A Question About Girls (Not Relationships)

reply to post by Wonders

So we are talking percentages now, within what vicinity of your country does this ring true for this large percentage of women?

Every country, throughout the entire world. Women have the same genetic make up all over the world. They have hormones that dictate certain actions. Because they are brainwashed by some religion doesn't change their genetic makeup.

To learn and make decisions based upon that which you have learned from, does not make you "brainwashed", it simply changes you as a person.
I think that a woman would at lease wonder why she does what she does.

I act on experience. I haven't held to any religious system of belief so I base my decisions on life experience, some choices are good and some bad. I don't need preachers or imams to tell me what I'm supposed to do. Neither does anyone else really if they choose to live their life without indoctrination.

Let's put it this way. You are not acting like an Alpha Male. You are acting like a Beta Male, a living caring person who will treat his woman like a princess! Oh, yes! But the unfortunate thing is, being a Beta Male is not a survival trait. Being an Alpha Male, a "bad boy" is.

On the one side we have society telling us what is proper behavior. It could be religion saying we should respect one another, or feminism telling us everyone is equal, dammit, or else! Or some other method of sanctions telling us how we ought to behave 'between the sexes' in a proscribed manner.

On the other side there is the selfish gene. It couldn't care less about society's politics and admonishments. All the selfish gene wants to do is survive to the next generation, period. And it will do so any way it can. However, because of the way we are built, men and women have rather different ways of accomplishing that goal.

Men need to propagate their seed. The absolute best way to ensure the selfish gene's survival is to impregnate as many females as possible. Statistically speaking, the more prergnant females, the more the chances an offspring will survive to adulthood. Further, males are capable of impregnating females without themselves slowing down. There are no physical limitations.

So what kind of women to men prefer? Larger breasted curvy hipped "pretty" women. Why? Because they look healthy and may be better equipped to raise a child to adulthood. They have ample milk for nursing. Their hips are wide for a successful birth. They are attractive and alluring. In a pinch it doesn['t really matter, but if the chance is there, that's the kind of woman a man will choose.

Women, on the other hand, absolutely must choose a different survival strategy. The basic reason is that if she becomes pregnant, she's stuck raising the kid for years. She'll lactate for two years, then probably get pregnant again. If she is going to raise the kids to adulthood, and they are just as much hers as his, she must find a stable environment to do so. She's not equipped to go running around.

So what kind of men do women prefer? Big, tough, macho men who are capable of protecting the woman from other men, who are capable of providing for the woman and her off-spring. If she chooses that kind of man, her kids will most likely be as tough as he is and help defend the nest. She doesn't want "loving, caring, sensitive" men because, frankly, they are wimps and no good in a battle. They can't protect the nest and poetry doesn't help.

Although we pretend it doesn't happen that way, it does. You see this played out in peronal ads all the time. Woman seeking man: Must be independent (i.e.: Have money), over six feet (strong), etc. Man seeking woman: Must be voluptuous and pretty, maybe even blonde! Personally, I'm atrracted to redheads. I have no idea why. I just am. Perhaps there's some gene way back there that prompts me in this direction. It might be interesting to find out some day.

Now maybe both men and women really don't want to play this game. There are philosophical reasons why they may be convinced this is not a good idea, both political, religious, and class-based. "Bad boys" can be trouble and NOT good providers. Judging women by the size of their breasts is pretty stupid behavior, too. But the point here is that we have a genetic makeup that is pushing us, and pushing us hard from the inside, playing us off against our emotions, to act on behalf of the selfish gene, not on behalf of ourselves. Both men and women are subject to these pressures. This isn't a one-sided deal.

If you understand this, you can change your behavior. I am NOT suggesting you try to become a "bad boy" at all, just to recognize it and to emulate the parts that are useful. For example, one cardinal rule is to not care. If you act like you are sensitive and lament that some woman won't flirt with you, your score in the sexual marketplace just went down. You're acting like a wimp and you just can't do that. The BEST thing to do is to develop your talents, to do well, and become the kind of guy a woman recognizes as capable and talented and able to make his way in the world. That raises your score in the sexual marketplace and makes you more attractive. In other words, don't concentrate on being attracted to the prize. Instead, be the prize.

Being a "BFF" just sucks huh...

serves you good for being so nicey-nice...

To make you jealous.

reply to post by EvilSadamClone


Without fully understanding your situation I can only give you the best guess advise I can. She wants attention. But not in the since you know. Most girls I've known say that they like the challenge. I mean it's human nature to want some excitment, right? If you really like this girl, keep her as a friend, but date other people. Give yourself some mystery, and let her see the person who she might loose. If that ends up failing (more then likely won't work out to plan) At least you'll gain some confidence knowing that shes not the only girl in the world. Plus you might end up meeting the right person for you. I wish you luck.

Might have something to do with you.
I had one friend who threw his toys out of the pram regularly because I only wanted to be friends.
For some reason the fact that he had a pig nose, hairy back and looked like Edward from A League of Gentlemen seemed to have escaped him.

Welcome to the friend-zone, buddy. I think a girl like that's behavior stems from attention seeking, and if she already has your attention, why keep trying to get it?

This is right on the money...

And that nonsense about not being friends after sex? Just that...nonsense. I married my best friend, and we've been married for 8 years now. We were friends for years, and eventually decided to take it to the next level, and have been together since.

Of course, gals younger than their 30's will almost NEVER transfer you out of the friend zone, so if this is the age bracket you and she are in (under 30), then you're barking up the wrong tree at the moment...

Originally posted by boncho
reply to post by Wonders

So we are talking percentages now, within what vicinity of your country does this ring true for this large percentage of women?

 

Every country, throughout the entire world. Women have the same genetic make up all over the world. They have hormones that dictate certain actions. Because they are brainwashed by some religion doesn't change their genetic makeup.

To learn and make decisions based upon that which you have learned from, does not make you "brainwashed", it simply changes you as a person.
I think that a woman would at lease wonder why she does what she does.

I act on experience. I haven't held to any religious system of belief so I base my decisions on life experience, some choices are good and some bad. I don't need preachers or imams to tell me what I'm supposed to do. Neither does anyone else really if they choose to live their life without indoctrination.

So, according to what you have said, a large percentage of women in every country, throughout the entire world enjoy their lifestyle.
lifestyle (n) - Bing Dictionary

1.manner of living: the way of life characteristic of a particular person, group, or culture

Synonyms: way of life, existence, standard of living, routine, life, daily life, everyday life, regime

If anyone would put some stock into what it means to enjoy one's lifestyle and look at the factors that may have attributed to this woman's decision not to flirt with a man that she may be interested in getting to know. For one thing, I don't flirt, I don't know the mindset of a person who does, I don't see the merit in it. I can assure you, if I dug up all the information I dared find, statistically and verbally, I'll bet you that I would come up with the opinion that there is not a large percentage of women, or men for that matter, who thoroughly enjoy their lifestyle, especially not the lifestyle of those whom differ, apparently.
As for a life without indoctrination, it's really quite an endeavor you've got there, since not even you can stop yourself from learning.
indoctrinate (vt) - Bing Dictionary

1.cause to believe something: to teach somebody a belief, doctrine, or ideology thoroughly and systematically, especially with the goal of discouraging independent thought or the acceptance of other opinions

Synonyms: instruct, program, train, teach, coach, brainwash, proselytize, propagandize, inculcate

Originally posted by schuyler
Let's put it this way. You are not acting like an Alpha Male. You are acting like a Beta Male, a living caring person who will treat his woman like a princess! Oh, yes! But the unfortunate thing is, being a Beta Male is not a survival trait. Being an Alpha Male, a "bad boy" is.

On the one side we have society telling us what is proper behavior. It could be religion saying we should respect one another, or feminism telling us everyone is equal, dammit, or else! Or some other method of sanctions telling us how we ought to behave 'between the sexes' in a proscribed manner.

On the other side there is the selfish gene. It couldn't care less about society's politics and admonishments. All the selfish gene wants to do is survive to the next generation, period. And it will do so any way it can. However, because of the way we are built, men and women have rather different ways of accomplishing that goal.

Men need to propagate their seed. The absolute best way to ensure the selfish gene's survival is to impregnate as many females as possible. Statistically speaking, the more prergnant females, the more the chances an offspring will survive to adulthood. Further, males are capable of impregnating females without themselves slowing down. There are no physical limitations.

So what kind of women to men prefer? Larger breasted curvy hipped "pretty" women. Why? Because they look healthy and may be better equipped to raise a child to adulthood. They have ample milk for nursing. Their hips are wide for a successful birth. They are attractive and alluring. In a pinch it doesn['t really matter, but if the chance is there, that's the kind of woman a man will choose.

Women, on the other hand, absolutely must choose a different survival strategy. The basic reason is that if she becomes pregnant, she's stuck raising the kid for years. She'll lactate for two years, then probably get pregnant again. If she is going to raise the kids to adulthood, and they are just as much hers as his, she must find a stable environment to do so. She's not equipped to go running around.

So what kind of men do women prefer? Big, tough, macho men who are capable of protecting the woman from other men, who are capable of providing for the woman and her off-spring. If she chooses that kind of man, her kids will most likely be as tough as he is and help defend the nest. She doesn't want "loving, caring, sensitive" men because, frankly, they are wimps and no good in a battle. They can't protect the nest and poetry doesn't help.

Although we pretend it doesn't happen that way, it does. You see this played out in peronal ads all the time. Woman seeking man: Must be independent (i.e.: Have money), over six feet (strong), etc. Man seeking woman: Must be voluptuous and pretty, maybe even blonde! Personally, I'm atrracted to redheads. I have no idea why. I just am. Perhaps there's some gene way back there that prompts me in this direction. It might be interesting to find out some day.

Now maybe both men and women really don't want to play this game. There are philosophical reasons why they may be convinced this is not a good idea, both political, religious, and class-based. "Bad boys" can be trouble and NOT good providers. Judging women by the size of their breasts is pretty stupid behavior, too. But the point here is that we have a genetic makeup that is pushing us, and pushing us hard from the inside, playing us off against our emotions, to act on behalf of the selfish gene, not on behalf of ourselves. Both men and women are subject to these pressures. This isn't a one-sided deal.

If you understand this, you can change your behavior. I am NOT suggesting you try to become a "bad boy" at all, just to recognize it and to emulate the parts that are useful. For example, one cardinal rule is to not care. If you act like you are sensitive and lament that some woman won't flirt with you, your score in the sexual marketplace just went down. You're acting like a wimp and you just can't do that. The BEST thing to do is to develop your talents, to do well, and become the kind of guy a woman recognizes as capable and talented and able to make his way in the world. That raises your score in the sexual marketplace and makes you more attractive. In other words, don't concentrate on being attracted to the prize. Instead, be the prize.

Lengthy, I read every word. Is that the sort of minset that every man should adopt? Are these the words of one who truly has the "meaning of life" all figured out. I'm sorry, but to say that "she doesn't want a loving, caring, sensitive" man just isn't true for some women. Does the "one cardinal rule" apply to women as well? Does it apply to men who believe in a God?

reply to post by Wonders

As for a life without indoctrination, it's really quite an endeavor you've got there, since not even you can stop yourself from learning.

1.cause to believe something: to teach somebody a belief, doctrine, or ideology thoroughly and systematically, especially with the goal of discouraging independent thought or the acceptance of other opinions

Synonyms: instruct, program, train, teach, coach, brainwash, proselytize, propagandize, inculcate

Where in the heck did you see learning among the synonyms or description of the word indoctrination?

Learning is acquiring new, or modifying existing, knowledge, behaviors, skills, values, or preferences and may involve synthesizing different types of information.

Learning

Originally posted by boncho
reply to post by Wonders

As for a life without indoctrination, it's really quite an endeavor you've got there, since not even you can stop yourself from learning.

1.cause to believe something: to teach somebody a belief, doctrine, or ideology thoroughly and systematically, especially with the goal of discouraging independent thought or the acceptance of other opinions

Synonyms: instruct, program, train, teach, coach, brainwash, proselytize, propagandize, inculcate

 

Where in the heck did you see learning among the synonyms or description of the word indoctrination?

Learning is acquiring new, or modifying existing, knowledge, behaviors, skills, values, or preferences and may involve synthesizing different types of information.

Learning

Though you may choose not to show it, I know that you understand that there is a connection between teaching and being taught. Otherwise neither of us would have strived thus far with our words.

Originally posted by EvilSadamClone
I once knew a girl who liked to flirt with guys. However, she would never flirt with me. When I asked why she said it was because she really liked me, but not in a romantic way. I never pressed the matter.

So the question I put to you is this: why would a girl flirt with guys she doesn't like but not with guys she does like?

And ahve you ever seen this yourself? Is this a common thing?

We could decide that we are better capable of discerning our own motives than those whose lives we have not experienced for ourselves. Is it not enough for one to decide that they are not interested in a woman who flirts with all the rest? I'm not encouraging the demise of this discussion, but all things considered, questions arise.