. He was mad at the nursing home because they fired him even though he'd been there for 15 years. They couldn't let him stay after a hostage situation .

My point is to be very careful. Looks are deceiving. Many go off the deep end without warning. Follow the chain of command with your complaints and if that doesn't work switch jobs. It's not worth your life.