Look at what my wife posted on another mans Facebook page.

reply to post by KewlDaddyFatty


Eh, to be honest.....If a girl I was dating, or married to posted something like that to someones page, I'd just shrug it off and say "huh....he sounds like a nice a guy". For all you know the guy is gay......but even if not, I don't see such a post as meaning anything. I get crap that like posted to my FB page by girls from time to time......Doesn't mean I'm 'doing' them.

Honestly you seem more concerned about the fact that she may be cheating on you, than the fact that SHE TOLD YOU SHE MIGHT NOT REALLY LOVE YOU! You're priorities seem a bit askew here, to be honest! Relationships can survive cheating....but they rarely survive if both partners don't love one another.

You don't need her! Go find yourself another man and make a video of all the dirty things the two of you do and send it to her. If you want to really get to her, I'm pretty sure showing her that another guy can make you a lot more happy than she ever could will do the trick.

Originally posted by choppedbrisket
Stories like yours make me so happy I never got married.
My advice don't allow her a divorce. At least fight it and draw it out as long as you can.
In the meantime bang every little home wrecking scamp you come across.
And let her know it, really put it in her face.
Also, don't ever speak nicely to her again.
Your attitude towards her should be rude at best and outright hostile at worst.
Everything in life is a game and should be played to win.
She forced this game on you so play it and play it for keeps.

WTF is wrong with you? With this advice, he would probably never see his kids again....

This isn't a game...

Originally posted by mileysubet

Originally posted by choppedbrisket
Stories like yours make me so happy I never got married.

WTF is wrong with you? With this advice, he would probably never see his kids again....

This isn't a game...

That one line, the first one..."Stories like yours make me so happy I never got married."

that's your answer, he has no clue.

First of all its not spying if its public information. Secondly, I would take screenshots of everything and make sure your end is buttoned up. Hire a lawyer, and save yourself before she takes you for everything you are worth. Depending on the state you are from, proof of infidelity on her part could seriously save you some money in the future if you do divorce.

I took advice from my sister in law. Never get married. Probably the best that I've gotten yet lol. But that's pretty rough that you had to go through with all that crap. But what's even worse is not knowing anything and finding out later. But probably a good idea and call it quits now. Divorce rates are very high during this time you're not alone. Stick with only dating like me. I relatively enjoy meeting new people that are like me, it's fun!

Do you usually fix things in your life that are broken, or, do you throw them away?

Nothing worth having is or should be expected to be easy.

You've got kids. If you quit this relationship, she'll keep the kids and when you get visiting rights, you'll have to come pick up the kids from their new step-father's house, and play nice in between letting whatever other guy she hooks up with when you are gone play father to your kids.

How do you feel about some other guy raising your kids?

Think of the children.

Quit being so selfish.

Sure, it's upsetting, but, if you leave, some other guy will wind up playing daddy to your kids.

I recommend cooling way down, working things out, experimenting, trying to breathe new flame into your relationship, if only you're just faking it.

Originally posted by doomedtoday
You don't need her! Go find yourself another man and make a video of all the dirty things the two of you do and send it to her. If you want to really get to her, I'm pretty sure showing her that another guy can make you a lot more happy than she ever could will do the trick.

lol I don't think he's into that kind of thing. Maybe, I don't know lol. My ex gf, said something along the lines of that trying to get me all jealous. She was like "Yeah OMG his dick is bigger than yours."

I was like really?!? Is that all that you can come up with?

She's crazy, my life would've been hell if I married my ex gf. She was wanting to get a baby while we were still in school. She was setting up the marriage of where everyone was gonna sit. She was that serious into putting her effort in to eventually marrying me. Which thankfully I broke up with her. She was hard to get rid of. Sex was great in my opinion. But she was a big hassle in general. She was evading my own personal life, crowding up my space. We argued very frequently over the phone, she had mood swings like you won't believe. This was affecting my other friendships around me. So I called it quits 3 times.

Facebook is a great fat hairy mole on the Devils doodaahs!

Originally posted by bhornbuckle75
reply to post by KewlDaddyFatty

 

Eh, to be honest.....If a girl I was dating, or married to posted something like that to someones page, I'd just shrug it off and say "huh....he sounds like a nice a guy". For all you know the guy is gay......but even if not, I don't see such a post as meaning anything. I get crap that like posted to my FB page by girls from time to time......Doesn't mean I'm 'doing' them.

But what if (as has happened to the OP) your girl/wife told you that she doesn't love you and that during a 5 month break you had the year before, she was seeing this guy/talking to this guy?

I kinda agree with you, "big deal".... but there are other factors in the incident, this isn't just a one off harmless post on FB (If we are to believe the OP)



** My advice to the OP**


Get out of the relation ship man.... at least officially end it anyway.
Try and work something out whereby you both can live at the place you're at for the kids sake and for financial reasons, but as soon as you have the money, get a place yourself... just a little place, not too far so you can see the kids.

You don't want this dragging on any longer as it wont do your sanity, your health or the possible relationship (friendship) that you and your wife MUST have for the sake of your kids.

Drinking and posting all of this on ATS as it happens is probably not the best thing, but I understand.... you're seeking advice and need someone to talk to.

Seriously.

Just say enough is enough..... She is obviously winding you up and she has blatantly told you to your face that she's not really into it/you any more.
So accept that and say to her that's fine... and try and work out a living arrangement (short term) that suits you both financially and allows you to explain it to the kids and give you both some breathing space and time.

Living in any environment like that (that is toxic) is not good for anyone.

Good luck mate.

It still amazes me how much of this goes on. You can imagine 'horny' teenagers going onto social media sites and trying to hook up and sending each other these silly little love notes but between 2 fully grown adults,already in relationships,its pathetic! It goes to show that since the introduction of the internet the oppurtunity to cheat on your partner has increased enormously, when combined with mobile phones and text messaging its very easy to get away with these days. I think it proves a general point which is inherant in most of us, we always think the grass is greener on the other side and with the new technologies available we are more likely to act on it. I realise affairs have gone on since the beginning of time but its much more prevalent now than it ever was and thats due to the oppurtunities out there to do so.

My own opinion is to carry on being a good father to your children, thats paramount, you dont want to lose them. But you need to end the relationship with your wife, its pointless staying in a loveless relationship, especially when one of you has started showing an interest in someone else. As innocent as it might be at the moment, the intent is still there! I've been through similar personally and its just not worth trying to hang on, sometimes its gone too far and its inevitable people grow apart. Good luck with it.

Honestly nobody should be telling this guy to "kick her to the curb". You have no idea of their situation, all you have is this guys wife posting 1 thing on Facebook.

Now to the OP. Talk to her about it. Be honest how you feel, hopefully she will be honest as well. Only after that can you get to figuring out what the next step in the relationship is, be it trying to fix things, or splitting up.

But until you talk to her, don't do anything rash. You don't exactly want to put down on your divorce papers "Reason for divorce: Facebook post".

Other than that, we don't really know you or her, or your situation. So no one posting here can really give you great advice, you need to discuss this with your wife.

Good Luck

Go confront the guy.

Ask him what's up.

reply to post by KewlDaddyFatty


When a woman tells a man he is "Sweet" what does she mean? Thats is the question. Anyone have an opinion of what calling a man "Sweet" really means?

Two words - "It's over."

Talk with her and ask her straight out if it's over between the two of you.

Tell her not to string you along.

If she acts like she wants to stay with you, ask her straight out about the "love" issue.

Get it out, in the open. Cleanly, succinctly, and honestly.

Make sure to chose the correct timing. Don't start a serious discussion while she's cooking dinner or if either of you have just come home from work.

Originally posted by ideasarebulletproof
Honestly nobody should be telling this guy to "kick her to the curb". You have no idea of their situation, all you have is this guys wife posting 1 thing on Facebook.

But until you talk to her, don't do anything rash. You don't exactly want to put down on your divorce papers "Reason for divorce: Facebook post".

I agree, but sadly in this generation Facebook does ruin a lot of personal lives, cause of this stuff. But the divorce reason may dwell deeper, than just a facebook posting. They should've gotten help way before this. Don't hesitate to get professional help that's why they are there.

Wow. My heart goes out to you.

As far as what to do, there's a lot of good advice posted already. I'm sure you can discern on your own. No one really knows the situation like you do. My suggestion is don't get reckless, especially with kids in the mix. Only you know your breaking point. If you want to salvage the marriage, you gotta find it within yourself to forgive any wrong on her part and go from there. Nothing she can say is really going to "justify" it for you. If it's passed your breaking point and you can't let it go, then you obviously have to let her go. Just stay collected. You ought to give yourself some (sober) time to really decide on what you want to do from here before any more confrontation.

Best of luck to you, friend.


ETA: Anyone can tell you "what you should do," but the more important question you need to ask yourself is "where do I want to end up?" Once that's determined, then you can worry about what to do to get there. It doesn't seem at all like a situation in which to "set sail without a heading," so to speak. Being that you two got married in the first place, there had to be qualities you saw in each other to decide you wanted to spend your lives together, and chances are that it can be rekindled. Love can be powerful, but so can spite. Only you know which one is has the upper hand inside yourself.

reply to post by KewlDaddyFatty


This is one of two things:

She's feeling crappy about herself, and this is a little crush she has which makes her feel better about herself, something to daydream over, the way most women daydream of Johnny Depp or George Clooney.

Or she's building up a relationship with this man, while keeping you as a safety net in case it doesn't go as planned.

Unfortunately I think it's probably the latter. I have to say my gender shame me a lot. I've seen women who marry for the big day of looking like a princess, and then when the reality of being a wife hits they start having a 'friendship' with a male colleague or friend and lie and say oh we're just friends, whilst staying over their house a lot, and spending more time with that man than with their husband. Clearly they are having an affair, but they won't admit it in case the other man gets bored and they end up alone. It's selfish, and people are more hurt this way.

Do yourself a favour, don't be her safety net. Don't stay in an unhappy marriage. Find yourself a nice woman who will send you nice messages instead.

ok dont go divorcing people! your wife met a new friend, i think it is kinda sexist that a girl cant just be friends with a guy, for all you know hes gay and thet post basically said he was a good friend it didnt say she liked him. just sit back and chill

reply to post by KewlDaddyFatty


Perhaps the reason you find this so disconcerting is not due to sexual jealousy. After all, it's not like she posted a booty-pic or anything. It was a very G-rated Hallmark sort of thing. Perhaps your unease stems from the idea that your wife has emotional needs that she is having met elsewhere. Does she feel comfortable approaching you and discussing her crappy day? Do you have her back when she's feeling down?

Instead of hounding her for a confession, try asking her if she's getting what she needs. It might be as simple as just needing a sympathetic ear at the end of a difficult day.

I hope you two work this out.